Time flies when you're having... writer's block and babies. And buying new gadgets so you can more easily write everywhere. MSI Wind U100 = yummy!
I appreciate all of your praise, thoughts and con-crit and I want to thank you for it! But to those of you concerned about the length: You can't make me end it or draw it out, so unless you just want to upset me? Let's just agree to disagree. Also, remember, it seems longer because of the wait between updates. Maybe take a break from the story and try again once it has a bigger "buffer" for you to consume. Or, if it's simply not your thing anymore, I won't get mad at you for not reading, but you don't really have to tell me if you stop. I don't expect anyone to love everything I write.
I don't have an estimate of chapters (due to them being divided on word count rather than content), but it's progressing. Currently writing a really difficult scene. Difficulty = importance in this fic, and I've been wrestling this scene for, oh, more than a month now...
I now have Twitter, because I am sheep. If you follow AkashaTheKitty, you can see how scatterbrained I am... in real time! XD
Hermione paced back and forth outside of the deceptive stone wall that signaled the entrance to the Slytherin common room. Where was he? Asking a younger Slytherin to fetch him had probably been a mistake, but damn it, she was not going back in there again. Not on her life!
When Draco emerged, raising an eyebrow at her, she mentally swore up a storm. Damn it!
"Theo wasn't in?" she made a point of asking.
"Apparently not," he replied. "Funny how you always seem to go for him first, though."
"Well, he is the Head Boy," she retorted. "You'll never be more than second."
He glared at her. "Was there anything in particular you wanted?" he asked. "Or were you just looking for someone to snog you? I'm afraid I'm a little busy for that today."
"No doubt," she muttered, annoyed at the odd twinge she felt at that particular retort. "Then let's be quick about it." She reached into her bag and counted out six scrolls and thrust them at him. "New schedules for Slytherin, effective immediately. I've already covered Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and I'll do Ravenclaw on my way up, but just figured you could do something to help me out and hunt down your own prefects."
She turned her back on him and walked away.
Deep in thought, mentally scolding herself for letting such a git get to her, she made her way back along the twisted underground corridors to where the classrooms began again. She hadn't heard anyone coming up behind her so she was more than a little surprised—to be followed by angry and, if she had to be completely honest, a little scared—when she was suddenly shoved into a classroom and heard the door slam shut behind her.
She stumbled and then gained her footing and swirled around to give them a piece of her mind and possibly a piece of her wand, when she saw who it was, leaning against the door.
"Malfoy? What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"You really ought to be more careful down here."
"The only one assaulting me down here is you!"
"And you make it damn easy to boot."
"Would you care to explain to me just why you're looking for me to hex you into oblivion?"
His lip twisted sardonically. "You honestly feel threatened by me?"
"Then what is this about?"
"About you being bloody stupid!"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Adding to the list now? That's lovely, Malfoy. Really. Done yet?" She tried to go around him, but he didn't budge and she was still a bit hesitant in getting too close to him.
"Potter sought me out and chatted me up," he conversationally said. "You know, I think that boy's dating the wrong Weasley. But other than that, he said you were upset by what I said to you."
Hermione felt her face burn with embarrassment. She was going to hex Harry for this. "I was angry about what you said."
"No, I think you were upset."
She came up with a few new choice names for him in her head. "I was annoyed."
"Deny it all you want," he said, sounding rather annoyed himself. "But I know for a fact that you let me get to you. How stupid is that?"
What was this? Couldn't he just leave well enough alone? "Why are you yelling at me about it?"
"Because you should know better, Granger!"
She made a frustrated sound. "What exactly is it I should know?" she asked. "Because to tell you the truth, I'm lost! If you want me to know something, then say it!"
He growled back at her, but then visibly collected himself. "You've had enough boys be attracted to you to know that what I said to you about looks was nothing but dragon dung."
"So maybe I was feeling a little insecure." She crossed her arms defensively over her chest. "I'm over it! Harry had no right to stir things up. Are we done yet?"
"No, I actually had something else I wanted to say to you."
Oh, this was going to be a load of fun, she could tell. "Which is…?"
"You know I can't…" He stopped, seemingly trying to find the right words.
