OK so I planned to have this chapter written and posted much sooner than this, but I have had an extremely eventful, busy, roller coaster of a week and this is the first chance I have had to finish it off!
Thank you all sooo much for the amazing response to the last chapter. The reviews were all so detailed and amazing...I was humbled. To recognise individuals would take up so much time I'll simply say THANKYOU and I LOVE YOU ALL. (But I have to say to Cara – your review moved me yet again. And yeah...I did skim very lightly over the NG placement...let's just say Gabi is reeeeeal brave haha. And Meg – you're just a little bundle of awesome – your reviews are a joy!).
Here is chapter 33. It was going to be a short chapter but somehow got longer and longer lol. Oh well. Here goes!
Charli xox
PS. Wish me luck peoples - I have had an amazing opportunity come my way which I have an interview for Tuesday. Keep your fingers, toes and all other extremeties crossed for meeee!!!
Chapter 33
"Knock knock," Troy said softly, a grin on his face as he walked into Gabriella's hospital room, half a dozen brightly coloured balloons bobbing somewhere over his head, the strings attached to the star-shaped weight that was clutched tightly in his hand.
Gabriella looked up at the sound of his voice and opened her mouth to reply, but yawned instead.
"Oh, fine then – I'll just leave shall I?" Troy joked and both Maria and Gabriella laughed.
"Naaah, you'll do," she smirked.
Troy grinned and set the balloons down at the foot of her bed. "These are for you – happy last ever chemo!"
Gabriella returned his smile. "Thanks, Troy – they're awesome."
Nearly three months had passed since Valentine's Day, and Gabriella was in hospital ready for the last round of chemo on her treatment protocol. She still had a barrage of tests and scans to face following this round of treatment, and then radiation therapy to endure, but the end of chemotherapy marked a huge milestone in her treatment – one which she couldn't wait to have behind her. She had had blood tests as well as a bone marrow aspirate and lumbar puncture earlier that day, and was now on the ward awaiting her chemo.
"So," Troy said as he perched himself on the side of her bed and leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead. "You all set?"
Gabriella nodded as Maria busied herself, fluffing the pillows.
"Her blood counts are so good this round that she is at 110 percent of her chemo dose – she's sure going out with a big chemo-bang," Maria explained.
"Yeah," Gabriella chipped in. "Any more chemo and I'll glow!"
Maria and Troy laughed. "Our little glow-worm," Troy joked, wriggling closer to her and pulling her to him. "They should make a t-shirt with that on..."
"Wow Little Miss Spoilt – aren't you lucky?" Kirsten gestured at the balloons with a wink and a grin. Gabriella nodded happily, cozy-ing up to Troy. "Alright missy I need to check your temperature and administer your anti-nausea drugs. Chemo will be ready in a couple of hours."
"Uh huh," Gabriella replied nonchalantly, picking at Troy's fingernails. Even though this was the last time she would have to go through this – hopefully forever – she was still apprehensive. The thought of yet another round of vomiting, diarrhoea, mouth sores, aches and pains and general malaise was almost more than she could bear. The concept of being one step closer to the end of her treatment and beginning to re-build her life – with Troy right by her side – was the one thing that was keeping her in a positive frame of mind.
"Well well well, how's my favourite patient this afternoon?" Dr Zamitt asked with a smile.
"Pretty excited considering the fact that this is my last chemo," Gabriella replied.
"Oh reeeeaaalllyy?" Dr Zamitt feigned ignorance. "Well, if I'd have realised that I would have bought you a present!" he joked.
"You didn't bring me anything?" Gabriella acted shocked. "You'll just have to leave right now, then."
Troy, Maria and Kirsten shook their heads at the double act, laughing.
"Actually, I did bring you something. Somethings really."
"Yeah?" Gabriella raised her brow-bones.
"Mmmhmm," he handed her several papers. "Consent forms for audiology, pathology and medical imaging for all your end-of-chemo scans."
"Oh joy!" Gabriella rolled her eyes, laughing.
"Oh yeah! Once these are all signed, we'll confirm our big date. I'll even come and pick you up if you like – I'll be the handsome old devil with the stethoscope."
Gabriella had tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks by now. To Troy and Maria, that sound was the most precious melody in the whole wide world.
Dr Zamitt gave Gabriella a quick check up before he left, but not before passing on a message.
