Chapter 7
Offers
Fenris sat silently by the warm fire in Hawke's bedroom, trying to ignore the rustle of cloth as the young woman dressed behind a screen. The taste of her still clung to his lips and the gentle whisper of half dry silk did nothing to erase images and feelings he didn't want at the moment. So he kept his gaze fixed on the dancing flame and tried to focus on the many questions running through his head and not the passion in his veins.
He was failing miserably.
As she unhooked her breast band Hawke watched him curiously through a crack in the screen. He'd been extremely quiet since their kiss in the courtyard hours before. If it hadn't been for his eager response she would have thought this mysterious silence was one of regret; but he'd been far more than fervent in accepting her attentions.
That kiss had been everything a kiss should be, everything she'd ever wanted from a man. He'd been hesitant at first and Hawke would bet everything that that had been his first real kiss. But once he'd caught on his response had been powerful, overwhelming. He was so feral, so raw. So right. No man before him could compare to that short moment of unbridled passion.
And he accused me of choosing Anders. She snorted quietly as she draped her wet clothes along the top of the dressing screen. Fenris's voice as he'd hurled that accusation still haunted her. The mage was kind and passionate, but their drunken kiss couldn't compare; Anders couldn't compare. Where the man was perfectly civilized, only forced out of society because of his power, Fenris was feral, untamed, a part of that primal world of instinct and reaction.
Hawke liked that.
She just didn't like his trust issues.
But after tonight she would make sure the elf would have no more doubts. He wouldn't accuse her of betraying him to any damned magister, and certainly wouldn't believe she'd chosen Anders.
If she could only work up the courage. Hawke was a bold young woman, courageous and strong. But Fenris had a knack for making her nervous and looking down at herself she suddenly felt silly, noticing the flaws along her skin, the bruises already showing from their earlier tussle. Lightly she ran the tips of her fingers along the new discolorations and shivered at the sensation of her own touch. He wouldn't want to see them, she knew. The little patches of blackening flesh would make him feel guilty, would sully their moment. She thought for a moment of just forgetting about this, of just sitting by the fire with him and carrying on as they always had.
But this was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. She'd cared for him for so long, and after learning of his many doubts now seemed the perfect time to show him. Acutely aware of what she was about to do and of the elf she was about to do it with she took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves as butterflies danced in her stomach. Keeping the memory of his eager response to her kiss close as reassurance she took another breath to gather her courage and stepped out.
"Fenris?" he stiffened at her call, sitting straighter in his chair by the fire. She waited for a moment for him to answer, but he didn't turn around. Hawke pursed her lips in annoyance. Patience had never been her virtue, and now that she planned on doing very un-virtuous things, it fled her completely. If he wouldn't come to her, she would go to him.
He heard her quiet footsteps over the plush rug. "Fenris, what I said earlier wasn't a lie." Her voice was low, a purr that held too much promise; a promise of something he wasn't ready for yet. Despite his hesitancy his instincts reacted to that promise, igniting a slow burn in his veins as he listened to her approach, the near silent footsteps as she moved closer.
"If you're willing," Another step closer, but he was too afraid to turn and face her. "Then I want to show you just how much I lo- What the hell!" Her seductive voice suddenly jumped several pitches, and the startling change jolted him out of his frozen uncertainty.
He spun in his chair as Hawke squealed and practically dove back behind her screen. But not before he caught a glimpse of very long – very bare – legs. The teasing sight of her delicate ankles, her shapely calves and thin thighs wreaked havoc on his mind. The chair crashed over as he stood quickly, as he tried distractedly to look anywhere but where she'd been.
What he found was another – unwelcome – shock. Halbert stood just off to the side of room smiling like a mad man.
Sounds behind the screen didn't seem as seductive this time as Hawke struggled behind it, knocking and banging into things. Had she been… naked? The thought of what she wasn't wearing and what she'd been about to say upset his already off balance emotions and he struggled to shake the image as he stared at the mage, unsure of what to do in this situation.
