Chapter 17

It's hard to believe but Edward had me so nervous and worried last night that my body completely forgot it had to go to the bathroom. But as I began to wake up, I definitely knew it was time.

I clenched my legs together and looked around me. No Edward. And my wrists were still hopelessly locked into the bent iron loop in the headboard above me.

Trying to hold it, I decided one minute later that I just couldn't.

"MASTER!", I called, trying not to be too loud, a feeling of embarrassment washed over me.

"MASTER!", I kicked my feet a little, hoping that would keep me dry.

"Yes – Bella!", he replied, coming into the room, wearing a nice looking blue button down shirt and light blue jeans.

"Ummm…", I held it in tight, smiling, "Good morning Master."

He folded his arms and smiled back, "Good morning Bella."

"I'm sorry to bother you…", I winced, "…but is it alright if I use the bathroom please?"

He grinned and looked back in the direction of the hallway.

"Perhaps it could be arranged.", he looked down at my body, surely seeing the internal struggle I was trying to hide.

"What will you do for me in return?", he asked, his eyes glinting a bit as he thought about that.

And that is why I am now a very relieved, empty bladdered naked girl under the dining room table, hands tied behind my back, and sucking as Master shoves his penis into the back of my throat.

My breakfast bounced on the table as my head smacked the underside of it now and then, and I'd get a little chuckle from Master as he sat in his usual spot across from mine.

"Ohhh yessss….", I could hear him hiss above me.

His hands gripped my hair tighter and made me move back and forth a little faster.

I sucked very hard and made sure my mouth was always very wet, making sloppy sounds that Master liked as he drove himself in and out of my noisy mouth.

I moaned and vibrated his shaft with my voice as he pumped. I wish I could see his face…but as it was now, I was like a dog under the table…only getting to see his bare white thighs and lowered jeans while he used me to reach his pleasure.

"FUCK BELLA !", he made a very lion like roar and growl, then I knew he was getting close to the edge. I was glad. My throat was hurting a little bit and my jaw stung. Also, my food was getting cold. And I knew I'd have to eat it all, cold or not, when I got to sit at the table…IF I got to sit at the table.

I gave a little squeal of excitement, licking the underside of his cock with my tongue in addition to the faster strokes he was helping me achieve.

With that, he shouted out and I heard a piece of marble break off the table in his hand.

He tossed it away from us and then said, "Take it all, Bella."

I felt a hot spasm of liquid erupt into my mouth and right away I began swallowing over and over again. I didn't want to lose a drop or I'd be in for it. I could hear him panting above the marble table ceiling.

I still couldn't see him but I licked every inch of his glorious long cock. It tasted so heavenly, like something sweet and hot. I wanted more.

"MMmmmm…", he sounded happy up there and I felt his hands loosen in my hair, letting go. Then one of his hands stroked my face. I took the chance and sucked his middle finger as it neared my lips.

"Ohhh sweetie.", he sounded aroused again…still. I took a gentle little bite and licked, sucking harder.

"Such a good little bitch today…so far.", he added, and then his hand came under the table with a long piece of bacon in it.

I smiled and licked at his fingers that held my bacon. I heard him give a little laugh.

"Eat.", he invited me and I devoured the bacon slice, making sure to lick his fingers clean after it was gone.

A minute later, he placed my plate of eggs and remaining bacon on the floor in front of me.

"Eat your breakfast, all of it.", he said, still not letting me out from under here.

I heard Master opening his book overhead and I got to work on my plate, glad to find it was still warm.

After breakfast, I was told to clean up the dishes and pans, tidy up the kitchen, and then Master showed me how he wanted the house kept at all times.

I was also told that in the house, I would always be naked, unless told otherwise. When Master would be away from me at any time, I would have the chastity belt on. I was to shave all hair off my body and keep it that way at all times.

When at school, I was to be home exactly within 15 minutes of leaving there. I had to call when leaving the school and had to call if I hit any traffic or other types of obstacles that would make me late getting home.

No one was allowed to call me at home. I was allowed no outside friends or companions. Master said it was because he wanted his vampire secret kept, but I knew better. He didn't want me to have anyone outside himself. He was to be my whole world. There was no room for anyone else. I had already decided that I'd make no friends. It would just be another person he could use to punish me…another death that didn't have to happen.

