AND WE'RE CHANGING OUR WAYS
I didn't want to admit what was happening to me. It was the same thing that happened over and over again. I met a man, he flipped this invisible switch in me, the part of me that wanted to be kept, controlled, and then I fell for him. I don't know why this cycle was destined to continue until it killed me, until I was useless to the entire male species. I had forced myself into dating Josh, a nice boy who would never push me into doing anything that I didn't want to, and then I tried to kill myself. So here I was again, drawn in by the unreachable man - the man that would never see himself as my equal - and I fell in love with him. The medication that Bane was giving me forced me to be compliant more than anything else. Yet, as I dug myself deeper and deeper into a hole of unrequited emotions, I felt my depression slipping away. The hopelessness seemed less prominent and a purpose returned to my life as well as inspiration. I gave my image one last check in the mirror and smiled as I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail. I bounced out of the washroom and sprung into the living room. He was sitting at his usual place at the kitchen table, dwarfing the chair he sat in, a laptop sitting in front of him. I planted a kiss on his neck as I passed, running my fingers across his shoulders. My coffee was waiting for me in the machine and I poured myself a cup. As soon as I sat down I outstretched my hand across the table to him. Without even looking up me he pulled the familiar pill bottle out of his pocket, popped the cap and dropped one of its contents into my open palm.
"Thank you." I said as I swallowed the small white pill with a gulp of coffee. Minutes passed and the only sound was of his fingers pressing down on the computer keys. I hummed aimlessly and strummed my fingers against the table. Suddenly a huge hand came down and slapped my hand against the table. Bane looked at me warningly from over the laptop screen. I just sighed and stood up from the table, wandering over to the other side of the living room where I had arranged stacks of photos and sketches or experimental paintings, "I want to go outside today." I informed him loudly.
"Not without a leash." He replied stonily. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the floor, fingering through a few of the photographs.
"I don't want to be trapped here anymore." I stated. I heard the sound of the chair scraping against the floor as he pushed it away from the table and stood.
"You may come to the compound with me if you wish." He suggested but I shook my head.
"Boring. I want to be outside, in the fresh air, amongst the people." I exclaimed dramatically, waving my arms around with a smile on my face, "I'll behave. I promise."
"They'll recognize you my little starlet. They'll recognize you and then they'll take you away from me."
"I don't care about them anymore." I jumped up and ran over to him, leaping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his strong torso, "They don't mean a thing. Only you." I kissed the side of his mask.
"And why is that?"
"You're so powerful." I all but moaned, "It's intoxicating." He chuckled and linked his arms around my back. I looked up at him with admiration, "Tell me, when are you going to strike? I've been watching you plan all week now, when are you making the first move?" I asked curiously.
"That is on a need to know basis." He answered calmly.
"I need to know." I smirked, "C'mon Bane, tell me. When are you going to light the match that sets the world on fire?"
"Soon." He responded vaguely, "Why so suddenly fascinated with my work?"
"I've always been interested." I caressed the metal teeth that used to scare me so very much, "Come here I want to show you something." I led him into the bedroom that he hadn't visited in about a week and a half. He spent all of his nights at the compound and only returned for meals. I opened the door and turned on the light, illuminating the piece I had been working on for 72 hours straight, "Do you like it?" I asked quietly. I had completely repainted the wall opposite of our bed. Instead of its previous state of plain white, the wall now displayed the haunting landscape of Gotham City.
"It's spectacular." Bane answered, his eyes not moving from the wall. Gotham was shown in what seemed to be a post-apocalyptic state. Buildings had deteriorated and burnt to the ground. I smiled up at him before moving backwards slowly towards the bed, a malicious smile on my face as I undid the buttons of my cardigan to reveal a bright red lacy bra. He tilted his head to one side, his expression unfathomable before he began advancing on me like a predator stalking his prey. It turned me on to no end.
"How quickly you've accepted your position here my little starlet. To be perfectly honest I thought you'd put up more of a fight." He said in a low voice.
"I've always been a big believer in not denying myself anything that I want." I spoke seductively, pushing my skirt down to my feet and stepping out of it as I reached the bed. I bit my lip as I watched how his eyes devoured my body.
"And what is it that you want exactly?"
"Right now…" I pretended to think about it for a moment, "Right now I want you to reward me, I've been such a good girl after all, haven't I?"
"Yes, you've been extremely well behaved I must admit." He replied with a raised eyebrow, "I think you do deserve a little reward." I held back a grin, "But I don't have time for that now." He finished. My face fell and I bit back the angry curse words that I wanted to spit at him for working me up like that. He reached out a lifted my chin up to meet his eyes again, "But I can't leave with you looking so… delicious." His hand fell to graze over my bra, his eyes dropping to appraise the cleavage that I exposed to him, "If you really want to go outside, I have one more thing for you to take care of." Then he pushed my shoulders down so that I was forced onto my knees. I looked up at him once more before pleasing him in a way that left me feeling uncomfortably aroused and totally unsatisfied.
