Trying hard to not be bitchy in this note. So give me credit for that. Let me just say that I find multiple pokes about how LONG it's been since my last update very irritating. You may poke me when it's been a month, ok? Five to eight days is no time at all and you should be ashamed of yourselves if you bother authors after that short a while. Ok, got it out of my system, please refrain from commenting on this even in support. This was just easier than replying to PMs etc.
Now on to the chapter :) I hope you like the insight of this one...
When Draco woke the next morning, he was incredibly well rested but ravenous. He should really stop cutting meals, it couldn't be healthy. He just hadn't wanted to be with his friends and he hadn't wanted to see Hermione, so staying away had seemed the sensible option. It certainly wasn't the coward's way out or anything.
Feeling less than convinced about this, he began going about his day.
He would be perfectly content if he could just feel Hermione without actually seeing her.
Unfortunately, she was a strange little creature with strange little notions.
In the break between afternoon classes she mercilessly cornered him, arms across her chest, her cheeks flushed and eyes sparking. His gaze flickered as he tried to recall what he might have done to make her so angry with him that she would actually seek him out – and like this too – to give him a piece of her mind. He quickly decided that she was about to tell him anyway, so there was no use wasting energy on trying to figure out how her mind worked. Besides, he might strain something if he tried.
"You. Are. Unbelievable!" she snarled.
He raised an eyebrow. "Why, thank you," he coolly replied, taking the opportunity to annoy her further. Really, what was he supposed to say?
"I mean, I knew you were an intolerable, racially bigoted, inconsiderate, spoiled pureblood prat, but I didn't know you were also a male chauvinistic pig!"
This just kept getting better and better. "Please, don't hold back."
"You abuse and torture me for weeks and now… this! How dare you eschew my help because of… because of this!? Oh, and for your information – if I'm temperamental, you deserve it!"
He was having a hard time following her. "I wasn't aware that you missed my presence that badly."
"You're really going to have a hard time out in the real world if you plan on avoiding all witches for one week a month!"
Secretly, he thought it sounded like it would make life easier. However, having caught on to her meaning, he just smirked at her in his most condescending way. "That's not it."
She frowned. "What?"
"That's not the reason." Well, it wasn't all of the reason.
Her frown deepened. She really should be careful or she'd get wrinkles before her time. "So you're saying that your decision to finally leave me alone just happened to be… now?"
He shrugged. "Well, I did also figure that all things considered you might want to lie down or something rather than tutor an intolerable, racially bigoted, inconsiderate, spoiled pureblood prat."
A faint blush tinged her cheeks. "Why, then?"
Hadn't he just told her why? "Why what?"
"Why did you originally decide to go easier on me all of a sudden?"
He sighed. "Believe it or not, Granger," he quietly said. "You're not really that pleasant to be around. I needed a break."
Then he turned around and walked away from her.
After the last class, Draco went in search of Blaise. He didn't really want to be around Theo for obvious reasons and Blaise was sufficiently gloomy to fit Draco's own mood. He wasn't exactly sure why he was feeling like this, but misery liked company, and so he could either find Blaise or make someone miserable. Preferably Granger. She didn't even know him, so how could she pass judgment on him like that? Sure, he'd done some things in the past, but that hadn't been who he had been at all this year. Ok, maybe he had around her, just a little, but… she hadn't exactly been kind to him either. It seemed that she just had this image of him and it didn't matter what he did, she would never see him as anything else.
It really was a good thing that he didn't plan on kissing her again. Even better that he didn't care that it would never happen. There was no reason for Theo to always look at him with that penetrating gaze; it was obvious that there was no competition. None. Not from him, anyway. Maybe someone else had caught her fancy by now, who knew? Maybe that Hufflepuff fellow she had made blush and run off. No, she wouldn't go for someone who was intimidated by her.
Why was he even thinking about this?
Someone told him they had seen Blaise out by the lake and, feeling rather puzzled, he went out to find him. Blaise didn't usually spend a lot of time outside, especially not by himself. Of course, it could be that he wasn't by himself. Maybe he'd made up with Davis and Draco would have to mope alone. Damn, that would be inconvenient.
