Chapter 6

I had eaten so fast that Edward was worried I'd choke on my food but now that the idea of visiting where Jacob's body was resting was too good to be true. I didn't get the chance often to do what I wanted, especially when it came to Jacob. I had missed the funeral, did not get a chance to touch his hand and whisper my love and apologies to him while he laid in his coffin. I would never get this chance again and for Edward to offer to take me there…it was beautiful.

How can I love him and hate him and fear him all at the same time?

But now that I was ready to go and looked at Edward, I saw heavy worry there in his face.

"Edward?", I bent my head down a bit to look into those lovely fire-gold pupils of his, "Are you alright?"

"Yes.", he picked up the keys to his Volvo off the hook on the wall, licking his lips so fast I'd almost missed it.

"I'm just thinking…", he said as if he were afraid of someone else hearing him, "This is a big risk…to you. What if I—what if I do something else to hurt you there? What if I lose control when I see you talking to him?"

He looked absolutely tormented.

I took his hand that was holding the keys and made him look at me.

"Edward.", I said firmly, being brave, "I thought about that. How could I not? I know this is a big risk. But I'm taking it. I can't live my life in fear this way. I need to stand up to…him."

"Bella, he'll kill you.", Edward pleaded with his eyes.

"He might.", I said without fear, giving him a little smile, "But I'm going anyway. And listen…if he ever does…hurt me that way…I want to tell you something. It is NOT your fault. I don't want you going on forever blaming yourself for this, okay? I LOVE YOU. That will never change…or end. Got it Cullen?"

I tried to make him smile but he didn't. Giving him a little playful shove, he went through the door that led to the garage.

They were still all here. Carlisle's black BMW, Emmett's jeep, Alice's yellow Porsche, every one of the cars all of the Cullens owned. I got a lump in my throat. If they had simply left and were alive, they would have their cars at least. Edward opened my car door, ever the gentleman, not paying attention to what I was seeing here.

I remembered Edward's distress when I asked him about his family or mine. Maybe he truly didn't know what the other demented side of him did to them. Maybe he had to block it out to protect his little piece of sanity. One thing was certain. If I was to find out the fates of all the people I loved, it would have to come from the other Edward. That made my skin go fish cold.

Edward was starting the car and the garage door opened. We were off like a rocket and I held on tight, forgetting the speed demon in my tender hearted vampire. Or maybe he just sensed that we didn't have much time.

He looked terrible as he drove. Still afraid for me, still afraid of the psycho that lived inside him.

I wanted to ask him what he's thinking but I decided not to. I tried to think back to the last time I saw the Cullens. It was not a favorite of mine but my brain went there anyway. Is every memory of mine a heart ache now?

The first time Edward hit me was the night I had decided to give myself to Jacob. We had waited about a year after our first date. Edward was still very much a part of our lives. He constantly bothered Jacob. It seems the sadness I made him feel had turned to anger at him, not me.

Among the things Edward did to make Jake's life more fun were: slashing his tires, playing with his car brakes, painting lots of fun words on Jake's car and house – words I didn't even realize Edward knew. He even messed with Billy Black. So many times his wheelchair would be missing or broken. Once he was sitting in it and hit the button to move forward slowly – the thing went at full speed and smashed him face and knees first into the wall, cracking it…and causing broken bones to Jacob's father.

Jake's college applications kept "getting lost in the mail" when he sent them out. Also, Jacob couldn't get a job anywhere in the town of Forks. Finally, one storekeeper leveled with him and said there is someone who is spreading bad rumors about him. Every businessman in Forks thought Jacob to be a drug addict and a thief. I heard a nasty story from some ladies at the hair cuttery that Jacob molested a child.

There were lots of other things but those were just the highlights at first. Maybe Edward thought it would make Jake get tired of it and leave me. But he didn't. He said it would take more than that to take me from him. And I believed him.

Of course, I would call Edward and raise Hell. But Edward would deny everything and he would get so nasty back. He could yell louder than me and his insults were far more brutal than mine. Every time I hung up, I'd be crying and near hysterical.

