Hello my little bings! I have added some photos on my bio. One is Bella's apartment, and the dresses worn by Bella and Rose in Chapter one. Anywho, this is the good part of the story, well the beginning of the good parts. I would like to thank those who have added me as your favorite author or story. I have so much love for you all and we are only two chapters in. I have big plans in store! I hope you all enjoy...see you at the bottom
Sent and the Bing
Walking in the door of my empty apartment I felt drained. I have no reason to be but being here alone is sometimes too much. I can hear the music from my neighbors apartment softly through the walls. I stood by the front door for a few minutes before I closed it and walked inside setting my purse down and hanging my coat in the closet. I smooth down my dress and get a look of myself in the mirror.
The It-Girl. How did I become this. I had it all, I know I did. Without him I really am empty. For years I have thought of nothing but him. Don't get me wrong, I have been with men. I had a three year relationship with a man. Everytime we had sex I wished it was Edward. Everytime he held my hand, I wished it was Edward. For three years I pretended Riley was Edward.
Riley was sweet and kind. He took care of me, never knowing how I really felt. I tried to end it early, but he kept pulling me back. Telling me he couldn't live without me. Knowing how that felt, I couldn't just end it for him. For three years we lived happily ever after. Yeah….okay. We fought all the time. Just fighting about anything. I started it. I can admit that. I tried to start fights so he would leave me. But he always said he was sorry. That he would try harder. I ended up pregnant, he wanted the baby, and in a way I did to. I went to the doctors, but after falling ill, I lost the baby. I think that was the last straw for him. Two weeks after that he packed his bags and left. I came home to a note on the table saying "I'm sorry, but I can't be with you. How could I be with someone so broken." The problem was he was right. Who would want to be with someone so broken. I am broken in every sense of the word. Emotionally, physically, I was broken. I shake my head of those thoughts. Then Edward's beautiful face enters my mind.
My mind gets flooded with memories suddenly. I turn away from the mirror and sit back on my sill and remember the first time I spoke to him on the internet and giggle at my own innocence.
~June 22, 2005~
Sitting here waiting for someone to come on is frickin boring. I put on some music and sing along to Good Charlotte. All of a sudden the bing of someone coming online sounds. It's Angela. Angela and I have been friends for years. We've gone to school together since kindergarten and have been best friends since. Soon she pops up with a question….
Rockinchix2000: Hey Bells, Whatch ya up to?
Jadedprincess21: Not mucho, how about you?
Rockinchix2000: Not much talking to my cousin out in Cali.
Jadedprincess21: Cool. How's he doing?
Rockinchix2000: Good…I have an idea…
Jadedprincess21: Sounds bad….I'm in. whats the idea?
Rockinchix2000: Lets talk with him! In a group chat.
Jadedprincess21: How?
Rockinchix2000: I'll start it up.
Pianoman21 has entered the chat
Rockinchix2000: Edward this is my best friend Bella.
Pianoman21: Hello Bella.
Jadedprincess21: Heyz
Rockinchix2000: Edward here just had his heart broken by the biggest bitch in the whoooooollllle world!
Pianoman21: Angela come on. I'm sure Bella doesn't want the story.
Jadedprincess21: Really I don't mind. What happened?
Pianoman21: Sigh.. She cheated on me with my best friend.
Jadedprincess21: You're kidding right. WHATS HER PROBLEM? Your best fuckin friend can I come kick her ass?
Pianoman21: lol….nice offer I would take you up on it if you could.
Rockinchix2000: oh she could kick her ass
Pianoman21: I mean come here Angie.
Rockinchix2000: ahhh nvm
Jadedprincess21: don't tempt me.
Pianoman21: haha then get out here
Rockinchix2000: I g2g guys mom wants to talk….idk what I did wrong now but it didn't sound good.
Pianoman21: Better get out there before she flips.
Rockinchix2000: yep bye!
Jadedprincess21:see ya in the am
Pianoman21: Bye Angie
This session has ended because the host has left the chat
I closed out of the chat when another bing went off.
Pianoman21: Hey, I hope you don't mind I added you.
Jadedprincess21: no not at all whats up?
Pianoman21: Not much, talkin to you…..seems to be the highlight of my day.
Jadedprincess21: Well Im happy to help… seems to be that you are flirting with me
Pianoman21: Possibly, hard to flirt over the internet.
Jadedprincess21: well you're pretty good at it. :D
Pianoman21: :D Well glad I can be good at something you enjoy
Jadedprincess21: are you saying I enjoy your flirting
Pianoman21: Tell me you don't.
