Ok, so I've realized a few things lately. One is that I'm not going to bother stressing about deadlines for the time being. The chapters will be here when they get here. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant. Some of you know how that is and probably most of you don't. It means I'm tired a lot of the time, pains in various places, most notably the back, and then there's all the stuff that needs to be done for us to be ready. You know I'll never abandon this story, I'm just limiting my own stress a bit. Who knows, updates might not even slow down but if they do... it means nothing.
If updates are too slow, try checking out the Quibbler Awards for some more good reading. You probably won't have time to really vote as they wrap up on September 14th and there are a LOT of fics in the various categories, but there are a lot of fics nominated, a lot of different ships, and one should think they're considered good fics since they're nominated in the first place, no? ;) Link is in my profile.
So, Theo seemed to have listened to him and patched things up with Hermione.
Good. It was what he wanted. He was pleased.
Draco refused to acknowledge that what he was feeling was anything but pleased.
It had taken a few days since Draco's confrontation with Theo, especially Hermione had seemed a bit awkward at first, but now… it just seemed inevitable. Draco had had to change his path to class several times because those two had been flirting in the halls and Hermione had looked so blushing and pleased for herself that Draco had been… pleased as well.
Ok, fine. More like mind-numbingly jealous. He could admit that to himself as long as he didn't have to admit it to anyone else. But at the same time, this was what he wanted to happen and they both seemed happy and so, all was good.
On to the next fairytale that wouldn't include him.
Only… life didn't quite work that way. He would still have to constantly see them in classes, at meals, at school events, around the halls, and even in his common room for the next six months. He had a fair idea that he might go insane from it.
Stories never included that part. The part where life went on in an agonizingly slow pace and you just couldn't do anything about it.
Bah.
He sat scowling at his both least and most favorite Muggleborn witch in Charms, when a theatrical whisper from directly in front of him caught his ear. "Maybe if that Granger would spend more time on taming that horrible hair of hers and less time on being an annoying swot, she could actually get a date…" His eyes widened in surprise and anger and then, without thinking, he reacted, shaking even Blaise from his bored stupor.
Terry Boot, the unfortunate Ravenclaw, who had not been speaking his sarcastic remark about swotty Granger low enough, suddenly found his head shoved down to his desk with such a force that his nose gave a sickening crack and started bleeding all over the place.
The yelp and incoherent angry accusations turned the classroom temporarily chaotic, until Flitwick managed to send Boot off to the hospital wing and ask the class what had happened as he had had his back turned at the time.
"Ask Malfoy, Sir," Michael Corner, Boot's friend who had been sitting right beside him, resentfully said.
Flitwick turned his gaze to Draco with both exasperation and disappointment evident on his face. "Mr. Malfoy?"
Draco shrugged. "He's a bit clumsy, Professor," he said in a frosty voice. "Guess he slipped."
Corner seemed about to object when Blaise interjected, barely stifling a yawn in time. "Yeah, I saw it too."
Again, Corner opened his mouth, but for the second time someone else beat him to it. "Boot should have known better than to tempt the fates with such a stunt," Theo was calmly saying. "I guess he's learned to just sit still and be quiet now."
"Yes," a quiet voice that made Draco's eyes widen added. "We noticed, too. Didn't we, Ron?"
Potter. Draco was instantly feeling blistering resentment surging through him. Who was Potter to think he needed any help from him? They had it all covered, no need for the Boy Who Needed To Die to interfere in his annoying better-than-thou way.
Corner was now looking annoyed but resigned. With Theo being Head Boy and Potter being every teacher's pet, there was really no contradicting both of them.
"I guess," Weasley reluctantly replied. "I suppose we'd better talk to him about how not to break bones in class."
"Coming from you, that wouldn't mean much, Weasley," someone said from the back and almost everyone sniggered.
Professor Flitwick stared at the unlikely assortment of people giving testimony to the same lie. Draco didn't particularly care whether he bought it, though, so he just snuck another glance at Hermione instead. She was sitting ramrod straight, staring directly ahead with bright blushing cheeks.
She must have heard. She must know. She seemed humiliated at the whole thing. Draco found this odd, because she'd never seemed to care much what people said about her, so he eventually concluded that it couldn't have been Boot's stupid remark eliciting this response.
But, of course, half the class had seen what Draco had done and would probably soon find out the reason. She mustn't want that—or rather, he knew she didn't want that. He just hadn't thought of it. Momentarily, he hadn't thought at all, but had just felt a flash of rage and had acted impulsively. Stupidly. He had to remember that she didn't want him to do things like this. She didn't want him to do anything.
