Proper Lady

"Are we done yet?" I whined. Constance, Astrid, and Tiffany were in my crowded room, getting ready for the masquerade ball. Constance insisted on doing my hair, nails, and make-up, and getting me ready was taking most of the time. We had an assembly line going on in my tiny room, and the girls all managed to get dressed in time. Except me.

"Yes, yes, just hold on." I squirmed a little and she smacked me impatiently on the shoulder. "Stay still!" I groaned. She pinned up one more bobby pin, and she said "There. All perfect." I turned my head around, not sure if I should look, and definitely not sure if I had permission. "Look!"

"Wow Reed, you look so hot," Astrid commented.

"Yeah, you look gorgeous," I heard Tiffany say.

"Aren't I a genius?" Constance remarked.

I barely heard them as I stared at myself in the mirror. The dress accentuated my body, hugging every curve and showing what a proper lady should not show. My somewhat tan skin (all thanks to St. Barth's) was still lingering, giving me a slight glow. My hair was in soft curls which Constance expertly pinned up, giving it a Victorian age look, all tied together in a light bun. Little, deliberate curls danced around my face. My make-up was what Constance had seen in Vouge; my cheeks were painted in a coral blush, and I had barely there eye shadow. My lips were coated in a blood red color, making me the epitome of a classic 1940's lady.

I was beautiful.

Turning around, I couldn't help but let my stupid grin play out on my lips. "Thank you so, so much guys." I took a peek at myself in the mirror and faced my friends again. They too had goofy grins on their lips, each painted a different color. "I'm so excited!"

"Hell yeah! I'm so glad I can finally wear this Monique Lhuillier dress. I've had it for such a long time," said Astrid as she fixed her hair. Astrid's hair was done in a funky way, her raven hair a dark contrast to her skin. Her dress was red and slim, and a halter. There was a deep V-neck on her dress and gold, brown, and dark green beads were embellished around it.

"Yeah, and I've had to hear you complain every day," said Constance. She wore a pastel green dress, hitting below her ankles; it was strapless. It had light, skinny feathers on the top part of her dress, and little flowers- cloth, that is- started at the bottom of her right breast, and it wove down to the other side. The bottom part was cut and layered in different lengths, giving it a large look, but still looking elegant. Her hair was straight (a total shocker) and she looked great.

Tiffany came over and gave me a light hug. "Let's get going girls." She wore a silk dress, also ankle length. It was strapless, and she had a tiny black belt tied around her waist. The top half was light yellow, mixed in with gold, with some light brown splattered in it. As the design went down, the colors faded and white was left. She looked stunning, as usual.

We all giggled, ecstatic over the party. This was going to be a night to remember.

Upton was already here, but when he tried to get into my room, Constance pushed him out. He came early, respecting my wishes, and that little thought made me smile. I couldn't wait to see him.

Whatever happened last night was something I didn't discuss at all to anyone. I told Upton that tomorrow I would explain him everything, before the brunch with the Easton Alumni. He complied, and I didn't like what I was going to have to say. This sucked.

The four us laughed and squealed in delight our way down the stairs, acting like little school girls. We slipped on our masks before we headed out, and Constance made us stop.

"This makes us legends. We are Easton legends!" exclaimed Constance. We all smiled, not wanting to kill Constance's mood. Astrid rolled her eyes, no doubt wanting to leave already.

"Hey, wait up," we heard someone say. I turned my attention to the stairs, and I saw Noelle rushing towards us. She wore a magenta colored chiffon dress. A deep cut started on her left thigh, and spread wide open. Her dress was a V-neck also; a loose ribbon was tied underneath her breasts. She wore a fur black cardigan, and black leather gloves, cut short to her wrists and revealing her fingers. She wore a black mask, adorned with more black feathers. She looked beautiful, as usual.

"Did you guys think you could just leave me?" mused Noelle as she came forward.

We just shrugged. "We thought you had already left," said Tiffany.

Noelle smoothed out her dress. "Yeah well, I forgot something." She lifted her clutch and waved it in front of us.

"We should get going," Astrid mentioned. The girls nodded, and they left Noelle and I in the lobby.