"I'm terribly sorry!" the man laughed. "I've given you several hours. I thought you two would be done by now." It took a few moments for his shocked mind to process the insinuation, and realize that whatever he'd just seen, Halbert had seen more.
Without another thought Fenris rushed him, grabbing the front of his robes and slamming the intruder against the wall. The impact stole the smile off the older man's face and knocked the wind out of him. The idea of some sniveling mage stealing glances of Hawke while she was…vulnerable sparked an all consuming anger that Fenris had never experienced. The same terrible instinct that had made him jump into a raging river flared along with his markings, and the sudden unnatural light illuminated the elf's feral snarl.
Fenris was very capable and very ready to kill this man.
"What the hell are you doing here!?" Hawke's shrill question stayed his hand for just a moment, but it was all the time Halbert needed and with a sudden pop he was no longer in Fenris's grasp.
Fenris spun about at Hawke's squeak, to find the mage at the other side of the room. And to watch the woman finish tying a silky robe shut. A robe which did nothing to cover her still very bare legs. Heat that didn't have anything to do with anger burned through his body and he forced himself to focus purely on the not-as-appealing middle aged mage, watching the man darkly as he stepped in front of Hawke, trying to hide her from view.
Frowning Hawke tried to move around the elf, ready and eager to confront the mage, but Fenris moved with her, keeping the young woman behind him. She huffed at him and tried to push him aside, but the stony faced warrior shook his head and stayed in front, trying to keep her back without actually touching the tantalizingly half clothed woman. "What are you doing?" she hissed at him. He didn't answer. "Stop being a fool, Fenris." But he just shook his head again, keeping his gaze locked on the man before them and his lips shut tight.
Raising his hands in supplication Halbert chuckled at the elf's antics. "I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention to intrude, truly."
"Then what was your intention?" spat the annoyed woman as she continued to try to get around the strong warrior. "It's a rare thing that breaking into someone's private rooms is a result of good intentions."
Halbert hummed in acquiescence. "True. But I am the exception to that rule." He paused for a moment, placing his monocle to his eye and noting the determination and fierceness in the pairs' eyes. They were a good match, and knowing so steeled the man's resolve. "I've come to enlighten you about the curse," he said, "and perhaps offer my aid, if you're willing to accept."
"Offer your help!" Hawke cried. This mage had cursed the man she cared for, had broken into her house, seen her naked, and now he wanted to help? "You're mad!" She pointed accusingly at him over Fenris's shoulder. "You were the one who created this curse in the first place! You filled the order!"
Halbert raised an eyebrow at the woman's ferocity; so much spirit in such a delicate creature. He only hoped her strength would be enough to carry them through the trials ahead. "I didn't," he stated somberly.
The woman openly scoffed at him. "Really? I recall your story being much different earlier."
Halbert grinned weakly and ran his hand through his thinning hair. "Yes. Well...I didn't complete it. Changes things entirely, you know?"
Eyes tightening, Hawke glared at him over Fenris's armored shoulder, but waited silently for him to explain.
"The effects of an incomplete spell will be different; warped." The heavily accented man locked eyes with Fenris. "You spoke earlier of dreams?"
Fenris darkened incredibly at that question. It wasn't something he wanted to answer, especially not to a mage, and most definitely not under Hawke's suddenly intense scrutiny. Dreading what the man would say next he steeled himself and nodded jerkily.
"That is good." Halbert said reassuringly. "I believe that because the curse was incomplete, it merely strengthened what was already there. If the powder was administered in a completed state you would be irrevocably bound to the orderer - Hadriana. But, you received an imperfect dosage." He paused for a moment to let the elf digest this new development. "And instead you've been bound to another."
"If the curse was unfinished, does that mean you can cure it?" The woman peered at him from behind the elf, her dark eyes full of hope.
Grimly Halbert shook his head. "No. I'm sorry, but the end result will still be the same. I cannot reverse it."
"You mean I'll be…" Fenris tried to push the words past his suddenly tight throat, but he couldn't finish the damning statement.
