Nine Billion Dollar Heist
*Co-Authored with Lives in Dreams and TRDancer. They are my better thirds.*
Big thanks to anonymous reviwer Roxanne for leaving the review that said quote 'I want to dry hump this story'. AMAZING. You should either (A) Get a FF, so we can reply to you, (B) LOGIN, or (C) Get a FF, LOGIN to that FF, and THEN review THIS FF. Loved it!
Chapter Three: Dorito Kisses and Champagne Rides
"You taste like cheese. It's sexy." -Rosalie
"Well, you know—"
"Yo, man, hold up," I interrupted. "I gotta get some Doritos." I jumped up from my spot on the couch and went into the kitchen, disregarding the groans from everyone else. I opened the pantry and spotted the red bag almost immediately. I snatched it and opened it as I walked back to the couch and sat down again. I shoved a chip in my mouth and then offered the bag to Edward, who was sitting on a stool looking rather unenthused.
"Emmett, couldn't you have waited to get Doritos?" he asked, shaking his head.
"Doritos wait for no man or in this case, no obnoxious teenage boy with an equally obnoxious I.Q. Now, by all means, continue," I replied, popping another triangle of cheesy perfection into my mouth. Edward sighed and shook his head.
"As I was saying before dear Emmett here had to go get Doritos"—he shot me a glare—"you all know how we usually start out, right?"
We all nodded. "Start small, finish big," Bella said smugly. I snorted, almost spitting out my Doritos.
"That's what she said," I cracked as soon as I managed to swallow the chip. Everyone laughed—except Bella, who just frowned, and Edward, who just rolled his eyes.
"Bella's right, despite Emmett's joking." I smiled smugly. He totally thought it was funny; he's just too... annoying to admit it. "We'll start off small, just checking out security, seeing how hardcore it is. It'll pretty much just be us doing what we do best: partying."
"Yeah man! I'm always up for a party!" I crowed. Alice and Jasper nodded enthusiastically and Rosalie snuggled closer to me. I put my arm over her shoulders and stuck the Doritos bag under her nose. She took one, smiling at me. I started to play with a piece of her gorgeous blonde hair, almost missing the beginning of Edward's next sentence.
"Yeah so we'll be analyzing the building for potential setbacks. Alice, you could take your camera and take pictures of the premise for later examination and use." Alice preened; obviously happy her talent with a camera was going to be used. "We'll play some hands, of course, just to test out the waters. It would probably be best if we lost more than we won the first time around, just to seem like less of a threat."
"Oh yeah, we can build up our notoriety slowly," Jasper nodded.
"Wellbrlowthermawey," I said through a mouthful of chips. Alice and Bella rolled their eyes simultaneously. Everyone stared at me while I managed to finish chewing and swallowing the Doritos. "Sorry, I meant to say that we'll blow them away."
Rosalie laughed. "We waited that long just so you could say something we already knew?"
"You know it, babe. What else did you expect?"
"Nothing less," she cooed, leaning in for a kiss. I gladly complied. Kissing my girl was definitely number one on my favourite things to do list, even if it tasted like Doritos. Hell, the Doritos made it better.
Bella coughed and Edward said loudly, "Sorry to break up the love fest over there, but we should probably get back to the plan, dontcha think?" I pulled away from Rosalie slowly.
"Sure man, whatever." Rosalie leaned close to my ear and whispered to me.
"You taste like cheese. It's sexy." I guffawed at her.
"Nice one, Rose!" I held up my hand for a high five. She slapped my hand and grinned.
"It's true though," she said at a normal tone. Edward raised his eyebrows at us.
"I don't think I want to know. Anyways... any questions?"
"Uh yeah, what exactly are we hoping to gain?" Alice asked. Edward must have blinked a trillion times in the one second after she said that.
"Money? Fame?" Edward suggested.
"Fun?" Bella threw in. Alice nodded thoughtfully.
"How much money?" I saw Rose roll her eyes.
"Who cares? We're already loaded, what's a bit more money goanna do?" she said snidely.
"True that, Rosie-poo," Alice said sweetly. Rose scowled.
"Don't call me that ever again," she hissed. Alice snickered.
A silence commenced, complete with Alice and Rosalie giving each other death glares, Edward and Bella staring into each other's eyes, and Jasper looking mildly disgusted as he watched Edward and Bella. I reached into the chip bag and stuffed another chip in my mouth, chewing slowly with my mouth open. I waited for someone to notice.
"Ewww, Emmett, stop it! That's disgusting," Alice whined.
"Narrr, this ees tuh fun," I said around the chip. Alice groaned and buried her face into Jasper's chest. I rolled my eyes and swallowed the chip. "You can come out now princess, it's all gone," I told Alice. She looked up at me and then let out a sigh of relief.
"Honestly, Emmett. You're so immature."
I shrugged. "It's what I do."
Bella came out of her Edward induced stupor in time to add, "No shit Sherlock."
"Elementary my dear Watson," I quoted back at her.
"Oh my god!" Alice shrieked, sitting straight up and bouncing on the love seat cushions.
