The spring semester at my University just started, so updates will slow down a bit from now on. If you wish to become my benefactor so I don't need an education, please contact me for payment info, otherwise... well, I guess we'll all have to live with slightly fewer updates. I will still endeavor to update about twice a week, but it will all very much depend on how busy I am. Nagging won't promote a desire in my to update more frequently.
Hermione didn't like Mondays. No, that wasn't true; she didn't like this Monday. Being separated from her friends during the weekend was one thing. She could hide out at the library, pretending that it wasn't true. On a school day, however, she had to spend her classes not talking to her friends and it was downright painful. It wasn't the first time that she'd had a fight with either or both of them, of course, but somehow this felt… different. They believed that she was sleeping with Malfoy, and she was powerless to refute it. Ron wouldn't even look at her, and all day he was uncharacteristically quiet. Harry was much the same. It was torture.
This was day ten. One third of the time had passed and Hermione didn't really think that Malfoy could hurt her any more than he already had. He would probably try and make her lose Head Girl, but that didn't matter much to her if she didn't have her friends. She still didn't doubt that they would forgive her once she could explain, but from the defeated look on Ron's face, she simply wasn't sure that that aspect of their relationship could be mended.
Perhaps it was better this way. After all, they had almost, but not quite, had a thing since fourth year, and it was her fault that it had never progressed. She had done something back then that she hadn't quite been able to forgive herself for, and as a result she had been backing away every time Ron had tried to hint at how he felt. This, of course, had made Ron cautious, and they had been caught in this state of maybe-a-little-bit-more-than-friends for years. It had hurt when Ron had decided to date Lavender Brown last year, but Hermione had tried to cope with it. She hadn't succeeded very well, but she had tried, thinking that perhaps they were never meant to be anything more than friends.
And now there was this.
Maybe Malfoy was inadvertently doing her a favor, although she'd certainly never let him think so. Maybe she and Ron needed to move on. She just wished that Ron and Harry didn't think she was sleeping with him. Moving on was one thing, but having her friends think that she was pretty much whoring herself out to the one Slytherin, who had always been on their case since first year… it was too much.
She knew her friends and she knew they loved her. If they thought that she was in a relationship, they would try and be supportive, no matter how much they hated the one she was with. But this wasn't even like that. The way Malfoy presented this… thing… was that she was accepting his abuse and basically throwing herself at him and he was just taking what was being offered as the Slytherin he was.
Her reputation wouldn't be easy to salvage after this. There was no way that she could prove that he had been lying. Her only hope was that she could somehow brush it off and people would put it all down to bad judgment on her part. It rankled, but there was little else she could do.
At least Malfoy had also dented his own pureblood image by letting it be widely believed that he'd been sleeping with a Muggleborn. This gave Hermione some satisfaction, in spite of the fact that it didn't seem to faze him one bit.
"Hermione, can I talk to you for a second?"
The last class was out and Hermione had been slowly making her way towards the Gryffindor tower, when Ron intercepted her. She stared at him, unsure what to say.
"Or do you have somewhere to be?" he asked, his face falling.
"N-no," Hermione stammered. She didn't have to be anywhere for a couple of hours. "I'm free."
"Ok," he said, trying to catch her eye, but she suddenly felt that her feet were very interesting to look at. He sighed. "Will you talk to me?" he asked.
She nodded hesitantly. "But some things I can't—"
"We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about," he reassured her, taking her arm and steering her towards an empty classroom.
Hermione didn't know what to say, so for the longest time she just stared at Ron after he had closed the door after them and was leaning against it.
Finally, he broke the silence. "Why him?"
She shook her head. "That's one thing I can't answer."
"Then tell me something," he pleaded. "Anything. Make me understand."
Hermione wasn't certain she could do that. She swallowed. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she mumbled.
"But you did," he roughly said. "You must have known that you would when you let Malfoy of all people be your first lover."
"He wasn't my first lover." The words slipped out and Hermione's hands went to her mouth, belatedly trying to keep the words in as she realized what she'd said. She hadn't refuted Malfoy's claim that she was his lover, because that was physically impossible for her; she had done something much, much worse. Her eyes widened in horror, tears filling them.
