Chapter 8

I struggled to put my clothes back on in the Cullen driveway. As fast as I could, I felt his eyes on me, even if I couldn't SEE him watching.

I got in the truck and turned the key. The engine tried to start…and failed.

I let out a sob and turned, looking at the house. Nothing. I slammed the button down to lock my door and wiped my right eye.

"Come on you !", I threatened my truck, taking a breath and turning the key again.

It began to start…then chugged noisily…the truck shook harder…and the engine conked out again. I could just see Edward watching, laughing at my predicament.

One more try and if you don't fucking start – it's the junk yard for you. Now COME ON !

I turned the key a third time, praying. I would not go back in that house. I'd walk home first.

"Please.", I whispered, hearing the engine purr, behaving itself. The truck vibrated like it normally did…I waited. The engine was ALIVE !

"Now get us the FUCK out of HERE !", I screamed aloud to my truck, setting the gear to reverse.

Once I was off Cullen property, the fear sank in harder. I was sobbing at the top of my lungs while driving on the highway. It was a little busy, since it was a Saturday afternoon. My brain told me to calm down. First, I couldn't see for shit. My tears blinded me. Second, this is a small town. If even one person saw me bawling and screaming in my car, the whole town would know it and have their own versions of the story to tell. Charlie would find out.

Then I thought to myself. What would Charlie say ? What about Jake? They would both approach Edward. Charlie would want him arrested for sure. Jake would want blood. He might even come find Edward, half healed, for a fight. How would I explain to him that I came to Edward's all on my own when he was supposed to be committed somewhere in the hospital? But then what about the Cullens? Charlie would want to bring Edward in, question him about what happened to his family. I used to know that Edward was safe and wouldn't harm anyone. I didn't know that anymore.

I could not tell anyone about this. I thought of the Denali family but I had no idea how to get in touch with them or even where they lived exactly. I never listened much when they were mentioned. All I heard was the name Tanya and I would go into a jealous frenzy.

DAMN !

I couldn't go home, not like this. I held in my crying but it was still happening, deep in the pit of my chest. I turned up the volume on my radio, hoping no one in town would hear me or notice me while I passed through.

I thought of who I could go to, just to take a shower and maybe get some new clothes. I felt soiled and tired and my body throbbed with pain, especially my ass.

Going to the only place I knew of, I knocked on the red door, trying to control my shaking.

"Bella.", a woman's voice said as the door opened.

"Hi Mrs. Newton, is Mike home?", I asked meekly, hardly able to look her in the eye.

"Yes, come in," she frowned, knowing I wasn't alright, "What happened to you?"

I looked down at my hands and arms. They were all scratched up, dry blood painted dark brown lines all over my ivory skin. I knew my face had taken some impact when I fell outside Edward's house but I wasn't sure how bad it looked.

"I was changing my tire and slipped.", I lied…and I lied badly. That made no sense at all. But that was my story and I was sticking to it.

"Mike !", she called up the stairs and I kinda hated that I'd have to ask Mike Newton for help. But I didn't know of anyone else who would keep their trap shut. He was kind of my boss, so…what the hell?

"Come here," Mrs. Newton said, a fresh washcloth in her hand. She ran warm water over it in her kitchen sink and gently put it against my bottom lip. I felt a burning that shot right through me and I gasped.

Long story short, I asked Mike if I could take a shower and get some clothes, a t shirt and sweatpants would be fine. He agreed, giving me anything I wanted. I got band aids and Neosporin too, along with a warmed up lunch. It turns out it was around 4pm when I got to the Newton house. I had gotten at Edward's around 1. So he had me there for about three hours! God !

I only let myself break down once, when I was in the shower. I scrubbed myself raw to get the dirt off myself. They had glass doors on their shower and the water looked like sparkles…like Edward's skin. I had to turn away from the doors while I finished.

My body was a mess. When I got out of the shower, I got a peek at my backside. It was covered with purple and dark red welts and bruises. My forearms had angry light brown fingerprints where Edward had grabbed me. Great, July and I'll have to go around with long sleeves now. And my face…my bottom lip was swollen and black around the edges and there were hot little dots all over the area under my left eye.