Soon, I just stopped calling Edward altogether and Jake and I counted the days until he graduated high school and we could leave Forks forever. Jacob was also very worried to leave his father alone, afraid Edward would torment him if we were gone. Edward was basically ruling our lives now.

I finally did get to talk with Alice from time to time. But she couldn't do anything about his behavior any more than I could and soon, it seemed like all I talked to her about was how rotten Edward was. With time, I didn't talk to her either. But on my birthdays and special occasions, I always got a nice card from her. And also, I noticed that nothing bad would happen to Jacob on those same days, either.

The night I planned to be with Jacob I was still a virgin. He said he was too. Charlie was working overnight and I had worked all day to make my bedroom romance central. Red silk over the lamps, new sexy sheets made of satin, black in color. I bought a little teddy from Victoria's secret over the internet, it was red, too, Jake's favorite color. It fit nicely, it pushed my little breasts together and made cleavage ! I was thrilled. My butt cheeks showed just a little bit. Sexy but not sleazy, at least, not to me.

Edward was on my mind only for one reason. He would try to ruin this for us. I almost called Alice and asked her to take him hunting, but I chickened out. Part of me said, 'He would not do that to you, Bella.'

But I scoffed at myself right away.

Edward wasn't the same anymore. He was cruel. He seemed to hate me now. But then he would still ask to come back to me. When I would say no, he attacked…verbally. I still had not laid eyes on him since the night we broke up. Now the thought of seeing him scared me. And I wasn't sure why. I didn't want to hate him. But I was really angry with him now.

Jacob knocked on the door and I put my long pink terrycloth robe on. I wanted him to think that I was all frumpy and then, once in my room, I'd take the robe off and wow him. I couldn't wait to see his face. I switched my CD player on and my soundtrack to Somewhere in Time softly danced into the air. I loved this music and knew it would be perfect for us tonight.

When I opened the door, I saw roses right away. I almost flinched, thinking of the rose Edward had given me that first time. There had been lots of those same crimson rosebuds on my windowsill since that night. I didn't keep them, though. I had gotten used to tossing them out of my window and into the back yard. I didn't want to be cruel to Edward, but after all he'd done to us in the last year, it's the way I felt. My window was closed now always.

But it was Jacob, and his roses were full bloomed and bright red, healthy and alive, with baby's breath mixed in. The smile I gave him was true and returned completely. His hair was very long again and I loved it that way. It mesmerized me. I was always playing with it or brushing it. Maybe because it made Jake seem so much different from Edward. Whatever the reason, Jake kept his hair long for me, he knew how I adored it.

He was a cross between rock star and Navajo warrior for me. And his eyes…God, his eyes.

Right now it was the colgate smile I was being dazzled by, as I called it. His teeth were so perfect and white…you could almost see them sparkle when he smiled big like right now.

"Aww Jake!", I gushed, taking the flowers from him, "What did you do?"

I smelled them as he came in, my other hand taking his.

"I got roses for my girl.", he shrugged, "What's the big deal ?"

"They're so expensive, though.", I whined, feeling guilty. No one would give Jacob work still. He had to pretend to be someone else, fixing cars part time to earn six dollars an hour.

"Nothing but the best for my Bella.", he leaned in a little, letting me have the choice to kiss him back if I wanted.

I took it. I grabbed that long soft hair and pulled him to me, laying a humongous kiss on those perfect wet lips of his. He tasted like orange soda and Doritos but I didn't care. I loved Jacob, flaws and all.

"Nice mouthwash.", I teased afterwards.

"Yea, yea…", he smirked and I felt instantly warm inside, "I thought we were going out."

I smiled to myself as I filled a vase with water in the kitchen.

"Nah.", I sighed, "I don't feel so good. I think I'm coming down with the flu or something."

"Euuwww.." he wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "Thanks for telling me before licking every inch of the inside of my mouth!"

I had to laugh, I couldn't help it. I blew my act but he was so cute.

"Germ-o-phobe.", I took his hand now that his roses were in the vase water, "Come up and take care of me."