"Oh, by the way," he stated from the doorway. "Savannah O'Leary was in here last week for her 100 days post-transplant studies. She said to say hi next time you were in, and she will speak to you soon about the belated off-treatment party her parents are organising for her."
"Awesome," Gabriella smiled.
"Thanks Dr Zamitt," Maria said appreciatively as he and Kirsten left to continue their rounds. "Will you two be alright here for a few minutes if I duck down the street and get some dinner for us?" she asked Gabriella and Troy.
"Yes Mom," Gabriella replied.
"Oh, here – I'll give you some money for mine," Troy said as he dug in his pockets for his wallet.
"No, no, no," Maria shook her head. "I'm not taking a cent – this is my treat. To celebrate Gabi's last chemo, and to say thank you to you, Troy, for being here," she smiled at him before kissing Gabriella on the forehead. "I'll be back in a little while."
"So Miss Montez," Troy began. "How does it feel gearing up for this for the last time?"
Gabriella moved in his arms so that she could see his face. She sighed softly before she spoke. "Weird," she answered honestly. "Good weird, though...I guess. It's just like...no matter how bad it makes me feel and no matter how much I've hated it, chemo has been saving my life. It's like a security blanket...once it is gone and I've done the radiation...I'm on my own. No anti-cancer drugs or treatments to keep me safe. It is kind of a scary thought."
Troy leaned down and kissed her head before he replied. "I can imagine it would be a terrifying thought. But you're ready for this, Brie. You're ready to start to put all this behind you and move on with your life. You've been so brave right the way through and now it's time to challenge yourself once more. I know you can do it, babe – you're so strong."
Gabriella nodded. "I know I'm ready...I can't wait for it all to be done. But it's sort of like...I don't know how to explain the feeling..."
"Like your first time in the pool without water wings?" Troy offered.
"Exactly!" Gabriella exclaimed in amazement. "How do you always know precisely what is going on in my head?" she asked, her arms snaking around his waist as she laid her head on his chest.
Troy shrugged with a grin, resting his chin on top of her head. "Aaah, I'm just too good."
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
Kirsten returned, accompanied by a trainee nurse – Tonia – and the chemo trolley a while later. Within ten minutes, the last Vincristine push had been given, and the last bags of IV chemotherapy drugs were hung from her IV pole, which she had affectionately dubbed 'George' at some point during her treatment.
Now she was sleeping soundly, the anti-nausea drugs combined with the chemotherapy exhausting her. Troy had left a little while ago – it was a school night and he had homework still to do – and now Maria was left alone, watching the steady rise and fall of her baby girl's chest as she slept.
The cancer-free future was so close that Maria felt she could almost reach out and touch it. But at the same time, it was so far away. They still had radiation to get through and even though it was supposed to be nowhere near as harsh as the chemo, it was only the lesser of two evils. It was still going to be tough.
Even once the radiation was done and treatment was completely finished, there were regular doctor's visits, check-ups and blood counts to be monitored, not to mention continued physiotherapy sessions to rebuild strength in her muscles, as well as dealing with any late after-effects of chemotherapy and radiation that could crop up at any point in Gabriella's future. Would her kidney's hold up? Would her hearing be spared? Would her bones weaken at a rate comparable to an old lady? And would – as had plagued the back of Maria's mind for so many months – she ever be able to have a family of her own?
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
Gabriella moaned in pain as she felt her body being lifted slightly and leaned forward, a small, cold instrument being placed against several spots on her back before she was gently placed back against her pillows.
The doctor's voice sounded muffled to Gabriella as he spoke to her mother. She managed to catch the words 'fluids' 'up' 'cool' 'down' and 'sleep'. She was vaguely aware of someone – her mother perhaps? – moving around, fixing up her blankets and trying to make her more comfortable. A cool hand against her feverish forehead, a whispered word of comfort in her ear.
Maria hadn't been wrong when she had said Gabriella would be going out with a big chemo bang. This had been her highest dose of chemo yet, and it was hitting her already frail, weakened body hard. Really hard.
In the past 48 hours Gabriella had vomited so much and so hard that she had thrown up her NG tube which had not yet been replaced for fear of a repeat occurrence. Instead, an IV had been placed in her hand so that extra nutrition could be administered whilst chemo and fluids ran through her central line. She had spiked a fever, yet was shivering with chills under piles of blankets and her face had no colour – apart from a feverish flush to her cheeks - her lips grey and her eyes glassy. Every inch of her body ached, white-hot pain racing through her bones and joints, causing blinding agony with every movement.