There was something terribly unsettling about being left alone under armed guard. It was like at the back of my mind I could always sense the presences outside my door, permitted to shoot me if there was probable cause. I stayed in my bedroom most of the day, working on a little watercolors of the scene outside my window, but I soon became restless and abandoned the picturesque little painting on the windowsill. I looked around the room before noticing something that had escaped my vision before. A little safe positioned on the top shelf of Bane's closet, there was just enough space between his clothes to make out the dial. I sprang up and ran over to it, moving the pairs of pants aside. It was locked. Of course it was locked. I wondered what was inside of it. I got a strong urge to find out. It had been a long time since I picked a lock, high school lockers didn't really compare to this. I had always had a knack for it though, and once I had collected the makeshift household items that I would need, I set to work. It was difficult but the safe really wasn't all that secure, whatever was inside of it he didn't care that much about. Soon enough, it was open. I eagerly put my hand inside to pull out its contents. My hand wrapped around a familiar object and I smiled. My cell was now in the palm of my hand. I turned on the device and sure enough the signal was strong in the apartment. There was only one number that I wanted to call.
"Hello?" He answered, I heard the sound of typing in the background and I knew that I had caught him at work. I smiled into the receiver.
"Is this officer John Blake?" I teased.
"Yes, who is this?"
"I don't know…" I smirked, "Who do you want it to be?" My voice was seductive though I really didn't have much romantic interest in the man at the moment, considering my current situation. He was someone to talk to though. The only person who I felt I could talk to without having the reveal where I had been for the last month.
"Magdalene Grey." He laughed quietly, "I have to be honest. I never thought I'd hear from you again."
"I wouldn't blow off a member of Gotham's finest. Speaking of, how is the city holding up since I've been gone? In pieces I would imagine."
"It's in desperate need of its favorite pastime." He responded smoothly, "When are you getting back?"
"I don't know yet. I kind of like it here." I answered, "The police officers here aren't as cute though, which is a major draw back." He chuckled.
"Where are you?"
"The Middle East." I lied quickly, "I'm taking some kind of soul searching retreat on doctors orders. It's amazing what they can get you to do or how much money they can get you to spend. It is beautiful here though." It felt so easy lying to him, almost as if I was telling the truth and I really was on a vacation in the Middle East.
"And how's it going?"
"What?"
"The soul searching?" He asked.
"I haven't found it yet I don't think." I answered with a smile, "I don't know, how can you tell?"
"I think you just know."
"Has anybody missed me?" I asked curiously, "I mean I don't want to sound self-involved or anything, I'm just curious."
"The tabloids were going crazy for a little bit but things have settled down, I think they sent a bunch of reporters out to try to track you down. If you see anyone hiding behind a camel with a camera you'll know that they've found you." He said. I laughed and shook my head sadly.
"Oh dear." I sighed, "Officer John Blake, I think I've missed you." I didn't want to admit that I missed the outside world, and the cute police officer, and Josh so very dearly, but I have. I even kind of missed John Daggett.
"I miss you too." He replied and I could almost hear the smile on his face, "Come back soon."
"I will." I could hear the door opening and closing from the living room, "Look, I have to go, I'll call you again soon okay?" I didn't give him a chance to answer though as I sprang up and threw the phone back into the safe, shutting it quickly and lying back down on the bed. I grabbed a book from the side table to give off the appearance that I was busy. The heavy footsteps paused for a moment in front of the bedroom door and I looked up to see Bane looming in the doorway.
"Tomorrow." He said simply. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "It all starts tomorrow. You will be able to watch it on the news if you want." I nodded absentmindedly and pretended to go back to my book. He walked towards me slowly and his hand found my back, running his palm along my spine. I shivered at the warm touch, "I thought you were interesting in my work."
"I am." I replied, "I just don't know how I feel about it yet." I admitted, "Gotham is my home after all. I was born here and I'll die here, against my will." I quoted one of my favorite Bob Dylan songs. He nodded thoughtfully and sat down on the bed beside me.
"This city will get what it deserves." He said. I'd heard it all before, it was nothing new. He would tell me all about the corruption and his destiny, or the destiny of a man that was now long dead. I didn't really understand him sometimes when he talked like that. It was like the words were not his own.
"And what does it deserve?" I asked, I knew that I was probably pushing my luck with him but I had convinced myself that I wasn't his pet and I wasn't going to act like I was. He looked at me hard for a moment before answering.
"To burn."
"Says who?" My voice was becoming more venomous with passion.
"Says me." He rebutted but I just shook my head, staring into his eyes intently. Looking for passion behind his words but I couldn't find any.
"No." I whispered, my face only inches from him, "No I don't believe you. This isn't you. I don't know why you're doing this but it isn't you. I know that. This isn't your destiny, isn't your goal, it's somebody else's. You must be very loyal to this person to want to do something like this for them."
