Once Upon A Time
After that night, the dreams came.
And in those dreams, she often found herself trapped on the floor as the events from that night played in front of her eyes. Except this time it was different, they weren't saved. Most times she watched as her son was killed before her eyes while she was frozen on the floor, unable to move.
And with those dreams usually came her husband shaking her awake.
Two weeks after the night she spent with him, the hardest dream hit her. She didn't know how to explain it other than to say that it felt so real…she felt the wooden floor under her, she felt her nails breaking as she clawed the floor to reach her boy…
And then she finally pulled herself out of the terror to see her husband shaking her awake. His fingers dug painfully into her arms and she knew he would probably leave bruises in the morning.
"My gods, woman," He said, his voice heavy with what sounded like concern, "It was near impossible to wake you up, are you-."
She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. He grimaced at the impact, but immediately wrapped his arms around her.
"You're safe," he promised her.
She shivered in fear against him and let him rub her back. It was soothing and reminded her of how he used to hold her when she suffered from nightmares when he was human.
She pulled back and saw fresh scratches on his face. She reached out to touch them but he pulled away, "I'm alright dearie. You just put up a fight when I try to wake you."
A bit of shame filled her and she looked down.
"This is nothing though," he promised her, "Do you want to know why the healers didn't come around as much after you were first brought here 15 years ago? Because during one of your nightmares you grabbed a knife and attempted to attack one of them."
"OH for heaven's sake, I did not."
"You did so!" he said, "It was welcome though, they hardly let me in my own house when they were tending to you! Maybe that's when I fell in love with you."
"You didn't realize you loved me till the day I proposed," she muttered.
"Well, just because I wasn't aware of it doesn't mean that I didn't fall in love with you," he shrugged.
"Well I hope you loved me for reasons other than I drove people away from your house," she whispered.
He looked hurt, "Of course I did."
She moved so that she was sitting next to him on the edge of her bed.
A second of silence passed before he sighed, "I wanted to give you so much when we married."
"You gave me enough."
"No I didn't," he scoffed.
She flinched, "Why I left was never your fault."
"Yes it was," he rubbed his eyes, "I could've stood up for you, I could've protected you, somehow I could've prevented you from leaving."
She wanted to tell him that preventing her would've only resulted in her wanting to leave more, but she didn't say that. It would've probably resulted in an argument and she really didn't want to damage this weird little truce that they had together.
"Sometimes I wonder how much would've changed if I had stayed," she whispered.
"Probably not much," he admitted, "There probably would've just been more children to protect. You probably wouldn't have wanted me to go as far as I did, but I wouldn't have listened. But I don't think he would've wanted you to live that long anyway."
She looked at him.
"You don't think I know about the visit that the previous dark one made to you? Of course I do darling, his memories are a part of me now. He was the one that destroyed your belongings; he was the one that made sure you'd be driven away."
"Why?"
"Because he picked me to serve in his place," Rumpelstiltskin shook his head in disgust, "Nothing would've changed if you stayed. If you had then he would've killed you."
"Why on earth would my presence have made a difference?"
"Because he knew I'd act more desperately if I only had my son left. Make no mistake dearie, there's a part of me that's still angry that you left. But there's another part of me that…knows it couldn't have been helped. IF you hadn't left then you wouldn't have survived."
She looked down. It would still be something that she'd regret for the rest of her life.
"If I asked you to, would you come back to me?" he finally asked.
She looked at him sharply, but before she could refuse, he interrupted her, "Darling, I know that we'll never be the same people that we used to be. And hoping for that will only lead to disappointment. But you and I both know that you're sick of just being our guest. Bae needs a mother-."
"I am acting as his mother."
"You spend the day with him and then you come back here for the evening, like we're visiting friends and you leave when you get bored."
"And what do you expect me to do?" she asked, "Live in the main cabin, sleep next to you, do my wifely duty and just pretend you don't hurt people when you think they've done you wrong?"
He looked hurt by her accusation but didn't protest it, "I know I'm not a good man anymore, but I did what I had to do in order to keep our son alive."
"I'm not blaming you for that Rumpelstiltskin; I just question some of the things you're doing after it happened."
"But I can be a good father," he told her, "And I could be a good husband for you, if you let me. We could be happy."
He reached out to touch her hair and she flinched involuntarily. When he pulled back, she felt embarrassed, "Rumpelstiltskin."
"It's fine," he told her and stood awkwardly, "I Know that it's a lot to process, I don't expect an answer tonight."
She was silent as he walked out of the door.
No matter how she tossed and turned, she couldn't get his proposition out of her mind.
She should say 'no'. She should refuse and remind him that that night was just a onetime thing, but there was a part of her that wanted to be with him again. She must've been sick in the head or something because anything else wouldn't make any sense.
If she went back to him…would it be for love? Or would it be for survival? Rumpelstiltskin wouldn't kill her if she refused him, she knew that much.
Or was it for the need of a companion? Even though she had a relationship with her son who she valued more than anything? She knew that there was a part of her that longed for something more than just toleration for the man that used to be her husband.
Maybe if she did this, she could redeem herself for leaving. Rumpelstiltskin had told her that not all of it was her fault but she still left, didn't she?"
