Scroll 25: Bunnies

As soon as the trio had wandered off, Skiminachi walked out from around a tree he had been hiding behind and approached the three of the older genin.

"Ah, looks like you've run into a little bit of trouble then, young Leaf genins? I've got just the thing for that." he said and started rummaging around under his armor for something. Unless stopped, he'd just walk up and kneel down in front of Yusuki, still searching for that something underneath his armor.

Drake blinked and flinched as the large Skiminachi appeared out of nowhere. It would seem that the genins still had much to learn in the art of subterfuge and catching it before it turned deadly.

"Yes, thanks mister!" Usagi smiled with joy as the large, hulking armored man began to help. "I am Uzaruki-san. This moron in my lap is Yusuki-kun and that over there is Drake-kun. Names shouldn't mean anything to a stranger, right?" The dual-colored eyes of Usagi rose up in self-defense as Drake hissed at her as she rattled off their names.

"My comrade here is a bit daft for an Uzaruki, my man." Drake smirked as Yusuki finally passed out as Usagi knocked him over the head. "Usa-chan, that's not going to help things."

"Oh shut up, Drake-kun." Usagi looked like she was ready to launch into a verbal spar with Drake.

Just then, a two-foot long black rabbit hopped out of the green bushes and crawled towards Usagi, its teeth dragging a porn magazine through the grass.

"Hi Usagi-chan, I brought your porno mag for you! I saw that you were back and wanted to greet you!" The black nin-rabbit stopped next to Usagi as it looked, with blue eyes, up at Skiminachi. "Oho, hi, are you gonna sleep with Usagi-chan next, big guy? I know she likes it big, but by gawd, you have the record!"

Yusuki's head laid in Usagi's lap as the red-eyed girl stared down at her rabbit, Jin. Her face fell into the red-zone as her rabbit nin-animal embarrassed her with its dirty talk. To her left, Drake sat back, allowing himself to flop on the grass as his laughter echoed through the glade.

"Ah, you must be Yukari's relative. To be honest, until you spoke, I thought you might have been the same person; you two look so alike." as he spoke he worked on Yusuki. He pulled a few leaves out of his armor and put them in Yusuki's mouth, 'chew these' was all he said. He pulled a small jar out, putting a strange-colored cream in Yusuki's wound, before putting his hand over it and quickly beginning the healing process. Though not exclusively a medical nin, he had been doing this for a long time and was good at it.

"And no, names do not mean much to me, but actions do. Which is why I would like to know why this one…" he nodded down at Yusuki. "Decided to do what would normally have been a horrifying thing, to a few kids that had been just playing with their puppy. Drake-san, I would have no idea what an Uzaruki is like, as I had not met them before a week ago. As for…what's this?" The large cook laughed as he saw the rabbit dragging its porn.

"Ah, if this had been a weasel I would have thought it was Shozaku's doing!" he continued to listen to the rabbit talk. "Ah, that's what I smelled on you, Usagi. I am…still not familiar with all this land's customs, so I wasn't sure what age you would start at, but so far I've been told it was older than you currently are. Good for you…" he gave her a pat on the back.

Usagi nearly passed out from the way the discussion led. Drake was so busy laughing, that his normal job of medical-aid was left to the giant of a man who was using his chakra to heal the now-unconscious Yusuki. The boy's busted open stomach slowly began to close as Skiminachi's chakra infused into the wounded tissue.

"OH GOD! THIS IS TOO GOOD!" Drake howled as the healing-cook spoke further. "He praises your skillz, Usagi-chan! 'Good for you.' He says!" The green-eyed genin would have been kicked in the nads had Yusuki's head not resided in Usagi's lap. His gloved hands pounded the trampled grass in mirth. "That is a first, Usa-chan, a dude praising your job!"

"Shut UP DRAKE-SNAKE!" Both Usagi and Jin, the rabbit, shouted in sync – Jin proceeded to speak further.

"Oho! That must mean you are growing in your skills, Usagi-sama!" the black rabbit hopped in happiness. "If a regular ninja male can smell you, then your charms MUST be working! What do you say, big guy, are you gonna be next!"