"You are very observant my little starlet." He chuckled but there was an edge to his laugh to made me uneasy, "Perhaps too observant for your own good. I suppose you think you've got it all figured out then. That you see me for what I truly am."
"I can't even scratch the surface." I replied, lowering my eyes to his mask, "How could I? You won't even tell me how you got that mask."
"It's not a story I wish to tell you."
"Well it seems like a story worth telling nevertheless." I commented. All the humor seemed to have drained from his face. He pushed me back onto the bed and held me there as he hovered over me menacingly.
"And what makes you think that you are in a position to be questioning my motives like this. I will admit that it is brave of you but bravery is just a kind word for stupidity don't you think?"
"No!" I shouted and tried to push him off, "No I don't think that at all. If you think that I'm just going to sit by demurely as you destroy the only city I've ever known. Ever called home, then you are mistaken. I might not be stupid enough to think that I can change your mind but I know that I am brave enough to speak up for what I believe in." To my surprise he got off of me. There was a strange glint to his eyes that I had never seen before.
"Hmm." He said.
"Hmm?"
"Yes." He got off the bed and walked back into the living room. I followed behind him curiously as he stationed himself at the kitchen table and pulled out his laptop, "Run along now." He turned towards me once more, "I have work to do. Tomorrow is going to be a big day." I just stood there in sunned silence.
"What?" I scoffed, "That's it, end of discussion? You're just going to disregard everything that I just said?"
"I thought you stated that you weren't stupid enough to think that you were going to change my mind." He answered and started typing in the forceful and slow way that he did. As if the keys had done something to anger him.
"Yes but I thought that you would try to change mine."
"I have no desire to do such a thing." He replied coolly, "You are entitled to your own opinion." My mouth hung open in a rather unattractive way as I stared at the back of his head, "You will not change my mind and I shall not change yours. I find no reason to discuss the issue any further."
"So we're at an impasse then." I said.
"No, not an impasse. Simply a small disagreement that makes absolutely no difference in the long run anyways and will thus in no way effect our relationship."
"Our relationship?"
"Yes." Then it was as if I didn't exist to him. He was back in his world of evil schemes and making Gotham pay. I briefly wondered what would happen to me when he took down the city, I wondered if he thought that I needed to be punished as well. It wouldn't be unthinkable of him to believe that I did.
"Maybe I should burn too." I mumbled, still standing in the same place as before, "Here I am, sleeping with my own downfall." I thought for a moment, "No, that's not true. I'm my own downfall."
"Then perhaps you should think of me as your salvation." Bane spoke, never looking away from his computer screen, "Your liberation."
"My reckoning." I finished. I then turned on my heels and walked back into our bedroom and cried. I don't know how long I cried because soon enough I had sobbed myself into a deep sleep.
There is something jarring about waking up and having no idea where you are. Before I even opened my eyes I could feel that I wasn't in the house anymore. There was nothing but dead silence around me. There were no reassuring sounds of traffic outside the window or of a clock ticking on the bedside table. I could feel the springs in the mattress I was lying on as it creaked loudly when I shifted. I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. I looked like I was in a prison cell. The room was made of cement and has absolutely no furnishings, unless you called the little puddle of water on the ground decorative. My thoughts were scattered and I couldn't figure out why I was here.
"I thought quite a bit about what you said." A booming voice came from the far side of the room. I could see his outline highlighted by the little light behind him, "It seems that we were at an impasse."
"Bane?" I spoke, my voice cracking slightly out of fear, "Bane what did you do? Why am I here?"
"I suppose I want you to see things my way for a little while. I want you to feel the desperation that I felt while all the while clinging to the hope, the small hope, that I will let you out of here."
"Stop this!" I screamed, his words putting my into a panic, "Why are you doing this to me? I thought you cared about me!"
"You were right, you needed to be punished." He replied, ignoring my questions, "You tried to kill yourself. You are a rich little girl who could have anything that you want. Who could do so much for the world and instead you drown yourself in alcohol and drugs and try to end it all without a single care for anyone around you. You need to see what true suffering is like, only then can you be redeemed." And then he left me there, in the dark, alone. I felt like my heart was going to pound out of chest. I felt like I was going to throw up. For the first time in a long time I felt completely and utterly trapped. The darkness was starting to close around me and a familiar terror filled me. I couldn't breathe. I was going to die. Wasn't this what I wanted? No, not like this. I would have suffered a thousand painful deaths to avoid dying like this. Confined. Caged like an animal. It was a fate worst then death, a fate that I faced once before but narrowly survived. Now, more than ever, I wished that I hadn't.
Sorry for the late update guys! I think I know where this story is going now so I should update at least one a week from now on :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think of this chapter! Give me your thoughts on what's gonna happen to poor Magdalene...