I would exercise every day, usually, with him, in the gym on the west side of the house.

When Master came home if I was here, I was to greet him on my knees at the door.

There were no other set rules. I was just to behave and listen…and obey. I was here to be loved, Master had said, and to love in return. That's all he wanted, he said. That and faithfulness…loyalty. He told me I wasn't out of the woods yet. That he was still watching me and would be for a long long time.

Punishment would be given out whenever he decided, whether I agreed to it or not.

I wasn't surprised by that. I expected it.

And so life went on for while. I went to school over the summer and Edward decided to pose as an ER intern at the hospital. I should have known he wouldn't be happy waiting around for me to come home, knitting a sweater.

I felt so inferior, taking basic English classes in community college while Edward was saving lives at Forks Hospital everyday. He was very proud of himself that he could keep his thirst under control the way Carlisle did. Of course, the reason he could control it so well is that he would taste my blood from time to time, as he did that first night in Jasper's little concrete room.

Edward Cullen became the most loved little star in the crown of Forks Hospital.

Whenever I went there to see him or when he beckoned me to come to him there, every single person told me how lucky I was to be with Edward. Edward was the nicest, Edward is the smartest, Edward is the bravest, yadda yadda yadda.

It's nice that Edward gets to have friends when I wasn't allowed to because they might find out his big secret.

It also didn't escape me that every female in the place, from 17 years old to 85 just worshipped the ground he walked on. He had them all in the palm of his hand. He flirted with a couple of them while I was there sometimes, usually after I'd get a punishment for "looking at other men." This was all in his mind, of course.

He told this one intern, a girl named Ally, what beautiful eyes she had. So beautifully blue, he'd said, staring deeply into her eyes, almost nose to nose with her, while I stood there. Then he looked at me and said, "I wish your eyes were that color. You'd be so much prettier."

I knew he was doing it to hurt me, to show me what it felt like when I "did it to him". I wished it didn't hurt me…but I had to admit, it did.

Then, another time, he was introducing me to a woman my age, named Emily. He went on and on about how smart she was, how much she accomplished in her life at such a young age. He told me how she helped him save a life that day, with some new technique she read about.

Then he would tell Emily how I was just taking classes part time in community college and he'd smirk at her, like…a secret little message saying, "Yea, I know…she's dumb…but don't make her feel bad by saying anything."

I hated going to Forks Hospital. Everyone called Edward a chip off the old block, like Carlisle. That made no sense. Carlisle wasn't Edward's block. He adopted him.

The one thing he still kept in him that Carlisle taught was not feeding from humans.

He still lived off the blood of animals, mostly. That's what he told me. How would I know otherwise? As far as I knew, no missing people were reported. I read the paper all the time and when the Forks police called, I would ask if Edward wasn't nearby.

And Edward's eyes were always gold, now and then black…but no red.

I still got a weekly call from the new chief of police, saying they hadn't found any trace of Charlie yet, nor any evidence of who it was that burned down my house. Once he asked me, "Are you sure it wasn't that Jacob Black kid? He has a reputation for being…unstable."

And I hung up on him…loudly.

I should have told them not to waste their time. I knew who it was.

Edward never got tired. He would come home from work, completely refreshed and ready to play. Every night there were new games, new positions, new torments. Then on my days off, it would be homework and study time. Edward, my astute professor, had me ahead of my class in no time.

And I never saw my Edward. Not even a peep. I couldn't even ask about him, for fear I'd be punished for disloyalty. But I thought about him all the time.

Edward hardly ever played the piano anymore, either. I wondered if that was MY Edward's talent, or if music just didn't appeal to my Master Edward since things had gone so horribly wrong between us.

At school, I kept to myself. Once in awhile, someone would approach me or try to make small talk. I just glared at them and walked away or simply ignored them. No one tried twice. It seemed no one else really wanted to be in my life anyway and that suited me fine. My life was a lot of things, but it's not a life. Every day is to please Edward, and to make him trust me again. Every night I fell asleep, I would tell myself why I was doing this…and not to lose sight of the goal.

I missed my Edward. Months had gone by. I knew he wasn't dead…or gone. I knew he was doing as I was doing…keeping a low profile…behaving.

