*rushes to FFn to post* I'm soooo sorry for not posting yesterday! Hope this one makes makes up for it...

Maybe this chapter will give you a bigger insight about Bella's character in the story?


20. AUGUST 15

Finally able to adjust myself here, I go to my usual morning rituals.

First things first, early in the morning, I start up my laptop and open my blog.

I tag the new post to 'Thoughts'. I'm not sure how many people puts time to read my shit, but at least I have a place to record my thoughts, right?

In my latest entry, I write:

How to Attain Perfect Happiness

Today's my official second day on vacation. I didn't realize flying to another place without knowing a clue about it is really hard. It's like high school all over again, and I have to adjust to everything once more. It's terrifying and exciting at the same time. My problem is, will I survive? Yes, I will. I have to, that's what my therapist told me.

Anyways… enough with that. Let's go back to the title at hand.

Just like what I said, my therapist told me to take vacation and breathe some fresh air. Apparently, air in the states is so polluted I have to fly to another country to have it fresh. *blank face* Wait, no, seriously, I get her. It's kind of a fresh air to me, going here in the Philippines.

I digress.

See, she also adviced me that, as I take my vacay, I should take time so I can find the happiness she said I "deserve". That's a hard one. For me, happiness is like growing up. It slowly takes a lot to get there, but when you're finally there, the next day you're going to miss it and regret you didn't spend time enjoying it as much as possible 'cause you thought it'll be forever. With a snap, it disappears. Trust me, I've experienced that.

"Oops," I say, deleting the last sentence. I almost forgot my therapist is reading my blog posts. She told me to let it serve as an outlet, but prevent myself from getting too far.

And then I continue typing.

So emo, right?

But this time, I'm gonna give it a chance. Will I be able to attain happiness? Let's hope so.

-B


TOODLES!