Chapter 3.5: Zako Zako Hour
A boulder rolled away, revealing not the normal hosts of the Zako Zako Hour, but a trio of Pawn Leo, each one bearing the microphones used by the hosts.
"Surprise! The Pawn Leo with the red microphone said.
The Pawn Leo with a blue microphone said, "Today we bring you…"
"Something different!" the Pawn Leo with the yellow microphone said.
They struck poses. "The Pawn Pawn Hour! Tada!"
There came no response to this. The Pawn Leos began to sweat.
"What are we supposed to do now?" Red Mic asked.
"I told you this wouldn't work without an act, Pawn!" Yellow Mic cried.
"We don't need an act!" Blue Mic cried, "Those Zakos just stand around and do nothing, Pawn!"
"No, no!" Red Mic cried, "We've gotta try something! How about…acrobatics?"
With cries of "Hup-hup!" The Pawn Leos attempted to jump up and do flips in the air. They could barely jump off the ground. They began to sweat again.
"Maybe we could try to sing," Red Mic suggested, "Mi-mi-mi-mi!"
The Pawn Leos sang, "Zako Soldiers aren't so bright, we can beat them them we fight!"
"If you're wondering why we're doing all this," Red Mic said, "My comrade here will be happy to fill you in!"
"The truth is," Blue Mic said, "Pawns are much braver, and much smarter than Zakos!"
"We're head and shoulders above those clowns!" The Pawns declared, picturing themselves standing atop the normal hosts.
"Absolutely right!" Yellow Mic agreed.
"We're much braver than Zakos!" Blue Mic went on, "And we can take much more punishment! In fact, we only have one small vulnerability!"
"If our card is removed and our true identity is revealed," Yellow Mic cried, "Then we're defeated, and we turn back into dice, you see? We've been looking for a way to overcome this weakness, but we haven't had any breakthroughs yet," He paused, looking thoughtful. "Uh, maybe I shouldn't have admitted that last part…"
Red Mic and Blue glared at him. "No kidding, Sherlock! Ya think?"
Red Mic and Blue Mic gave Yellow Mic a punch in the face, causing him to turn back into a die with a puff of smoke and a cry of "Pawn!"
"…Oops!" The two hosts gulped, sweating.
Red Mic clear his throat. "Moving right along, we have an update on the Zako situation."
"That's right!" Blue Mic said, "Those fools are being washed away by the River of Mmns!"
"Let explain about the River of Mmns!" Red Mic began.
"Hey, I'm the narrator, I'll do the explanation!" Blue Mic interrupted. He pointed at a few Mmns floating nearby. "Now these, as you can plainly see, are Mmns!" He snapped his fingers and an image of the torrent Zapper's gang ended up in appeared. "And this is the River of Mmns! End of explanation."
"That's it?" Red Mic asked incredulously, "For that, I let you steal the spotlight? Any half-baked Zako could have given a better explanation than that!"
Red Mic punched Blue Mic, causing him to revert to a die with a pained cry of "Pawn!"
Red Mic looked at what he had done. Now he was the only one left. Chuckling sheepishly, he decided to move on.
"Anyway, the least powerful creature is the Mmn," He said, "But sometimes, the Mmns gather to form a flow like a river! So, we call it the River of Mmns! And those Zakos were swept away by it!" He then noticed that an Mmn was hovering around him. "Hey, get outta here!" He tried to wave it away, but his hands went right through the Mmn, as it was mostly immaterial. "I'm trying to do a show!" He accidentally tripped over the die that was Blue Mic and fell over. With a "Pawn!" He became a die.
There was a pause.
"And that completes our show!" Red Mic cried helplessly. "Anybody still out there?"
"Well, would you be?" Blue Mic asked.
There was another pause.
"No!" All three dice cried as another boulder fell down in front of them.