No amount of pain medication - or any medication for that matter - could change the amount of hurt she was experiencing, and as Maria rubbed her back soothingly – feeling every single vertebra up and down her fragile spine – she desperately repeated over and over in her head that this was the last chemo. The last chemo.
The bedside phone rang suddenly and Maria jumped, grabbing it quickly before it could wake Gabriella.
"Hello?" she answered quietly.
"Hi Maria, how's everything going?"
"Oh, hi Luc. Yeah it's going...well, I'm kind of hard pressed to answer that question without using the words 'huge sucking suck fest' so I might just leave it there."
"That bad, huh?" Lucille Bolton sighed sadly.
"She's so sick, Luc. This would come close to being the sickest I have seen her since she was diagnosed. She's just...it doesn't even look like my girl under all these blankets. I've texted Jayda McKessie and Taylor is going to let the kids know Gabi's not up to visitors right now, just in case they were planning on dropping by after school like they sometimes do."
"Do you want me to keep Troy home tonight?"
Maria smiled to herself as she ran her hand over Gabriella's warm forehead once more. "Luc, Troy isn't just one of the gang. He's family."
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
"Mum warned me she wasn't well...but she's...wow..."Troy trailed off and Maria patted him on the shoulder.
"She's going through the worst of it right now," Maria said gently. "She'll be on the upswing in a few days' time. Just keep reminding yourself of that."
Troy nodded. "Yeah. You're right. So for now we just ride it out with her and try and make her as comfortable as possible?"
Maria nodded, saddened that Troy had now been through this with Gabriella so many times that it was second nature. None of them should ever have had to know how this all worked. No one should. Maria certainly knew she wouldn't wish this kind of knowledge on anyone – not even her worst enemy. Although cancer had given them opportunities and experiences that had shaped their lives, and strengthened them in more ways than they could explain, there were so many dark memories Maria held of the past months that haunted her every time she closed her eyes...she knew it was a journey that would stay with them forever.
Troy handed a gift bag he had forgotten he was holding to Maria. "This is for Gabi from the gang to congratulate her on her last chemo – Taylor organised it. She was going to drop it in herself but she gave it to me when her mom told her Gabi was too sick for visitors. It's probably a good thing you let them know; because the whole gang were talking about coming by this afternoon...I'm not sure that they could have handled seeing her like this."
Maria nodded again. "It's hard. The whole lot of them have done really well so far. I know a lot of people their age would have run a mile and hid from reality rather than faced it head on and stuck by their friends."
"It takes something like this to find out who your real friends are, that's for sure," Troy agreed.
"Sad, but true," Maria sighed. "You know, I wish that none of this had ever happened to Gabriella at all, but if it had to happen, I'm glad that it was here and not in any of the other places we've lived. This is the one place that Gabi has had real friends, who have provided her with the support and strength she needed to help her through the battle."
"I think I can speak on behalf of the entire group when I say that we wouldn't be anywhere else. I can't imagine knowing Gabi was suffering through all this alone and not doing anything about it."
Maria smiled. "And that, Troy, is what sets you apart from the billions of other people in this world."
The two were pulled from their deep and meaningful conversation as the pile of blankets beside them stirred a little, and whimpered.
"Mom...is...Troy?"
Maria folded back the ends of the blankets gently, revealing Gabriella's face. "Troy's here, baby. He's right here with me. Can I get you anything?"
"No," Gabriella whispered. "But Troy..."
Maria looked at the young man and he moved closer to the bed, fishing for Gabriella's hand under the blanket-mountain and looped her cold fingers through his.
"I'm here, Bella," he cooed softly as he stroked her forehead with his free hand. "Do you want us to get you anything? Water, or..."
"Nnn..." Gabriella managed to murmur, which Troy took as a 'no'.
"Ok baby," Troy leaned down and kissed her cheek carefully. "I'll be right here, ok?"
He went to sit back in his chair, but Gabriella gripped his hand tighter. "Nnn..." she murmured again. "Sing..."
Troy looked at Maria, who shrugged and shook her head, not understanding.