He came without complaint. I think once we were inside my bedroom he got the hint. The music, the sheets…the red light. The only thing missing was a big neon sign over my bed saying, "Bella wants you !"

Before he could say anything, I was kissing him harder than before. Wrapping my hands in that to die for hair, I pressed my breasts against him and kissed him savagely…so full of need for him. I was sure about this. Edward wasn't in my heart that way anymore. Jake had been so patient with me. We both deserved this. It was time.

I kept kissing him and let go of that sinful hair, undoing my robe belt and letting it fall to the floor at my feet.

Jake's eyes bugged out a bit and I heard him mutter against my kissing lips, "Shit, Bella."

Then he let his hands touch my back and I heard "Jesus…you're SO beautiful."

"So are you.", I opened my mouth and full on French kissed him, taking his hands and laying them on my breasts.

"Oh my God.", he growled in his throat, his eyes a little wet as he looked into mine.

"Bella…", he whispered, "Are you sure?"

"Very sure.", I said without question, "I am yours Jacob. Completely."

We kissed each other again, as if we needed each other more than air. It got a little rough but I loved it. Jacob could be rough with me and not break my bones. This was exciting. There was no fear. Just lust…and love.

My mind wasn't working now, my body was just feeling all the wonderful sensations. Jacob's tongue on my lips, his teeth taking a little nibble on my bottom lip. So hot.

I was biting Jacob's neck and sucking, unaware of what that meant at the time. He never knew Edward was a vampire. I would never break that trust.

"Oh FUCK !", he exclaimed loudly, obviously liking this.

"I want you Jacob.", I panted.

"You've GOT me Baby.", he purred in response.

Then I heard a terrible roar. It shook the whole house, like an earthquake. A man's voice screaming in excruciating pain. Then everything stopped.

I opened my eyes and found myself laying in bed. Still in the teddy. I heard Jacob's breathing. It was labored. He was struggling.

"Don't hurt her!", I heard Jake's voice snarl.

I looked and sat up. Jacob was sitting in my computer chair, and his hands were bound behind him. He had a black eye and his mouth was bleeding. And next to him, stood Edward.

He didn't say anything but the way he looked at me. I felt like a diseased prostitute under his glance.

I closed the robe with my hand, trembling. I was frozen in place. This was the first time I saw Edward in over a year. He was still flawlessly beautiful, eyes still butterscotch – that's good –but something in his eyes…was evil…calm but terrible.

"I didn't want you to miss this.", Edward turned his back to me and took something off the dresser behind him. When he turned back to me, he had a big pair of silver scissors in his hand.

Jacob tried to stand up, he nearly did, but Edward shoved him down hard with one hand, his strength too much for Jake to fight.

"Please don't hurt him Edward !", I stood and was ready to launch myself at the vampire but he put the open scissors to Jacob's throat.

"Sit down!", he ordered me, a growl following his words. His eyes looked at me with hate and distaste.

I plopped back down on the bed, shivering, watching his every move with those scissors.

He grabbed a long hunk of Jacob's hair and snipped it off very close to his scalp. I felt my stomach fall to the pit of my body. He yanked at Jake's hair, cutting without care, throwing the jagged locks into Jacob's lap as he worked.

I was crying and Edward ignored that. Jake struggled angrily, but held still when Edward said, "Keep it up, you can watch me shave Bella's head next."

"Oh God…", I wept as I watched this horrible scene play out. Edward was demented looking, chopping away.

"Please stop Edward, please!", I cried, my hands over my mouth as I sobbed harder.

It didn't matter, he wouldn't make Jake ugly to me, no matter what he did. But I felt my heart break for Jacob. His beautiful hair. This was the first physical attack Edward made to Jacob and it was awful. I had to wonder what he'd do next.

All I could do was cry. Jake was nearly bald now, chunks of hair here and there sticking out.

"Much better.", Edward stabbed the scissors halfway into the dresser, liking his work.

Dusting his hands off on each other, Edward smirked at Jacob, turning the chair towards him so he could see the hurt in his victim's eyes.

My legs were shaking so hard, I knew it was visible to both Edward and Jacob.

