January 12, 1853
Mrs. Taylor closed school today at noon because she is ill. The younger children like Joe and the Sullivans took the chance to make an ice-slide in the schoolyard and have fun together instead going straight home. Annie and I sat in the small school's stable together and she told me some more about her family. She said that the day after I left her stepfather and her mother talked all night. She didn't remember that they had done so before. One result was that they both said they wanted their children to find happiness in life and that was why Annie could attend school again.
I already knew that Mr. Sullivan was only her stepfather but now she told me how it all came about. Annie's mother gave birth to Annie at the age of fifteen shortly after she and her family arrived in New York City from Ireland. She wasn't married then so Annie didn't have a legal father. They lived in a single room shared by three families and the arrival of a bastard child was very unwelcome and disapproved of. Her own father had been dead a long time so her uncle married her off to Mr. Sullivan, who was ten years older and had just lost his wife in childbed so he needed a wet nurse. She tried her best but the other baby girl died shortly after the wedding. Half a year later Mr. Sullivan had enough money to join a wagon train going west, and she had to leave all her relatives forever. On their way west Mr. Sullivan's little boy died too, so only Annie was left. Annie said she believes that her stepfather never really got over the loss of that first wife he loved and her children. Her own ma never took the other woman's place and he couldn't love the new children either. But now she felt for the first time that her parents were seeing that they did care for each other. Annie looked at me with her shy smile and I hugged her there in the stable and told her that all will be better.
I felt so bad for Annie's mother, she really had it hard. I also thought about our Pa and how happy we all can be that he overcame the loss of three wives!
February 24, 1853 (aged 16)
Today Pa traded four steers for six horses. I think he mostly did it because the Indians need the food badly at the end of the long winter. Two of the horses are old and we will release them back to the wild but the others are fine young animals. The pinto and the black are not full-grown yet but maybe we can train them for riding in the fall. They could become very fine cattle horses.
March 23, 1853
Annie, Will and Johnny weren't in school the last two days. Mary told me they were at home helping to plant potatoes in the field their father had plowed last Saturday. Every spring he borrows a plow and a horse for doing it. After school I rode to their place. The family came back from the field to their house just as I got there Annie's mother carrying Bridget, and Annie holding Martin by the hand. Annie smiled at me while she led the little boy to the pump and washed his dirty face and hands. "Look, Hoss!" she called and showed me the cords stretched in to form rectangles beside the house. "Father will extend our vegetable garden and …, " she turned pointing to the house, "there will be a few flowerbeds at the front of the house too." I turned and saw Mrs. Sullivan smile at the small rosebushes planted next to the door now before she went into the cabin taking Bridget with her.
It looks like a lot of work and I asked Annie if I could help after school.
March 28, 1853
For the last week I've been going after school to the Sullivans' place and break up the soil in the garden. I couldn't do it if Joe hadn't volunteered to do a few of my chores! I'm so glad he did!
I met Annie's father a few times when he came from his work. Even now that I know more about his life I try to avoid him. Tomorrow I'll bring them the seeds, offshoots and bulbs Hop Sing gave me.
March 30, 1853
Today Pa used his belt on Joe for the first time. Pa found him standing in the corral between the unbroken Indian horses trying to tame them by feeding them oats from his palm. They didn't do anything to Little Joe but they could have. Carrying the oats in his pockets was especially dangerous because the hungry and wild animals could have pushed him to reach the oats. And when you try to keep them away they could get startled and trample you. I think Joe deserved to be punished but Pa overreacted. I tried to tell Pa that and make him aware how well Joe can handle horses but in the end he just got angry with me too.
April 2, 1853
I'm getting more used to Mr. Sullivan. He thanked me for my help and invited me for dinner. Normally I would tell him I need to get home but today I accepted his invitation. Annie sat next to me and looked very proud, not sure about what.
April 16, 1853
Today Joe did something really big.
Pa and I were loading the wagon with some heavy crates on the alley behind the store when a woman holding a little girl around four years by the hand came around the corner. Little Joe was walking behind her. She asked Pa if the boy was his. I saw Pa was startled and suspicious but he nodded. Real unexpectedly the women grabbed his hand and shook it vigorously stammering, "Thank you for that boy, he just saved Daisy's life." "I only grabbed her, Ma'am," Joe said, blushing and looking at Pa. "He grabbed her when that drunken rider was galloping down the street. Such an alert boy! She broke free of my hand and ran into the street." The mother looked sternly at her daughter, "That was very bad, you know!" The little girl nodded contritely and you could see tears pooling in her eyes. Joe's pleasure faded as he saw her desperate look. He knelt before her and said in a real big brother manner, "Promise me and your ma, you will never run into the street without looking!" She bobbed her head eagerly beaming a relieved smile at Joe. When the girl nodded her mother gave Joe a big smile, too. She insisted on giving him a dollar and then they left, still smiling broadly.