Another Thanksgiving came and went…another Christmas. I was lavished with lots of gifts, all from my Master. Expensive things, jewelry, a new car, dresses fashioned by top designers in France and New York. Where I'd wear any of them, I didn't know. But it reminded me of Alice and I couldn't help bursting out crying.

I told Edward that I was touched by his generosity and he seemed to believe that. He held me as I cried myself to sleep that night.

The one thing I wished for never happened. I still didn't hear a thing from my Edward.

As time passed by, Jacob slipped further and further away from me. I couldn't forget him…but I forced myself not to think of him. I never got to see that headstone Edward bought for Jacob. I never returned to his grave. And I never said his name out loud.

As far as sex went, it wasn't an easy relationship. Edward was insatiable. When he wanted me, he wanted me NOW. And for several hours. He almost became frustrated with my weak human body, that it couldn't keep up with his vampire stamina.

Sometimes, when he was feeling especially jealous, he would take me along with him when he went to hunt. He liked tying my naked body to a big tree, gagging me sometimes. Then he'd go to hunt, leaving me there. That seemed to excite him.

He joked that he hoped he could catch the bears and lions before they got to me. At first I was afraid other hunters would find me and see me…but no one ever did. It was the cold weather I was most in fear of. Once he was gone for two hours and when he came back I was blue.

After that he said no more. He would only take me along on warm days. So for the rest of that trip I was confined to the tent, hogtied and gagged while he ate.

He loved to tie me up in every way and there was hardly a day that went by when I wasn't bound somehow. It excited him, being in control. That made sense, as he had no control of me before when I wanted to leave town with Jacob. It's like he was afraid if he let me out of his control, it would happen all over again.

I had no one else to talk to…about anything. Everything I needed or wanted I had to go through Edward. I never got another point of view or perspective, only his. I sometimes would picture Charlie in my head, or Alice, and have a little talk with them, imagining their responses and playing it out in my mind. It's the only way I can still see them, talk to them…my brain is the only place I have where Edward can't intrude.

At least, I hope so. I have to be strong enough to keep him out. I can't let him break me. If I break, my Edward is lost…forever.

Another fun aspect of my life with Edward was punishment time. Now, you make think that Edward was happy that I was obeying and so agreeable all the time. But I found something out: WRONG. He was getting bored, having me smile and be so submissive 24 hours a day. I saw that and realized that he created fake things I had done wrong so he'd have reasons to punish me.

Once, when I didn't argue about it, he got mad and asked, "Why don't you fight back, Bella?"

"Because I love you.", I said timidly, "I don't want to fight with you Master."

"I liked it when you fought back.", he shared, recalling me with a little smirk, "I didn't love it when you were nasty and disrespectful…but…when you stood your ground and spoke your mind…I liked that. You were strong."

"I thought you wanted me this way.", I felt hurt, and tears came to my eyes.

He cupped my cheek and leaned in, his forehead on mine.

"Don't cry, Bella.", he assured, "I love you. I always will. I'm just trying to teach you…I don't want you to be WEAK…never weak…just…"

"Respectful?", I finished with a grin, wiping my eye.

"Yes.", he kissed my lips briefly, "And loving…but I still want you to be my Bella."

And so once in awhile, I'd have to be fiery Bella…knowing it was going to cause me pain…because I didn't want Edward bored.

It could be something as innocent as me watching TV with him and saying, "Oooh, he's CUTE!"

Punishment.

Once, I purposely shoved a vase off the table, smashing it. I told him it was an accident.

Punishment.

Once I smiled at the pizza guy.

BIG PUNISHMENT.

Soon, it was June again…a year after Jacob died. A year since the grave punishment. A year since I gave in…or so HE thinks.

I drove home, feeling how uncomfortable it is to be wearing a tight leather chastity belt in 90 degree weather. I had a long denim skirt on, to hide any evidence of what I had on underneath. I always felt like everyone knew…and could see it.

Sure, my fancy car had icy cool air conditioning, but I had spent a whole day in school where there was no working air. I felt gross and sweaty…and irritable.

I didn't make my call to Edward today upon leaving the school parking lot. I had my cell phone in my purse in the back seat.

I will not be sweet and nice to Edward tonight. Given a choice, for today, I will be difficult. I will be punished. It seems only right since Jake paid the ultimate price today.

I turned on my CD player, knowing soon I'd hear my cell phone ringing. It would be him, calling and angry with me for not doing what I'm supposed to do.