"Noelle… thanks. For, you know, buying me the dress, the shoes, pretty much my whole wardrobe," I said. I laughed nervously.

She tisked me and said, "Come on, Reed. I thought we were all over the mushy stuff!" Noelle linked her arm around mine. "Just relax. This isn't the end, Reed. It's just the beginning."

I looked up at her, and concluded she was right. This was a new semester, and a new start to things. Whatever happened yesterday was nothing. If I wanted to move on, then so be it. That was that. No one was going to stop me. Not Josh, not Sawyer, not Ivy- no one.

Noelle laughed, dragging me along into the deep night where music, dancing, and good times were waiting for us.

***

"This party is awesome!" Upton yelled over the loud music. He twirled me, and a loud laugh escaped from my lips. "You guys really outdid yourselves," he complimented. He brought me back to his chest, hugging me tight.

"Yeah, I know." I glanced over Upton's shoulder, admiring the gold drapes hanging from the ceiling. It was dark, but a faint light could be seen. Everyone was covered behind their masks, and for a foolish second, I felt that I transported back in the 1800's, where masked balls thrived. There were hints of black around the room, and an occasional red. Noelle really did do a great job.

"But, of course, you look beyond beautiful," he murmured in my ear. I blushed furiously, and I didn't doubt the fact that everyone saw that.

"Why, thank you," I replied back. He smiled his signature smile, and he dipped me low, my back being supported by his strong arm. I couldn't help but laugh and tip my head back, earning glares and a few smiles. Upton lifted me back up as the last note was played, and he bowed.

"It was a pleasure, Miss Reed Brennen," he said formally. Upton took my hand and kissed it. It wasn't just a normal hand-kiss, and I definitely felt his tongue slightly brush over. Ohmigod. I giggled again, ecstasy sweeping over me.

Upton brought me back close to him, a groovy jazz song playing over head, igniting smooth dancing. I sighed, tucking my head on his chest, feeling utterly content.

Even though I told Upton that I would explain to his everything tomorrow, I had a nagging feeling and I wanted to do it tonight. I couldn't wait. I wanted to make everything solid before… something happened.

In reality, I was itching to be close to him as I was in St. Barth's. In a month's time, I forgot what it was like to be around Upton. And now, I wanted him. I really did. He made me feel safe and secure, and I didn't have a single care in the world when I was with him. There was no past to dictate us. Upton truly did love me. I made up my mind, then: I was going to tell Josh to back to fuck off, and I was going to tell Sawyer that…

I had to think about it first.

We continued to dance, Upton and I. I was barely aware of the fact that someone had spiked the punch, and everyone was becoming louder and crazier. The music was pounding in my ears, and to hear Upton's rhythmic breathing was pure bliss. Sometimes, he would sing along to the music; it was lovely.

Eventually, a guy has to go to restroom. You can't always expect them to hold it. So when Upton had left, I felt surprisingly small, finding that I had nowhere else to go. Upton had to go outside and to the boy's dorms, for the ball was held in the cafeteria. It was going to be a while before he came back.

I made my way over to the wall, deciding to become a wallflower for a few minutes. I stood there, trying to soothe my feet, while watching everyone dance. People were floating in and out, each cheering happily. I was overly pleased at the outcome. Everyone had signed up for the actual fundraiser, and we got tons more money for this party. Money was pouring in like crazy.

Noelle designed- or rather, her personal party planner- the hall in such a way where it seemed like there were hallways and other rooms. The drapes were closed off in a few sections; one of them was the "parlor room," although there wasn't a bathroom to accompany it. I decided to go there.

My feet started to drag me all the way in the back. I moved a light curtain inside, and was greeted with a true parlor. There were mirrors all around; small and tall mirrors. The small ones had lights around them, and there were red seats accompanied with it. All the girls were gathered around, fixing their dresses and make-up. I scanned for an empty mirror, but they were all full. Glancing around, I saw a certain someone talking animatedly with her group of friends.

Ivy.

She looked gorgeous, really. Her dress was long and flowy, and a deep, rich purple color. Her raven hair was curled to perfection, but let loose, and she seemed at ease, as if what happened yesterday was not a big deal.

