This is the chapter that justifies the M rating so if that kind of thing disturbs you then you might want to skip it. Also, I heart Baljik. He's probably the funniest character in the show. So, whatever is said in this chapter, I want to make it clear that I am NOT a Baljik hater. Now on to the violence!

Chapter 4

Charlene left Howard's office after she had finished filling out the questionnaire. She had come to the government base with Howard in his car. That probably wasn't great for national security, but he had insisted. So now she would have to wait for him to finish his shift before he could drive her home.

Howard read through Charlene answers thoroughly, considered their implications, and then stapled them into a neat pile and returned them to his desk. He could see himself in the reflective surface of his computer screen: a large man with wide, muscular, shoulders, a thick neck and a strong jaw. His hair was brown and parted neatly to the side, an aspect of his appearance which stood out in stark contrast with the untidy bristles that where growing on his wide chin. A sadistic smirk spread over his face, and suddenly he looked dangerous. Nothing at all like the scholarly and meticulous government official that he had been a few moments before in the Presence of Charlene.

His wicked grin broadened. He had a plan for Doofenshmirtz.

...

Doofenshmirtz was still sitting against one of the walls, crunched into a terrified fetal position and weeping softly into his knees when he heard that ominous door swing open. He looked up, not bothering to wipe the tear tracks off of his cheeks as a large man in a government issued uniform and a suit case entered the room.

"I fucked your wife, Doofenshit," said the man as he open the suit case. There was a wicked gleam in his eye that was almost lecherous, as he removed a heavy steel hammer from the case's confines.

Heinz cowered pressing himself as closely as he could against the opposite wall. He found it statistically very unlikely that the man who was about to torture also happened to be fucking Charlene, but it was still quite insulting. And "Doofenshit"? Really? Yea, that was mature.

"I fucked your wife," he repeated as he grew closer wielding the steel weapon in one of his burly hands. He lifted it high as though prepared to bring it down hard on Heinz's forehead. "And you know what...I'm gonna do it again."

He brought the hammer down not on Heinz's right knee, shattering his knee cap and the bones on the hand that was resting there. Heinz screamed. Fresh tears spilled over his cheeks, and down his long nose.

"Headquarters has knowledge of your association with the terrorist organization known as LOVEMUFFIN," explained the man very professionally. His tone might have put Doofenshmirtz at ease if it wasn't for that insane smirk that was spreading slowly over the man's thin lips. "So your going to tell me exactly who they are and where they are...that is unless you want me to smash that ugly nose of yours with this hammer. It's your choice."

"O-OK," stuttered Doofensmirtz between terrified sobs. "OK not a p-problem. I'll tell you everything you want-Just please don' t hurt me anymore."

Quickly, Heinz began to reel off every member of the organization he could think of and their precise location. Despite his many flaws he did have an excellent memory. When he had finished he looked up at his tormentor, who was still standing over him wielding the weapon, he hoped very much that that insane glint in the man's eyes might have vanished, but it hadn't. If anything, it had intensified.

The man clocked Doofenshmirtz in the face with one of his large fists, blackening is left eye. Then he took hammer and cracked him in the nose with it.

Heinz bent his head forward cradling his bleeding face to his chest as he continued to sob.

"Tell the truth, Heinzy," the man taunted.

"I-I am telling the truth!" shouted Doofensmirtz desperately.

The man fiddled with the hammer a bit, twirling it in his large hands.

"Like the hammer, I got the idea from 'Pan's Laberith'," he said, placing it back inside of his briefcase and retrieving a second weapon. "And I got this idea from your ex-wife."

The man removed his hand from the suit cast. He was now holding a handful of sharp, metal, pins.

Heinz's eyes got very wide when he saw the man's newest weapons glinting ominously in the distance. He began to tremble violently.

"That's right, your a Trypanophobic, aren't you you damn German bastard," said the man his voice was virtually dripping with anticipation.

"How do you know that?," demanded Heinz. "Nobody knows that!...except for..."

The last word to that sentence was "Charlene", but Doofenshmirtz couldn't bring himself it say it. His heart was breaking...again. It had been broken many times, but it still hurt. Doofenshmirtz deteriorated further, and as the man approached him wielding the razor sharp pins he began to plead.

"Don't stick me," Heinz sobbed. "Please, please, please, don't stick me. I'll tell you ev-OW! OWWW!"

The man had pulled Doofenshmirtz's arm out and driven the silver spike into the crook of his elbow. Doofenshmirtz began to sheik but this time he didn't stop. The thing was lodged in his skin, actually embedded in his skin, around his veins and his muscles and his bones. A wave of nausea come over him and he struggled to stay conscious.

"OK OK!" shouted Heinz frantically. "I'll tell you what you who was really involved."

"Finally!" spat the man crossing his arms angrily. He crossed his arms.

"OK so...," Heinz mind began to race frantically, and suddenly he found that he was spewing out a bunch of random names of people that he had met in passing. "So...it was Bow Husten and Arty Cutcher and Candace Flynn and Marten Exaveir and...and...Baljik the Indian kid!"

"Baljik the Indian Kid?" the man repeated curiously saying the words "Baljik the Indian kid" as though it where some kind of gang title. "Tell me more about this 'Baljik the Indian Kid'."

"He is Indian and he is a kid," replied Heinz simply. "H-he's completely responsible for everything LOVEMUFFIN has done-He orchestrated everything!"

"Oh," replied the man, and he nodded and walked from the room.