Author's Note: Sorry to leave you guys hanging. I am a major fail at updating. I apologize. Computer issues tend to do that. Now that I'm back in the saddle, updates should be a regular occurrence, or at least I hope so. Thanks for sticking around. I really appreciate it. I typed this chapter up in a hurry so you'll have to excuse my typos. I'll fix them later. Okay. . . I'm done. Enjoy.
***This is where the story begins to earn its M rating: If you are under 18 you shouldn't be reading this.***
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 8: My Life Isn't Over
PPOV
Damn it all to hell. The universe is out to get me. There is no other way to explain the fuckery of the reality that is my life at this exact moment. This has to be a fucking joke. A cruel fucking joke, but a joke nonetheless. Was fate mocking me, somehow punishing me for some past misdeed unbeknownst to me? Well, if that's the case then mission fucking accomplished.
My mind was going a million miles a minute, screaming at me to do something. To fix this mess, but unfortunately, I could do nothing more than watch Bella hit the ground. Until she passed out, I hadn't realized the magnitude of the error I just made. With my brain finally cooperating with me, I quickly phased back into my human form; naked as the day I was born, and cautiously approached Bella's unconscious form. I kneeled beside her prone form, and gently lifted her head onto my lap. I gazed at her beautiful face, peaceful in slumber and gently brushed the hair out of her face.
As relieved as I was that she had only passed out, I was somewhat disappointed that it happened to begin with. As much as I understood that seeing someone transform from a human into a hairy beast was terrifying, I remembered that she was no stranger to all things supernatural. I was not the first mythical being that she had encountered. She had surrounded herself with bloodsuckers for months without a care in the word, yet she fell to the ground in an instant at the sight of me in my wolf form. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but it definitely wasn't this. I thought perhaps maybe she'd be awed, maybe even amazed as I revealed my true self to her, but here I sit, with her unconscious form resting in my lap.
"Bella," I murmured, lifting her off of the ground, "what am I going to do with you?" I mused aloud. Once she was cradled in my arms I carried her towards the tent that Jared and Kim were nice enough to set up for us. I had yet to mention this little fact to Bella earlier. I had been to caught up in all things Bella and worrying about how she would react to everything once the wolf was out of the bag so to speak.
After Bella was resting comfortably in the tent, I rummaged around in my bag and quickly put on a pair of shorts, all the while trying to figure out what to say or do once Bella awoke. With nothing else to do besides wait, I exited the tent and began pacing back and forth as I replayed that distractions moment again in my head, over and over. Fuck! This night had turned into a catastrophe, and as much as I didn't want to admit, I was the only one at fault. Frustrated, I roughly started pulling on my hair, and groaned when it started hurting. This entire week had been the most confusing shit storm I had ever experienced, but through it all, Bella had been the light at the end of the tunnel. Would it still be that way once she awoke and remembered what happened just moments before?
I heard her heartbeat pick up and her breathing change, alerting me to the fact that she was waking up. I guess I would soon have the answers to my questions. I stopped my pacing and tentatively moved toward the tent, anxiously awaiting Bella's reaction. I poked my head inside to see Bella sitting there with her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped protectively around them; rocking back and forth. Deciding to stop being a pussy and to get this over with, I made my way to the other side of the tent; opposite her and eased my myself into a sitting position on the ground.
"You're awake." Was my genius remark, stating the obvious. Not only could I smell the tears, I saw them slowly streaking down her face. I had to fight the urge to go to her and comfort her but controlled the desire to do so knowing that it wouldn't help matters at the moment.
She glared at me, her eyes shooting daggers at me, trying to kill me with her stare alone. I stifled a chuckle. "How could you do this to me? How could you bring me out here and not even warn me beforehand that you turn into. . . into-"
"A werewolf," I snapped, cutting her off. Feeling defensive and slightly irritated by her reaction, I continued in a much harsher tone than I intended. "Look, I didn't mean to frighten you, but please, let's not pretend here. You surrounded yourself with bloodsuckers; going so far as to date one of them, so please cut the bullshit. What is this really about?" I asked, pausing long enough for her to respond, when that didn't happen I continued my tirade. "Is it the fact that I have a beating heart, or is it your lingering feelings for that bloodsucker who dropped you like yesterdays trash?"