I tried to listen to the music, classical piano, and not think of Edward's angry face as he left vile messages on my voicemail. I pictured sitting next to MY Edward as he played those keys…so effortlessly…impressing the hell out of me.

I liked it that I seemed to hit every red light. I liked it that there was some traffic. I didn't want to rush home. The longer it took, the more I'd get it, I knew that.

But it also meant, the longer I could think of Jake…out here in the heat and sunshine…on his bike…riding like the wind…with me on his back. I blinked a tear away and swallowed, seeing the turn into our hidden driveway….making that long bend around the lavish mansion that seemed to be crossing its arms and scowling down at me as I approached.

I shut the car door and got my purse from the back seat. Before I walked to the house, I checked to see how many messages Edward had left as I drove home.

Seven messages. God. Have a life much ?

I tossed the phone in my bag and shut the back car door, sighing and slowly making my way to the back door where I usually entered, into the kitchen and dining room area.

I put my bag on the counter, so glad this place had central air conditioning. I went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water, twisting off the cap. I was just waiting for it to begin. It always did.

"HEY BITCH !", his voice shouted from another room…it sounded close…maybe the living room.

"Yes, darling one?", I replied with a sarcastic tone and smile, even though he wasn't in the room with me yet.

He was behind me now, suddenly, like a flash of lightning. This didn't scare me anymore. I had become used to it.

"You didn't call!", he informed, as if I didn't know.

"Oooh, you're quick, Edward.", I snidely drank my water, not turning to face him yet, acting like I was looking for something to eat in the fridge, "That's why you're the genius doctor and I'm the airhead licking paste at community college."

"Who was it?", Edward asked, his voice so lethal.

Here we go again.

"Who was who?", I asked, taking an apple in my hand…then…thinking back to my past…I put it back down, looking for something else…something not dangerous.

"The dead man you gave a ride to…or were talking to before you left school?", he asked, fishing for information.

"Oh, come on, Edward…", I turned to him now, and tried not to be so afraid of the look I saw there on his face.

"You know damn well there is no other guy.", I said, too tired and hot for this now.

"Why didn't you CALL ME THEN ?", he shouted, holding his own phone in his hand, "And I called and called you – you didn't answer ! Why ?"

"The phone was in my bag…in the back seat. Okay?", I tried to move past him but he shoved me back in place.

"Don't you DARE walk past ME !", he threatened, "Who the FUCK do you think you are ?"

"No one.", I said flatly, knowing I really was nothing.

"That's the first right thing you said all month.", his voice calmed a little, but the anger was still boiling under the surface.

"So what's his name?", Edward asked again when he saw I was not going to reply.

"First…", I nearly laughed, "There is no HIM. Second, even if there was, I would NOT be telling you. I have enough blood on my hands…and so do you."

He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

"You are supposed to call before you leave school.", he informed, "That is the RULE!"

"YOUR RULE !", I yelled back.

"DAMN RIGHT!", he frowned, "MY house ! My RULES!"

"Oh…", I looked down, "Yes…you're right…I don't have a house because mine was burned to the ground…"

With a harder frown, he grabbed at my skirt and pulled it up roughly as I tried to move away from him. He saw the chastity belt was still in place, then he let go.

"It BETTER be on!", he growled, "ALWAYS!"

"Believe me, Edward, after YOU…I will never want another guy.", I said honestly.

"Are you as hot as I am right now?", he breathed, raggedly, and there was a smile on his lips.

I knew it. He was excited by the fighting. He thought this was me just playing the part of bad girl Bella to his evil Edward. Little did he know I meant every word of it.

But I had to play along. I had been working too hard and too long now to throw away the trust I had built up in him. I was hoping that I was nearing the end of the road, ready to begin with step 2.

"More.", I smirked sexily and with that, he threw me over his shoulder and we were off, on our way to another little adventure – vampire style.

Hours had passed by…and now we were both in the tub together, me sitting in front of him, laying back against his chest as the white bubbles covered most of us. Edward brought my sudsy hand to his mouth and kissed it, bubbles and all in the way. When I peeked at him and saw the suds on his nose, I gave a light giggle.

I wiped them off gently and he made a little cat like sound when they have a hairball in their throat.

I laughed more as he smiled. I leaned back again on him and closed my eyes.