Pa allowed Joe to get the hunting knife he never let him have before. Paying the rest of the bill Pa said that he knew he could trust a boy as responsible as Joe had become to handle the knife carefully.
When I remember the smiles of that mother and daughter I wonder if Little Joe doesn't have too much charm for his own good.
May 8, 1853
Rosie has her foal, another colt – a black one. The birth was dangerous but Charlie and I managed it well. Because of his father the foal has a refined head but because of his mother he seems a bit chubby for a racehorse colt. We will see what he will become.
Pa allowed Joe to feed the Indian horses but from outside the corral. Whenever you look for him you will find him standing there.
May 29, 1853
Today I went back again to Annie's place. I had promised her father to help him repair the roof. The cabin looks real friendly now with its new paint and the brightly blooming flowers on the front side. After work I was sitting with Annie on the bench her father made recently, when her mother came outside and cut a bunch of flowers. Her father was next to the pump drying his hands with a towel. When Annie's mother was about to leave the yard her husband asked her where she was going. "Taking Tommy some flowers," she answered and walked on. "Wait a moment," he mumbled. "I come with you." Annie squeezed my hand and then called after her parents, "Take your time, I ´ll look after the children." And her parents didn't come back until an hour later saying they had gone for a little walk and looking happier than I've ever seen them.
June 4, 1853
Joe's birthday is near. He isn't the cute little boy anymore. He has grown a lot. He spends much time thinking up pranks, like exchanging the sugar and salt or putting frogs in the teacher's desk. Today I rescued the poor innocent frog Joe put in the kitchen cupboard while Hop Sing chased Joe waving his wooden spoon. It was funny seeing Hop Sing and Joe running around the table.
June 4, 1853 two hours later
Never laugh at a prankster. When I tried to put my head through the hole of my nightshirt I couldn't. While I was struggling I heard a giggle and running bare feet. The rascal had sewn the collar closed. But I pinned him in his bed and tickled him until he promised he would never do that to me again. I'm sure he had crossed his fingers, besides he's sure to think up a lot of other pranks.
June 12, 1853
Joe's eleven now. I still remember the little boy who slept in my bed when he was afraid at night.
That's long ago. I never told anyone but last summer I caught him and his friend Mitch sneaking out for a midnight ride. They were lucky I was the one who caught them! Thinking about that I knew what my birthday gift would be.
The big hug he gave me told me how delighted he was when I promised to take him and Mitch on an overnight trip for fishing and maybe hunting this summer.
June 30, 1853
Today I finished school. A year ago I would have hopped around like crazy but now it felt a bit odd. Not that I really liked school but it wasn't so bad anymore and having Annie there too made it a lot better. My last report card is the best I ever had and Pa and Joe looked proud when Miss Taylor gave it to me in the little ceremony we always have at the end of the school term.
July 15, 1853
I'm not sure what has worn me more out: the haying or the weekend with Joe and Mitch. They didn't sleep more than two hours, what with Joe teaching Mitch the star constellations and then the pair of them scaring each other with horror stories until they were too afraid to fall asleep. They wound up sitting next to the fire pretending they really weren't sleepy. Joe's stories were so vivid I almost was scared myself when that branch cracked near our camp.
August 2, 1853
Adam will arrive in less than two weeks. It's incredible. First the four years didn't move and now it's all ending so quickly. Hop Sing aired and cleaned Adam's room and Pa is planning a big welcome party. I'm looking forward to his arrival a little nervous, too. Maybe he is too educated for me now?
August 4, 1853
Pa told me he wants to celebrate Adam's home coming and my birthday in a combined party. I was puzzled, it should be just Adam's party since he was so far away for so long and had graduated from college. We could celebrate my birthday with a dinner the way we always do. Just having a birthday isn't like doing something big, I said. "Erik," Pa said sternly and I flinched at the use of my given name. "I would like to celebrate both my mature boys and show how proud I am of you both! When we slaughter the fatted calf I want to celebrate not just the son who's returning-and not as a prodigal, either!- but also the other one who helped me here and has grown into a mature young man of seventeen years."
August 13, 1853
Dear Journ,
Tomorrow afternoon after church the stagecoach with Adam will arrive. We've cleaned the whole Ponderosa or at least the whole house, the yard, and the barn, already. Hop Sing prepared a lot of food and baked a cake. I shined my boots, my shirt is fresh and my suit is pressed. All is ready, I'm so excited! I'm sure I won't sleep tonight!