No sooner had the words left my mouth; I knew I was in for it. I heard, rather than felt the resounding clap of her hand slapping me across my face. Before I had time to respond she stormed out of the tent, huffing and muttering to herself. I followed after her like a good little boy, prepared to grovel at her feet, but the sight of her kitten anger was amusing me to no end.
"How dare you!" She screamed, the sound reverberating through the open field, causing me to wince. "I know what I've done and I don't need you throwing it in my face." She spat. "Whatever happened in the past has nothing to do with my feelings for you. So I freaked out, sue me." She shrugged. "It's not an everyday occurrence to find out that the man I'm falling in love with happens to transform into some mythical creature before my very eyes." Softening her tone, she went on. "I reacted badly and I'm sorry, but that in no way gives you the right to be an asshole about it."
The rest of her words were lost on me, as I was still stuck on the part about her falling in love with me. A warm growing sensation began to spread across my chest after hearing those words. I wanted nothing more than to kiss and ravish her with all the burning passion growing inside me.
"So you're falling in love with me?" I said as a smirk spread across my face. I couldn't help but laugh a bit at her little temper tantrum. However, this only seemed to infuriate her more. Annoyed at the smug look on my face, she proceeded to shove me with all her strength, barely managing to nudge me. Not wanting her to get away, I gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me, bringing her flush against my chest, my face so close to hers that I could feel her warm breath caressing the skin my face. We stared into each other's eyes for a moment before the desire to kiss her won out. I molded my lips to her pretty little mouth and kissed her with all the passion and ferocity that had been building up within me since we got here. Her lips were so soft and smooth against mine. I grasped her hips, bringing her closer still; brushing my erection against her stomach. She gasped and moaned into the kiss, which I took advantage of by entering her mouth and brushing my tongue against hers. She smelled so good, like flowers and strawberries, and just Bella. She ground herself against my dick causing me to growl into the kiss. I could smell her arousal and I wanted nothing more than to claim her right here and now, but the need for oxygen caused her to abruptly pull away for some much needed air.
"I don't think so," she said as she continued to catch her breath. She moved away from me, turning her back towards me. "You aren't getting out of this by distracting me. I haven't forgotten that you're a werewolf." She turned around to face me once again. "Is this the only thing you've been hiding from me?" she said inquisitively.
My dick wasn't too happy with her at the moment. He has a mind of his own and he was ready to bust out of my shorts and fuck her. I willed him to behave before he got me in even more trouble.
"I was waiting for the right moment. I couldn't very well come right up to you and say 'Hi, I'm Paul and I'm a werewolf .' It's not exactly something I could just casually mention or throw out there and expect you to be okay with it." I shrugged. I was debating on whether it would be wise to mention the imprinting tonight and everything that it entailed. I didn't know how she'd handle it. I didn't need her passing out again or rejecting me altogether. This was uncharted territory for me and it was freaking me the fuck out. I didn't want to overwhelm her anymore than I already had. I was doing my best to rein in my emotions, trying to stay composed and in control. Bella's anger wasn't helping matters either. Her anger continued to fuel the fire and my intense desire for her. This was all new to me. I had never felt this way before, and I wanted nothing more than to be completely honest with Bella, put everything on the table so we could move forward.
I was brought out of my reverie by Bella waving her hand in my face. "Hello? Are you going to finish what you were saying or just stand there all night?"
"Pipe down, I was just thinking for a second-"
"Don't start your bullsh-"
Glairing at her for interrupting me, "are you going to let me finish?" I said brusquely.
"Sorry," she said, "please continue"
"Okay, look," I said "there are things I need to explain but judging from your reaction earlier, I'm not sure how much more of this conversation you can handle tonight."