"Fuck.", I breathed, an angry sound.

The first thing I felt was total rage. I wanted Edward's ass. If I ever become a newborn, he has a definite ass whipping coming his way.

"Mike, I need one more favor.", I said when we were alone in his kitchen while I ate baked ziti.

"I need you to go with the story that I fell and got hurt at work today.", I looked him in the eye, showing him I was serious, "I can't tell you why but please."

"Sure Bella.", he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and before I knew it, I had shoved him arm off.

"I'm sorry Mike.", I sighed, "It's not you."

"Okay.", he looked a little hurt, "Are you alright?"

"Not really.", I admitted, picking at my food, "But I'll be fine. Thanks again."

So that was the way it went. I told Jake that I climbed up the ladder at work to get a tent and fell off accidentally. That sounded just like me so no one doubted my little tale. I hid the bruises on my arms from everyone all the time. I couldn't explain that away. I took care of Jake during the day, since it was summertime it didn't interfere with classes or anything. Jake didn't really need me to take care of him anymore, he was on his feet and pretty much doing everything for himself. But the truth was, I felt safer with Jake.

Edward was free and able to anything he wanted. All I could do is wait around for him to make his next move.

There was no more nights with Jake where I wore make up and teddies. I decided we couldn't do that again. Edward would hurt Jake more than just cutting his hair off next time. Next time, it might be his fingers or toes. I had nightmares all the time about it.

Sometimes Jake would start kissing me real heavily and touch me and I would pull away, trembling everywhere, crying, telling him we couldn't. Jake would tell me Edward is gone, he's locked up, he can't hurt us anymore. But I knew better.

I started blowing Jake off more and more as time went by. I was putting him in danger and I hated it. Being around him all the time, I wanted him so badly. And it hurt when I knew we couldn't make love. Edward ruled us again…still.

I agonized over where the Cullens went. Did he kill them? They wouldn't have just left, not with Edward being so sick, needing them now. I kept seeing Carlisle's face in my dreams, covered with blood, even though he is a vampire, and he was apologizing for failing me.

Charlie was working all the time and even when he was around, he didn't say much. We ate dinner in silence now and then and I was thankful for that.

I kept ignoring Renee's emails. I was never in the mood to write her. To even type the words 'everything's fine' would be too hard for me. I once told Mom everything. Now I had this terrible secret and it was eating me alive inside out.

The end of August came slowly and I was glad to have paperwork to fill out for my September classes at Forks Community College. Jake would be a junior in the fall at the Reservation Quiliette school. Two years until we could leave Forks. I sighed, knowing how fast Edward could destroy us. And he had plenty of time. I was trapped.

I tried to figure a way out. I almost wrote Edward a letter but quickly decided against it. I didn't want to call him either. He was most cruel over the phone. I remembered when Edward told me I could always call him, even if I were standing in my own kitchen. But how did I know that he wouldn't hurt me again? I didn't. He could hurt me anytime, anywhere, if he chose to.

I couldn't call to him. If he came to me, then I would have no choice but to deal with him, but I would not invite him to come and hurt me.

Labor day weekend came and Charlie wanted me to go with him to the annual celebration the town held. I really didn't want to go out much anymore but all the police were brining their families. I didn't want it to seem like Charlie didn't have family. He had gone a long time without any before I moved in with him.

I was so bored, sitting around in my t shirt and shorts on the float for the Police Department. It slowly dragged down Main Street and Charlie kept nudging me with his elbow to keep waving at all the people we passed by.

"This blows, Dad.", I grumbled, doing my Queen of England wave, mockingly.

"Smile.", he grumbled back, putting on his fakest smile, waving enthusiastically.

I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself at what a cornball my Dad was…and then I caught a blur of dark red in the crowd.

I looked into the people lined up along the street, paying more attention this time.

And I saw him.

Edward. Standing there, composed, staring at me. He wore a blue t shirt and a white open short sleeved one over it and on his head was perched a pair of sunglasses. He looked like everyone else here, just hanging out, enjoying the parade. But I felt my air supply cut off. Even on a float with 50 cops on it, I wasn't safe.

