Chapter 8
A few days later it was L that was in her office for a change. She wanted to go over with him the ideas she had for her part of the program and he just loped into her office one afternoon. She had created psychological profiles for each of the trio, highlighting their strengths and deficits; what parts of their personalities worked towards being the new "L" and which were detrimental. L hoped that after working with them for a while and going over the information she would put together, he'd have a clearer idea of which of the trio was really more attuned to being L. He was fairly sure working together would most likely be out of the question, but even if they did manage to, there would need to be one who would make the final decisions.
"And through all of this, they must still be able to have their childhood until the last possible moment. I would not have them lose theirs as I did mine until necessary." Christine looked up from her papers to look at L. He was studying Matt's file, his thumb perched as his lips. His statement about their childhood was very telling, and something she had often wondered.
"I imagine you didn't have much of a childhood then." She started.
"L entered the world when I was about old. Although I had been solving cases for about 2 years prior. " He said, his eyes not leaving the chart.
"What a horrible thing to force a child to do. The things you must have seen…" L's eyes moved from the papers to Christine's face. She couldn't read the expression on his face.
"I was never forced, Doctor. It was something I began to do on my own out of sheer boredom here at the orphanage. Watari brought me here when I was very young; he knew early on that I had above average intelligence. He tried feeding it with everything he could come up with but everything bored me. Until I caught something on line regarding a murder case. It fascinated me. I began working on it during all my spare time. Watari noticed and when I asked him for materials he happily gave them to me. I solved it weeks before the police. I went on from there, and a few years later L was born. I am now not only the world's best detective, but several other well known detectives as well." He smirked after the last sentence.
"You work under other aliases?" Christine asked incredulously. L nodded and went back to the file.
"Eraldo Coil, Denueve…several others. They're all me. It keeps people from getting too close to L if there are other detectives out there who are also extremely good. Ofcourse I could never allow such a thing so they all have to be me." Christine sat back in her chair, blinking. How could he possibly be all of these detectives in one, compact package? No wonder his eyes were continually underlined in black, when DID he sleep?
"It certainly doesn't sound like you've had much time to enjoy life at all" she finally remarked. L closed the file and looked at her closely.
"Doctor you seem to be under the delusion that I am unhappy with how my life has been. Quite the contrary, I assure you. This is what I do, what I have always done and I have always enjoyed it. Nothing else would work for me. Are there things I would have done differently, of course? And I'm doing them for the trio. There are things I was subjected to at a young age that I would not and do not allow at this time for them. They all exhibit the same fervor I did, but I've insisted that they stay in classes until they graduate. I know that my social skills are less than they should be, and that is because from a young age I was alone with the exception of Watari. I had little to no interaction with anyone. I have learned that this can be a problem when trying to map out how people are going to react to situations and other people. Except for my studying such things, I have no personal knowledge from actual relationships. The boys will have such knowledge. It will prove invaluable to them and help them not to make some of the errors I have".
"I guess there was no one to put their foot down and say no about certain things for you then." L shook his head.
"Well, I've always had Watari, and yes he did try to stop me from getting involved in certain things. I went behind his back and got involved anyway. And because I did it, I know how to keep the boys from doing it behind mine." He grinned at this, the suddenness of it surprising her. She admitted to herself just how beautiful that smile was, especially since he really didn't flash it too often, and then stored that thought away.
"The boys are very lucky that they have you to intervene for them, then. I shudder to think what they'd do if allowed to push on as they thought fit." She saw a shadow pass over L's face at that moment, his eyes taking on a distant and sad look, but it was only for a moment and his gaze came right back to her.
"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" she asked. L shook his head and stood up, gathering the folders from the desk.
"No, you said nothing wrong. It is something that happened a long time ago. Perhaps someday I shall discuss it with you, but this is not the time. I will take these with me and go over them this evening and let you know what my thoughts are tomorrow. Good night, Doctor." He turned and walked out of her office, and she was sure his slight hunch was more pronounced than before.
She went over in her mind the last things they had said. Something in there had upset him; something after she had said the boys were lucky they had him. Perhaps something in his past had happened because he didn't have anyone to intervene? Had something happened to the boys earlier? Whatever it was it was obvious that it hurt him deeply. But she would wait until he told her, she wasn't about to do anything to interfere with the trust he had in her now.