"You can be a real jerk sometimes," she grumbled. "I'm not some fragile little human; as you pointed out earlier, I associated with vampires and lived to tell about it. And if I didn't want to know anymore, I wouldn't have asked. I want to know everything, so please let's just get this over with."
"Touché, you have a valid point," I said "But first could we maybe go in the tent, cool off, maybe even finish our dessert before we tackle this conversation?"
"Fine," she acquiesced, "but not funny business, mister. No distracting me." She warned.
I laughed, amused yet again. "I promise we'll talk about this whole werewolf thing. We can do that . . .among other things." I winked and was rewarded the sight of the pink blush coloring her cheeks.
.
.
Back in the tent, having finished dessert, Bella and I sit facing one another. Trying to clam my nerves, I grab her hands and hold them on my lap. Her touch does much to clam my nerves. Heaving a deep breath, I begin regaling her with the tales that comes with being a werewolf and everything it entails. I mentioned that the gene was passed on from generation to generation. Why and how it started. I assured her that we're not designed to slaughter innocent people, only vampires. I explained in detail of the treaty that was established by our ancestors long ago concerning the Cullens and how it's still intact to this day. I explained it all; the fever, the change, what it felt like, the growth spurt, the pack, and the freedom that comes with being a wolf in general.
"You seem to enjoy it," she said. "Being a wolf I mean."
I nodded, agreeing. "It has it perks," I smiled, whispering softly; holding her gaze.
A slow smile flitted across her face, "what kind of perks?"
"Well," I said, "we imprint"
She furrowed her brows and scrunched up her cute little nose. "What's that?"
Sighing and still holding her gaze; it was now or never.
"An imprint is when a wolf finds their other half; their soul mate." I said. "When they see that person for the first time, it's as if nothing else matters. The best way to describe it is like tunnel vision; the background disappears and all you see is them, glowing brightly as if they were the sun. You're tied to that person for the rest of your life. You'll do anything . . . be anything for them; whether it be friend, boyfriend, lover. The choice is up to them."
She inhaled shakily, "you sound as if you're speaking from experience."
I smiled, nodded, "I am." I confirmed.
"So you imprinted on-"
"You. I imprinted on you. At Billy's funeral."
She withdrew her hands from my grasp and stood up, arms crossed with an incredulous
look on face. "So you broke up with your girlfriend and the only reason we're even here now is because you had no choice in the matter?" She choked out, tears welling in her eyes.
Damn it. I stood up and made my way towards her. "No Bella. It's not like that." I said. "The ability to imprint just points us in the right direction. I may not have a choice in the matter, as you said, but I wouldn't change a thing. I do, however, have a choice when it comes to matters of the heart. The imprint doesn't force us to fall in love. If that happens, it happens because we want it to."
Pulling her closer to me, I cradled her face in my hands and brushed away the salty tears running down her face. "I told you earlier tonight that once you knew the truth, the choice would be yours. And as I explained, I will be anything you need me to be. I'll settle for being your friend if that is your wish." Or at least I'd try to be okay with that, I lamented in my mind.
She laughed and smiled a watery smile. "Being your friend is nice and all, but I want more. I've already told you I was falling in love with you. Of course I want you."
I smirked. "That's good to know, 'cause after smelling your sweet arousal earlier, I wouldn't settle for just being your friend. I'd wear you down with my charms and good looks until you gave in, woman."
Laughing and shaking her head, "Jacob was right, you are dangerous."
Well that sobered me right up. Why did she have to mention his name? Why bring that fucker up?
Growling, I glared at her. "Keep Jacob out of this."
Backing away, she tried to kill me with her evil eye again. "What-"
"Don't bring his name up." I snapped, giving her no time to finish that remark.
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, but I am."
"I didn't mean anything by it." She said, eyeing me wearily, "you're not jealous are you?"
I could feel my chest vibrating with the growl that was slowly making its way up my chest as I advanced on her. With her firmly pressed against my chest, "there's nothing to be jealous of." I assured her. "You. Are. Mine."