"A slave?" Halbert said softly. "Yes. If love is considered slavery. But from what I've seen you were shackled long before you came into my shop. All this curse did was turn your affection for this woman into obsession."
Obsession. Fenris thought that an adequate description. Even if it was unwanted, the thought of her invaded every waking moment and the fantasy of her invaded his dreams. He shot a quick glance at Hawke, eyes full of suspicion.
The young woman missed it, but Halbert caught the gist of what the elf was thinking and smiled sadly. "She had nothing to do with this, elf. This bond was one completely of your choosing."
Glare darkening, Fenris took a dangerous step towards the mage. "Are you saying I chose this fate?" he spat, his voice rising with his words. "Chose slavery?!"
To his irritation Halbert's rumbling laugh answered him. "Maker, no! But I am saying you should enjoy this while it lasts. You are bound to a woman you care deeply for; one that cares deeply for you. There is something good to be found in that, no?"
The mage's insight cut off Fenris's next accusation, snapping the elf's mouth shut.
"Is there nothing we can do?" Asked Hawke softly.
Halbert's face cracked into a mischievous grin as he eyed the warrior before him. "Well, I suppose you could always act out your dreams. That might lesson the potency of the effects." Fenris shifted, extremely uncomfortable; the mage seemed to find some macabre humor in the elf's embarrassment. "But, no." he continued. "I can do nothing to stop the side effects."
A long silence stretched, filling the room with its hollow weight.
"I can't exactly say you are a lucky man," Halbert eventually said. "But you have escaped a damning fate." Tentatively he took an awkward step towards the pair becoming serious and hushed. "You must hope your luck continues. Dark forces are coming to Kirkwall – have been here for many years. You know of whom I speak. They will come for you soon, elf, and there will be no escaping their tricks this time. Your only hope will be to defeat them, and the only way to do so will be to trust in those you call friends."
Fenris was silent in the face of this grim warning. The warm room seemed to grow darker with his words, and what once offered comfort felt more like a cage; too constricting, stifling. The slight pressure of Hawke's delicate fingers weaving into his armored fingers shocked him, drawing him away from his spiraling emotions.
Noticing the woman's gesture Halbert stepped closer and locked eyes with the elf urgently. "Do not trust your mind, your thoughts. Trust only in this." He said, pointing to where Hawke held him. The strong set of the elf's jaw was all the answer the mage needed.
Nodding in approval as he stepped away the mage snapped through the tension with a startling clap of his hands. "Well that's it." He said with a wide smile. "I've told you all I can for now. I must leave this city quickly, but I will come to you again soon." He gave a horrible little wink at Hawke. "And next time I'll try to remember to dress inappropriately!"
And with another pop he vanished again, leaving Hawke huffing angrily and cursing under her breath.
But annoyance at the departed mage left her as she noticed Fenris's somber mood. The darkness lurking in his downcast expression bothered her deeply; there was a shadow of hatred and pain that always accompanied one man's name.
"Is it Danarius?" she asked hesitantly. A slow nod was her answer; an answer she'd hoped against. She didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to offer the kind of comfort he would need. Looking down at their interlocked fingers she gave his cold gloves a little reassuring squeeze, making a silent show of her support and hoping he understood.
Even if he still wasn't used to her closeness, even if her gentle touch was still foreign and strange to him, it was what Fenris needed in that moment, and he was grateful. The direness of Halbert's warning was consuming. He knew who was coming. He'd both hoped for and dreaded this moment for years. The weight of the situation sat heavily on the elf's shoulders, but the feather light pressure of Hawke's fingers was a welcome distraction.
It was a pleasant sensation, despite the separation from direct contact, and gave him a comfort he wasn't familiar with. But the soft pressure of her delicate but strong hold inevitably conjured memories of how her hands had clung to him earlier, of their kiss.
Suddenly her comfort was a bit too distracting, her nearness too suggestive. They were so close, so alone, in her private quarters. Fenris cleared his throat as his equilibrium suddenly shifted."We should... probably retire for the night," he said softly. She nodded silently and he started to move away from her, eager to escape the press of her warmth, of his want.
