Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews, you make me so happy!
You have a girl called Gabby to thank for this chapter...I just read her review, and since it's her birthday I figured it was only fiar to update. Hope you like it Gabby!
Please please please let me know if you think the story is going too fast or two slow or anything, I have tried my best to keep it at a reasonable pace but I wanted to emphasise how they are meant for each other so it takes a really short time to fall in love and that, btu I want it to be realistic too so any advice or ideas whould be ace. Thanks! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line :( Sad times 3
Chapter 5
The rest of the day went really quickly. I wasn't in any other lessons with Austin, luckily, since things were already weird enough between us two. When the last bell finally went I sighed. Now I had two hours of tutoring Austin. Hopefully things would be okay, like last week.
I said goodbye to Trish and made my way to Miss Danning's room. Once again, Austin was already there.
"So what are we doing today?" he asked me. I smiled, taking a seat and pulling out a book.
"Well…I don't know. I know how to tutor someone, but I guess this isn't actually tutoring. So I'm pretty clueless." I said, opening the book and starting to read.
"What are you reading?" he asked me. I looked up.
"A book."
"Ha-ha. What book?"
"Just a book. Sheesh, why does it even matter?" I asked him, frustrated. He shrugged.
"It doesn't…but you're supposed to be tutoring me, not reading a book."
"You don't need tutoring, you know everything."
"Yeah, but you're supposed to be at least trying to help me, you know. You're just wasting my time." He complained. I raised my eyebrows.
"Sound familiar?" I asked him. He looked puzzled.
"Huh?"
"It's your job to at least try to do the work in school. You're just wasting your teachers' time when you ignore every word they say and sit there doing nothing." I explained. He glared at me for a second before shrugging.
"Well…I see what you did there. But it's not going to work. I'm fine with sitting here doing nothing." He shrugged. I sighed.
"Okay, whatever. So…what was that about today? Did you sit next to me because I looked hot?" I asked him.
"Pretty much." He said. I had suspected it, but hearing him confirm it still hurt.
"Wow. Thanks." I said flatly, turning away from him.
"Whoa, Ally! Don't be offended…I've said it before, you looked hot anyway. It was just because…you looked so different. I wondered if you had changed personality-wise too. I wanted to see if we could be friends. I've already said this." He sighed.
"I suppose…well, what do you think?" I asked him, expecting him to say nothing had changed, that he still didn't like me.
"That maybe I misjudged you all these years." He said. I smiled, glad that he couldn't see me.
"Nah, you didn't misjudge me. I just changed a lot over the summer. In a lot of different ways." I said vaguely.
"Do those changes have something to do with Dallas?" he asked. I whirled around.
"How do you know?" I asked him accusingly. He put his hands up in a defensive gesture.
" I saw the way you looked at him earlier, when we walked in together. I asked him about it afterwards. He said, and I quote; 'we met in the summer. Messed about for a bit. No biggie.'" He explained, shrugging. I dropped my head, looking at the floor as I fought back tears. So that was what he thought about everything? He thought it was 'no biggie'? Well, fuck him.
"Wow. God…I hate that guy more than I hate you." I breathed, not realising what I had said until it was too late. I slapped my hand over my mouth.
"Wow. Thanks." He said sarcastically, moving to get up. I was worried that I had just ruined our entire sort-of possible friendship before it was even really there.
"I am so sorry! I did not mean that. I meant to say hated. As in, I used to hate you. And you hated me too, don't even try to deny it. You embarrassed me and treated me crappy enough. But I don't hate you anymore. I don't love you, obviously. In fact, I don't even think we're friends. But I swear on my life, I am over the hating you part. I hated you this morning…because you were friends with Dallas. That's the only reason." I babbled. He had sat back down, which I took as a good sign, but he still looked hurt and was shaking his head.
"Wow Ally. For a smart girl you have it all wrong. I never hated you. I liked you. As in, like like. How could you never realise that? When did you ever once hear a teacher say 'Austin, sit by Ally. She might be a good influence on you'? I just told you that was why. I chose to sit by you, because I liked you." He half-yelled, all the pent-up frustration pouring out of him. I was frozen.
"Y-you couldn't h-have liked me. I-I mean, you were always so horrible. You never said more than a few words to me at a time, and then that time at the park, when you were with your friends…I cried myself to sleep after that." I said disbelievingly. He laughed dryly.
"I only said those things because I didn't want them to know I liked you. It was mean, I know, but they were getting suspicious, thinking I liked someone, and I had to stop them from realising it was you. They never would have let me live it down. And I never spoke to you because I knew you didn't like me. I was horrible because I didn't want you to know that I liked you. Looking back, though, I think I made it pretty damn obvious. Sheesh, Ally." He muttered, shaking his head. I still couldn't move, I was so shocked.