Nodding her head in the affirmative, "I'm yours." She agreed.
That was all I needed to hear before I pressed my lips to hers. I lowered us both to the floor of the tent, with her underneath me. Removing my lips from hers, I kissed my way down her jaw line, trailing kisses against the column of her neck and across her collarbone.
I ground my erection into her and was rewarded with her breathy little moan. Trailing my lips back up to her mouth, I whispered "I want you. . .so bad, baby," against her lips.
"I'm yours, take me." She whined.
I paused, suddenly unsure, "Bella, this isn't how your first time should-."
Shaking her head, she brought her hands up to cup my face. "I don't need any of those silly romantic notions that most girls dream about. All I need is you, please. . ."
"Bella. . ." I closed me eyes, trying to stop my dick from assaulting her. ". . .if you don't want this, don't want me, tell me now. If. . ." When she silenced my verbal outpour with her soft lips over mine, I knew I had my answer.
"I want you, please, Paul, I need. . ."
"I know, baby."
My hands roaming her body, I couldn't get rid of her clothes fast enough. Struggling with her shirt, "Just rip them off." She growled, her voice impatient and husky with desire.
Once her shirt was no longer an issue, my nimble fingers made quick work removing her bra. I couldn't stop the low growl that escaped at the sight of her beautiful breasts laid bare for my viewing pleasure, just waiting to be worshiped by me and me alone. "Beautiful." I whispered.
I smiled down at her, caressing her face with the side of my hand, as I leaned down and pressed my mouth to hers, sliding my tongue across her bottom lip, teasing it until she parted her lips and welcomed my tongue into her mouth, humming, both of us fighting for dominance.
I pulled back, working my lips down her jaw, nipping her throat, before gilding my tongue over hers again, letting my hands ghost down over her full breasts, teasing her pebbled nipples, cupping them, massaging them as my mouth grew more ravenous over hers. She moaned, arching her back and pressing her breasts upwards, harder against my hands; whimpering when I pinched her nipples, teasing them, feeling them swell into hardened nubs.
Tearing my mouth from hers, I trailed kisses down the column of her throat before I closed my mouth over her nipple, sucking as much of her breast into my mouth that I could fit, flicking her nipple with my tongue. I suckled her nipple lavishly, before releasing it with a load pop to give the same attention and treatment to the other.
Moving my hands down her body, I unbuttoned her jeans, sliding my hands under her body, lifting her up, and gently removed them, pulling them over her ass, and down her creamy thighs, until they were no longer an issue. Back in position, I spread her legs, wrapping them around my hips, pressing my aching cock against her heated core. I groaned when she started grinding her hips into mine, whimpering when she found the friction she needed.
"Fuck," I groaned, pulling back and sitting up on my knees. Lifting her legs, my hands gripped her thighs and opened them wide to stare at her cloth covered pussy. Bella's surprised yelp registered as I tore the flimsy little underwear she had on from her body. Looking at her pussy, her glistening folds begging for my attention, I bent my head, flicking my tongue over her clit. She hissed, jerking her hips. "You're dripping wet, baby."
"Paul. . ." She whimpered, writhing against me. I swept my tongue over her slit, letting her sweet cream coat my tongue. The heavy juices of her arousal flowed onto my tongue. I slid my tongue into her, thrusting into her in a steady rhythm, fucking her with my talented tongue as she cried out, her tiny hands gripping my hair painfully, pressing me closer. Wanting her to come on my mouth, I brought my fingers up to tease her clit.
"Oh God, Paul. . ."
I slowed my movements, bringing her back from the brink, then shifted, sucking her clit into my mouth as I pressed a finger slowly into her tight heat. The walls of her pussy clutched my finger, stretching her. I flexed my finger, sliding it in and out of her, letting her adjust to the intrusion.