One by one, her friends started to leave, as did everyone else. My hands started to get all clammy. I wanted to talk to her; needed to talk to her. I needed to make sure everything was alright between us. I wanted to tell her that I was choosing Upton, and moving on. I really did. She deserved to know.

I slowly inched forward, and I saw myself within plain sight on the mirror. Ivy's eyes peeked at me in the mirror, but she continued to ignore me. I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Ivy, I need to make sure everything is alright between us," I flat out told her. Since when did I become so bold?

She scoffed and applied her lipstick. "And why would it?"

I swallowed, feeling extremely guilty. "Look, I-I'm moving on. I'm not lying. I'm not going to stay here and screw everything up when-"

Ivy laughed real loud and faced me, a wicked smile playing on her lips. "Oh, but you are. It's what you're good at." Her fake smile quickly faded, and she proceeded to get up. "What part do you not understand of me telling you to leave Josh and I alone?" she said while she turned to leave. Ivy whisked out the room, leaving me shocked.

No way was I going to let her go. She had the right to know, and Ivy was acting the way she was because she was hurt. I had to make everything right. I ran after her, throwing the damn curtain aside. She was walking super fast, away from the party. My toned legs easily caught up with her and I lunged for her arm.

"Let me go!" she hissed as she tried to yank her arm free. I held on tight.

"No. You listen to me. You have no right to act the way you're acting to me. I've done everything I can to make everything right, but that doesn't seem enough for you, does it?" Ivy tried to squirm free, but my hand was an iron fist. "What do you want? I'm letting you be with Josh, and you somehow find a way to bring everything back to me." I loosened my grip around Ivy's wrist and she took her arm back.

Ivy sneered at me. "I'll tell you what I want- I want you to get the hell away from me. Or better yet, away from Easton." She stepped forward and stopped, thinking. "And I don't need your permission to be with Josh."

I threw my hands in the air and let out an aggravated sigh. "I've done nothing! I've minded my own business this whole time. You have no reason to hate me!" I all but whined. Ivy was acting like a complete two year old, and it was annoying me. Why wouldn't she just listen?

Ivy stepped towards me until she had me coward against the wall. "I have every reason to hate you! I had something good in my life, and you took it all away! It's you- you, the low life red neck who has everything. You can't act innocent anymore. You know what you've caused. And if your mind is still reeling over this, than that just means you're plain stupid," she threw at me.

I was stunned. She thought I had everything? She thought I was the perfect little girl surrounded by loving people? Did she have any idea what I had been through?

"You have no right to base your judgment off of what you see. You don't know me," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. Ivy's icy stare kept me on hold, and her jaw barely loosened.

"You're right; I don't. And I don't plan too," she finished. She pushed me on the shoulder and left, not bothering to look back.

I was in an utter bewildered state. She hated me because I did nothing. A sinking feeling came into my chest, and I realized that nothing would be the same anymore. I recalled that whenever something happened, people found a way to degrade me, and they always said the same thing- that I caused it. That if I wasn't here, none of it would have happened.

Several more minutes flew, and I briefly wondered when it was going to be midnight. Headmaster Hathaway allowed us to have the party until twelve (a complete shocker), letting us reprise the old tradition of taking off the masks at midnight.

The student body passed by, telling me what a great party this was and hoping for more. I responded in kind by smiling, when I sure as hell didn't want to. I recognized no one, due to the masks they were wearing. I didn't move a single inch because I felt like crap. Or maybe, I didn't move because I knew if I walked, a calamity would happen, and everybody would hate me.

"Something's bothering you." I swallowed, recognizing the voice. I turned my head and saw Sawyer. He was wearing a black tuxedo, similar to the one he wore in Casino Night. His mask was silver and cut in half, revealing half of his face. He reminded me of the guy in the Phantom of the Opera. His hair was slicked back, showing off his chiseled jaw.

I scoffed. "And you're not laughing about it?" I said a bit too harsh. I crossed my arms, and focused on the scene in front of me.

He sighed. "You do know that, since you're trying to make everything right, it's just making everything worse?"

