Once Upon A Time

Things seemed to change again after that night in the household. Rumpelstiltskin seemed to treat her with more far more respect and while he wasn't openly affectionate there was still enough in his eyes that she could see it.

But other than holding each other at night, they were still reluctant to touch the other one. IT was a silent mutual agreement that they weren't ready to go down that road. At least not just yet. Sometimes it was just hard enough to sleep next to him at night knowing that somewhere someone was suffering because he had punished them for a wrong. Real or imagined.

And touching him was different than what it had been fourteen years ago. She remembered him feeling…'rough' but now his skin felt almost like a snake's. He didn't smell of sweat and dirt brought on by the daily backbreaking work of their village, he smelled almost sickly sweet.

She imagined that she'd changed too but hopefully not as drastically.

Gods, she hated nights like this when she couldn't sleep and had to think about these things.

Instead she opened a curtain and watched the sky. It was so late that the rest of the village was dark and the moon only lit up a little bit of the area around the house.

She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and watched the sky.

Her father had tried to teach her about the stars and which constallations they belonged to, but the subject had always seemed dull. Other than knowing what way was north, what good would knowing them serve to a girl that would probably marry someone in the frontlands and raise a family there?

Other than knowing her location, they still hadn't served much good.

Maybe she could bore herself to sleep.

Rumpelstiltskin was awakened when he thought he saw a light flash when his eyes were closed. Immediately his thoughts went to his family's safety and he drew a dagger out from underneath his pillow and halfway sat up.

Dagian jumped when he turned to her, "What are you doing?"

He scanned the room to find that no one was there. The light he'd thought he'd seen was only the room. Dagian had pulled the curtain over his…their bed and was sitting there staring at the night sky.

"Nothing," he shoved the knife back under the pillow.

"Have a nightmare?" she asked.

"No," he said. He didn't dream. He didn't even need to sleep. IT was just a way to pass the time.

He laid his head back on the pillow and stared at her as she turned back to the window. She was almost pretty again. Not that she wasn't lovely when he brought her here but the fear and stress that he'd put her through as well as whatever she'd gone through those 14 years had left it's impression and while she didn't look 21 anymore, she was still nice to look at.

The moon illuminated her frame under the gown. Staying stationary and eating better was allowing her to get her figure back from the malnourished twig that she was when he brought her here. Now that they'd found some sort of…truce and way to live around each other he found that he was starting to become attracted to her again.

"I was going to be married when those men found me," Dagian said breaking the silence.

"Yes," he put his hands under his head, "I know."

"I guess being the dark one allows you to be privy to that information."

"I saw the ring in your wardrobe."

She lowered her head, "Oh."

He stared at the ceiling, he had been hoping that they would never be talking about her involvement with that recruiter but ti was bound to happen eventually, "Humor me and be honest, did you love him?"

She looked back out the window, "Yes. But he's dead now."

"I figured. I imagine you'd still be trying to escape if he was still alive, and you would've hidden the ring better. OR left it there when you were attacked in hopes that he'd find it and come for you.

She wiped the tear from her eye, "He was cut down by the same men who took me."

Rumpelstiltskin sat up, "Don't tell me that you're imagining him when you're with me dear."

"No," she shook her head, "No, I never allowed myself to…I- I never gave him the opportunity to be with him anyway…and Filib would ask if I would marry him. He asked me countless times. When he would bring me food. He would tell me when the recruiters were coming my way and he asked me to marry him because the wives of the recruiters don't get pulled into war."

"Why didn't you?"

"Sometimes I thought about it. It would've been much easier. Recruiters are paid well…have some status, a chance to survive. And then I would sit there and I would think to myself…what would happen if I became with child? And then I realized that I couldn't. I couldn't live as his new wife and carry his children when the family that I left behind lived on without their wife and mother."

"But you kept the ring."

She scooted back to his side and said bitterly, "I said yes the day that he was killed. I'm quite the bad luck charm it seems."

"What changed your mind? After years of refusing, what changed your mind?"

"I looked in the mirror one day and I saw that I was no longer the proud daughter of a general. I was a hypocrite and a coward and a vow breaker and I hated myself. I broke that bloody mirror. Threw it across the room. And then I realized that I couldn't go back to you because I could never look you in the eye after what I'd done. I called you a coward and yet I was the one that ran. I realized that with Filib then maybe I could start over. Become the woman my father raised me to be…and then I Realized that after all these years that maybe I just loved him."

She wiped another tear from her eye and shook her head slowly, "But that doesn't matter now. He was cut down from behind. He's dead and I never told him just how much I…there was a lot I wish I could tell him now."

"Would you have married him sooner if you could go back and do it again?"

"Probably not. IT still probably would've all ended the same and we'd be here. I could never forgive myself for what I did to our family. I was never happier than I was the months I spent in that little crowded bed waking up next to you. And I think that if I had married him then the next few years until those same men came for me…would've been overshadowed by me waking up every morning remembering that happiness I had when things were far simpler."

He brushed the back of his knuckle against her face. There was a part of him that would always hate her for leaving. Especially when she lived in the cowardice that she left him over. But there was another part of him that wished she were happy. That she'd been able to marry and have children. She'd barely been sick when she was pregnant with Bae, or so he'd been led to believe, and she'd been strong enough to carry him almost to term despite the heavy stress put on her. She'd given birth to Bae pretty easily as well. He remembered his father telling him that some women were made to have children and Rumpelstiltskin had firmly believed that Dagian had been one of those women he'd been talking about. It was a shame that she'd robbed herself of that for all these years and by his sterility, he was robbing it from her as well. "You and me both dearie."