I stood up and my father looked at me as if I'd lost my mind.

"Bella!", he looked concerned.

"I have to go to the bathroom!", I lied, using that old favorite once more, and leapt off the back of the float, running around the float behind us and going right into the crowd across the street from where Edward had been standing.

I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going, but I was running hard.

After that, I was always running.

Everywhere I went, I saw him, standing there, watching me. At the food store, at the post office, at the college, even at the police station. He didn't speak to me, he just stared…and slowly followed me a few feet behind. When my classes started, he would be outside the window, watching me very closely. It made it impossible to concentrate. Once, the instructor asked me a question and I had no idea what he was talking about. The class laughed at me. And so did Edward.

Jacob called almost every day but I always told him I had to study. That was the truth. I was so behind in my classes. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't THINK. I failed tests. My papers were never good enough for my teachers. Edward was suffocating my life.

Every night I dreamt Edward came back to get me and finally finish me off. I didn't know which dream was worse, him raping me…or him killing me. And even worse, him changing me. I once wanted that more than anything, to be his forever 100,000 years from now and beyond. Now the thought terrified me. To be his, as a vampire, trapped for all eternity as everyone I knew grew old and died. The thought made me wake up in a cold sweat, shouting.

One night I guess I was tossing and turning in my sleep, having a bad dream. I struggled under my covers and in the darkness I felt fingers stroking my hair, a loving caress.

"Shhh.", his voice soothed, and he began to hum my lullaby.

When I realized it was real and not a dream, my eyes flew open and I saw him looking at me, eye level as he knelt on the floor at my bedside.

Before I decided to, I screamed and his hand pressed over my lips, effectively silencing me.

I still tried to scream and fight but he was stronger.

"Shhh….shhhh….shhhh.", he sat on the bed next to me and didn't release my mouth.

I heard myself crying, pleading as my fists pressed uselessly against his chest.

He ignored my shouts of "No, NO !" through his palm and spoke softly to me.

"Bella, no.", he looked sad, "Don't be afraid of me, please, you can hate me but don't be afraid of me. You were never afraid of me."

"I won't hurt you, I swear.", he stroked my hair with his other hand, "I just had to see you. You were having a nightmare."

Charlie was not home tonight. I was screwed and I knew it.

"Mmmmm!", I could only yell as his hand pressed harder against my mouth.

"Bella…", he sounded sad and disappointed that I was so afraid.

"Alright, I'm going to take my hand off.", he notified me, "Will that make it better?"

I quaked all over and nodded a couple times. I felt my chest rising and falling deeply as I struggled to breathe.

He took his hand away and stroked my cheek as if I were the most precious creature he'd ever laid eyes on.

I didn't scream…yet. Staring up at his face, I just waited for what he wanted before I let loose with my barbaric YAWP.

"There.", he smiled down at me, glad I wasn't yelling. He kissed my hand and let out a deep breath, "That's better, isn't it?"

I just nodded like a mute, paralyzed with fear.

"I saw you started school.", he said, "That makes me very happy. How are you enjoying it?"

I just frowned back at him.

"What do you want?" I asked with a shaky, coarse voice.

"Please don't be like that, Bella.", he said kindly, "I just want to talk to you. We never talk anymore. Please?"

"You've been stalking me.", I breathed, wishing I was tougher, "I see you everywhere I go. I'm failing my classes because of you!"

"I'm not stalking, Bella," he kept his sweet voice, "I'm just watching over you. It's all I have left now."

"What do I have left?", I felt a tear trickle out of my right eye, "I can't even see Jacob because I'm so afraid of what you'll do to him next!"

He frowned.

"I never said you couldn't SEE Jacob, I just said no one else will ever have you.", he pointed out.

"That's not your choice to make, it's MINE!" I liked the way I sounded now…fierce.

"Please don't yell, Bella.", he begged with his eyes, "If HE wakes up, well…it won't be good."

"Who?", I was confused, "Charlie's not here."

Great, Bella, tell him that.

Edward looked sick to his stomach.

"Just…shhh…please…", Edward leaned in and placed a small kiss on my lips.