My lips narrowed and I wanted to smack him. "Shut up. I don't know what you're trying to prove by making me feel bad." I didn't move, even though I wanted too. I was just tired.

"But you're still here." He leaned in, his one visible eye making me all squeamish.

Yes, I was still here because I wanted to know a few things. "Why were you watching me?" I held my gaze on him, trying desperately hard not to look away.

"I was outside the whole time. But I can only guess what happened." Sawyer expertly took a sip from his punch. I thought it was spiked? He did wince a little, but swallowed it regardless.

"And you thought it was funny."

Sawyer turned his attention to the party. "You're too eager to escape. It's one of your flaws. You just drop things and go, once you realize something better is out there. But you forget that you've left a few messes behind," he calmly explained.

What he just said hit right at home, not to mention totally random. I hadn't realized that before; I hadn't realized that I was an over eager farm girl. He was right. My whole life, I wanted to escape the problems at home. And when I came here, I was beyond happy, knowing that I was accepted into the most prestigious group of people.

And then I got sucked into the vortex of money, clothes, boyfriends, and a life I never had. I thought it was easy to leave things, thinking that they would mend themselves. But Sawyer was right- I never did realize how many messes I left behind. Was it my responsibility to clean everything up? No, I hoped. But that still meant I had to do something.

First things first: I really needed to break it off with Josh no matter what. Things had dramatically changed, and we couldn't go back to what it was before. The time that we were apart showed us so many things. Like how we could be rude to each other, disrespect the time that we had. As much as I cherished those memories, it couldn't be. It can't be. I was finally going to let go. Not everything is mine.

I just had a major epiphany, all thanks to Sawyer.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked again in a small voice. I was feeling completely vulnerable.

"You don't need the hottest thing out in the market to feel like you're worth something. You don't need hi- that to escape and feel somewhat better," said Sawyer. He wasn't looking at me, and his eyes were fixed straight ahead.

He was talking about Upton. Which, was to say, considerably a lot better than talking about Josh.

I gave a hard laugh. "Still hate Upton."

"Yes and no. I don't hate him, but I don't like him either. Just because he doesn't know everything, doesn't mean he'll always be there for you in a way you want him to be," Sawyer said.

I swallowed a rather large lump in my throat. "I still don't get it- what are you trying to prove? What do you want me to do?" I was feeling increasingly frustrated; I didn't know why I wasn't leaving yet. Raising my eyes at him, I asked "What do you want?"

Sawyer looked at me with a tortured expression. "I-I don't want you to make the same mistake," he choked out. He was fighting for control; I could see it. He opened his mouth to say something else, but he closed it back up. Sawyer left without another word, leaving me completely perplexed.

It was probably the strangest, yet most honest conversation I ever had in my entire life. Sawyer showed me who I really was. He opened several doors for me, ones I had yet to see. I didn't know why I was in such a hurry to "finalize" things, when really, I didn't have to. I was only 17, for Christ sake! I had a whole life in front of me! But I chose to be stuck in the past, letting it dictate my future. Now, not so much.

Ugh, what was I going to do? Did I officially want to break it off with Upton? And didn't I just exclaim that I wanted to be with Upton? Did I want Josh to be an echo of what was? And what did Sawyer mean when he asked me not to make the same mistake? What was he talking about in the first place?

It was settled then: I was going to talk to Upton, and tell him I didn't want to be with him. Besides, he was the easiest person to talk to. As mean as it sounded, I had to do it. I couldn't give Upton false hope. I didn't have an actual battle plan, but from the time I would be walking from the room to Upton, I would have my mind made up by then. Where was he, anyway? Was it even a good decision in the first place?

Second, I was going to talk to Josh and tell him to back off. I didn't want to be tangled with some stupid drama when I could not be a part of it. Ivy obviously cared a lot about Josh, and she deserved him. She deserved happiness.

Feeling rather annoyed at myself for always second guessing, I decided that I was going to create a new life. I wasn't going to act all weak tonight; I was going to say what I needed to say for my own benefit- their benefit, also. No one was going to stop me.

Ignoring the feeling that I shouldn't go outside, I went anyway, pushing past people and ignoring their glares. My pace quickened, and I really needed to see Upton. It had been several minutes since he had left; did he get lost?

