I'm not very SRS BSNS. Actually, a lot of the time I'm very tongue-in-cheek. Just thought I'd randomly put that out there.
A little more than 200,000 words in. Wow. Ending it before 250,000 words might be a bit too ambitious (although you never know), but I really, really doubt it'll be 300,000 words considering what's left. And no sequels or prequels or any other crud after that. That'll be it. I hope that helps anyone who's been asking for an estimate, at least a little bit.
Blaise was whistling. It was aggravating. Draco hadn't regained his friend as much as regained his eternal nuisance. He wasn't the only nuisance, though. Their common room was being transferred into some hideous abomination that should make any self-respecting Slytherin wince.
It seemed like they were out of self-respecting Slytherins.
"Would you please stop?" Draco finally snapped.
Blaise grinned. "I can't help it! It's Valentine's Day!"
As if he really needed a reminder with those awful pink streamers floating about. Who'd come up with this, anyway? "You never cared much for it before!" he objected. "Nobody really did. Why is it suddenly such a big deal?" He eyed a particularly horrible streamer with disgust.
"Because Tracey agreed to spend it with me!" Blaise beamed.
Draco scowled. It was nauseating. He knew he should probably be happy for his friend, but he couldn't summon the goodwill.
"Say," Blaise continued, still annoying as ever, "wouldn't it be nice if you had a date too? Oh, wait, you do! With galleons! Well, take care, I hear they're a bit inconsistent in their affections, easily transferring them from one to another and all."
Draco rolled his eyes. "I do have a date," he said, getting up. "With the library. You know, studying, while ponces like you make fools of themselves."
"Yes, because studying keeps you warm at night."
"It does when you need work to keep a roof over your head," Draco muttered.
"Wait, what was that?" Blaise's interest was obviously piqued.
Draco rolled his eyes. "It's still a few years before I get my inheritance, remember? Unless I marry right away and I sort of don't plan to."
"Damn, I thought for a second that you were beginning to make sense."
Sense, indeed! "Yes, I could see that. Sorry to disappoint."
Besides, Blaise left out the part where Granger would never have gone for it anyway. So, really, what would the point be of making huge, life-altering decisions?
Hermione made a narrow escape from her common room. She wasn't really that fond of Valentine's Day celebrations. It was stupid and overblown and just another excuse for the shops to sell things with tacky hearts on them.
Besides, she was deeply traumatized from making a fool of herself over Gilderoy Lockhart five years ago.
Deeply traumatized.
But mostly she wasn't in the mood to sit around watching everyone being so… coupled.
Studying seemed safer.
That was, studying seemed safer until she got to the library and noticed who was already there.
Well, it was a big library. Maybe she could find a table somewhere in the back and nobody would have to be the wiser. At least she might be allowed to ignore him in peace. After all, they weren't even the only ones here. A handful of people had decided to study to pass the day.
They were just the only ones that wouldn't have to leave by eight when the library closed. The perks of being 'authority figures' and all.
Naturally, this meant that she had to leave by eight as well. She couldn't imagine being alone with Draco in this big, dark, empty library.
Actually, she could, and that was why she couldn't stay.
Damn, she'd planned on staying until bedtime to avoid the celebrations in her common room.
She found a table at the back, sat down, and began preparing, but she hadn't even figured out whether she wanted to study for Arithmancy or Potions first before she felt a presence and heard a bag being deposited on the floor with a loud thunk.
"I can't concentrate," Malfoy said, sitting down uninvited. "It's your fault."
"I can't bloody well hide out in my room all the time," she retorted. "You'll just have to deal with it."
"True," he said, without even blinking. "But I thought guilting you into helping me might be the best approach."
Hermione frowned at him. "What?"
He sighed. "I need help. You're smart. Please help me."
"Why would I help you?" she demanded.
She honestly didn't know why she should. First he was extremely cruel to her, then he was acting as if he wanted her, and most recently he had humiliated her again by seeking her out just to tell her that he didn't want to date her. Why would he even do a thing like that? It was such a demeaning thing to say, especially considering that she'd never indicated wanting any such thing. Just because she'd thrown herself at him didn't mean she liked him—it just meant she had no self-respect, obviously.
"You're mad at me," he quietly observed.
"No, I just don't like you very much. There's a difference." Actually she was mad, but… admitting that would just lead to one of those countless discussions she didn't want to have more of.
He looked down at his hands. "But you like me even less now than before," he muttered. "It bothers me."