He placed a light kiss on her lips and turned over to go to sleep.

Present Day

Waking up with no idea about what was going on was something akin to falling through the air with nothing to grab onto.

Contrary to Dagian's belief, August assured her that she wasn't dead. Just in a different land in which the only magic available was the magic that they brought over.

And several centuries had passed and she was currently married to the man who she KNEW started this whole thing and he used others to meet his goals.

August didn't know the complete details of that, she didn't think. But she put enough of it together. He was just barely able to give her the bare essentials about Charming, and Snow, and Emma and Regina and the point they all played.

It all sounded like something from a bloody fantasy novel.

But she knew that she couldn't let Gold know that she was aware. OR that she knew that he remembered as well. She didn't even want to think about what that would mean. He would probably still be quite angry that she did what she did and if he knew that she remembered her sins, then he might want to speed up his little revenge mission.

IT had to be revenge. Why else would he force her to remain married to him and keep her memories erased? While he remembered and did whatever he wanted to her for the past 28 years?

The thought of him touching her made her sick but she knew she had to endure it for now. She didn't expect to keep him fooled for long, but she would play his game.

Although the thought of him wanting to make love to her made her stomach turn and she didn't think she would be able to keep the charade up if it came to that.

Especially since he'd more than happily taken advantage of her not remembering these past 28 years.

AT least now she could argue that it wouldn't be good for the baby now.

She rested her hand on her stomach and looked down at it. She'd gotten a memory that came to her as her pregnancy progressed, was the baby what woke her up?

The door to her room opened and her husband came into the room. She stared harder at her stomach so she didn't have to look at him. He may look an older version of the man that she married but she wasn't fooled. She recognized the vicious glint in his eyes as Rumpelstiltskin.

He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her, "I insisted that you get a private room for tonight."

"Thank you," she responded and tried to keep her voice from sounding so angry.

"You don't look like you rested."

"I didn't," she said, "IT's not my bed."

"You had the chance to go home but you refused."

Not that she wanted to return to their bed, but he didn't know that. Instead she looked at her stomach, "I'm going to look like a balloon."

He watched her carefully and pressed his lips against her stomach. His brown eyes felt like they bore through her skull and saw her soul stripped bare, "And you'll still be the most beautiful woman in Storybrooke."

She smiled but she couldn't shake the feeling that he either suspected or that he knew, "You're supposed to say that, you're my husband."

He sat down and rubbed his leg, "I was going to be here earlier, but there's been a new development in the case."

"Oh yeah?" she held her stomach and sat up. He grabbed her elbow to assist her and chills ran down her body, "What would happen so late?"

"Mrs. Blanchard is gone."

Dagian blinked, "As in…escaped? Why would she escape?"

He nodded and sat back on the bed, "Because she's scared I'd imagine. People do some of the most nonsensical things when they're scared."

It was a warning. He knew. "Well why aren't you out looking for her?"

He shrugged and took off his jacket and tie, "That's the sheriff's responsibility, not mine."

"I figured that since you wanted to help Mary Margaret then you'd want to make sure she wasn't a fugitive," she snapped.

"And what exactly am I going to do in order to get her to come back? She only started trusting me because I was the only one with the knowledge to help her," he kicked his shoes off and laid beside her, "Our fearless sheriff has it all under control, I imagine she'll find Ms. Blanchard and keep her from leaving town."

"And if she doesn't?"

He crawled up beside her and let his head hit the pillow, "Well then Ms. Blanchard won't be the only one facing trouble if she's not back in her cell by her arraignment in the morning."

"Visiting hours are over," she said.

"I allow them to live here; they can let me sleep in the same bed with my wife."

She turned on her side to make some room and so she wouldn't have to look at him, he turned as well and rested his hand on her stomach. It wasn't something he did to make her squirm. It was more of a protective gesture. He'd done it when she was pregnant with Bae as well.

"Do you think the sheriff will find her by then?" she asked.

"I have no doubt."

Dagian settled down next to him, "I think you put too much hope in a woman that would trust Sidney Glass of all people."

"Hm," he kissed her cheek and she tried not to cringe. There was affection in the gesture. Maybe even a hint of playfulness, "How's the baby?"

"She spent the last few hours playing kickball with my bladder and that wouldn't be so bad except she was also playing cymbals with my kidneys. And I'm tired and crampy and being pregnant is so overrated."

"I'm sorry darling," his hand searched her stomach as if he was looking for a kick. "I'd massage your feet but that's frankly quite disgusting."

"Well I wouldn't want you touching my feet anyway," she curled up.

He kissed the top of her head and smiled when he felt his daughter kick him in the side, "She's going to be a strong one."

"Don't I know it? I try to make myself feel better by telling myself it's only a few more months. Then I realize I said 'months' as in plural and then I cry."

He sighed, "It wasn't supposed to be this difficult for you."

It wasn't so bad. This was easy compared to the pressure she'd been under when she carried Bae, "I can handle it though. I just wanted to complain about it for a bit."

"You're entitled to that every now and then I suppose."

A few moments of silence passed and Dagian knew he wouldn't fall asleep anything soon and neither would she, "Is Mary innocent?"

"I don't know darling."

"Yes you do," she said and stared through the window, "You know everything that goes on in this town."

HE felt his child kick him again and he was reminded immediately why he was doing this to Regina. Or at least one of the reasons, "Yes, she's innocent."

A couple of seconds of silence passed before he felt his wife adjust her position, "Good. If you can't trust Mary Margaret Blanchard of all people, then who can you trust?"