I watched my finger slide in and out of her as she withered underneath me. I released her clit from my mouth and brought my thumb up to massage her clit, sliding another finger into her. I could feel her walls fluttering against my fingers, letting me know that she was close. I curled my fingers upward, teasing that sweet spot within her that I knew would push her over the edge. She moaned and bit down on her lip, her hips rocking against my hand, until all too soon she was crying out with her release. My name escaped her mouth in a loud wail as she shuddered beneath me, her juices flowing over my hand.
"Paul, please, I can't wait any longer. I want to feel you inside me."
Pulling me down on her, our tongues met as I settled between her legs. Her small hands slid down, stroking me through my shorts, before impatiently trying to remove my shorts.
Holding he gaze with mine, I pulled back removed my shorts, before settling between her thighs once again, her legs wrapping around me, pulling me close as my cock brushed against the wet lips of her warm sex.
Pressing my forehead against hers, and willing my dick not to maul her, I whispered, "are you sure?"
When she nodded against me, I lifted my head, still holding her gaze; sliding my hand down, I lifted her leg as I positioned my cock against her entrance. We both groaned as I slipped inside her just a tiny fraction. Her walls wrapping tightly around me, stretching and welcoming me to the only piece of heaven I ever wanted to know.
"More. . ." She whimpered, rocking her hips, taking me in further.
"God, Bella, you're so tight, so wet for me." I shifted, holding her gaze with mine as I pushed my cock further inside her until I reached the point of her barrier. "This is going to hurt." I warned as my mouth slid over hers, ravishing her mouth with mine.
Pressing my head into her neck, I gave one powerful thrust, breaking through her barrier, taking away her innocence. Fully inside her now, I panted as I struggled not to move, to give her time to accommodate my size. She whimpered, closing her eyes, trying to adjust to the pain. "I'm okay," she whispered. "Just give me a minute." I nodded as I began kissing her closed eyelids, her cheeks, her forehead, before I moved back to her lips.
She experimented by circling her hips, testing the waters. We both moaned at the sensation and I took that as my cue to begin moving. I pulled out almost all of the way, before thrusting back in to the hilt. She arched against me, a startled cry escaping her lips, her eyes rolling back in her head.
"Fuck," she hissed as I began thrusting wildly. I know most women aren't able to come their first time, but my Bella was going to come. Feeing her arousal coating my cock and dripping down her thighs, I gripped her hips tightly as I continued thrusting.
"Paul, I'm going. . . I'm going to. . ." she whimpered, rolling her hips into mine, meeting each of my thrusts in turn with one of her own. My cock was aching for release, ready to explode. Sucking her nipple into my mouth, I bit down as I moved my free hand down her body, teasing and pinching her clit as I continued to thrust in and out of her. "Come for me, Bella."
"Paul," she moaned, her pussy quivering around my dick as she started to come undone.
I gave a deep thrust as I pinched her clit again. She screamed, coming around my cock as her pussy clutched me in a death grip, bringing forth my own orgasm. I came hard, roaring her name as I spilled my seed deep inside her.
She lay panting under me, a lazy smile forming on her lips. "That was. . ."
"I know," I agreed, gently pulling out of her, both of us groaning at the loss of contact. Landing with an exhausted heap on my side, I pulled her with me.
She gave me a sly smile, "can we go for round two?" My dick twitched at the thought of having her again, but I knew she had to be sore.
Chucking and feeling rather smug, I feigned shock. "You're insatiable," I teased. "It seems I've created a monster."
She blushed, smacking my chest. "I can't help it. . . I've never. . .that was. . ." she stuttered.
I laughed. "As much as I would love another go, your body needs time to rest." I kissed away her pout, tucking her into my side, as I covered us both with a blanket. "Sleep Bella, there will be plenty of time for that later." I soothed, running my hands down her back.
"Fine, goodnight, Paul," she yawned, snuggling into my embrace.
I kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Beautiful." I whispered against her skin, her contented sigh making me smile.
Listening to her breathing even out; her slight snoring lulled me into a peaceful slumber.