"Then you should stop being so unlikeable."
"I… can't." He paused. "And I suppose it's better that you don't like me. Sorry. My mistake." He began to rise.
"Why do you keep contradicting yourself?" Hermione asked.
Draco sat down again. "You don't want to know, I don't think."
"Oh, but I do."
He twitched. "Fine, then I just don't want to say."
"You can't keep doing this."
"I just asked you for homework help."
"You want me to like you, but you don't want me to like you. You want to have sex with me, but you don't want to have sex with me. Just stop it already. Leave me alone!"
Now she was the one to get up and stuff her books into her bag. She could study in her room if she had to. She certainly didn't need to be here.
"I didn't think there was any doubt about the sex," he murmured.
She snorted. "Oh, please."
"I only stopped because—"
She held up her hand, cutting him off. "I heard, don't bother."
"I wasn't lying," he gritted out. "But I can't date you, so pursuing you for sex would just be…."
"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Slytherin of you?"
He stood up too. "Is that what you want me to do, then?"
"No. Leave me alone." She began walking away from him.
Suddenly, but not terribly surprisingly, he grabbed her arm.
"Let go!" she warned, trying to get free and possibly beat the living daylights out of him. This was just some game to him, wasn't it? See how far he could push her and then backtrack at the slightest indication that she might believe anything he said.
Her bag slipped to the floor and he grabbed her other arm, giving her a strong sense of déjà vu. Apparently manhandling her in the library was his newest hobby.
"Why are you doing this?" he demanded. "Tell me what you want!"
"I believe I already did."
He pressed his lips together in an annoyed frown. "Yes, I believe you did."
Then his lips came crashing down on hers. Hard. The shock more than anything made her try to push him away, but his hands just tightened, and when he opened his mouth on hers and she didn't open hers, he bit her! Actually, it was just a hard nip, but still! It made her gasp and then his tongue was in her mouth and the kiss turned surprisingly gentle. His hands even loosened their hold a bit.
Now was her cue to break free. Or bite his tongue off. Or both.
Just one moment longer and then she'd decide which course of action was best.
His lips were gently brushing the spot he'd nipped, soothing it, before fully kissing her again. Something about it all made her light-headed, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.
He was a git, that was for sure, and she was tired of his games. She just… liked the kiss. Not so much the kiss itself—although it had vastly improved in the last minute or two—but being kissed. Even if it was by some uncaring git who only did it to mess with her head.
He one upped her again, though, by being the one to stop.
Damn it.
She glared at him, well aware that her cheeks were flushed and her breathing shallow. At some point, her hands had grabbed hold of his arms as well—entirely without her asking them to—and now she let go as if burned.
Damn it.
So what? She liked how it felt when he kissed her. Sure. That was no reason to feel like going to her room and dying.
But dying really did seem appealing right now.
"You want me," he quietly said. "At least between your legs you do. I'm not the only one contradicting myself."
The crude words made Hermione glare furiously, but it hardly mattered, because he had already left.
Draco was wrinkling his nose at the display currently before him, yet still not looking away. They were blocking his way back into the common room, that was all. He certainly wasn't looking at them because he had some kind of sick fascination with what was going on.
He had kissed Granger in the library. He wasn't sure why, but he had. Violently.
Standing here, watching this couple, he realized why that had completely ruined his mood. He hadn't wanted to kiss her violently. He'd wanted to kiss her gently. Like Blaise was currently kissing Tracey, the little tramp, right in the middle of the hallway. Careful, almost innocent kissing.
He was such an idiot for wanting that. Their entire non-existent relationship was about abuse, assaulting, and animalistic tendencies. Not… tenderness. Not love.
She had been the one wanting that violent kiss, though. She might not want to admit it, but she had wanted it. She had argued and fought in a way that clearly told him so. He had just wanted to give her what she wanted. He always wanted to give her what she wanted. He was stupid that way. Too bad that she mostly wanted him to get lost.
The reason he'd gone to her and asked for help in the first place wasn't because he'd wanted anything to happen. He did have some homework he could use her help on and he just sort of liked it whenever they managed to get along. He liked talking to her and being around her when they weren't fighting. For one insane second he'd thought maybe they could work on a truce and become friends. Good friends. The kind that cared. True, he was feeling just a tad more than friendliness towards her, but he could work on that.
Instead she hated his guts but secretly wanted him to force kisses on her. He supposed it was because she didn't have to acknowledge that she liked it as long as she was being forced.