Ron stared at her as if she'd slapped him, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. Hermione wanted to die for hurting him like this. "If that's the case," he finally said in a shaky voice. "Then why didn't you just say that you never wanted me? Why did you let me think that, maybe, someday…" His voice faded. "Who are you?" he whispered.
"No, Ron," Hermione pleaded, taking a step towards him. "It was such a long time ago, it was before… but I was afraid to tell you. I'm sorry."
Ron blinked a few times and looked around him as if he was trying to remember what he was doing there. Finally, he carefully pushed away from the door and staggered over to a chair to take a seat.
"I always did want to be your girlfriend," Hermione continued, battling back the tears, "but back then I was confused and you didn't seem like you wanted anything to do with me, so I made the worst mistake of my life."
"That still doesn't explain Malfoy," he hoarsely said.
"No, it doesn't," she conceded. "I can't explain that. Not yet. Please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you," he slowly said, his throat working convulsively. "You don't have to lower yourself to be with the likes of him. Please don't see him anymore."
Hermione winced. "I have to," she whispered. "I have an… arrangement… with him. I'm his for another three weeks."
Ron shot off the chair. "You mean to say he's raping you?" he yelled. "Is that what this is, Hermione? Is he forcing you? Does he have something on you that he uses to force you to sleep with him? Answer me!"
Hermione stared at Ron in shock. "Of course not!" she blurted out. "I swear, Ron, he's never touched me against my will!"
She couldn't allow him to think that Draco was raping her. In spite of everything he'd ever done, rapist was one label he did not deserve. He was the nastiest pureblood bigot south of the North Pole, but she had never seen any evidence that he touched any girl against her will – quite the opposite. She hadn't heard about him in connection with anyone but Pansy and Merlin knew she was willing.
Ron slowly sat down again. "Then I still don't understand," he said, hitting the table quite forcibly with his closed fist. "You know I love you and yet you choose to go to someone who will call you a Mudblood and belittle you just for the fun of it. I know you don't think so little of yourself. He must be putting a lot of effort into seducing you."
Hermione almost laughed out loud at that notion, but only almost. This whole thing was so tragic.
"I'm not asking you to wait for me until I can explain, and I promise you I will explain when this is over," she said, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I know it's over b-between us… I just hope you forgive me enough that you'll be my friend again. Maybe not now, but some day…"
"What are you talking about?" he demanded, getting up again to go over to her and grab her shoulders. "I will never not be your friend, do you hear me? I don't understand any of this, but don't you dare think you're alone!"
Hermione's eyes widened and a warm feeling spread in her chest, the tears finally spilling. "Ron…" she breathed.
"And I won't lie to you, it hurts like the devil to know that you're with him, but if that's what you have to do… I just want you to be happy, and if you say that you can explain some day, then I will wait for it and hope I can understand you then." His hands slipped down her arms and his eyes softened. "And if there's a chance that maybe someday you will let me love you, then I'll be here waiting for that day. You won't be getting away from me that easily."
Hermione couldn't speak. Instead, she flung her arms around the boy who probably cared more about her than anyone else in the whole world, and held him tight, while her traitorous tears soaked through his robes. His arms gently enfolded her, and she felt him press a kiss on the top of her head. She lifted her face to his, and his lips gently brushed away her tears before finding her lips.
Draco was feeling restless and irritable. The cursed ring was doing this to him. If he took it off, he was restless and irritable because of the void it left, and if he put it on, he was restless and irritable because of the despair that kept pouring in at him.
This had to stop. He didn't know how, but, somehow, it had to stop. He had to find a way to block those feelings. He wished that he could just order Granger to get over being snubbed by her loser friends, but he knew that the bracelet didn't work that way. He couldn't order her how to feel.
He growled audibly.
"Such a lovely mood today," Blaise observed from his place on the couch. "Again, I might add. You know, you'll become a grumpy old man one of these days."