"There.", Edward lifted Jake's face up roughly, "Less is more."

"Fine, you got me.", Jake said through gritted teeth, "Now go!"

Edward laughed and it sounded so insane.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jacob, don't you get that yet?", Edward asked playfully, spinning the computer chair, making Jake go around and around.

"I'll always be here because Bella is mine!", he shoved Jacob's chair down as it spun and he crashed to the wooden floor, grunting as his face struck the surface.

"No one will have her but me.", he informed, "If I have to I'll use those scissors to make CERTAIN you'll never be inside her."

"Edward, no !", I begged and then he turned to me.

"And you.", he looked me over and frowned in disgust, "Look at you!"

He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me to my feet as I yelped out in pain and fear.

I was standing in front of him and he forced me to look into my full length mirror.

Hand still in my hair, his other hand yanked the robe down and off my body.

I tried to wrap my arms around myself but he stopped me.

"No, don't !", he sneered, "We all want to see what a whore you've become!"

I closed my eyes and heard his voice stab into my ear, "RED – what a slut you are!"

He yanked at the lacy fabric and I struggled as I heard it rip off my body. I felt the breeze from the window on my flesh and I screamed out, hearing Jacob shouting and growling profanities at Edward.

I couldn't look but I knew I was nude. I was quivering all over so hard, I felt like I might actually pass out or throw up, either one.

He shook my head by my hair and said, "Open your eyes !"

I did and winced at my nakedness. My hands tried to move to my hair to free myself but I knew I didn't have a chance to stop him.

"Stop IT !", he shook my head again, "Hands down!"

I obeyed and hoped he would just leave now. I prayed for it. Who was this monster ? What had happened to Edward?

"Make up.", he scowled at my reflection, disapproving of my eyeliner and lipstick.

His other hand came up and with some of the torn teddy in his fingers, he wiped my eyes and lips and face without care or patience.

I let out another scream, it was hurting me and pissing me off at the same time.

I could see a peek of myself when he took the lace away. My eyes were huge black holes smeared and ugly, my mouth a red messy smudge. I looked dead, like a zombie.

"OW!", I squealed, struggling again, "You're HURTING ME!"

"GOOD!", he shoved me into the bathroom, pushing my cheek hard against the mirror over the sink, not enough to break the glass, just enough to be a bit painful, "Wash your face – WASH IT !"

He let go of my hair but stood right behind me as I hurried to turn on the faucet and lather the bar of soap in my hands, scrubbing quickly. Some of the soap went into my eyes and I hissed at the sting and blindness they caused.

"Good enough!", he grabbed me by the hair again and brought me back into my bedroom, the water still running in the bathroom sink.

"Excuse us, Jacob.", Edward taunted as he stepped us over him as he laid on the floor, still bound to the chair.

"Put that fucking robe back on!", he shoved me so hard I fell but I still scurried to get the robe on, glad I wasn't naked in front of him anymore.

"Leave her alone, you FUCK!", Jacob roared from where he was.

But Edward kicked him in the stomach – hard. I screamed, knowing how much strength Edward had over Jake. I flew to them and leapt onto Edward's back, about to punch it, but before I could, he spun around and backhanded me across the face. It felt like my whole cheek split open as I landed with a thud on the floor again.

"Bella !", Jacob growled, trying to get up onto his knees even though his arms were trapped behind him.

Edward turned to him again and kicked once more, sending Jacob down hard.

I didn't hear Jacob after that.

"Good idea, take a nap.", Edward said darkly to the silent boy, coming back over to get me.

"NO!", I put my hands up, trying to shield myself, "NO !"

"Oh, yes.", he answered calmly, almost smiling, throwing me onto the bed on my back.

I grunted with an angry throat as he straddled me, my robe still tied closed as I struggled.

"Let me see.", he touched my cheek that took the blow. It hurt so bad I cried out.

"You're fine.", he said dismissively, "It'll be a nice bruise. I didn't hit you THAT hard."

"Rrrrrr!", I kept struggling, trying to get him off me as he looked down, unaffected by my little hissy fit.

"GET OFF ME !", I screamed.