Then another small kiss…a little longer than the first.

"Edward…", I said in a little voice, knowing where this was going.

"You have the most perfect mouth.", he whispered, kissing me again, as if he had to.

His hands were on my cheeks, then tightened in my hair. He was really kissing me harder now…the passion getting more and more intense.

"Please stop Edward…", I whimpered, "This is what happened last time…"

But he cut me off with another kiss, this one a bit rougher. I was panting for air when he released me from it.

"You are NOT going to attack me again.", I said through gritted teeth, and his eyes registered in understanding. He backed away from me then…sitting on my floor, his hands yanking at his hair.

I was glad he moved away from me but not happy enough to see him suffering this way. He started punching himself in the head on both sides, harder each time. It sounded like rocks hitting rock.

"Stop!", I frowned, getting out of the bed, standing up but not getting too close to him. I hated it that I was wearing a tank top, no bra, and little pajama shorts but I was in my own bed after all.

I looked around my dark room, wondering what I could say or do.

"Bella, if I asked you to do something for me…", he breathed, then looked up at me with his bright golden eyes, "Would you?"

I was afraid to wonder what he wanted now. I pictured myself performing a strip tease for him.

"What do you want?", I shivered as I waited, my arms around myself.

"Would you…", he looked down, then back up at me…."Would you please kill me?"

My mouth fell open as he stared at me.

"I know you can do it.", he went on, "You're brave. I've seen that. And I wouldn't fight you, at all. I swear. I have the chains back at my place, those ones Carlisle used on me. You'd just have to lock the padlocks over the chains and then start a fire. Pour gasoline on me and-"

"No!", I cut him off, "Stop saying this! You don't mean it! And I WON'T KILL you !"

"It's the only thing I can think of !", he raised his voice a little, then quickly made himself quiet, as if someone else would hear.

"I will just keep losing control…", he said calmly, rocking back and forth a little, "I will keep scaring you…hurting you…I mean HE will."

"Who is HE ?", I asked, wanting to understand this.

"HE—", Edward's eyes looked so terrified, crazy…"HE – the other one…ME! He wants to come back, he CAN'T come back ! I won't let him ! Not until you kill me! Please, Bella, please ! I can't hold him back for very long!"

I felt sick to my stomach. I watched him and knew he was insane. The other him…the Edward who hurts me. Is this the REAL him then? This scared rabbit, pained, and suicidal? Where is MY Edward? Did I even have an Edward anymore?

This is the first time I realized the two personalities were fighting each other. Inside him, was an Edward who still loved and cherished me…and an Edward that was angry, betrayed by me, and wanted to punish me.

"Are you…", I asked gently, getting down on the floor in my spot, "Are you the one who follows me all the time?"

He peeked up at me, ashamed, and nodded, still rocking, his hands in fists against his chest like they were bound.

"I make sure you're safe.", he panted, "That he doesn't get you. I'm sorry if I scared you."

I didn't know why but I wanted to comfort this Edward, to be closer to him. So I crawled closer, putting my hand on his arm, trying to rub up and down, wishing he'd stop rocking like that.

"I'm here, Edward.", was all I could think of to say, hoping deep inside him, the rational Edward was hearing me, knowing I didn't abandon him yet.

He didn't seem to hear me, and he looked to the right…there was no one there.

"I know, Mother.", he whispered, "Yes."

"Edward?", I just stared at him.

"Shhh, my mother is making a great point.", he put his hand over mine for a second, then went back to listening to "her".

"Oh my God.", I felt tears in my eyes as he nodded to the air on his right.

"What did I do to you?", I breathed, almost to myself.

"I'll tell her.", he said at last to the invisible figure beside him.

Then he turned to me. "Bella, Mother says the only way out is to die. Please come. It won't take that long…"

He stood up and took my hand and the touch was gentle, like the Edward I used to know.

"That's not your mother, Edward.", I said, my voice cracking on his name.

"Yes it is.", he looked at the air, "She's right there. She says she misses me. Father, too. We can finally be together again. In heaven, our house is even there!"