The lake came into view and eventually so did Blaise. He was alone, apparently skipping stones. Draco felt a sense of foreboding, which he told himself was ridiculous. He did, however, decide that perhaps Blaise really did want to be alone and that he'd probably come inside if he wanted company.
Just as he was turning to leave, Blaise looked up and saw him. For a second Draco didn't know what to do, but then he decided that he'd best go down and say hello. Blaise would tell him if he wanted to be alone. So why was it he was still feeling so hesitant? He shrugged it off and went down there.
"Hey," he muttered, as he finally reached his friend. "This is new. Suddenly growing fond of nature?"
Blaise didn't reply, but just stared down at the stone in his hand for a second before flinging it out with all his might. He watched it skip and then bent to find a new stone flat enough for his purpose. Draco watched Blaise's movements, frowning slightly. Something was a bit off, his movements were too stiff, too… not Blaise.
Blaise skipped a new stone. "Did you see her?" he then hoarsely asked.
"See who?" Draco quietly asked.
"Tracey," Blaise said the name a bit too quickly, as if forcing it out so it would cause him less pain. He swallowed. "She's taken up with a-a… someone else. She's over me. I saw them together everywhere today."
Draco didn't know what to say. He hadn't noticed Tracey at all today. He hardly ever noticed her unless it had to do with Blaise. "I'm sorry, mate," he finally said.
Blaise nodded rather stiffly and flicked out another stone. "They were whispering in class. He was touching her. She… she was smiling. It's been a while since I saw her smile."
Again, Draco just stood there searching for something to say.
Apparently he didn't need to say anything, because Blaise went on, "She kissed him too. Not in public, though. They went off after classes were out and I… I followed them. I don't think they saw me. But I saw them, kissing." He flicked another stone and then let his arms drop. "How can that be? Just a week ago she said… she said she was in love with me and now… It's only been a week!"
"I'm sorry," Draco repeated, feeling useless.
"Did she even really mean it then?" Blaise asked, looking down at his hands. "Could she have meant it if she's now smiling and kissing someone else? Am I a fool for…" He didn't finish the sentence, but the feeling behind it was clear in the way he clenched his jaw and swallowed again.
"No, of course not," Draco soothed. "I'm sure she meant it."
"How dare he kiss her," Blaise suddenly growled, picking up another stone and flicking it with greater force than any of the others. "She's mine! Tracey is mine; she belongs to me! She belongs with…" Again he just stopped, as if lost in thought.
"You can win her back," Draco said, not sure about the truth in his own words. "You can make her see."
"Maybe…" Blaise said, sounding infinitely sad. "But I realized something. She's happy now. I want nothing more than for her to be happy. If he hurts her, I'll break his legs, but right now… she's happy. She has someone who can hold her hand and kiss her in public, someone who can ignore her blood status. I couldn't and I can't… she was never really happy with me. I can't be what she wants, what she deserves."
Blaise's hands were shaking and his eyes were becoming suspiciously shiny. Draco tactfully looked away. "Why not?" he heard himself ask. "I mean… I know it would be a big shift, but if you really care about her like that, wouldn't you want to be with her?"
"I love her," Blaise whispered. "I never fully understood that before… I'd do anything to be with her. But… it's my mother, Draco. She's a really cold-hearted witch. I'm… I'm afraid for Tracey's safety. Mother has gotten away with so much already, I don't see how she'll let one little half-blood witch get in the way of her ambitions for me. So, in short: Being with me would make Tracey unhappy, put her in danger, and she wouldn't really have anything to show for it but some stolen kisses." He laughed mirthlessly.
"She didn't seem all that unhappy to me," Draco muttered.
"Maybe she wasn't," Blaise conceded. "But she wasn't happy either. She rarely smiled at me like that." He sighed. "I didn't even deserve the time I did have with her. I was such an arse. She told me she loved me and I-I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't really. I didn't realize what having that meant – what not having it would feel like."
Draco was getting more and more uncomfortable, he really didn't know how to do this. He didn't want to do this. The only reason he hadn't made a hasty excuse and retreated yet was that he somehow sensed that Blaise needed to talk about this. And he owed the boy. A lot.
"Be careful," Blaise very softly said.