"Calm, Alice. CAHlm," Jasper comforted her. "What it is it?"
"Rose and Bella and I should put on a show for the people!" Rosalie looked confused, and Bella shook her head.
"No, Alice. If it involves dancing in front of people, no," Bella said firmly. Rosalie seemed to realize what Alice meant and also started shaking her head.
"Uh, Alice, don't we want to not draw attention to ourselves?" she asked. Alice pouted.
"Edward didn't say anything about bringing attention to ourselves, he just said that we didn't want to seem like a threat," Alice whined. I personally agreed with Alice. We were going to bring attention to ourselves no matter what, why not have some fun with it?
"You can put on a show for me any day, ladies." I winked in Rosalie's direction.
"Oh, Emmett, that is so sick!" Bella whined.
"Not too sick... I wouldn't mind a show either," Edward added slyly. I laughed at Bella's pout and held my hand up to Edward for a high-five. He slapped it, grinning, self-satisfied.
"I'm in," Jasper said lazily from the couch, staring at the ceiling.
"Dude, what have you been smoking?" I cracked. Jasper lifted his head and half-smiled.
"Alice," he mumbled. Everyone then burst into laughter. I leaned over so far that I fell off the couch, resulting in more laughter from everyone, including me.
"I think I'm rubbing off on Emmett!" Bella gasped out through her laughs. Finally we all calmed down and I was back on the couch next to Rose. Bella looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh crap, guys. It's almost four, I got to get home. Do the perfect daughter jizz for Charlie."
"Jizz?" Rose asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"Someone's been listening to The Lonely Island..." Alice added. Bella blushed.
"Whatever," she mumbled. "Bye, Edward." She leaned over and kissed Edward on the lips. We all stayed quiet for a rare moment, before Jasper decided he's had enough.
"Yooooo, break it UP," he yelled, throwing a pillow in their direction and completely missing them. "I thought Bella had to go home!"
Bella stood up, blushing again. "I do. Bye guys."
"And then there were five," we all chorused. Bella grinned and disappeared through the living room door.
"Speaking of 'perfect daughter jizz' I'm going to head home and do some 'perfect son jizz'," I told them all. "Need a ride home, Rose?"
"No, Alice and I have plans. See you later though." She smiled and leaned in for a kiss. I pecked her on the forehead, smirked in Edward's direction and stood up.
I was at the door when I heard them all chorus, "And then there were four!"
I laughed and called back, "Not a very fun four!" before slamming the door behind me. I dug my keys out of my pocket and pressed the unlock button. My beautiful champagne coloured Cadillac Escalade EXT beeped a welcome to me and I slid into the driver's seat, closing the door gently behind me. This car was my baby purchased with my very own money—that I earned, nonetheless—to replace the Jeep my father had bought me. The Jeep had been cool, but this? This was excellence.
I drove faster than was necessary—a Six Crew defining trait—to my house. I parked in the driveway because I liked to be able to make a quick escape. You never knew what could end up happening in the McCarty household.
I entered the house through the garage—my favourite entrance because it led directly to the kitchen, and consequentially the food. A growing boy like myself needs sustenance.
"Dad?" I called out as I walked into the house. My dad always found some time to come home and chill on Sundays. It was usually around mealtime when he showed up, so I was hopeful that he'd be here.
"In here," I heard him say, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wouldn't have to wait to ask my father about Vegas now.
I bounded into the kitchen and sat on a barstool across from my father. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you always this chipper, or am I under the influence?" he asked, taking a sip from his glass—probably of whiskey.
"Both," I told him. "But I am excited."
"For what?" he inquired, scanning his newspaper.
"Well... the gang and I were thinking of heading up to Vegas some time soon. What do you say?"
"I say go ahead. Sounds like a blast, a great way to start the summer off. Not that you didn't already kick it off with a bang, at that party of yours." He eyed me mischievously. I grinned at him.
"Well, you know us. We've got to have a different party every day or we're not satisfied," I joked.
"At least you don't need another girl every day," he replied, laughing. I shook my head.
"Nope I've got Rose and she's all I need," I said truthfully. Rosalie was my angel when times were horrible and when times rocked the living daylights out of every sensible person.
Good thing we weren't sensible people.
Dreamer: "Start small, finish big", we should have made that the top line. Ha, well yeah, this was amazing TRD! P.S Lex update now!
Lennixx: Yo, Dream: I'll update when I damn well please, woman! :D, LOL and JK. Nah, I have a great idea for the next chapter. Our favourite bronze-haired hunk-muffin might be in it! (But in BPOV, because she is needed in this story as much as our favourite bronze-haired hunk muffin :D)
Ah, but the update will come. But before that, you all have to REVIEW! The button likes the attention. It's like a little rabid squirrel on crack until to click it, so DO SO!
TRD: *pushes Dream out of the hiding spot and takes cover, mumbling, "don't hurt me, don't hurt me..." Pokes head out, yells "REVIEW" and then ducks again, not taking heed in the stares that Lex and Dream are giving her*