"No, Edward!", I yanked his hand back away from the window, "Those voices you're hearing are bad. They're playing tricks on you. Don't listen. Your real mother would not want you to die. Remember – she begged Carlisle to save you! You will listen to me…ONLY to me…do you understand?"

He hesitated, looking again at his mother.

"Edward?", I sounded stricter, like scolding a little boy.

"But you hate me.", he said, just as lost as a child, looking at me, "It should be easy for you to kill me."

He couldn't have hurt me more if he tore my arm off.

"Did she tell you that ?" I asked, heartbroken.

Edward just nodded, not meeting my eyes.

With a determined look in my eyes, I grabbed both his wrists and made him look at me.

"I don't hate you, Edward.", I said simply, truthfully, "I love you. So much that I can't even hate you when you—I mean—HE—hurts me. I am still your friend. I want to help you. But killing you is not the plan. Got it? Say it. Say you will listen to me. ONLY me!"

He looked torn. I knew the love he held for his mother. If she were really here, I would never make him choose. But I had to do this or he'd try to kill himself without me.

Almost turning to look at his mother again, I stopped him.

"NO!", I shouted, holding him tighter, "Don't look at her, don't listen! That is not your Mom!"

He swallowed, closing his eyes, looking down. "I will listen to you, Bella. Only you."

I wanted to be glad he promised me this…but he looked so alone just then…as if his mother had died all over again.

"I know you're confused.", I touched his cheek softly, "But I'm going to do all I can to help you, alright?"

"Yes Bella.", he sounded like a kid, trusting me.

This is my fault. I have to try and make it right. Even if that means putting myself in danger. Edward had done this for me, with James, with the Volturi…I would do the same for him now. If I didn't, I feared no one would be able to save him.

"Sit here.", I eased him down until he sat on my bed.

"Charlie will think I left early for school.", I said to myself as I put my jeans on over the shorts, "I'll write him a note."

I grabbed my keys to the truck and looked at Edward. He just sat there, looking down, so dejectedly.

"I don't know what we'll do…", I said softly to him, touching his hair, "But we'll figure it out."

And now, I was sitting here, at Jake's grave. Things had gone so horribly wrong. Charlie…Renee…Phil…if I had been able to reach Edward, maybe they'd be alive today.

I had no proof they were dead…but I just knew.

I said lots of things to Jacob, but mostly, I said I was sorry.

The Volvo pulled up along the grass and waited, the engine still humming. I turned and tried to see Edward's face. The glass reflected back to me…and I couldn't make out his expression.

"I love you, Jake.", I touched the earth and made myself stand up, "See you soon."

Walking back towards the Volvo, I noticed the engine was revving loudly. The car was jerking forward, then stopping.

"Edward?", I called, a little distance away from the car yet.

"BELLA GET OUT OF HERE !", he yelled, the window rolling down, "RUN! GO TO THE TREES!"

I knew what was happening. Bad Edward was struggling to come back. Good Edward was trying to fight him…but it looked like he was losing.

I obeyed him, starting to turn and run as fast as I could. I heard Edward growling in desperation and then a moment later, I heard the car roar to life. I heard screeching, the tires! I stopped and looked…

The Volvo was coming after me…at top speed ! And Edward's face was cold as ice…pissed.

"SHIT !", I took off, this time with more urgency than before.

The forest was so far off in the distance, beyond the entire cemetery. I would try to get there but it would not be easy to beat the Volvo.

I tried to use things to my advantage. I ran around, weaving in and out between tall headstones. They slowed him down a bit…they exploded on impact as he ran right into them. I screamed as they burst into dust only feet behind me.

He was almost upon me…I could feel the heat from the car's engine on the backs of my legs.

Then I leapt behind a very thick, large oak tree. I was on my face for a moment when I heard the metal crushing the wood. I got up instantly, standing behind the tree to catch my breath. The car backed up, the front all caved in and destroyed. Then he came on harder and smashed the tree again…making it tip a bit over me. It still stood, though…it wouldn't go easily.

I didn't wait for it to break. I used my time and sprinted towards the trees. It was still far away…but my legs were doing their best.

"BELLAAAAAA!", he screamed, angered. The ground seemed to shake.