"I-I…I'm sorry, I guess. Sorry I never realised. Sorry I said I hated you. But I'm not sorry for hating you. You brought that on yourself. I mostly hated you because you were so much smarter than me, yet you never even tried. And then all those other things made it worse." I said, finally snapping out of it and managing to speak normally.
I honestly could not believe it. I mean, there was no way I returned the feelings. No way. Yet I felt terrible that I hadn't realised sooner, and I was hoping to God that this hadn't ruined the friendship we were so close to.
"Well, I guess I can't blame you…you never even realised how hot you were. I shouldn't be surprised that you never realised that I liked you. But I guess the secret's out now. I get it if you don't want to talk to me anymore. Or tutor me. It wasn't like anything was going to change anyway." He sighed, slinging his bag over his shoulder and moving towards the exit. I got to my feet and slung myself after him, grabbing his arm to stop him.
"Wait, Austin. I-I don't want to stop tutoring you. And I definitely don't want to stop talking to you. I want us to be friends…I'm not going to lie and say that I 'like like' you back. But I do like you a little more now that I know the real reason you treated me so crappy. And, in all honesty, I find it quite sweet. The bad boy had a crush on the goody-two-shoes. Kind of ironic, isn't it?" I laughed. He just glared at me.
"Please don't take the piss out of me, or I might be forced to take drastic action." He warned me, a serious look on his face. I chuckled.
"Like what?" I asked him. I saw an evil glint in his eye right before he launched himself at me.
"Like this!" he roared, grabbing my waist and beginning his assault.
"S-s-s-stop t-t-ick-ling me!" I shrieked loudly, fighting desperately to get away from him. He refused to stop, and soon enough we were rolling around on the floor, me trying desperately to get away from him. I was crying with laughter and he was coughing from the exertion. Eventually we were both out of breath and we stopped, sitting on the floor in silence while we caught our breath. The silence was only interrupted occasionally by Austin's loud coughing.
"You sound like my dad coughing. Oh my God, Austin! Do you smoke a lot?" I asked him seriously. He looked away, refusing to meet my eye. I gasped, appalled.
"Oh my God, you do! I knew you smoked since that day in the park, but I never realised you actually smoke properly! Do you have any idea how bad for you that is?" I fretted. He laughed.
"Of course I do. Genius, remember?" he said sarcastically.
"Then why do you do it?" I asked.
"Well, at first it was just to fit in, you know? All my friends did it, why shouldn't I? Yeah, I guess you could say I gave in to peer pressure. But now…it's been three years since I started. I couldn't stop if I wanted to. Which I don't, by the way." He said quickly. I smiled gently.
"You've smoked since you were fourteen?"
"It's not that bad. I know nine-year-olds who smoke." He said defensively.
"So do I. I guess I just expected better of you…I thought you were smarter than that. Guess I was wrong." I sighed. I saw some strange emotion settle on his face for a second. It looked almost like, regret, disappointment. But it was gone almost as soon as it appeared, to be replaced by his usual, unreadable expression of obliviousness. He shrugged.
"Whatever. I don't give a shit about what you expected of me." I laughed at the obvious lie.
"Sure you don't. Look, our session ended ten minutes ago. I really should get home. You already made me late last night." I said. He checked his watch, looking panicked.
"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! Fuck!" he exclaimed, grabbing his bag and rushing to the door. I grabbed my own bag, turned off the light, and ran after him.
"What's up?" I asked him, worried.
"I'm late." He said simply, before hopping onto his bike and driving off. Yes, when I say bike I mean motorbike. He has a car too, which he usually drives to school. But sometimes he drives his motorbike. I don't like motorbikes. They're too loud and dangerous. Although I have to admit, he did look pretty damn hot as he rode away from me.
I wondered to myself what he could have possibly been late for. I mean, he could have simply meant that he was late home. I was worried about being late home myself. But somehow, Austin didn't strike me as the kind of guy to worry about not meeting his curfew. Hell, he didn't seem like the kind of guy to even have a curfew. I shook my head and tried to rid myself of the image of him on that bike…
"Ally, you're home! Did you have a good day?" my dad greeted me brightly from the kitchen. I smiled.
"Yeah, thanks dad. It was pretty great." I sighed, dropping my bag on the floor by the door and kicking off my shoes. I flopped down on the couch, closing my eyes. I was so tired, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep for weeks. But I had homework.
I checked my timetable for the rest of the week and grinned. I had been signed up for the AP Maths class. Everyone always said that it was really hard, and only the very best students got picked. I smiled to myself.