"Sing..." Gabriella repeated, her eyes closed.
Troy sat himself on the edge of the bed. "Sing...you want me to sing to you?" he asked.
"Mmm..." she sighed, her face relaxing somewhat.
"Ok..." Troy said, clearing his throat and trying to think fast. "Umm..."
After a moment, he began to sing softly.
"When you're weary...feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side...when times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down...
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down..."
As he clung to her hand, Troy suddenly flashed back to all those months ago, when Gabriella was in the ICU and he had kept vigil – singing to her and spending hour after hour bargaining with God to let her live another day...begging for one more smile, one more laugh, one more hug and one more kiss.
A loan tear slipped from beneath Gabriella's closed lashes and Troy struggled to keep a hold on his emotions as he watched her. He held it together, however, taking a deep breath – his voice cracking only a little.
"When you're down and out...when you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you;
I will take your part...when darkness comes,
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down...
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down..."
Troy braced himself on his hands and leaned over Gabriella, placing his lips against her cheek and kissing it three times. As he pulled back he took another deep breath and sang the final verse of the song.
"Sail on silver girl...sail on by,
Your time has come, to shine;
All your dreams are on their way!
See how they shine...if you need a friend,
I'm sailing right behind –
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down...
Like a bridge over troubled water...I will lay me down."
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
A little over a week later, Gabriella was finally starting to feel a little more like herself. Troy was seeing snippets of her bright personality increasing with every day that passed, and today was her best day yet. She had been up out of bed and walked several laps of the ward, visited the activities room and helped Kylie – the child life therapist – to run a game of life-sized snakes and ladders with some of the younger patients, and watched Pride and Prejudice with Maria.
Dr Zamitt came to see her late in the afternoon with a smile on his face.
"So," he began. "I've made a decision – tomorrow's the big day."
Gabriella nodded, showing she understood his simple message – tomorrow was a full day of testing. Tests which would either confirm that the chemo had done its job and destroyed the cancer it had set out to obliterate, or throw Gabriella's future under a shadow of uncertainty. "Ok. So...what first?"
"We'll start off with the easy stuff – hearing test, bloods and an EKG. Over to clinic after that for a Bone Marrow and Spinal. Then we'll send you down for an MRI after which we'll push the radio-active tracer through your central line ready for your PET scan. You can come back upstairs for a couple of hours while it is absorbed, then back down to medical imaging for the PET scan. The results will be returned over a period of 24-48 hours. Once we have all the results I will have a big meeting with you and your mom and after that – depending on the results – you can go home."
"Sounds like you have it all under control," Gabriella joked weakly.
"I sure do – so it's a date then. I'll pick you up at eight. AM that is," he winked and Gabriella groaned softly. She had been sleeping very restlessly the past few nights and only settling around 6am. An 8am start was going to be a challenge.
Troy couldn't visit that evening – Aunt Gladys had had a fall and Lucille had dragged him off to her place to visit and make sure she was ok. But he called her from the car and she relayed the information about tomorrow's tests. They talked for a while before Gabriella's eyes began to droop.
"You tired babe?" Troy asked.
"How did you know?" Gabriella yawned.
"I can hear it in your voice," Troy smiled to himself He had a knack for interpreting her thoughts, emotions, feelings and moods – even without seeing her face.
"I've had a big day," she replied.
"Tomorrow's going to be even bigger from the sounds of things. You'd better get some rest."
"Uh huh," Gabriella responded drowsily.
"Alright – good luck tomorrow Bella. I'll be thinking of you all day and I'll be up to see you in the night. I think Mom and Dad want to come and see you as well."
"Ok. I'll see you then."
"Counting the seconds. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Sweet dreams..."
"Bye Troy," Gabriella giggled sleepily, before Maria took the phone and hung it up for her. She lay back on the pillows, closing her eyes.
The last thing on her mind before she drifted off into an uneasy sleep was her schedule for tomorrow. Tests and exams usually didn't faze her. But these types of tests were the kind whose result could not be bettered by any amount of study.
And the results of those had the power to determine the rest of her life.
Aaand that's 33! Can anyone say NO.MORE.CHEMO?! Woot! Hope you enjoyed, even though I put Gabi through the wringer yet again. Hope it wasn't too repetitive.
Next up: Scan results and a wish come true...
Review away, peoples! Until next time,
Charli xox