But her fingers tightened on his, stopping him. Maybe she was being foolish, but in that moment Hawke believed the best comfort she could offer was exactly what she'd planned to do earlier. As he turned to her questioningly she boldly met his eyes, and then looked suggestively to her over sized bed, making sure he understood her intentions.
Hawke knew Fenris well, and she expected him to be shy, hesitant at first; just like with their kiss. What she didn't expect was the sudden wide eyed stillness that overtook him at her insinuation.
Hawke's offer terrified him. Perhaps the mage had been telling the truth; perhaps she hadn't ordered this curse.
But now she knew of his cursed obsession, of his dreams. And Fenris didn't know if she wanted him because she truly cared for him or because she'd realized he couldn't say no. There was not much that frightened the stoic elf, but the idea of the woman he trusted taking advantage of the situation, of her using his own want against him drained the blood from his face. That would be a truly damning betrayal.
Realizing she'd made a mistake Hawke released his hand immediately and took a step back. Her forced smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she laughed sheepishly. "Sorry. Sorry, I just…" Shaking her head she sighed heavily and took another step away. "Just forget that. Goodnight Fenris."
He nodded jerkily, still unnaturally pale, and stiffly moved to the door, tossing a quiet goodnight back to her as he hurriedly left.
The young woman was not aware of the elf's uncertainties and doubts, and in the reverberating silence as the door shut behind him, his unspoken refusal seemed more a rejection than cautious self preservation. The fake smile fell from her lips as quickly as her hopes plummeted. Her eyes stung bitterly. She loved him, more than he could know, but as he left her there Hawke came to a devastating conclusion.
Fenris was cursed to love, but it seemed that he wasn't cursed to love her.
Fenris sat silently by the warm fire in Hawke's bedroom, trying to ignore the rustle of cloth as the young woman dressed behind a screen. The taste of her still clung to his lips and the gentle whisper of half dry silk did nothing to erase images and feelings he didn't want at the moment. So he kept his gaze fixed on the dancing flame and tried to focus on the many questions running through his head and not the passion in his veins.
He was failing miserably.
As she unhooked her breast band Hawke watched him curiously through a crack in the screen. He'd been extremely quiet since their kiss in the courtyard hours before. If it hadn't been for his eager response she would have thought this mysterious silence was one of regret; but he'd been far more than fervent in accepting her attentions.
That kiss had been everything a kiss should be, everything she'd ever wanted from a man. He'd been hesitant at first and Hawke would bet everything that that had been his first real kiss. But once he'd caught on his response had been powerful, overwhelming. He was so feral, so raw. So right. No man before him could compare to that short moment of unbridled passion.
And he accused me of choosing Anders. She snorted quietly as she draped her wet clothes along the top of the dressing screen. The mage was kind and passionate, but their drunken kiss couldn't compare; Anders couldn't compare. Where the man was perfectly civilized, only forced out of society because of his power, Fenris was feral, untamed, a part of that primal world of instinct and reaction.
Hawke liked that.
She just didn't like his trust issues.
But after tonight she would make sure the elf would have no more doubts. He wouldn't accuse her of betraying him to any damned magister, and certainly wouldn't believe she'd chosen Anders.
If she could only work up the courage. Hawke was a bold young woman, curageous and strong. But Fenris had a knack for making her nervous and looking down at herself she suddenly felt silly, noticing the flaws along her skin, the bruises already showing from their earlier tossel. Lightly she ran the tips of her fingers along the new discolorations and shivered at the sensation of her own touch. Acutely aware of what she was about to do and of the elf she was about to do it with she took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves as butterflies danced in her stomach.
But this was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. She'd cared for him for so long, and after learning of his many doubts now seemed the perfect time to show him. Keeping the memory of his eager response to her kiss close as reassurance she took another breath to gather her courage and stepped out.