She took a little comfort in his discomfort as her nausea threatened to overtake her. "Can't… what? I never knew you were such a wuss, Malfoy. I mean, obviously I knew, but—"
"Dating you is not an option. Ever," he interrupted.
Hermione felt a bit like he'd Stupefied her. Talk about being blunt. "I don't recall asking that of you," she finally managed. "In fact, I don't recall ever doing or saying anything to make you believe I wanted it." Except that one time she had pretty much asked him to sleep with her. The nausea grew stronger.
He shrugged. "Theo has been giving me flak for misleading you."
Theo? How was this any of Theo's business? "Right. Glad that's all cleared up, then."
She was confused that Draco had decided to actually follow her and corner her to tell her that he'd never date her. She didn't want to date him and, besides, she already knew that. She'd always known. He'd been brought up to find her inferior and it was instilled in him that he must marry a pureblood witch to carry on the purity of his line.
A few months of lusting after a Muggleborn witch wouldn't change that.
She really did know that.
She'd honestly always known.
There was no need to tell her.
Draco watched Hermione scowl at him. She only seemed surprised that he'd told her, not that he felt this way. It grated. He wanted so much to shake her and ask her what the hell she thought of him to not even be surprised, but doing so would be rather odd, considering that he'd be contradicting himself. Again. Besides, she had already told him what she thought of him, hadn't she?
But she could at least look a little more like she cared. Like she'd want it to be different. Like she wanted to be with him.
Didn't she understand that it was hard for him to stay away? That he wanted her so much he could hardly see straight? Cornering her at all had been a bad idea, but he didn't like the idea of her being upset that he'd said some thoughtless things. He was a stupid sod and she should remember that.
Considering how she was looking at him, she remembered that very well.
Too well.
Here he went, contradicting himself again.
"What I said to you in your room—" he began.
"I said I was over it!" She didn't seem to have a lot of patience with him today. Who could blame her? He really was saying all the wrong things lately.
"Yeah, but, the difference between what you said and what I said—"
"Was that what you said was incredibly shallow?" she mock-guessed.
"Hey, calling me a prat isn't exactly deep, you know!" he objected with a scowl of his own. "But the difference was that your words contained everything you thought of me. It is possible to see someone's flaws and still like them. Nobody is perfect."
She snorted and looked down her nose at him. "You don't like me. You want me."
"One doesn't exclude the other." He only wished it did.
"In your case it does. If you had really liked me, you would have backed off long ago."
He closed his eyes. "I'm trying to back off."
"Yeah?" she asked, walking very close to him and lowering her voice. "And if I come to your room tonight? Will you back off then?"
His eyes flew open and he stared at her, unable to reply. With a small smirk, she reached behind him, opened the door, and then she was gone.
He knew she wasn't going to come to his room; really, he did! There was no way in hell she would ever do that again.
He still had problems falling asleep that night, though.
The witch had no mercy.
"So!" Blaise plonked down in the chair facing Draco's. "Funny thing has happened. Tracey decided to give me a new chance and everything. She's very guarded about it, of course, but she's amenable."
"That's good," Draco cautiously replied.
"Yep," Blaise said, leisurely stretching. "And in time for Valentine's and everything."
"I'm glad."
"See, the thing is… she wouldn't." Blaise regarded Draco shrewdly.
"Hm?" Draco found it best to play innocent. Or safest, rather. He really liked his limbs.
"So, what did you do? Threaten her or bribe her?" Blaise calmly asked.
Crap. Draco was in trouble. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm not sure I like the idea of you threatening her." Blaise was wearing a slight frown.
"I didn't threaten her." That much was true.
"Good! I really didn't like that thought, wanting her to eventually carry my babies and all. You understand."
"Oh, and you like the idea of me bribing her?"
"Yeah, it's brilliant!" Blaise was suddenly very animated.
Draco stared, feeling like he missed something. "Say what?"
"It gives her an incentive to be around me that she didn't have before. And that whole new no-sex rule is awesome as well, because she might realize she likes me outside of bed. We'll have sex again once that happens."
"Uh… ok." Draco felt like he'd just entered an alternate reality.
"It actually might work out better than before," Blaise continued, "with her not fighting it every step of the way. I'm finally getting a fair fighting chance!"