He sighed and buried his face in his hands, ignoring Blaise's puzzled and speculative look. Blaise would be a bitch about this, Draco was sure. He would prod and poke for an explanation and then mercilessly tease.
Flitwick apparently decided to let them get away with it, because suddenly class was over and Draco was as free as he had been before. He was almost sorry about that fact.
He packed his things and tried to leave, but was soon caught up to by Theo.
"You can't do things like that, Draco," he said without preamble.
Draco winced. "I know," he muttered. "It won't happen again, all right?"
He tried to walk away, but Theo stopped him again. "Just be more careful. Not being expelled for half a school year shouldn't be that difficult."
Expelled? Draco glanced at Theo. He had just accidentally invaded Theo's turf and then Theo's concern was that Draco might get expelled? "Don't worry about me," he muttered. "I always seem to survive, don't I?"
This time he managed to take about three steps before someone else blocked his way. Granger. He had to suppress a groan. He couldn't talk to her. He took great pains to avoid talking to her. This was beyond horrible because… he didn't want to talk to her.
Throwing an inner tantrum somehow helped a bit.
"What the hell was that?" she asked in a low hiss, looking about as happy about what he'd done as he'd figured she would be.
"What was what, Granger?" he asked, desperately scanning the other students for Blaise.
"You know what!"
"Ah, that," he muttered. How the hell did she know from her front row seat, anyway? "It was just… nothing, ok? He was annoying me."
"So you break his nose?" Her voice was rising a bit, and he noticed her eyes had grown big and round with incredulity.
He didn't know what to say and helplessly looked to Theo for aid. Theo pretended not to notice, looking everywhere but at them. Crap. What a coward. "It's easily fixed. I bet you can't even tell it was broken anymore. Madam Pomfrey is good with bones."
"What's really going on, Malfoy?" she demanded.
He knew why she was asking this. She expected him to lose these feelings. And he would. Eventually. Just not yet. He could imagine that the prospect of it not happening was actually frightening her. He wondered if she was afraid he would try to pursue her. He knew she was very uncomfortable with having to reject him, and she was probably afraid she had to do it again because he hadn't gotten the message. "Nothing is going on," he said in a very tired voice. "He was being a plonker and I overreacted, all right? But sensing your gratitude, it won't happen again, I promise."
He finally located Blaise, who had apparently lingered and was emerging from the classroom much later than everyone else. Quickly, he slipped to the other boy's side.
Even knowing what Blaise would put him through, it was still better than talking to her.
Blaise was looking exceedingly amused. Of course he was. Blaise always loved it when Draco was miserable.
"So…" he said, making Draco groan inwardly. "You probably know what I'm going to ask."
"Just get it out of your system," Draco moaned.
Blaise shrugged and grinned. "Ok, then. You going to come down to the common room for the early Christmas celebrations tomorrow?"
Draco's confused look must have been truly humorous, because Blaise laughed out loud.
"Hadn't planned on it," Draco muttered.
"Of course you hadn't," Blaise said, sounding a bit annoyed behind his amusement. "You prefer to mope and brood and sit around pouting about your own inactivity instead of trying to go for what you want."
Draco didn't argue. In a way it was all true, but he just didn't know how to fix it in a way that wouldn't just be stupid and lead nowhere. "What's your point?"
"Come down tomorrow night and I won't ever mention what happened today."
When put like that, Draco had to agree to it. After all, what was a few hours at a dumb party compared to weeks in hell being mocked for his more unfortunate inclinations?
Hermione felt ready to pull out her own hair. Gratitude? His little stunt in there was only about to make people speculate even more about their relationship and… and… and… breaking someone's nose? Boot's remark hadn't even been half as bad as several that Malfoy had made himself! Some of them even fairly recently!
A low chuckle brought her out of her state of fretting. She turned her glare on Theo, who was the one apparently laughing at her, although he only looked partly amused. He raised his hands as if in surrender. "Hey, I didn't do anything."
"No, you didn't!" she growled, still not entirely calm. "Because you're sane. Sane people don't become violent like that out of nowhere. What was he thinking?"
Theo shrugged. "Perhaps I should have become violent. What Boot said wasn't very nice. I do believe that I'm supposed to act in your defense in such instances."