I was looking for mausoleums but I didn't see any. A little stone house would be a perfect place to hide now.

I heard the car coming after me again. I gasped and went back to my strategy of going in and out of headstones. Sorry! I wanted to say to each one as I passed them. I bet they weren't happy their resting place was being disturbed by a Volvo of all things.

I didn't think Edward wanted me dead, but I didn't have the guts to stop running and face the car, daring him. I wanted to die…I wanted to be free of all this…I wanted to see Jacob and my family again…but I didn't want to be run over by a car ! And then…I felt another reason to live…Edward…my Edward. He still needed me.

"Faster, Bella!", I could hear his voice behind me, "You're boring me!"

And I heard him chuckle.

I would never make it to the trees, I knew that. Then, I saw an escape. A giant hole a couple feet away.

No, Bella ! I told myself. It's a GRAVE ! I was shaking all over but I didn't have time to think it all through…and I JUMPED !

I fell six feet down, and it was deeper than I thought. The skies were dark gray but I had some light. There was no coffin down here, only a green plastic tarp. And my ankle stung a little…I probably fell on it wrong.

Now it sunk in.

I'm in a fucking grave. Tears came to my eyes and I wondered if I should hide UNDER the tarp.

I could not get out of here by myself. The dirt walls around me were dark and wet and I had to admit…I was fucking scared.

I heard a car door slam and I got more scared. What was he going to do? Was this it?

I pictured myself dieing in here and I almost wet my pants.

"Oh, Bella…", his voice sounded amused, "BAD…bad choice of hiding place, love."

I looked up and he was smiling down at me, his hands on his knees as he bent over the edge, loving having this power over me.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!", I snarled up at him, standing mostly on my good foot.

"I don't think you want THAT, Bella.", he smirked, "It will get dark in a few hours…and colder…rain is called for in today's forecast…and you'll starve down there ! Unless you make use of the insects with you."

I glared up at him, not wanting to beg him for anything. But I wanted out of here…real bad.

"I hope there are no rats down there.", he commented, looking right and left in my hole.

I looked around myself with a little scream and Edward laughed, as if he thought I was cute.

His head tilted to the side when I looked back up.

"I guess I have time to hang out with you for a bit.", he said and sat on the edge of the hole, leaning back on his hands as he looked up at the gathering clouds.

I wanted to make a jump for it and try to get out myself…but I didn't want to do it with Edward watching me.

"Almost every human has a secret terror of being buried alive.", he shared pleasantly, "How about YOU Bella? Are you afraid of the dark?"

He chuckled again as I shot him another defiant look.

"We'll see.", he said to himself.

"This is where Jacob is right now.", he said, plucking a blade of grass from the lawn, and he tossed it into my hole, "Only six feet of dirt and shit laying on top of him. Bugs…worms…eating the flesh…chewing out the eyeballs…"

"SHUT UP !", I screeched so hard I hurt my own ears.

"I wanted to save you from this fate…", he said in a calm voice as he looked down at me, "I wanted you forever. And you chose this ?"

I didn't want to listen anymore. And Edward knew as long as I was in here, I'd have to listen to everything he had to say…for as long as he wanted to talk.

Leaping up, I tried to claw my fingernails into the mud and climb up, my feet digging in beneath me…but the earth crumbled wetly and as I sank to the tarp floor, some of it came falling upon me.

It wasn't much but enough to make me scream out, thinking the whole thing would cave in on me at once. Edward laughed as I stood up, brushing all the black dirt off my body.

"I wouldn't try that again.", he warned with a smile, "That earth is wet. No traction for you, my dear."

He was right about that. This whole thing could cave in if I messed with it enough.

"Back in my day premature burial was a real possibility.", he said casually, as if teaching a class, "Some diseases would still the blood, make the breathing slow so much that the person appeared…dead. Some of the richer folk had bells put in their coffins so they could ring for help." He smiled at that.

"I don't see any bells down there for YOU, though, my sweet Bella.", he informed.

Bells! I felt the bulge in my pocket. I have my cell phone !

I pulled it out of my jeans and sneered up at him, flipping it open defiantly right before his eyes. I so wanted to stand up to him, any way I could.

