Isn't Akainu an absolute asshole?...but he did give me an idea for this chap anyway....
Day 13
In the weeks that followed, I felt as though that joy and wonder that I had when I first entered Grand Line had evaporated like a mist under the sun.
The death of Roy and the others was a painful reminder to me that this was indeed the most dangerous sea in the world, and what happened to Roy can happen to all of us. I have to get stronger in order to survive.
We are headed for an island called Jaya, no one on the crew except for Goji and Cook knows much about it. What they do know is not much use. It's a pirate town, lawless and dangerous for most. There's also some story that Goji told me about some King of Liars called Norland who lied about finding a city of gold there.
Before, I would've eagerly taken in all the information, but now, I just can't find it in myself to care.
I spent most of time training with Roy's bisento and sparring with Goji to improve my skills and of course, to figure out my Devil Fruit power.
It was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten. Plus, Captain, Cook and Goji told me that I had to eat the entire fruit to gain the power when in fact I only had to take one bite. Everyone had a good laugh. It felt good to hear laughter again even if only for a brief moment.
It took me a few days to figure out how to use my powers. I found out how to by accident.
We were attacked by a Sea King, one of the biggest to attack us yet.
It just popped up right in front of us, its mouth big enough to swallow Willy and the entire crew. The sudden appearance caused most of us to panic and even Goji's flying slashes didn't seem to hurt it much. Captain was down in the infirmary still recovering from his wounds.
In panic, I just swung my fist out at the monster, though I was nowhere near it. To my surprise, an odd feeling flowed through my arm. It was something like a rumbling feeling. My arm looked steady, but I could feel my bones trembling as though I just lifted something really heavy, but without the fatigue.
When I finished the punching motion, at the point where my fist should have made contact, the rumbling feeling just gathered into that fist. To my surprise, the air in front of me cracked. Literally cracked, it was as though I was punching a mirror but the mirror didn't shatter.
Anyway, from that point, I noticed the air shimmering madly in front of me...like...like some sort of shockwave. It travelled quickly and spread out, catching some of my crewmates in it. When it reached the Sea King, the beast suddenly reeled back as though receiving a brutal hit. It collapsed and I saw that it was bleeding profusely.
Everyone was quiet for a moment and slowly turned to look at me with wide eyes. No one said anything until Goji, the new First-Mate I should add, barked out orders to tend to those crewmates who had been caught up in the shockwave while Cook and a few others proceeded to butcher the Sea King for its meat.
I'm glad to write here that my crewmates were alright. But they were badly wounded. Goji gave me an earful and yelled at me in private until...until...I'm ashamed to admit it, but he yelled at me until I was reduced to tears.
It wasn't because of the yelling. It was because of what he said in the yelling.
He said I could've killed them, he said I could've killed us all. There was some lecturing about using power responsibly and all that but it was the fact I could've killed everyone that broke me down. I just started crying right there and then.
I probably sound like I'm trying to save some dignity and I probably am, but I didn't bawl or anything like that. I just cried silently.
That seemed surprise Goji and he stopped shouting.
As if I wasn't already disgraced as it is, I started blubbering. I hate myself for writing this, but I feel that I have to.
I just told him that I didn't want to hurt anyone, that I just wanted to protect everyone else, that I didn't want to see what happened to Roy happen to anyone else and I just didn't want what happened to my family to happen to them.
That last part got Goji's attention.
In his usual gruff manner, he asked me to explain what I meant by that.
This is what I told him.
I was born into a rich family on a small island. My family did some sort of business which involved trading with other islands and it made us rich. My father was a strict man who was rather aloof with me while my mother did her best to fill that void. I had a decent life, better than most at any rate.
I was always interested in being a marine and it was of the few things in which my father, Edward Newlife openly approved of. So he had me trained with local militia to toughen me up. My mother, Moira, wasn't too happy about it. She wanted me to go into the family business with father and was worried I would be killed in battle. She also said that I should do things that make me happy, not do them to earn my father's approval. I supposed she was right, but I really did want to be a marine. So in the end, my mother acquiesced. So from the moment I turned eleven, I joined the local militia to begin my training before I was old enough to join the marines stationed at my home. Training was tough, but I enjoyed it and I was allowed to go home every few weeks to visit mother and father. Mom made sure I did.
Then, a year before my eighteenth birthday, before I could join the marines, my father fell ill. Business was in trouble and mother had trouble running things. I went home to set things in order. I did pretty well filling in for father and held the fort for nearly the year.
When father recovered, mother told him everything and that was one of the few times my father told me face to face that he was proud of me. I've never been happier. I didn't know at the time it would be the last time he'd ever say that to me.
He suddenly warned me not join the marines and before I could ask why, someone barged into the room. It was the head of the marines stationed at my home and his best guards.
In the confrontation that followed, I found out that the marines had been demanding a bribe from my father the year before. They wanted half the profits from my father's business. My father refused, claiming that to do so would mean that many of his workers would have to take pay cuts. The officer had not been pleased, seeing that the "protection fee" as he calls it, should be paid to the marines who kept them safe.
What a laugh, we had the militia to protect us and the threat of pirates around my home was really low.
The officer then stated that he was seizing my father's business under suspicion of smuggling. My father was outraged and was shot in the head. The officer said that was for "obstructing justice".
In blind fury, I struck down the officer and his guards.
My mother told me to run before the other marines got there. She told me to leave and never return for my own safety. I begged her to come with me but...she said that she would stay to protect me.
That's how I ended up being a pirate.
I became one because I failed to become a marine; I failed to become a marine for killing several marine officers and I killed them because I failed to protect my father, my family.
Just like I had failed to protect Roy.
I am nothing but a failure.
Goji looked almost sympathetic after hearing my story.
Almost.
He knocked me on the head with his scabbard and told me that if I really wanted to protect the people I cared about I should stop crying and just try to get stronger and get my Devil Fruit power under control.
Most people would probably call that harsh treatment.
But I think that Goji probably understood how I felt better than anyone else.
Anyway, it's been a week since that happened and I've figured out more or less how to control my power.
Captain is also getting better from resting.
Things are starting to look up again.
Next chap coming soon....