"Fenris?" he stiffened at her call, sitting straighter in his chair by the fire. She waited for a moment for him to answer, but he didn't turn around. Hawke pursed her lips in annoyance. Patience had never been her virtue, and now that she planned on doing very un-virtuous things, it fled her completely. If he wouldn't come to her, she would go to him.
He heard her quiet footsteps over the plush rug. "Fenris, what I said earlier wasn't a lie." Her voice was low, a purr that held too much promise; a promise of something he wasn't ready for yet. Despite his hesitancy his instincts reacted to that promise, igniting a slow burn in his veins as he listened to her approach, the gentle swish of fabric as she moved closer.
"If you're willing," Another step closer, but he was too afraid to turn and face her. "Then I want to show you just how much I lo- What the hell!" Her seductive voice suddenly jumped several pitches, and the startling change jolted him out of his frozen uncertainty.
He spun in his chair as Hawke squealed and practically dove back behind her screen. But not before he caught a glimpse of very long – very bare – legs. The teasing sight of her delicate ankles, her shapely calves and thin thighs wreaked havoc on his mind. The chair crashed over as he stood quickly, as he tried distractedly to look anywhere but where she'd been.
What he found was another – unwelcome – shock. Halbert stood just off to the side of room smiling like a mad man.
Sounds behind the screen didn't seem as seductive this time as Hawke struggled behind it, knocking and banging into things. Had she been… naked? The thought of what she wasn't wearing and what she'd been about to say upset his already off balance emotions and he struggled to shake the image as he stared at the mage, unsure of what to do in this situation.
"I'm terribly sorry!" the man laughed. "I've given you several hours. I thought you two would be done by now." It took a few moments for his shocked mind to process the insinuation, and realize that whatever he'd just seen, Halbert had seen more.
Without another thought Fenris rushed him, grabbing the front of his robes and slamming the intruder against the wall. The impact stole the smile off the older man's face and knocked the wind out of him. The idea of some sniveling mage stealing glances of Hawke while she was…vulnerable sparked an all consuming anger that Fenris had never experienced. The same terrible instinct that had made him jump into a raging river flared along with his markings, and the sudden unnatural light illuminated the elf's feral snarl.
Fenris was very capable and very ready to kill this man.
"What the hell are you doing here!" Hawke's shrill question stayed his hand for just a moment, but it was all the time Halbert needed and with a sudden pop he was no longer in Fenris's grasp.
Fenris spun about at Hawke's squeak, to find the mage at the other side of the room. And to watch the woman finish tying a silky robe shut. A robe which did nothing to cover her still very bare legs. Heat that didn't have anything to do with anger burned his cheeks and he forced himself to focus purely on the not-as-appealing middle aged mage, watching the man darkly as he stepped in front of Hawke, trying to hide her from view.
Frowning Hawke tried to move around the elf, ready and eager to confront the mage, but Fenris moved with her, keeping the young woman behind him. She huffed at him and tried to push him aside, but the stony faced warrior shook his head and stayed in front, trying to keep her back without actually touching the tantalizingly half clothed woman. "What are you doing?" she hissed at him. He didn't answer. "Stop being a fool, Fenris." But he just shook his head again, keeping his gaze locked on the man before them and his lips shut tight.
Raising his hands in supplication Halbert chuckled at the elf's antics. "I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention to intrude, truly."
"Then what was your intention?" spat the annoyed woman as she continued to try to get around the strong warrior. "It's a rare thing that breaking into someone's private rooms is a result of good intentions."
Halbert hummed in acquiescence. "True. But I am the exception to that rule." He paused for a moment, placing his monocle to his eye and noting the determination and fierceness in the pairs' eyes. They were a good match, and knowing so steeled the man's resolve. "I've come to enlighten you about the curse," he said, "and perhaps offer my aid, if you're willing to accept."
"Offer your help!" Hawke cried. This mage had cursed the man she cared for, had broken into her house, seen her naked, and now he wanted to help? "You're mad!" She pointed accusingly at him over Fenris shoulder. "You were the one who created this curse in the first place! You filled the order!"