"What?" Draco felt confused and was sure he must have missed something.
"It starts with a kiss…" Blaise continued. "And you think it doesn't mean much if you just steal another one. It's just a kiss, after all. Soon, you're addicted and you're in love, and you realize that it does matter that it's a hopeless relationship, and the only way out is by smashing right through your own heart. And maybe hers, too."
"Why are you saying it like that?" Draco asked. He suddenly felt like he was going to be sick.
Blaise gave him a reproachful look. "I'm not stupid, Draco," he said. "I saw the kiss. I saw the pain you took for her. I may not be as observant as Theo, but I've seen the change in you around her. You want more, whether you'll admit it or not."
"D-Don't be ridiculous," Draco scoffed, taking a step backwards, feeling an incredible urge to flee.
"You-Know-Who will be out to get you in one way or another as soon as you leave the protection of Hogwarts. Your father is also out there and who knows what his agenda is. You and your mother can't live in a safe house protected by the Order all your lives. Do you really want to add a Muggleborn witch to this? Make everything worse for yourself and put her in immediate danger?"
"Of course not!" Draco exclaimed. "I don't know where this is coming from; I don't want her."
Blaise's head snapped up, an angry glint in his eyes. "Don't fool yourself, Draco. You want her. It's just how much that remains to be seen."
Shaking his head slowly, Draco took another step backwards. No, Blaise was misunderstanding everything. Yes, he had wanted to kiss her again, but he had given up on that thought. She hated him. She wouldn't allow it. What would be the point? "She doesn't want me. I don't want her."
"Why is it you won't tell her about what you did?" Blaise haughtily asked. "Is it because you're afraid she wouldn't want you or because you're afraid she would?"
Draco didn't reply, but just took a few steps more backwards before he finally gave in to his urge and ran back to the castle. He knew talking about those things was a bad idea.
Once again attempting to hide in the library, Hermione hid her face in her hands as she was beating herself up for the ten thousandth time that day. Of all the stupid things she could have said and done! Why would she be getting in Malfoy's face about why he wasn't torturing her? It didn't make any sense! She had just been so annoyed at his arrogant ways and had wanted to… well, to do what she did. And the things she had called him. She moaned into her palms. He was sure to spend every last second of the time that was left scheming how to make her miserable. This had not been a smart move. Really not a smart move. Not unless she was suicidal. Was she suicidal? Maybe she was, because she had just signed her own bloody death sentence. She banged her forehead onto the desk, earning her some very queer looks from other students.
Right, it couldn't be helped. She just had to suck it up and take whatever he threw at her. It was Tuesday and come Sunday she would be free again. He couldn't do anything that was that bad, could he?
Ok, he could. But she would survive. She would come out stronger. She would… beg for mercy, pleading PMS. He had shown some human qualities lately, maybe he would take pity on her. Perhaps if she promised to be good. She knew he hated it when she talked back to him. Not talking back for five days should be doable… right? She had better find him and plead her case before he had his revenge fully plotted and summoned her.
She hurried down towards the dungeons, but she saw him already in the Entrance Hall. It seemed he had just come from outside. Zabini was there, too. He was holding on to Malfoy's arm as if he was forcing him to stay and listen. Draco looked like he really didn't want to listen. She couldn't hear what was said, but hesitated in the middle of the stairs, not sure if she should come all the way down when they were so clearly arguing about something. Now probably wasn't the best time.
Zabini looked up and saw her. With a cold smirk at his friend, he said something and then went towards her with long strides. Draco watched the other boy in confusion, as the dark Slytherin approached Hermione.
Then, as Blaise reached Hermione, he whispered something in her ear, before he swiftly bent down and kissed her.
What the…?
zOmg preview:
She turned back towards him. "Is this really necessary?" she asked with an imploring smile. "I have been good lately."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Well, maybe I have been forgetting myself with what I said earlier, but I didn't mean it…"
He snorted.
"… and I haven't kissed anyone for weeks, because you didn't want me to! Well, except Theo on Saturday, but I don't know if that—"
"You kissed Theo on Saturday?" Draco sharply interrupted. How the hell had he not noticed? Oh, right, he had been too busy bleeding for her.