"My wicked lion cub…", I almost hummed in contentment.

"My bratty little kitty.", he tossed back at me, his voice calm and relaxed.

"I'm sorry I got so tired there at the end…", I sighed, "I guess I'm only human."

"It's alright.", he said with an understanding voice, "You kept up for three hours…that's great!"

"I know.", I replied sadly, "I just feel so bad. I wish we could just go wild, forget being so careful. I just want to be everything you need."

"You are, Bella.", he answered.

"Yea.", I made myself sound depressed.

"Bella…listen…", he said, then he paused for a long time.

"I am listening.", I said, sounding close to falling asleep.

"I think it's time…", he began, then said, "I was wondering if…I wanted to wait until things were really right between us again. And I think they are now. I love you."

"I love you too, Edward.", I replied. Edward didn't like me to call him Master all the time, lately it would be alright to say that just during play time.

"My birthday is coming up soon.", he reminded, "And I think I know what I want."

"Uh oh.", I smirked to myself, half opening my eyes, "Should I get a physical first? I don't want to have a heart attack."

"It's not sexual.", he sounded insulted, "Jesus, Bella, there IS more to life than just THAT!"

"Really?", I asked, teasing, "Like what? Oh! I know…chocolate ice cream!"

"Bella…", he sounded so serious, "I want to ask you something…something important!"

"Okay, ask me.", I snuggled my head to his chest behind me.

He held my hands in his and wrapped his arms around me. His lips were at my ear, almost touching.

"I want you…forever.", he whispered, "Just like THIS. This is perfect. Don't you think so?"

"Yes Edward.", I responded, holding him back, "Everything is perfect now."

What a lie that was. I almost couldn't say it.

He took a breath, as if he was nervous.

"Bella…", he still whispered in my ear, "Would you…would you still like me to change you?"

I felt my head turn to his…and I looked into his eyes…my face turning into a mask of concern.

"You don't have to.", I said to him, holding his gaze, "You never talk about it. I thought…you didn't want me to…"

"That was HIM.", Edward said, and this is the first time in about a year that he mentioned MY Edward. I felt a sharp little pain in my chest.

"I want you.", he said absolutely, "Always. I know it's a lot to ask…and maybe you need to think about it first…and that's alright. I can wait. I'd wait for you forever. I have waited forever."

I swallowed and answered him, knowing this was a turning point in my life. Everything would change now.

"I don't need to think about it.", I looked into his eyes, without a shred of doubt, "I've dreamed of this…being with you forever and ever. I was just waiting for you to ask me."

"Bella…", he looked happy, but then concerned, asking, "Are you sure?"

I smiled brightly at him, kissing him softly.

"Very sure.", I said definitely.

We kissed each other over and over after that. It's very nice making out in a steamy hot tub.

"Won't you miss the chocolate ice cream?", he teased.

"Screw chocolate ice cream.", I growled, on the prowl, leaning him back into the water until his head went under, and me grabbing his naked butt cheeks as little bubbles flew to the surface. He was laughing under there.

Part of me knew why he wanted to change me now. For months, I've been saying how tired I am, how exhausted all the sexual games makes me. Lies.

Edward wants to change me because he wants me to be able to keep up with him, sexually. His ideas and games get more and more intense and complex every day. No human could do all the things he wants…or will want.

Also, I'm getting a little older. I'm 22 years old now and that's not old, but soon I may start to think about wanting children, a family. He could lose me all over again, just because I could choose to live a human life. He couldn't risk that.

Another thing: I was perfectly behaved now. I obeyed him, I respected him, I had no interest in any other man…but I was also not so good that I was dull. I had relaxed around him enough that I wasn't afraid to act like a brat when called for, to enflame his desire. But I never went too far. I didn't REALLY fight him. I was ripe for plucking. Me, frozen in time, exactly as I am now, appealed to Edward a great deal. I had worked hard to become his perfect little human. And now, it seems I am. So now, he wants me to be a vampire.

I have his trust. Finally. Onto step two.

/

End of Chapter 17

Hey, sorry this one is a little short. I am suffering from Eclipse fever, dying for the next few days to fly by.

I know, no big lemons in this chapter, but as Edward so eloquently said, "There is more to life than just…THAT! "

There is ? LOL

Hope you're liking this still, more to come soon!

Love you ! WinndSinger