"What's got you so happy?" dad asked, walking into the room with a sandwich and a coffee. I winced. The coffee smelled really, really strong. I jumped up and took it out of his hand.
"Oh my God dad, what did you do to that coffee?" I asked him, appalled. He shrugged.
"I thought it smelled strange, but I figured it was okay to drink…"
"Yeah, if you want to be awake for the next year. How much coffee did you put in this?" I asked him.
"I'm not sure…look, Als, you know I'm no good at cooking." He cried, exasperated. I laughed.
"Dad, making coffee doesn't count as cooking…" I said, trying to stifle my laughter. He looked sad, so I patted his back and smiled at him.
"Don't worry dad, I'll make you a coffee. Just sit down."
"Your mom used to say that. Whenever I did something wrong, she would laugh and say she'll do it. And then tell me to sit down. You're so much like her." He sighed, and I saw the tears in his eyes. I sighed, suddenly angry.
"I am nothing like that bitch, dad. I would never abandon you like that. Don't you dare compare me to her!" I yelled at him. He frowned, looking down.
"You don't know the whole story. You don't know why she left. If you knew…maybe you wouldn't hate her so much." He said quietly.
"Well then why don't you tell me?" I asked him.
"Because…you're not old enough."
"I'm seventeen, dad! In less than a year I'll be old enough to move out! But until you tell me, I am going to assume she left without good reason and I will not stop hating her." I said stubbornly. Dad was crying by now, and I couldn't help but feel guilty.
"I want to tell you…I just…" he started. I shook my head.
"I'm sorry dad, so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just frustrated. I don't understand why you refuse to tell me. But if you aren't ready to, then that's okay. Let's drop this, okay?" I said, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.
"She had cancer." He blurted. I froze, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"What?" I whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
"She left because she was dying-she didn't want you to grow up with a dying mother-she knew that you could never grow up a normal girl if you had to look after her." He explained, sitting down. He had visibly relaxed, as if a huge weight had been lifted. Which, in all fairness, it probably had. I was still frozen in place, unable to comprehend what this meant.
"Is she-is she dead?" I stammered. He shook his head.
"No, I just spoke to her last week. She's in bad shape though. The doctor said-"
"Doctor? She's in hospital? And what do you mean you spoke to her? Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" I said hoarsely, holding back the tears threatening to take over me.
"Yeah, she's in hospital. And yes, I do keep in touch with her. But I've never visited her; not since she left."
"So, what, she left and went straight to hospital?"
"No, she moved into a little apartment. She's only been in hospital for the past six months or so." He sighed.
"What did the doctor say?" I asked him, already sure that I knew what he was going to say.
"He said…he said she doesn't have long. The chemotherapy didn't work, and she's refusing to try anything else. She says she wants to pass away peacefully. She's sick of the chemo." He sighed.
"How long, dad?" I asked him softly.
"Not long." He sighed.
"How long is not long?"
"He said…he said around two months, maybe even less. It depends on how hard she fight's, I guess."
"Oh my God." I whispered, then collapsed, falling down to sit on the floor. I rested my head in my hands.
"I'm so sorry Ally, I should have told you earlier, I-"
"Yeah, you're right, you should have! All these years I've believed my mom was a bitch who left you for some other man. And it turns out that she left to protect me! She left because she didn't want me to know she was dying! I've hated her ever since I was old enough to understand that she was gone. And now she only has a couple months left!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face, ruining my carefully applied make-up.
"I know, and you have to believe me, I'm so sorry." He whispered. I was too angry to care about the pained look on his face.
"Well sorry won't make this better! Sorry won't give her longer to live, longer for me to get to know her!" I shouted. His eyes widened, and he shook his head.
"No, Ally, you can't go see her. That would drive her insane. She wants to die knowing that you are happy, that you won't be hurt by her death. She wants to leave you happy." He explained.
"I can't let her die without seeing her at least once, dad! She's my mother!"
"I don't care, Ally. I will not watch you fall apart the way I did when she left. I forbid you to see her." He said sternly. I got to my feet shakily, glaring at him with as much venom in my expression as I could muster.
"Guess what dad? I don't care." I hissed, before turning around and storming out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I wasn't really planning on going to see her right then; I had no idea where she was. Dad had always told me that she lived in Texas, but I didn't know whether that was a complete lie or whether she was in a hospital in Texas.
I walked around for a while, eventually ending up in the park. I sat by the fountain and cried my eyes out, ignoring the few people who asked me if I was okay. After a while I felt someone come and sit next to me, rubbing my back comfortingly. Assuming it was Trish, I leant into her side and buried my head in her shoulder. A small part of me realised that the body was too muscly to be Trish, but by then I was too tired and upset to care.
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