That was on her head.
At any rate, she needed to get some sleep. He was probably half asleep too, that was why he proposed this to her in the first place.
Sometime after he left Dagian grabbed a small bag and stepped out into the mud. It'd stopped raining an hour ago but there was still a thick fog that had settled in.
She took the few steps into the main house and opened the door.
Her husband raised his head from the bed and watched as she set her bag by the door and walked into the living quarters.
Bae slept on a small cot on a second floor that Rumpelstiltskin had managed to conjure up when he was rebuilding the house.
"That was quick," he whispered when she crawled next to him, "I thought you would refuse."
"The thought occurred to me," she said and slipped between the covers, "Probably would've been easier actually."
"Then why did you come?"
"I don't know," she told him honestly, "You scare me, you and the things you can do…everything is screaming at me to turn you down on this offer because I've seen how you can be."
"And yet?"
"You've already saved my life twice since you found me," she told him, "I think that's enough of a reason for now."
He hesitated and then wrapped his arms around her; she let him kiss her gently on the cheek, "I you need to trust me. Can you please do that?"
"I'll try," she said. She couldn't distrust him anymore. She was far too tired to live in the paranoia that'd nearly killed her when she first got here. She trusted her son but she needed to start trusting this man as well because nothing would ever get accomplished if they constantly clashed and she did not want that for the rest of her time here.
Rumpelstiltskin pressed his hand against the side of her face, "Well that's a start."
Bae was always awake a few minutes after the sun rose. Most children preferred to sleep in, but in all his life, he never could. Perhaps it was because papa always took him with him to work in the fields or pastures because no one else would watch him. So maybe he was used to it.
Downstairs was quiet, so maybe his mother wasn't up yet. Perhaps papa left early to do whatever business he conducted. Bae really didn't want to know what he did. He had a feeling he wouldn't like it.
Quickly he pulled his clothes on and descended the ladder and what he saw stopped him in his tracks.
His father was leaning against the wall where a headboard should be. His arms were wrapped around Bae's mother who slept on his chest.
Rumpelstiltskin looked up at him as he stared, "Never thought you'd see this, did you?"
Bae was quiet, his mind tried to process what he was looking at. He never thought he'd be staring at this sight in a million years, especially when they spent their days bickering at each other.
Now he sort of knew what they looked like together even if his father wasn't himself anymore.
Papa shrugged, "Your mother had a hard night."
"Is she going to stay in here?"
"Don't know yet," he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "Hope so. Go get your chores done outside; I don't want to wake your mother."
And Bae didn't know whether to be excited or confused or fearful that this could lead to worse things as he left the living quarters.
Present Day
Sometime was wrong with the baby.
Gold brushed past doctors and volunteers as he walked as fast as his bad leg would allow him and searched the rooms frantically.
NO, this couldn't be happening. Not while things were finally going right for them.
Another child shouldn't have to pay for his sins.
IF something happened to this one, then he would never forgive himself. This was supposed to be their second chance. Had he gone so far over the line that his wife and unborn child suffered for his misdeeds?
Bae had already paid for it; these people had already paid for it although he hardly cared about them. But Dagian? She'd already paid enough. Their child? He or she shouldn't have to pay at all.
The lady at the front had told him where she was but he had hardly listened. The hospital was small enough; he knew he could locate her easily.
And he found her talking with Doctor Whale in one of the rooms. He noticed that her stomach was still swollen and he prayed that it was a good sign.
Relief washed over him and he walked into the room. Both looked up and her hand went to her stomach protectively.
"IT's okay," she told him, "It was a false alarm."
"I'll give you a…a moment alone," Dr. Whale said and passed by them.
It was everything he could to hold his posture until the door closed and he felt his emotions start to crumble at the thought of what could have happened. He felt his lip quiver slightly and he wrapped his arms around his wife before she got the chance to open her mouth. The flinch was slight, but he felt it and tightened his grip, "Are you alright?"
She nodded, "I'm fine, it was just a false alarm."
"What happened?"
"I was just walking with that Booth man and I got some sort of pain. Dr. Whale's threatening me with bed rest but he wants to keep me overnight before he makes a decision."
"No," he shook his head immediately, "No, there's nothing to be done for you here that I can't do myself at home."
"Honey," Dawn said and grabbed his hand, "I'll be fine here."
"You'll be more comfortable in our bed."
"Maybe. But if something's wrong then I want trained professionals right there to make sure."
"They're hardly qualified," he spat, but relented because this was their baby they were talking about, "Do you want me here?"
"You look like you'd rather be any other place but here right now," Dagian smiled and placed her hand on her husband's, "Go."
He studied her, "Are you sure?"
She managed a small smile and nodded, "I doubt I'll be much company when I drop off to sleep. And besides, you need to do your…whatever agenda it is for Mary Margaret and friends"
He weighed his options and placed a kiss on her forehead, "I'll be back later. Get some rest."
August waited until Gold was out of sight before he walked toward the bed that Mrs. Gold was laying in.
"I take it you didn't tell him that you remember?"
"No," she said and rested her hand on her stomach, "Not yet. I need to understand what's going on first. And you're going to tell me."