Jadedprincess21: *Sits in silence*
Pianoman21: Point proven
Jadedprincess21: well you enjoy flirting with me so :P
Pianoman21: Yes I do.
Jadedprincess21: wanna play a game?
Pianoman21: Like checkers?
Jadedprincess21: no questions, so we can get to know each other
Pianoman21: Sure you ask first
Jadedprincess21: Okay how old are you?
Pianoman21: 16 turning 17 in August
Jadedprincess21: im 15 fyi your turn
Pianoman21: Ok. Favorite color
Jadedprincess21: Purple. Favorite band
Pianoman21: Hard one….it's between The Used and AC/DC. What do you wanna do after graduation?
Jadedprincess21: I want to write, a book to be exact. Favorite Movie
Pianoman21: You'll laugh but Titanic
Jadedprincess21: OMG that's my favorite!
Pianoman21: Really?
Jadedprincess21: Yeah! It's fuckin awesome the love story is so deep. She never did let go of him. With that kind of love who could?
Pianoman21: Wow, that was really deep. Okay what do you like to do for fun?
Jadedprincess21: I like to go out with friends and hang out, get pizza, or a movie. What do you like in a girl
Pianoman21: I want a girl to be funny and not afraid to laugh at herself or me. I want her to be comfortable with me and be able to tell me anything. I want a girl who will stay by my side through the bad and love me no matter what.
Jadedprincess21: Edward, you are a romantic huh.
Pianoman21: Yeah I guess I am. What is your dream date?
Jadedprincess21: My dream date would be laying out under the stars listening to love songs with my head on his chest and wrapped in his arms while he sings with the music. Like no one would matter but us. I wanna be his it-girl.
Pianoman21: Us?
Jadedprincess21: I mean him and I….sorry
Pianoman21: No need to be sorry…
Jadedprincess21: okay….What's the bitch's name?
Pianoman21: Tayna.
Jadedprincess21: Tayna got it. She is on my shit list for life.
Pianoman21: Lol…I like you a lot Bella.
Jadedprincess21: I like you too Edward…a lot. Shoot Angie's calling I'll brb
Pianoman21: kk
25 minutes later
Pianoman21: Bella? Is everything okay?
Jadedprincess21: Angela is moving next week….. To Mississippi…
Pianoman21: Shit, are you serious?
Jadedprincess21: As a heart attack. I have to go Edward I'm sorry
Pianoman21: Okay look is you need anything let me know!
Jadedprincess21 has signed off
My best friend is moving all because her dad's job said he had to go there or they would fire him. I hate jobs! Don't they realize they are ruining someone's life? How am I gonna get through high school without my best friend? I hate this shit, life fuckin sucks…. The only good thing from today is Edward. Oh Edward. I've only seen pictures of him and always thought he was hot but to have him talk to me, even online, he is the dream guy. He is everything I want in a guy. If only he lived closer. Jesus help me. I think I'm falling for him in a matter of minutes. Wait… is that true love?
Present
I would later learn that it was true love. Staring out the window a tear falls from my eye. How did I ever let him go. I was so cruel. I never gave him a chance once shit got bad. I closed myself off the him. Something I regret so much now. I looked at the laptop. Trying to make up my mind, I already had so much regret, what could make it worse.
I pace back and forth looking between the clock, the floor, and the computer screen calling my name. I slowly walked over to it. "Here goes nothing." Opening up the computer and finding the email right where I left it, I hit the send button. The second I hit send I feared I shouldn't have. I wanted to take it back. Knowing I couldn't I sighed and walked to my bedroom put my robe on and took a bath.
Candles and soft music with a glass of wine. Hoping to relax I sunk down to my nose and listened to my heartbeat throughout the water. I was finally relaxing when memories flooded my mind again. The day Angie moved was rough on me, and Edward was there the whole time, sending texts to my phone. Making sure we were okay. I couldn't help but fall in love with him. I remember hugging Angela for the last time and telling her we'd talk later that tonight. Making plans to go down there once summer break came. Only summer break came, but there was never a trip. Angela and her parents were killed ten miles from their new home. A drunk driver blew through a red light and the car flipped.
They all died on impact. I was never the same after that. Soon death followed me everywhere. An aunt passing, or a cousin. I felt like no matter what I touched it would die. I became so enclosed that I stayed in my room after school, barely ate. The only person I would talk to openly was Edward. He took my bitch moods and made me smile. He could always make me smile. I could never be sad when he would talk to me.
