Athor's note : I know this chapter was a little bit incoherant but isn't that the point of all dreams =) As to the title of this chapter I like the analogy between Jane and Alice and it gave me some baggage to work with. Next chapter we will finally get a glimpse into the real world and how Lisbon and her team might cope with Jane's "situation" I think you all guessed already what is wrong with him lol xDD don't forget to comment it's always appreciated ! ;)

Chapter 2 (Jane in Wonderland)

The light, why was there so many light Jane thought to himself ? The brightness speared his eyelids like the sun on a summer day. When he opened his eyes, he had to close them again fearing he would go blind.

He opened them again carefully and frowned. He tried to move his arms but was astonished with realization : he was wearing a straightjacket and he was locked in a white room with nothing but a matress which he was laying on. What had happened to him ? Had he finally go insane ?

"don't be scared you're safe here" said a soft and angelic voice

Jane startled. A young girl with blonde hair and blue eyes seemed to examine him with fascination. He looked back.

"who are you ? what's you name ? and what I'm doing here ?" he said in a rush

The girl chuckled softly.

"my name is Charlotte and I know who you are" she said gently with a smile

"no…no this can't be" Jane said as he rolled back into his matress

"what's the matter Patrick ?" the little girl asked with concern "you're feeling sick" she asked genuinely

"I had a daughter named Charlotte…but she passed away" he said sadly

"I know" she said "that's why I'm here" she adds

"where am I ? am I dead too ?" Jane asked almost instinctively

"not yet" she says as she gave him he most reasurring smile

"so you're…you're my daughter" Jane asked in a low voice as he gulped

"yes I am" she said cheerfully happy that he remembers her

"why are you here ? why know ?" he asked her with pleading eyes

"aren't you happy to see me ?" she asked back

"of course" Jane says looking at her in the eyes "but I just need to understand" he says

A mixture of emotions were visible on Jane' features : a whif of happiness and nostalgia with a hint of sorrow.

"come with me…I want to show you something" Charlotte said as she leaned her hand towards Jane

"I can't move with these I'm stuck here" he said with regret as he tried to breaks the snaps of his jacket

"don't worry it's not a problem" Charlotte giggled

There was a quick flash then Jane felt his body shift in a blunt movement. His nose wrinkled at the sudden golfstream of fresh air. He could feel what seemed like sunny light rays shining on his face and the overwhelming sensation of the soft ground : from the texture he was pretty sure he was standing on perfect silky grass.

When he finally opened his eyes, Jane almost cried out in admiration at the heavenly landscape in front of him ; a wooden arch led to an endless garden filled with thousands of different brand of flowers.

As he stepped inside the floral labyrinth, a row of yellow lillies mixed with lavender plants stood in from of him. He couldn't help but take a closer step towards the familiar scent : the one of his wife's shampoo something he would never forget.

As he bowed down and held a flower in his hand, he could see Charlotte from the corner on his eyes. She looked at him with a beautiful smile and ran instantly.

"Wait Charlotte is that you ?" he asked trying to chase her

But as soon as he got close to her she would dissapear again and lead him to a different area of the garden. After a while Jane felt like Alice in Wonderland who was trapped in her dream ; except he wasn't chasing an impetuous rabbit but his daughter Charlotte and well he obviously wasn't a twelve year old girl wearing a blue dress.

Jane had allowed his mind to go distracted. He hadn't see the small rock in front of him : when his feet made contact with the heavy surface he immediately stumbled and landed face to face with a deep large pool. Fortunately he had been able to stop himself before the worst could happen.

Unable to break eye contact, the waves of the transparent liquid seemed to hypnotize him. His head felt dizzy and for a moment he let himself moving side to side tracing impeccably the trajectory of the water.

At the bottom of this oceansize pool something shiny reverberated in his eyes : like a earring but bigger, could be a necklace. When he kneeled down to have a better view a voice came behind him.

"it's beautiful isn't it ?" Charlotte's voice called behind him

"there you are" Jane said in relief as he gave her a comforting smile

"you know what it is ?" the little girl asked as she followed Jane's glare in the depths of the pool

"I don't know maybe a necklace or a bracelet" he said hesitant

"why don't you take a look" she said in a reassurant voice

"you mean take a swim" he told her with a nervous chuckle

"you used to love it remember whem mom and I were…" Charloote started but Jane interrupted her as if her words might hurt him

"I know" he said sadly "you wanna come with me ?" Jane asked smiling again

"don't be silly dad you know I don't swim" she told him as her cheeks became red

"I'm sorry I forgot" he said "but I can show you if you want"

For a moment, Jane could see Charlotte backing up and he took her gesture from her fear of water but realized he couldn't be more wrong when he heard a voice behind him.