Halbert raised an eyebrow at the woman's ferocity; so much spirit in such a delicate creature. He only hoped her strength would be enough to carry them through the trials ahead. "I didn't," he stated somberly.
The woman openly scoffed at him. "Really? I recall your story being much different earlier."
Halbert grinned weakly and ran his hand through his thinning hair. "Yes. Well...I didn't complete it. Changes things entirely, you know?"
Eyes tightening, Hawke glared at him over Fenris's armored shoulder, but waited silently for him to explain.
"The effects of an incomplete spell will be different; warped." The heavily accented man locked eyes with Fenris. "You spoke earlier of dreams?"
Fenris darkened incredibly at that question. It wasn't something he wanted to answer, especially not to a mage, and most definitely not under Hawke's suddenly intense scrutiny. Dreading what the man would say next he steeled himself and nodded jerkily.
"That is good." Halbert said reassuringly. "I believe that because the curse was incomplete, it merely strengthened what was already there. If the powder was administered in a completed state you would be irrevocably bound to the orderer - Hadriana. But, you received an imperfect dosage." He paused for a moment to let the elf digest this new development. "And instead you've been bound to another."
"If the curse was unfinished, does that mean you can cure it?" The woman peered at him from behind the elf, her dark eyes full of hope.
Grimly Halbert shook his head. "No. I'm sorry, but the end result will still be the same. I cannot reverse it."
"You mean I'll be…" Fenris tried to push the words past his suddenly tight throat, but he couldn't finish the damning statement.
"A slave?" Halbert said softly. "Yes. If love is considered slavery. But from what I've seen you were shackled long before you came into my shop. All this curse did was turn your affection for this woman into obsession."
Obsession. Fenris thought that an adequate description. Even if it was unwanted, the thought of her invaded every waking moment and the fantasy of her invaded his dreams. He shot a quick glance at Hawke, eyes full of suspicion.
The young woman missed it, but Halbert caught the gist of what the elf was thinking and smiled sadly. "She had nothing to do with this, elf. This bond was one completely of your choosing."
Glare darkening, Fenris took a dangerous step towards the mage. "Are you saying I chose this fate?" he spat, his voice rising with his words. "Chose slavery?"
To his irritation Halbert's rumbling laugh answered him. "Maker, no! But I am saying you should enjoy this while it lasts. You are bound to a woman you care deeply for; one that cares deeply for you. There is something good to be found in that, no?"
The mage's insight cut off Fenris's next accusation, snapping the elf's mouth shut.
"Is there nothing we can do?" Asked Hawke softly.
Halbert's face cracked into a mischievous grin as he eyed the warrior before him. "Well, I suppose you could always act out your dreams. That might lesson the potency of the effects." Fenris shifted, extremely uncomfortable; the mage seemed to find some macabre humor in the elf's embarrassment. "But, no." he continued. "I can do nothing to stop the side effects."
A long silence stretched, filling the room with its hollow weight.
"I can't exactly say you are a lucky man," Halbert eventually said. "But you have escaped a damning fate." Tentatively he took an awkward step towards the pair becoming serious and hushed. "You must hope your luck continues. Dark forces are coming to Kirkwall – have been here for many years. You know of whom I speak. They will come for you soon, elf, and there will be no escaping their tricks this time. Your only hope will be to defeat them, and the only way to do so will be to trust in those you call friends."
Fenris was silent in the face of this grim warning. The warm room seemed to grow darker with his words, and what once offered comfort felt more like a cage; too constricting, stifling. The slight pressure of Hawke's delicate fingers weaving into his own shocked him, drawing him away from his spiraling emotions.
Noticing the woman's gesture Halbert stepped closer and locked eyes with the elf urgently. "Do not trust your mind, your thoughts. Trust only in this." He said, pointing to their intertwined fingers. The strong set of the elf's jaw was all the answer the mage needed.