"Wait… so… you're actually happy that I, uh, supposedly bribed her?"
Blaise snorted and dismissively waved a hand. "You know you did. Was it money? Yeah, I bet it was. Tracey doesn't have a lot of it although she'd like to. I can pay you back. I still have access to Mum's funds."
"Don't you even care about why she's with you?" Draco incredulously asked.
Blaise stared at Draco as if he'd just grown another head. "You've been spending too much time with Gryffindors and the like, mate. I'm getting what I want. Who cares about why? Nobody forced her to take your money, right? She's getting what she wants; I'm getting what I want; everyone is happy."
"But—"
"I'm still getting my chance. It's all I need."
Draco hesitated. "So… we're good?"
"We're good."
Well. That had been easier than Draco had thought it would be.
"But as for how you're handling the situation with Granger..." Blaise continued.
And suddenly Draco remembered why Blaise being mad at him could be a good thing and he was fondly remembering the days when Blaise wouldn't talk to him at all.
"Why won't anybody tell me who it is?" Harry whined rather ineffectually at Hermione.
"It's none of your business, Harry," Hermione prudently pointed out. She should have known that doing her homework in the common room would be less than productive. "Who Ron likes is Ron's business."
"But I'm his best friend! Don't I deserve to know?" Harry continued.
"No."
"That's not very generous of you."
Hermione wearily rubbed her temples. "And you've been bothering us for how long now? Get over it already."
"I just want to know who it is I'm supposed to be nice to." Now he was trying to reason? Too bad that his logic was lacking.
"Everyone," she replied. "Be nice to everyone."
Harry snorted. "They don't make it easy, you know."
"I know. But aren't you supposed to be better than them?"
"Is she in our year? At least tell me if she's in our year."
Hermione rolled her eyes. Right. Because potentially narrowing it down to four girls, one of which was Millicent Bulstrode, would not be giving it all away. "No."
"No, you won't tell me? Or no, she isn't?" Harry kept on fishing for clues.
She glared at him. "No, keep your nose out of everyone's business!"
"But—"
"What are you going to do if we tell you? Go talk to her? Reveal Ron's personal feelings without his consent, completely embarrassing him in the process?"
Harry squirmed a little under her glare. "Oops."
"How could you?"
"I just wanted to know what he—"
Hermione pointedly stood and began gathering her things. "Well, guess what? You don't get to know everything! Not about Ron and not about me. Go deal with your own life instead."
"Hey, I talked to Ginny, apologized even, but now she says she's not sure she wants me back."
There was a short awkward silence at this revelation. Hermione hadn't really known that Harry was the one on the spot now and she was sorry for her friend, but he had sort of brought it on himself with his hesitation. Any self-respecting woman would have doubts after the kind of treatment Harry had subjected Ginny to lately.
"Well, then…" she finally said. "Figure that out instead of sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong!"
"But I already tried!"
She inwardly groaned. "That doesn't mean you don't have to try harder. Make up your mind whether you want her or not and then act properly on it!"
Harry sighed and apparently decided to abandon the subject of his girlfriend. "My own relationship notwithstanding, I just care about both of you. I don't like how I feel like I don't know what's going on with either of you these days."
Hermione softened a little. "Nothing is going on, really. I'm sure Ron will tell you if anything important happens."
"And you?"
"I told you about Theo, didn't I?"
Harry curtly nodded in acknowledgment. "What about this thing with Malfoy?"
Hermione spent a few seconds gaping like a fish. "There is no thing!"
"Why did you get so upset if he just insulted you a little?" he asked.
She floundered a little before exclaiming, "Because it's that time of the month!"
That shut him up like nothing else would and Hermione was glad she had such a good excuse. Even if it was a lie. But she had to say something, didn't she?
Who needed sanity when they had justifications like that?
"You're actually beginning to believe you have a shot, aren't you?" Theo's lips twisted in that sardonic way of his.
Draco sighed. Back to that. "You know it doesn't matter."
"If you're so concerned about the money you could lose by marrying someone ineligible, why not just make the other sacrifice?" Theo very calmly asked.
Draco did a double-take. "You… you know about that?"