It wasn't that he hadn't liked kissing her, per se. He just hadn't liked the way of it. It was painful enough to kiss her in the first place, knowing that it meant nothing and would go no further, without making it into a mockery of how he felt.
And now Blaise and Tracey were mocking him too by sweetly kissing where he'd have to break them up to get past them.
"Is it really that interesting?" a cool voice asked. Theo. Draco's night certainly was complete now.
"It's just odd," Draco muttered. "Normally she can't seem to stop being a bitch to him."
"She can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth," Theo mused. "He undoubtedly flattered her shamelessly in private in order to get into her knickers, and then he dehumanized her rather publicly. Just because he's obviously sorry doesn't mean that he thinks he was wrong. It just means he's sorry she heard and was ended their affair over it. I'd think less of her if she wasn't 'a bitch'."
Draco glanced at Theo, who looked impassive as ever and then back at the couple. "He does think he was wrong, you know that."
Theo shrugged. "I don't actually care. This bores me."
"Then why do you even bother to analyze them?"
"Because you overly identify with him and that bit is amusing."
"I do not—"
"You're actually beginning to believe you have a shot, aren't you?" Theo's lips twisted in that sardonic way of his.
Draco sighed. Back to that. "You know it doesn't matter."
"If you're so concerned about the money you could lose by marrying someone ineligible, why not just make the other sacrifice?" Theo very calmly asked.
Draco did a double-take. "You… you know about that?"
"Told you I read about it, didn't I? Not all witches want children, you know."
Draco glanced uncertainly at Theo. He had no idea where it might actually say that his family had made it a habit to curse the heir. It was some archaic way of ensuring that he wouldn't accidentally have any sons out of wedlock that might make claims or be able to have a full relationship with children with a non-pureblood with no consequences. "I know, that not everyone wants children, but most witches would resent that I chose money over marrying and procreating with them, whether they actually wanted it or not."
"Well, many witches also like money."
"You know she's not like that so this still can't go anywhere. Why are you trying to make it happen?"
Theo smiled rather coldly. "You misunderstand me. I would like to see you try. She would reject you. She doesn't want anything you have to offer. I think she would much rather date a Jarvey than even contemplate a future with you, whether you choose the money or the offspring. Watching you agonize about whether to make sacrifices is amusing me in its sheer futility."
Draco actually wasn't that surprised. Theo had reason to be feeling vindictive. "You're wrong, you know," he said. "She does want something I have to offer."
"Ah, yes, I forgot. She's attracted to you physically, that's true. She's attracted to me too. I could have had her. Maybe I should have just taken what she offered, since she offers it so freely anyway."
Draco fought hard not to tense up. It would be stupid to be so easily baited. "This is not going to work, Theo," he said.
"Maybe she'll offer it to me again. After all, I was the one to break it off, not her. I could act contrite."
"I know that you're still in love with her," Draco quietly said, refusing to acknowledge the anger he felt at Theo's words. He wasn't sure why the head boy was trying to make him lose it, but he guessed it was part of getting even. "So why do you even pretend that you're not?"
Theo's impassive expression didn't change. "I never said anything about that. I said I could act contrite to get her into bed. It has nothing to do with my feelings for her."
"Still, that's what stopped you in the first place, wasn't it? That you knew she didn't feel the same."
"No. What stopped me was that she was wearing that ring. Do you honestly think that I wouldn't have taken whatever I could get if she hadn't been playing your game? Do you honestly think that you ever figured even once in my thoughts when dealing with my relationship? I knew her feelings didn't run that deep from the beginning. Unlike you, however, I never deluded myself but just worked with what I had. I didn't do very well, I admit; she didn't always react how I thought she would."
"You're not that cold, Theo."
"Again, I never said I was cold. You assume too much, Draco. They're gone now."
Draco blinked, feeling a bit confused at the last bit until he realized that he had meant Blaise and Tracey, and by then Theo was gone too.
Jarvey: The Jarvey is found in Britain, Ireland and North America. It resembles an overgrown ferret in most respects, except for the fact that it can talk. True conversation, however, is beyond the wit of the Jarvey, which tends to confine itself to short (and often rude) phrases in an almost constant stream. Jarveys live mostly below ground, where they pursue gnomes, though they will also eat moles, rats and voles. -- From "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them"
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"What do you want?" he asked. Maybe he could at least hear her cover story.
"I want to talk."
"You couldn't find anybody else to talk to?"
She looked him straight in the eye. "I wanted to talk to you. About... about sex."
