Short chapter is short. Oh well. I have to prepare for a choir concert that's happening soon…and by soon I mean tomorrow.
I love this song by the way. I listened to it while writing this. It's so sad…*sniff*
Departure (Piano+Guitar) from Rurouni Kenshin
Also, deep sea girl, piano accord, by hatsune miku.
Also, we're nearing the end of this fic. I'm indescicive on how to end it…There are two possible scenarios, at least in my mind. So, I'll try to hurry it on up and post it up real soon. As always, LotF doesn't belong to me. You should know that…I hope.
BEWARE! FEELS.
….
Chapter five: Drug
"Jack?" A soft voice called, "Jack, are you ok?" I slowly looked upwards and met the eyes of Mrs. Cindy, the psychologist. She looked down at me with crystal blue eyes, too-blonde hair framing her pretty face. For some reason, she reminded me today of Ralph. "Jack, what's wrong? You were doing so well last time we met."
I didn't say anything. I just kept staring at the floor like it was the most interesting thing I had ever seen in my whole life. Perhaps it was, and I just had never known it. Oak paneling lapping at each other's sides, caressing each grain, each one was so similar…yet so different. Like the meadow; how I could never seem to put a finger on where I was exactly when I was there. At the same time though, I knew the place like it was home. I'd been there before. I was so sure of it!
"Jack." Mrs. Cindy adamantly broke in, "I need you to talk to me. Did something happen at school? Is somebody picking on you?"
"…No ma'am. Nothing happened at school. Nobody's picking on me." I responded obediently and quietly, still having a conversation with the floor through my eyes. She sighed and scribbled something down on her notepad.
"What's wrong, Jack?"
She kept saying my name like that. I didn't like it. Still, I wanted to go home, so I tried to answer as truthfully as possible without telling her what was really happening. For some unexplainable reason, I didn't want her to know; I didn't want anybody to know. These dreams, or nightmares, were mine. Plus, she might think I was crazy and put me in one of those asylums or something; because, lately, the nightmare part had started to become a lot more vivid. I hadn't seen Ralph in such a long time…Only savages who chased me along pathways of silence and a red moon that gave off no light. I almost always woke up right before I died…But…Last night…I…I had been on the beach again. I had seen the others, sitting some distance off without me. They had been waiting, I heard them tell me. They had been waiting for me for so long…I needed to go to them, but I didn't know how. Every time I got closer, it was like I wasn't even there. They couldn't see me, or they'd vanish; slip through my fingers once again. I shook my head and came back to the present.
"I can't sleep." I said almost truthfully.
She sighed again and scribbled more on the notepad, tapping the bridge of her nose gently with the pen when she had finished. Then, Mrs. Cindy looked up and smiled gently. "Thank you. See, was that all that hard?" She laughed lightly, not mocking, but friendly, "We're all just trying to help you here, Jack. Now that I know what's wrong, I can prescribe something that will help even more than I can. How does that sound? Good?"
I nodded and buried my face between my knees, trying to close my eyes for a moment. The room itself was just noise to me; there was of course the floor, which seemed to call for all my attention, but in addition to that, there were the large white walls, pale and yellowing in the afternoon sunlight. A coffee table, also modern and white, sat in between Mrs. Cindy's chair and my own. Two of the walls were made completely of glass, revealing the golden forest outside. That forest was nothing like the one in my dreams; far too green and living and breathing to be even remotely similar. Thus, I shunned it. It's only what it deserved.
"That sounds very good." I responded, detached and quite sure she wasn't listening anymore. My suspicions were confirmed when, only a moment later, footsteps echoed around my chair. She hadn't even been in the room. Fantastic.
Mrs. Cindy opened one of my hands and forced my fingers around something plastic and small. "These are sleeping pills." She said, "Take only one a night, maybe two if your parents say so, alright?"
"Yes'm." I choked a reply. I had started to sob again. She wrapped an arm over my shoulders while I wept, not saying a word. At times, especially ones like this, it was almost like she wasn't my therapist at all, but more like a mom or a grandma or something. Eventually, my crying grew in intensity. I didn't know exactly what I was crying about…but I did anyway. Maybe all this pent-up emotion was getting to me after all. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I always thought I was. Maybe I was a coward! Maybe….Maybe…
…I…I…I just…please…
"I…just…want…my…friends back!" I screamed through the tears, "I should've…Why? Why…did it have to be them? Not me?! I would…give anything…anything in this whole…wide world…just to see them…to really see them…!"
"Jack, it's ok." The woman at my shoulder crooned, "We all have things we need to let go of."
I shook her off and ran out of the room, that stupid room and all its confines. "I DON'T WANT TO LET GO!" I shrieked, "Please…I don't want to… forget you…I don't want to forget anymore…"
Stay
Don't…
Don't go…
Don't leave me…
You're...
Running away?
Already
So soon?
You
Would leave me
Like this?
Stay
Please
Don't…
Don't…
Don't…
"…Please don't leave me here alone…"