"Mmmm…", he moved his hands over my robe where my breasts were, "Later."

"No, Edward, NO!", I cried and pleaded, "Please no ! GET OFF !"

"Shhh…", he cooed, opening my robe, "Be a good girl."

His cold fingers were groping both my breasts as I whimpered, moving my legs underneath him in vein.

Then I heard a very stern voice from the corner shout, "EDWARD CULLEN!"

I turned and saw Carlisle at the window. My hope skyrocketed.

"Carlisle !", I screamed, struggling harder, "Carlisle, HELP ME PLEASE !"

Edward clamped his hand over my mouth as I sobbed into it. My eyes stared at Carlisle, pleading for rescue.

"Edward, what the HELL are you doing ?", Carlisle was in the room now, afraid to move too soon in fear I'd be hurt in the battle.

"Fuck off, Carlisle.", Edward growled menacingly low, "She's mine."

"It's not going to happen Edward.", Carlisle was deadly and unmoving, "Let her go."

Edward ignored his father and bent down, taking a long huge lick up my entire neck as I cried out again, kicking my legs uselessly.

"Don't Edward.", Carlisle warned, "Son…you're very sick. Please…I know you don't want to harm Bella. Look at her…look what you're doing to her."

"She was going to FUCK that KID !", he cried out without tears, in agony, "What was I supposed to do, just sit and watch ?"

"Edward…", he held his hands at his sides, opened, "I'm coming over and I'm going to help you get up and come home with me."

"Stay BACK !", he bared his teeth like an animal and I was paralyzed with fright.

"I'll bite her, I swear to GOD I will!", he threatened.

"GOT HIM !", Emmett's voice darted out from behind Edward and I saw his arm was around Edward's throat, holding him securely as he fought back. But Emmett was stronger, bigger.

"Come here, Bella.", Carlisle reached out to me and I saw that Edward's hands were busy on Emmett's arm so I slipped my body out from between his legs and scurried to Dr. Cullen as fast as I could.

He was holding me tight, stroking my hair as I cried in relief.

"Bella !", Edward was roaring my name, angry that I had gotten away for now.

"Take him home, Emmett.", Carlisle said as Jasper and Alice came crawling through the window Carlisle had come from. They had thick silver chains around their arms, coiled up.

"BELLA !", Edward struggled as Alice and Jasper wrapped the chains several times around his ankles and around his wrists behind him, huge padlocks clicking in place to secure him as he raged and protested.

"IT BURNS !", he howled, "CARLISLE !"

"It's alright.", Carlisle assured me, "It just hurts but it will do no damage to him. It's only until we get him home."

"Easy, Edward.", Jasper tried to comfort his brother but Edward was not having any of it.

They were about to take Edward out the other window, Alice was freeing Jacob from the ropes around his wrists.

"Carlisle, can you please check Jacob?", I cried, "Edward really kicked him in the stomach."

But Carlisle was already on the job, carrying Jake to the bed and laying him on his back gently.

"Bella !", Edward was resisting his brothers' efforts to get him out the window.

I looked at him, not able to hide my anger as he spoke to me.

"I'm not done with you, Bella.", he said with a low deadly voice, and evil eyes, "Just know that. You're never going to be rid of me. We are forever. Everywhere you go, I'm watching you. Every thing you love, I can take from you. This isn't over. This is just the beginning. Nothing can keep me from you."

"Get him out of here!", Carlisle shouted at his other sons.

"Sleep tight, Bella.", Edward smiled before they forced him out.

"Bella?", Edward was calling my name gently, breaking me out of my haze.

"Yea?", I focused and saw we were parked a few feet away from the burial plot.

"We're here.", he informed.

I looked and saw a mound of dirt under a large oak tree. It provided peaceful shade, the sun streaming over the spot in lovely rays. I felt tears in my eyes, thinking Jake would like this resting place.

I got out of the car on my own. Edward rolled down his window as I came around.

"Go on, I'll drive around and come back in a little while."

I nodded, thankful for his kindness in letting me be completely alone with my Jacob.

See next chapter soon !

More darkward coming soon !