Hermione snorted. "Please. I've had worse. From Malfoy too! What are people going to think now?"
Theo's lip tightened in a concerned frown. "Hopefully nothing. It will be hard on Draco if they think he still likes you."
She groaned at the thought. "Hard on him? What about me? I wish he'd just… go away. Far away. Really far away. Leave me alone. Forever."
Theo looked down. "It would be easier for you, wouldn't it? If he got expelled or let his father take him back… or if he died."
Shock didn't begin to describe what Hermione was feeling. "Of course not!" she sharply reproached the Slytherin Head Boy. "How dare you even suggest that I would want—"
"It's the only things that could make him leave school at this point, Hermione," Theo softly interrupted. "And although I didn't mean to suggest that that's what you meant, I do mean to suggest that it would be easier for you… It would even be somewhat easier for me, too, wouldn't it?"
Hermione violently shook her head. "Don't be stupid!" she hissed. "I don't want for anyone to turn evil, die or get expelled. It's not worth that. I don't care that much about what people think, I just want some peace!"
She turned her back on Theo and stalked away, not noticing that he was considering her thoughtfully, trying to work out her response.
"It's not so bad, is it?"
Draco glowered at Blaise. It wasn't that he didn't like parties. He used to love parties. He was usually a fairly outgoing person who, among other things, loved fun and attention, two things readily had at parties.
But he wasn't interested in attention this time around and everything earlier deemed 'fun' he now just found lame, so he was sitting in his chair, counting the seconds until he could leave, and wondering why Blaise had been so adamant that he join. Probably because misery liked company, because no matter what he said, Blaise wasn't having any fun either. He was drinking much more heavily than he usually was and he didn't even glance at the girls. In fact, when a cute girl subtly expressed interest, he rudely snubbed her.
It was well beyond Draco what they were even doing here, but he was enduring. He just refused to pretend to be having any fun that he wasn't having.
Eventually the common room was completely full and seating became a problem as it always did. Draco didn't particularly care. He could always get a seat. He was high enough in the hierarchy that just a look would make anyone scurry away, even now.
So his surprise when he was suddenly made a seat for some fifth year girl was considerable. The audacity was unheard of. A quick glance around showed him that he wasn't the only victim to this kind of behavior, as a whole group of girls had apparently decided that their male housemates were being rude in not sharing their seats.
From his own seat, Blaise sniggered. He didn't have anyone on his lap, though, and Draco had to wonder whether they had avoided him, taking his current mood into consideration, or whether he had simply pushed the poor girl off.
An action that Draco was seriously considering himself as he was in no mood for these kinds of games.
"Oh, splendid! I get the one that looks murderous!" the girl complained.
At this Blaise's snigger turned into a cough as he choked on his spirits.
Draco wasn't aware he'd been scowling, but now his scowl deepened. "Do I know you?" he coldly asked.
The girl shrugged. "No, but my sister is in your year, I believe."
"Ah, so you know me," he muttered, taking another sip of his drink. "How charming."
"Everyone knows you, Malfoy. You're the source of much great entertainment."
Draco narrowed his eyes and looked once more at the girl. Her hair was long, reaching the middle of her back, and a light brown, and she had light blue eyes. It wasn't a very striking combination by any means, but she was pretty enough. And she reminded him of someone.
"Daphne's sister, I take it?" he asked.
She nodded in agreement. "Yes. People do say we look alike. I don't see it, though."
Draco shrugged and looked away. Fine, so he wouldn't push her off, but he didn't particularly care to socialize any more with her. The girl didn't seem to mind but entered into an animated discussion with someone else.
Blaise was still drinking and Draco had to wonder how much he'd had. Blaise didn't usually drink. He used to say that drinking made people stupid, and he'd leave it to other blokes to get drunk and then steal their girls while they were busy acting like complete arseholes.
Of course, tonight he wasn't interested in stealing any girls. He seemed much more interested in being the arsehole. This was wrong.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" an annoyed female voice was bluntly voicing Draco's concerns.
Blaise twisted his lips in a sarcastic grimace. "Tracey… concerned, are we? I'm touched." He took another swig and Draco winced, having a strange premonition that Blaise wasn't about to do this gracefully.
Crap. This might not be pretty.
Draco looked away, unable to watch anymore of this. It seemed so painfully familiar to him. This bit he could understand, and he hated the certainty that his friend was about to receive a very painful rejection.
After a few moments the silence from them prompted him to turn his head back and his jaw dropped.