"Haha, I know it is strange here for a man my age to say such things. but I would also not insult the ways of a courtesan." he said to drake, "My mother was a very skilled geisha, and as such, I would ask you to watch your words. Where I come from, such skills are rather praised, though not as openly as I have praised yours. Ah, we appear to be all done here", he looked down at Yusuki, then stood up.

"And no, little rabbit, I am not next. I fear I am of an age where I have gotten rather picky. Though I am attractive, your trainer is not my type." he would pat Usagi on the head.

"I'm sure if she gets bored, my friend Shozaku would not mind your attentions. Although, Usagi-chan, if you turn red at the mention of it, why is that you do it?" That was more of a rhetorical question, but she could answer if she wanted.

"Well, I should probably get back to camp. when irritated the children tend to eat a lot, or rather Gilligan does. is there anything else you wish of me before I go?"

Yusuki, having been his opened stomach healed, sputtered and opened his yellow-blue eyes to look into Usagi's red. "Crap, man, what'd I MISS!" Taking stock of his surroundings, the punk-genin sat up, yanking the senbon out of his neck muscle and stretching it to stop the bleeding – the wound was nothing more than that of an unwanted piercing, the senbon needle was that thin.

"Oh, hey, Jin-rabbit, my man. Did you bring us porn again?" the black-blue and purple haired boy grinned a dazzling, white smile before turning to Skiminachi. Leaping to his feet, the radical genin bowed to the Cook-who-heals. "Ah, you there, thanks for closing my stomach up again. It would have been bad if the Med-ninjas had to write another report for me again due to injuries."

Drake, having finally stopped laughing at Usagi's predicament lumbered to his feet and inhaled, exhaled and moved to help Usagi to hers.

"Yea, Thank you for helping heal my friend, mister." The bookie-genin grinned as Usagi bent down to collect her rabbit and porno mag. "Is there anything we could do to apologize to those kids?"

"Hell no, I ain't apologizing to no stinking brats." Yusuki turned towards Drake and sneered. "Besides, they were all girls, right? I had to show them how manly I am!"

"Yusuki-chan, just shut your mouth." Usagi whipped her right hand upside Yusuki's head and then grabbed it to force him into a submissive bow.

"So sorry mister, my friend thinks all the girls can't resist his charms." The Uzaruki cousin held the rabbit and magazine to her chest. "I would feel most humble if I got the chance to apologize to those girls."

Skiminachi just laughed at the genins.

"Ah; manliness coming from a person that had his stomach torn open. As for apologizing to them, well, if you can find them apart, you may. The chained one, the girl who was responsible for this, has had some very…bad issues with men in her past." His tone for that was a bit grave, and he hoped they did not make light of it.

"If the three of you have no further business, Usagi-san may follow me back to cam-…all girls? Did you just say they were all girls?" Skiminachi's voice faltered for only a second, revealing mild confusion but growing apprehension. Though it might not sound like it, the question was very important.

"Yea, duh man, girls. Can't you tell that those kids were girls! They are gonna make somebody very happy in the future!" Yusuki brushed off Usagi's hand and straightened himself. "If that is so, then I guess I ought to apologize. We don't want to hurt the ladies, now, do we?" That was a rhetorical question as Yusuki dragged Drake up next to him and Usagi. "So, where is this camp of yours? I noticed you're not from around here." Yusuki was not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. "Your ninja-band depicts a wheel rather than our village leaf. I was unaware that Konoha dealt with the Wheel bastards."

What was this? Yusuki knew of the Wheel-nin? The casual tone of Yusuki as he spoke of the Wheel Nin would give even Skiminachi pause. It wasn't common knowledge that Team Usagi had taken a mission by a man bearing the same symbol. Nor was it the Hokage or any of the Konoha debriefers that gave it.

"Yusuki-kun, we weren't ever to mention that mission to ANYONE!" Usagi instantly grew extremely nervous.

Skiminachi did raise an eyebrow, assuming if anybody it was 'that' person. Unfortunately, if anything that instantly angered him, it was speaking ill of the Wheel Village. Using the phrase 'Wheel bastards' wasn't exactly the most polite thing. Yusuki would find himself flying through the air, having been punched in the side by a rather gigantic hand. Skiminachi turned towards Usagi and Drake.