I forcefully opened the front doors, suddenly being greeted with cold air. I shivered, wishing that I had some type of jacket. My eyes glanced around, and I couldn't find Upton anywhere. Did he have to go that bad?

As I started to walk forward, I felt someone cover my mouth with their hand, dragging my along with them.

No! It can't be another stalker!

Feeling renewed strength, I started throwing my arms up, and trying to kick the person. I heard some gasps and their arms tightened around me. I tried to scream, but it was muffled from the person's hand. I briefly licked it, hoping that it would gross them out.

"Shh! Damn it! I won't do anything. It's me."

Josh.

What the hell was he doing? Who did he think he was to drag me out and act as if nothing happened? I wanted to beat the crap out of him. He continued to haul me over to the wall, and I somewhat stopped my thrashing. At least it wasn't another stalker.

After dragging me for God knows how long, Josh released me. The walls looked familiar and I quickly realized we were by Mitchell Hall. I moved several steps back, making the distance between us very large. It was extremely dark out, and the moonlight was the only source of light.

Josh was also wearing a tuxedo, but his mask was a dark, rich gold. It was carved in such a way that it looked like someone ripped it out of the gold mine, not bothering to smooth it out. His blonde locks were thrown around his face, making them look absolutely irresistible. Damn him and his hair.

"What do you want?" I hissed out. I took another step back, and Josh took several more steps forward. My breathing hitched, and I knew this wasn't right. Few more steps back and a few more steps forward; that was our little dance.

I eventually stopped, seeing that I was only cornering myself even more. We were deep in the alley. He was so close. I could smell his cologne. His quiet breathing only made things more… intimate.

"What the hell do you want?" I threw at him. I wanted leave so bad. Several things were so wrong at this moment.

"You," he mumbled as he came nearer and kissed me.

What?

I didn't have time to think because Josh was crushing his lips against mine in such a forced fashion, I was afraid. He leaned in towards me, and now my back was to the wall, while he was in front of me, shoving his tongue down my throat. He violated my mouth, and for some odd reason, I welcomed it.

Our stupid masks were in the way; Josh thought the same and he ripped both of ours out. Body against body, mouths against mouths; how did I end up like this? And didn't he call me a whore as of yesterday?

I pushed him off of me, and I scooted farther away from him. "N-no. This is so, so wrong. And Ohmigod! Ivy! You idiot! She's your girlfriend! You can't just come here and think you can… do whatever!" I started to leave, but he blocked my way. "I hate you!"

Josh grabbed my arms and again threw me against the wall. "Do you really hate me? Huh?" He shook me, trying to get me to answer. His usually soft eyes were filled with lust and rage. "Tell me!"

I was so scared right now. I never saw him like this, except the one time he was arrested. His face was now buried on my shoulder, and his hands were on the side of my waist, going up and down, making me involuntarily moan. Shit!

"Y-yes, I do. You called me a whore and y-you've been treating me like crap, and you're treating your girlfriend like crap too," I said in the midst of Josh dropping sloppy kisses on my shoulder.

He stopped immediately and looked at me in the eye. They were soft and pleading. "Reed, no; you're not a whore. I said those things because… I hated how y-you were with him. I was jealous. I'm sorry," Josh finished. He leaned forward to capture me with a kiss, but I evaded him.

"No. Who do you think you are by," I gestured at us," doing this? By forcing me to be with you? You have Ivy. She's your girlfriend that you chose. We're not the same, Josh. Let me go. Please," I pleaded. "I-I don't need you, but Ivy does."

Josh looked at me with a pinched expression, trying to control whatever he wanted to say. He took one fleeting look at me, and forcefully took my face in his hands. I whimpered in protest and I tried to put up a fight, but it was impossible. He had one hand on the nape of my neck, and his other was roaming around places he never roamed before.

Despite the ridiculous cold, I was suddenly becoming very hot and I struggled to breathe. I had to stop. Now.

"No…" I moaned. He was attacking my neck, making me shudder with unfulfilled need.