Nodding in approval as he stepped away the mage snapped through the tension with a startling clap of his hands. "Well that's it." He said with a wide smile. "I've told you all I can for now. I must leave this city quickly, but I will come to you again soon." He gave a horrible little wink at Hawke. "And next time I'll try to remember to dress inappropriately!"
And with another pop he vanished again, leaving Hawke huffing angrily and cursing under her breath.
But annoyance at the departed mage left her as she noticed Fenris's somber mood. The darkness lurking in his downcast expression bothered her deeply; there was a shadow of hatred and pain that always accompanied one man's name.
"Is it Danarius?" she asked hesitantly. A slow nod was her answer; an answer she'd hoped against. She didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to offer the kind of comfort he would need. Looking down at their interlocked fingers she gave a little reassuring squeeze, making a silent show of her support and hoping he understood.
Even if he still wasn't used to her closeness, even if her gentle touch was still foreign and strange to him, it was what Fenris needed in that moment, and he was grateful. The direness of Halbert's warning was consuming. He knew who was coming. He'd both hoped for and dreaded this moment for years. The weight of the situation sat heavily on the elf's shoulders, but the feather light caress of Hawke's fingers was a welcome distraction.
As her fingers stayed curled about his, her thumb moving in soothing little circles on the back of his hand, his thoughts drifted further away from mages and dark memories. It was a pleasant sensation, and gave him a comfort he wasn't familiar with. But her soft ministrations over his bare skin inevitably conjured memories of how her hands had clung to him earlier, of their kiss.
Suddenly her comfort was a bit too distracting, her nearness too suggestive. They were so close, so alone, in her private quarters. Fenris cleared his throat as his equilibrium suddenly shifted."We should... probably retire for the night," he said softly. She nodded silently and he started to move away from her, eager to escape the press of her warmth, of his want.
But her fingers tightened on his, stopping him. Maybe she was being foolish, but in that moment Hawke believed the best comfort she could offer was exactly what she'd planned to do earlier. As he turned to her questioningly she boldly met his eyes, and then looked suggestively to her over sized bed, making sure he understood her intentions.
Hawke knew Fenris well, and she expected him to be shy, hesitant at first; just like with their kiss. What she didn't expect was the sudden wide eyed stillness that overtook him at her insinuation.
Hawke's offer terrified him. Perhaps the mage had been telling the truth, perhaps she hadn't ordered this curse. But now she knew of his cursed obsession, of his dreams. And Fenris didn't know if she wanted him because she truly cared for him or because she'd realized he couldn't say no. There was not much that frightened the stoic elf, but the idea of the woman he trusted taking advantage of the situation, of her using his own want against him drained the blood from his face. That would be a truly damning betrayal.
Realizing she'd made a mistake Hawke released his hand immediately and took a step back. Her forced smile didn't quite reach her eyes as she laughed sheepishly. "Sorry. Sorry, I just…" Shaking her head she sighed heavily she took another step away. "Just forget that. Goodnight Fenris."
He nodded jerkily, still unnaturally pale, and stiffly moved to the door, tossing a quiet goodnight to her as he hurridly left.
The young woman was not aware of the elf's uncertainties and doubts, and in the reverberating silence as the door shut behind him, his unspoken refusal seemed more a rejection than cautious self preservation. The fake smile fell from her lips as quickly as her hopes plummeted. Her eyes stung bitterly. She loved him, more than he could know, but as he left her there Hawke came to a devastating conclusion.
Fenris was cursed to love, but it seemed that he wasn't cursed to love her.
An:
Will Hawke realize her mistake? And will Fenris be able to overcome his doubts?
...probably not in the next chapter.
tune in next time to read: Insideous
if you enjoyed this chapter please review!
this chapter was very hard for me to write. I second-guessed myself a lot, and had a hard time keeping the flow smooth. please let me know if you can offer any improvements.
Reviwers:
My dog is alive! he's still sick, but he's doing much better. thank you for all of your concern and well wishes!
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Stargazer177: my dog has been my best friend for 12 years, and your short sentiment meant a lot to me when i was in a very sad place. thank you.
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