L sat at his desk and stared at the screen directly in front of him, hand resting on his knees as he read the information scrolling past him. It had been more than five years since it happened, he had barely been 18, and L had been checking every possible lead, no matter how minimal, trying to find him, to find B. B had been dogging his heels ever since he had left Whammy's; finding and killing almost every operative L had sent to find him. And so L had stopped sending operatives, he couldn't justify the continuing deaths. He would find a way to stop B, but he had to wait for him to leave a calling card, to do SOMETHING he could pin on him. He had no clue where he would strike or when, which was why he was continually checking everything that could possibly be him. He'd know when he saw it. It would be a murder to be sure, but something special. Something he would do to make sure L noticed it.
He sighed again, fighting against the rising tide of guilt that threatened to overtake him again. He tried every logical explanation again against the guilt, he was too young, too inexperienced with dealing with people back then; how could he have known what was going on behind his back? He got up and paced over to the table where the folders he had picked up from the doctor lay, and a plate of small chocolate donuts.
All he could do now was ensure it never happened again, he thought as he picked up a mini donut and put it in his mouth. He could see a dangerous trait in Mello, but if monitored and steered properly he was sure he would straighten out. Near was closer to himself than the other two, brilliant in planning several steps ahead but not particularly good at working with others, and Matt, as brilliant as he was with computers, had difficulty keeping his mind on his tasks. He would continue to work with each of them properly and there would never be another problem like B, or tragedy like A. He involuntarily shuddered with the memory.
He sat down at the table and opened Matt's folder. Then he heard a soft knock on his door. He immediately expected Watari to open it, and then realized Watari wasn't there at the moment. Maybe if he ignored it they'd go away. Another knocks, and then he heard the door slowly open.
"L? Are you here?" It was the good doctor, he realized and then smiled; she was carrying a huge bowl of popcorn. He was surprised at how relieved he felt to see her.
"Yes, Dr. Thompson I am here." he called to her and she came all the way in and closed the door behind her.
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting the world's hundred greatest detectives, but I made way too much popcorn and I thought perhaps I'd share." She grinned holding the bowl out towards him. He unfolded himself from the chair and walked over to her. He grabbed a handful of popcorn and stuffed it in his mouth and began to chew thoughtfully. He looked at her and nodded his head.
"It's good, you can come in." he said and walked away from her back towards the table. She stared at his back as he walked away. Good thing the popcorn came out all right then, she thought to herself. Of course the popcorn was an excuse to come and see how he was doing. She hadn't felt good about the way he left, and she just wanted to make sure he was okay. She couldn't help the feeling of wanting to watch over him somehow, he just seemed to bring it out in her, just as many of the students at Whammy's did. Everything about him seemed to cry out to her, and maybe it was just she who saw it. He never came off as being needy, although wanting attention was definitely on his list. Perhaps if she could get a few moments alone with Watari she could bounce a few ideas off of him, but at the moment popcorn was all she could come up with.
She followed him into the room and stood behind him at his desk where he had gone back to sit. She put the popcorn down next to him and he immediately dug in. She looked at the several screens in front of her.
"You're working on all of these at once? I'm really sorry to interrupt you, it must throw you off." He turned to face her.
"No, it's fine for now. There are times I do not wish to be disturbed, and believe me I would let you know if that was the case. But right now, I find I am not against being pulled away from my thoughts." He walked over to the table where the chess set sat and began to straighten out pieces that had fallen over. She always watched the long, graceful fingers as they moved, they fascinated her. So, he wanted to play chess. Good. She got the best information out of him while they were playing chess, he just seemed to let his guard down a bit then. Perhaps he would tell her about that past situation that seemed to be sitting so heavily on him. But she wouldn't pry; it would have to be on his terms.
She followed him to the table with the bowl and sat opposite him. Their eyes met over the chessboard and didn't waver her gaze, determined to meet his challenge. Slowly a smile grew on his face and she smiled back.
"You're move, Doctor." She looked down and gasped in surprise. She hadn't even seen his hand move, but she was already on the defensive. She gaped back at him and his smile grew even bigger. Oh, this was ON!!