"Jane" said a very familiar voice "listen to me…you need to come back" the women's voice said

When Jane turned around to see who it was, he couldn't be more surprised. Teresa Lisbon was standing in front of him, hair perfectly put wearing a white tank top and her favorite leather jacket. She looked so peaceful yet a bit hurt. But what in hell was she doing here ? Was this for real ?

"Lisbon…what are you doing here ?" Jane said with questionning eyes

"Jane listen to me" Lisbon repeated louder "you don't have much time" Lisbon said

"who is she ?" Charlotte asked almost scared

"don't worry sweetie…she-she's a very dear friend of mine" Jane said trying to reach for his daughter scared that he might loose her again

"what's her name ? and what she's doing here" Charlotte asked looking at her dad refusing to look at other women in front of her

"my name is Teresa Lisbon I'm a CBI agent your daddy and I work together" Lisbon said in a gentle voice responding for Jane

"you can't be here" Charlotte said with disgust in her voice "dad please come with me mother is waiting for you" she said looking back at her father

"Jane don't listen…" Lisbon said trying to reason him

"What ?" Jane asked as his interest grew wider

"she's waiting for you" Charlotte said with a smile "she said she's make tea and cooked brownies…but you have to get the bracelet first" Charlotte said with an impish smile

Jane immediately looked at the shiny furniture tossed in the pool.

"you gave it to mom you remember ?" Charlotte asked

"yeah" Jane said slowly

"you said you gave it to her when you both met as a mark of friendship" Charlotte pointed out "now you need to get it back to regain her trust"

"Jane don't listen to her she's manipulating you it's a trap" Lisbon said

"please listen Lisbon she's just a kid, she's MY kid you can't be serious…I-I will do it" he said

"Jane don't do this, please choose life" Lisbon said in last resort

Lisbon's words had pieced through his ears like a crash of cymbals in a fanfare. As much as he wanted to get with his familly again a part of him still held on to what he might left behind. Jane was facing both the pool admiring the possibility to wash away his sins and redeem himself with purity. Something inside of him was relantlessly attracting him to the bottom of the water but another part was telling him to fight and go up the surface.

"I'm sorry I can't Charlotte" Jane finally said to his daughter in fear she would be dissapointed

"NO" Charlotte said almost screaming "you can't do this to me nor to mom it ain't fair you owe us" she said as free tears were running down her cheeks

Despite the words of his friends, he had always felt somehow as if he had kill his own familly when he challenged his worst nemesis. And now the accumulation of ten years of plain guilt stock into Jane's heart were spoken through the mouth of his daughter for the first time.

"Jane it's time to go" Lisbon said

"NO dad" Charlotte said as

Charlotte took Jane's hand and tried to attract him towards her but he stayed motionless like a stele evicting all emotions that would come across his cold stoned heart. Only his eyes filled with tears dared to look at his daughter one last time.

Longs seconds passed by as Jane and his daughter stared into each other reading everything like an open book ; it was always the last page that hurt the most revealing the ending of a new beginning.

When she saw she was she was on the edge of the abyss, Charlotte finally let go of his father's hand and volontarily jumped inside the pool with a look of resignation in her face.

"NOOOO" Jane screamed

Jane was ready to jump with her but a hand on his shoulder catching him by surprise.

"Jane don't do that you it ain't real" Lisbon said with a reassuring voice

"No Lisbon you-you don't understand she can't swim…Charlotte can't swim I can't let her die again" he said as he tried to muffle the sobs as his body was panting relantlessly

Jane wanted to dive in desesperatly but Lisbon's strong hand was preventing him from it.

"LET GO OF ME LISBON" Jane yelled with a his strengh "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT" he shouted

Jane's eyes windened as his daughter had dissapear in the swirl of water.

He was now facing the reality he had lost her forever. On instinct his body came crashing down on the concrete and he allowed tears to spill out of him incontrollably. He shrivelled up into a ball like a leaf and look back. Lisbon was gone and his daughter as well : he was afraid he might have lost them both forever.

Jane was definitely trapped in an eternal nightmare not the bloomy kind but the one where your worst fears and the dilemmas you're trying to avoid are tackling you back. He only wish he could find the trigger that would cut him from this abstracted vision of the world were he's his own prisonner ; his mind is a cell confining him into wanders only him know how to resolve.