"Yes, of course.", he smiled, "Call for help, my dear."

"You have no friends or family.", he thought aloud. And that stung me badly.

"But you could call the police.", he pointed a finger, nodding to himself.

"A cruiser will be sent with one, maybe two cops to check it out.", he informed and I knew that was true from knowing Charlie.

"They may be cops who have families…", he worried, or pretended to, "It would be a pity for them to have to join you down there."

As he said that, his face turned deadly while he looked down at me like I were an insect.

It didn't matter anyway…my phone was flashing back at me…saying NO SIGNAL.

So I glared up at him again, shoving the phone back into my pocket.

"Good girl.", he approved, "Take your punishment without complaint."

"You are my punishment.", I muttered to myself, but of course, he would be able to hear me.

"Oh is that so?", he asked with a grin, standing up, dusting off his hands, "Well, then, I'd better start doing my job."

He walked away from the opening and I couldn't see him but I watched, knowing something bad was coming.

Did he leave? God, that might be the worst…to be left here alone.

But I heard metal slicing into earth and I almost called out for him. Then…dirt came falling in over my head. I cried out briefly, some of the grains of soil in my eyes as I rubbed them hard.

Another slice of metal sound came from above and then I saw a shovel toss a good heap of dirt into the hole…hitting me over the head again.

I let out another little yell, realizing what he was doing.

"God…", I breathed, hating this as another shovelful crashed down upon me.

"This is just too easy.", he said but I couldn't see him right now, "Just filling up a little hole…"

I held out without begging as he kept working…when the dirt was around my knees was when I broke.

"EDWARD, PLEASE !", I screamed, "Please STOP ! Please, please !"

The dirt stopped raining down on me and I heard the shovel stab into the earth above.

He stood there on the edge, a disgusted look on his face as he took a white handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping his hands clean.

"You just keep degrading me.", he sneered in contempt.

Edward knew this was a giant fear of mine. I had told him once, a lifetime ago.

"Can I please come out?", I touched my hand to the damp mud at my side, tears welling up in my eyes.

"No.", he said with certainty, tossing the cloth down into the grave, "You will remain there until I decide to – IF I decide to take you out."

I sobbed and left my pride behind.

"I thought you wanted death.", he reminded, "You're certainly in the right place for it."

"Please?"

"I have better things to do than this.", he looked up at the black clouds, "And a storm is moments away."

"No, Edward, please don't leave me here !", I shouted, trembling like a leaf.

"Adieu, Bella.", he kissed his fingers and waved at me as he walked away.

"NO!", I screamed, clawing at the earth wall and trying to climb and jump again, "EDWARD PLEASE ! I'm SORRY! SO FUCKING SORRY! COME ON!"

I heard a car door close and an engine purred to life…and his car drove away.

I cried like a baby as the skies turned to black and an evil boom of thunder whipped the air.

"No…no…no…", I cried, little daggers of cold rain showering me. In seconds, the drops were fat and heavy, pounding and ceaseless.

Everytime I tried to look up, I just got blinded by the rain and the cruel blackness. I was soaked already, freezing.

I looked at the walls around me, so afraid they'd get more wet and crumble, sealing me in. Hours went by…the lightning and thunder took pleasure in making me jump and cry…and scream.

I kept thinking Edward would come back…but he didn't.

I had decided to put the plastic tarp over me, like a very crude tent. If the hole did close in over me, I didn't want to see it. I was encased in the blackness now, rocking…my fists clenched at my chest…and I was singing Disney songs to myself. My mother used to sing me these after my baths when I was little.

She'd pick me up, the towel wrapped around me, then I'd sit on her lap. Then she'd put on the CD player and we'd sing a song together.

"What would I give…to live where you are…", I sang while I cried, "What would I pay…to stay here beside you? What would I give to see you…smiling at meeeee…."

See Chapter 9 next !

Yes, that song is Part of Your World from Little Mermaid…she is singing it, thinking of Jacob…Edward is so mean but I love him ! Evil laugh !

You're all so cool and brave to be with me still…I salute you !

Love Wind