After a year of talking online and on the phone we made a plan. He would come to see me.
Only that plan never worked. His mother didn't like someone taking her baby away, and after her sister dying in a car accident just a year before she didn't want him going to far. I know we are on different coasts with two different oceans but we were never far from each other.
Our hearts where already connected in a matter of a few weeks of talking. We grieved over losing Angela and it became a solid connection. One that I thought no one could break. But I was oh so wrong. Someone could break it, not his mom, not him, not God. The only person who could break something so perfect was me. I sat up quickly and closed my eyes remembering his face. His beautiful face smiling at me. I could hear his voice saying my name. Telling me he loved me and nothing could change that.
Suddenly there was a beep. The lobby was calling, but why so late?
I jumped up got my robe around me, threw my hair up in a towel, and ran to the phone. Only slipping once. I go to answer it only to find it wasn't the phone at all. I heard the beep again, only this time, it was a bing. I turned to my computer slowly. It was lit up like the fuckin Rockefeller's Christmas telling me I had mail. I sat down at the desk and brought one knee up under my chin staring at the screen, not believing my eyes.
Pianoman21 has signed on
I quickly signed out. I wasn't ready for this. Any of it. It was only minutes ago I had all the confidence in the world, but now I'm freaking out. I grab my cell phone and call Rose.
"Hello?" She was wide awake.
"I sent the email."
"And?"
"I have a new message in my inbox."
"Oh my God, open it!"
"I can't move Rose."
"I'll be there in twenty. Take deep breaths."
She hung up and when she open the door to the apartment, I was still sitting there. One leg propped up with my chin on my knee, the phone still in my hand up to my ear, and I couldn't stop staring. Nor could I begin moving. I did however hear Rose screaming my name just before I fell out of the chair out cold.
Spinning room. What happened? I looked around and found I was in my childhood home. Looking around I notice nothing has changed. I looked in the mirror that hung on the wall entering the living room and realized I was only seventeen. I touch my face through the mirror. I look so much younger for just a few years ago. Suddenly my father came in and gave me a weird look.
"Bells, what are you doing?"
"Nothing Daddy." I smile at him. I've missed him so much. I run and hug him.
"I missed you Daddy."
"Bells, I saw you this morning before school. Are you feeling okay." He feels my forehead with his lips. "No fever."
"No, I feel fine. Can't a girl miss her dad."
I release him from the hug and tell him I'll be in my room. Walking up the stairs laugh at how many times I had fallen down them. I open the door to my room, it's just how I remember it. I touch the dresser and run my finger over the photo of Angela and I. Looking at my first desk that still sits in my apartment today, I see my laptop. Opening it I hear the bing I missed so much.
Pianoman21: Bella? Are you there?
What am I suppose to say. Wait, if Dad is still alive, then I never ruined it. I never broke him. Smiling from ear to ear I write back.
Jadedprincess21: Hey Handsome
Pianoman21: Beautiful, I've missed you.
Jadedprincess21: I missed you more
Pianoman21: You know that is never possible my love.
Jadedprincess21: How was your day?
Pianoman21: Much better now. Yours?
Jadedprincess21: Amazing now. J
Pianoman21: Baby, I have something to tell you.
Jadedprincess21: that doesn't sound good
Pianoman21: It's great, I hope anyway…. What do you have planned next week?
Jadedprincess21: nothing…..why Edward?
Pianoman21: I will be there Monday morning.
Jadedprincess21: OMFG you're serious!
Pianoman21: I already spoke to you Dad and he agreed I will stay with you guys for the week and because it's summer you will be home.
Jadedprincess21: Edward, this is amazing. Face to face. After two years! OMG I'm in tears.
Pianoman21: I am to. The plane gets into Philadelphia Airport at 7 am. I'm already packed. Will you pick me up?
Jadedprincess21: I'll be there at 3! God this is amazing! I'm dreaming.
Pianoman21: Baby its true, and it's real, no dream.
So he thinks. We talk the night away before he and I say our good-byes. I watch the sun come up and finally lay down..
"God please, don't send me back to the real world. Just give me this week to relive the best week of my life. Please. Amen."
I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes reliving the week before it even happened.
Well well...a twist in our little story! What did you think? It will only get better from here. Remember this is a drama and a romance. But no Jacob. Sorry! Maybe soon though!
Much love, NYCitgirl