"Yes…" Josh looked up at me, making me melt."Just once, and then I'll let you go. Just feel," he whispered.

I hadn't realized it before, but I was a terribly weak person. I didn't say anything, too shocked at what was going on. He began to lightly drag me, no doubt wanting to go to the Art Cemetery. God, it was getting exceedingly warm. Too, too hot…

He hoisted me up against the wall; we were too far from anyone's ear-shot and out of sight. Out of impulse, I wrapped my legs around his waist and ground against him, making him groan. I gasped as his cold fingers began to slide up underneath my dress, forcing me to shiver, going up, up, up… This was insane; there could possibly be no going back now.

"Reed?"

We instantly turned our heads to the side and saw Upton, looking positively shell-shocked. His mouth was slightly hanging out, his mask long removed. His hands were in tight fists, and I saw him clench his jaw.

I immediately pushed Josh out of the way, and I slid down from the wall. I didn't know what to do. I was so ashamed of my actions. Last time I was caught with someone, I was drugged. But now, I wasn't and there was no going back. No forgiveness.

Upton scoffed and rubbed his jaw. "What are you doing with him?" he asked with great effort.

It took me a few tries to get something out of my mouth. "Upton, you have to understand! H-he just came around the corner and…"

"Oh please. Don't act like you didn't want it," I heard Josh say. I turned around, glaring at him. I so did not want him. I saw that he was fixing his shirt and bow tie; oh God, did I do that?

I focused my attention to Upton, feeling like a true whore. Instead, I saw that he had left and was coming towards Josh. With a loud crack! Upton managed to make Josh yell in pain and fall to the floor. Josh was clutching his jaw, and Upton was seething in rage.

"Upton! Stop!"

Without another look, Upton walked pass me, ignoring my pleas to talk. He continued to walk in a hurried pace well into the quad. I was beginning to think this was how every night with Upton was going to end up- me chasing him in the quad.

"Upton, please wait! Can we just talk?" I begged. I glanced around and saw nobody and focused my attention to Upton.

He immediately stopped and gave a hard laugh. "Talk? You want to talk? You must be joking," he mocked. Upton began to walk, and I followed him.

"Upton, please. I-I'm so sorry." My voice cracked. "I'm so lost. Please, just let me explain." I was literally on all fours now, begging him, hoping he had some kind of mercy.

Upton's usually warm eyes held menace and pure loathing. "You know, the whole time we were together, you were always worried about me and some other girl. And now? I think our roles have been reversed," he said.

He might as well have been calling me a whore, which I definitely was (not that I was proud of it). "I can't tell you how sorry I am-"

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am! You can't read my mind-"

"You're just feeling guilty. And you're ashamed that you got caught when you thought you could get away with it." He stopped, and his glare barely softened. "I have no business here anymore. You wanted to get rid of me, and now you have." He paused and looked at me, great agony written on his handsome face. "Good-bye, Reed." Upton turned his heel and resumed walking away, looking defeated.

But nowhere as near as how defeated I felt.

I was remotely aware of the whoops and hollers coming from the party. Ah, it was finally midnight. I was only aware of how crappy I felt, and how much trouble I caused. Sawyer was right; I was too eager to escape my hardships. And now, I was paying the price of it.


thanks for reviewing guys! you're truly awesome :)

eh, didn't like it as much. this was kind of a big chapter to write. you do get a load of drama, so i hope that helps :) what do you guys think of my character analysis? do you guys think i'm right about how reed is too over eager to escape her problems? what about the whole chapter in general? like it or no? and sorry upton fans :(

note: one reviewer said that i had upton's eyes be blue and brown. i saw that yes, i did have a typo, but i think you can infer that i was talking about hair, not eyes. i hope that clarifies it for you.

sorry folks, no pictures of the dresses, as much as i would love too. their all mine, and i hope you guys can picture what i'm talking about :) also, i think i found the PERFECT upton. i saw him at macy's, and i fell in love. his name is oriol elcacho; he's a sexy spanish model. i think it's better if you type in "oriol elcacho bvlgari" that was the ad i saw him in, and you can see his gorgeous eyes, not to mention his bod.

reviews please! and don't forget to check out the playlist i have up