"Ah, I apologize for the outburst. I do not take well to ill words of our village, at least from those I do not perceive to be enemies. It is good I am known for being calm then, eh?" He hadn't forgotten what they'd said, he did intend to somehow get the information but now, and by his own hands, was probably not the best way to do it unless one of them slipped up further.

"YUSUKI!" Usagi cried as he went flying backwards from Skiminachi's blow. "YOU'RE AN IDIOT! Drake-kun, go see if he needs healing."

Once again, Usagi bowed to the large, and now in charge, ninja.

"Please forgive my idiot friend; he merely speaks out of concern for my body and me. If you need more information, I will place myself in your custody and answer any questions you have."

Being the serious diplomat, Usagi would undoubtedly become Konoha's greatest courtesan Kunoichi. But for now, she was wriggling her team out of apparent trouble as Yusuki's big mouth had put them in again.

"Usagi-chan…" Both Drake and Jin-rabbit look at their black-haired comrade in concern.

"WHO WANTS TO LOOK AT PORN!" Jin broke the tense situation and leapt out of Usagi's arms with the porno mag. "I got this from the great Toad-Sage and the Icha-Icha Paradise collection!" The rabbit had lost it in this scary situation. Its eyes were open wide with uncertainty.

In the rabbit's eyes, Skiminachi was now lord and master of the training grounds and to be feared at all costs. It wasn't every day Jin saw the strong Yusuki knocked out cold with a single punch. But then again, Jin dead-bottom on the judging scale when it came to threats. The black rabbit was just daffy and stupid. The large man just clapped his hands to his stomach and laughed, much like Santa would.

"Ah, children. All is forgiven, where I come from matters are dealt with either by fist or by fork, and this has been dealt with accordingly. Though, you mentioned wishing to apologize to the girls, so you should come with me. If nothing else, I would rather you have a better understanding of us outside of the few ninja we have interacted with much so far, so the village does not get the wrong idea. You, however…" he pointed at Jin. "You will stay here. If the chained one saw you, or any of them besides Barokendo, it would end badly; for everyone."

Skiminachi turned to walk away, before looking over his shoulder at Usagi.

"Usagi?" he simply said her name, leaving the 'Are you coming' unspoken. Usagi nodded to the large Cook before turning to Drake, Jin and the unconscious Yusuki.

"Drake-kun, inform Okamizu-sensei that I will be a hostage for the time being. Tell him that I had to make a deal to apologize for Yusuki's trouble-making. Jin, you stay here and make sure that they get back inside the village, ok! Don't worry about me! I'll use THAT jutsu if I have the need to forcibly escape."

"Oy, Usagi-san, wait just a blasted-gone…she's gone. That girl kills more of my brain cells than my jutsus do. Damn it Yusuki, why'd you have to go and open your big mouth." Drake, it seemed, had a crush on Usagi. But for now, he was stuck healing his punk-team mate and probably be stuck dragging him into the village as well. "Jin-chan, transform into a carrier rabbit please, Yusuki's fat ass is in need of a sled."

"Nu-uh, no way! Drag him in yourself! I'm taking my porn and going back home." The frantic black rabbit bit the bindings of the magazine, took it and tore off running into the bush. Drake sighed in annoyance as he was left alone with Yusuki.

XXX

Upon leaving the hospital, Kakashi might see the ninja Jake was wearing walking out of it as well, moving down the street. Behind Jake though, a large round lump, as though a sphere rising out of the ground, appeared and began to rotate. It spun quickly until the dirt was off of it, and a large eye was showing. The eye itself appeared to be glowing, and a faint voice could be heard as though chanting something towards Jake. Jake himself did not seem to be too aware of the situation just yet, as he was concentrated on other things.

Kakashi, have split off from Otou and Yukari, had decided to find something to do in order to be late. Whether that something was sitting in a tree reading his 'Icha-Icha Paradise' or simply think about his sweet little Yukari, the choice was his. However, when the jounin spotted Jake, that choice became a spy-fest as the odd happenings behind Jake caught Kakashi's attention.