Theo hid a smile behind a hand.
"So, what's ailing you?" Blaise asked. "Girl problems?" He smirked.
Draco scowled. "Girls are problems; I'm considering moving to an all-male society."
Blaise laughed out loud and Theo quirked an eyebrow.
"Things might be required of you in such a society," Theo mused. "Things that you might not be very willing to… explore."
Blaise's laughter grew louder.
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Don't be too sure of that, it might be worth it."
Blaise now had tears rolling down his cheeks and was gasping for air.
The other two looked at him for a few minutes.
"I think he's beginning to lack oxygen," Theo observed.
Draco nodded, noticing the purplish tint to his friend's face. "I wouldn't worry too much about it," he said. "He's got nothing that will sustain any real damage."
Blaise slid down from the couch to the floor, still shaking uncontrollably.
"He sure is easily amused," Theo said after a bit. "A few remarks and he gets going for several minutes."
"I know," Draco said, poking the dark Slytherin with a foot. "He's worse than a girl sometimes."
"So, he's not invited to your all-male society then?"
Draco wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "No." He paused and then added as an afterthought, "But you can come if you want."
Blaise's laughter, which had been subsiding, started up again with renewed force.
Theo pretended to consider this. "No, thank you," he said after a few seconds. "I find that I'm quite unwilling to… explore… even with you."
Draco shrugged. "You'd be missing out," he said, unable to suppress his own grin anymore.
Theo raised an eyebrow and also poked Blaise with a foot. "I'm sure I would," he murmured.
"Enough with the gay talk," Blaise gasped from the floor. "Please!" He worked himself up to his elbows, looking thoroughly rumpled.
Draco looked up to catch Tracey Davis looking at Blaise from across the room with a small fond smile on her lips. So they were still at it, were they?
"So, how's Tracey?" Draco asked, pursing his lips.
This stopped Blaise's laughter, but he didn't get angry. Instead he looked rather resigned. "I don't know," he said, getting up and sitting down on the couch again. "Why don't you ask her?"
Draco shrugged. "I would, but it's much easier to ask you, you seem to have all the… inside… info on that one."
Blaise's eyes darkened with anger, but he didn't let it show in any other way. "Tracey is fine," he said in his most silky voice. "In fact I was talking to her just yesterday, and guess what she told me?"
Draco decided to take the bait. "What did she tell you?" he asked.
Blaise smiled. It was a slow, unpleasant smile. "She told me that Pansy has been complaining that you won't sleep with her. Apparently, it's been that way for months and that was the original reason why you broke up. Imagine my surprise…"
Draco's eyes widened and he blanched a little. This was going too far, even if he'd been picking on Blaise with regards to Tracey.
Even Theo thought so. "Blaise, that's personal," he quietly said.
"Is it?" Blaise said, angrily getting up. "Then perhaps our dear Draco here should keep his nose out of other people's personal business!" He stormed off to his dormitory.
Draco swallowed and stared after his friend.
"Perhaps you shouldn't pick on him," Theo said. "He's very sensitive about it and it really isn't our business."
Draco didn't get a chance to reply because suddenly he noticed a change in the emotions flowing at him from the ring. They went from heartbreaking despair to warmth and contentment with very little warning. His eyes bulged and he made a strangled sound at the change. It didn't end there. Then it became… pleasure!?
What the hell was going on?
"What's wrong, Draco?" Theo asked.
"Uh, um, ah, nothing," Draco mumbled, hardly able to concentrate long enough to give that reply. He abruptly stood. "I have to go… my room… homework…"
He hurried off before Theo could ask any questions.
This time I even edited it to give you names...
"Why would I tell you my secrets?" he asked. "The last thing I need is for you to have something on me."
"I wouldn't use it against you," Hermione immediately said. "I promise. On my honor. And how could I, anyway? It's just homework; the worst case scenario is that you're failing your classes or…" Her voice trailed off as he tensed.
Draco stared straight ahead and she shifted uncomfortably.
"You're failing your classes?" she quietly asked. "How can that be?"