And here I thought the village would be boring without Naruto-san around. Hm. Kakashi mused mentally to himself as he followed Jake and the eyeball.

Jake began to notice something going on, but sadly, it was a second too late. The large eye lit up with a bright red flash and a large beam shot out at him, encasing him entirely and making a complete hole in the house behind.

After it was over, Jake's real body began to fall to the ground, having been brought out now that the person he inhabited was destroyed. Immediately after the flash, a large, distorted man popped out of the eye, which disappeared, and damn near flew at Jake. All over the man's body, as he was wearing only pants, were short groupings of stitches. It almost looked like he had sewn-shut eye-sockets in various places on himself. His skin itself though looked a bit baked, as if he had been out in the sun too long, and crumpled in places like pieces of burnt paper. In general, he just looked and gave off seriously nasty vibes.

Although, what others may notice first was him screaming:

"WHERE IS SHE?" The horrible man ran at the small child, those scarred arms poised to capture than to kill. Jake was currently reaching his hand toward his forehead, but if nothing intervened; James would more than likely get to him first.

Kakashi, having been witness to the thirty seconds attack, flinched into action immediately. Performing a Mizu Bunshin (water clone) he sent his Mizu self jumping to intercept James; both his hands wielding kunai knives.

"I prefer to leave the village in peace if I'm to leave it at all." Kakashi growled warningly.

"YOU!" James shouted, his hand going clean through the water clone. There was a large poof of smoke, and James was gone. In his place, or rather the clone's, was a slender formless ninja. It looked as though a mannequin was standing there, facing Kakashi. James himself was behind Kakashi, holding what was now Jack, who was laughing.

"Hello, I'm pleased to meet you…" the formless ninja spoke.

"Sorry eyeball, but she's ours now and you're never getting her back. And you know it's pointless to do anything to me now. Thanks to the copycat here, Jake is safe somewhere else. We can fight if you want."

James shook with anger, and he just simply dropped Jack on the ground, standing there shaking with rage.

The Mizu-Kakashi smiled as it lost its cohesiveness and splashed to the ground, leaving the enraged James to face off against the faceless, formless mannequin.

If James truly wanted to know where Kakashi was, the jounin had put a building between himself and James; awaiting to make a next move.

The formless ninja still held a bit of the water from the clone in its hands, and brought it up close to sniff the water.

"Ahhhhh, James, I feel him near. What should we do for now?"

"Nothing, we'll get our chance later. If that damn ninja hadn't interfered, we'd have her." A sickening crack was heard as Jack got launched through the air with a swift, chakra-enhanced kick, landing within sight and a bit closer to Kakashi. James and the formless ninja would vanish, though not before the formless ninja turned and stared directly at Kakashi, giving a vicious grin.

Kakashi tightened his lips in seriousness as he viewed the parting smile of his enemy. He realized that the mission the Hokage had just given him had taken a dangerous turn.

Jack got to his feet and dusted himself off; or rather, his pants at least. He then walked over to where Kakashi was hiding.

"Thanks for the help. Our special replacement jutsu was almost interrupted. We'll remember this, if the time ever comes." And with that, he started walking away towards an ice cream place he'd seen earlier. He was still in vacation-mode, and would be until the night had passed or things James interrupted again.

Kakashi exhaled and nodded to the raggedy kid, then looked at the setting sun; noting the time he had left until he and his team would have to seriously start their escort mission. He already knew that James was a potential danger to the mission. The Hokage hadn't mentioned it during debriefing, but she had told him earlier that the Escort the Wheel Nin Mission was classed as an 'A' rank.

Kakashi hasn't shown it, but now he was even more worried about his Yukari-chan. She still was marked as a genin officially, but had been on chuunin-level missions before – including their Sneeze-Village bust in the Land of Tea. The silver-haired jounin placed his kunai back into his pack and was off. He didn't feel the need to immediately seek out Genma, Hani-san or Otou, but Yukari instead. He would most likely find her already at the Wheel-Nin camp, ready to begin the mission that would boost her to chuunin level.

Aiming for the north-western gate; Kakashi headed towards the outside camp himself, thinking of excuses to use if he was late.