August 14, 1853
He is back, he is back, he is back!
He looks fine and he isn't snobby after all. His hair is a bit longer and his face a bit more edged but that's normal: he is an adult now! But I will tell you right from the beginning.
After church we sat in the International House drinking coffee and waiting for the stagecoach. Pa and I checked our pocket watches every five minutes and then the stage arrived 20 minutes early! Joe saw it first and we literally ran outside and over to the stop. From a distance, we saw a thick man emerge and then Adam, looking around him. When he saw us hurry towards the coach his smile got truly as big as his whole face and he also ran to meet us.
Pa spread his arms and Adam threw himself into the embrace. When I heard Pa whispering to him, "Welcome back, my little big boy! I'm so happy I have you back!" I knew how worried Pa must have been that something would happen to his eldest son, because I haven't heard him call Adam his "little big boy" in forever. It's a pet name from his childhood. I asked Pa about it once and he told me that when Adam was a toddler and got his first britches he insisted he was a big boy now and so it became his pet name, because for Pa he remained his little baby boy.
After Pa it was my turn. Adam hugged me and then looking up to me he said, "I surely can't carry you anymore, little brother. I thought you must be big by now but bigger than me? That's not right!" He laughed and clapped me on my shoulder. Then he turned to Joe, who stood there motionless only staring at Adam. "But you, I can still lift, Little Joe!" And Adam started towards him. Joe took a step back. I thought about how Joe hates to be held or lifted and was relieved when Adam said, "But I won't. Hello, little buddy." Adam still seemed to want to hug him, but Joe held his hand out and said "Howdy!" so they shook hands formally. Adam's expression was a bit puzzled but he said nothing.
I realize now how long those four years must have been for Joe, he was only seven when Adam left.
Pa, Adam and I sat a long time together on the porch, even Hop Sing joined us for an hour. We drank a glass of whiskey and finally before we all went to our rooms Adam and Pa sang a little song together. It was Swedish and came from my ma. I feel younger now somehow.
August 22, 1853
It's so good to have Adam here because now I have somebody to ask for advice.
I told Adam that I'm a little afraid about the dance we will have at the big party. I'm so unmusical and I surely will step on all the women's feet. Adam asked why I thought that. "Because I can't sing," I answered. He shook his head. "Dancing has nothing to do with singing, Hoss. And if I know one thing it's that you have a good feeling for rhythm. That's what you need for dancing. I'll teach you the steps and I'm sure you will do just fine." So we practice each evening and it's fun. Joe looks very scornfully at us so we practice after his bedtime.
August 31, 1853
Adam's been back now for two weeks. I know it's hard for him that Joe reacts like he is a stranger. Even after Adam gave him new toys and a book he brought from Boston Joe is reserved. He avoids being touched by Adam and doesn't laugh when Adam tries to joke with him. I spoke with Joe about it. He shrugged and said, Adam speaks like books and teachers and he treats him like a little kid- even the toys were for smaller children.
September 2, 1853
Maybe today the barrier between Adam and Joe broke. Adam asked Joe if he wanted to come with him to the horse market at Carson City to look for a new horse for Adam. Joe couldn't resist seeing horses so he agreed.
Pa was upset when they came back long after dark and reprimanded Adam for being so late. Maybe that was the last straw. I saw them look at each other the way brothers do after getting a scold. The tension didn't last long and during the dinner Joe and Adam chatted about the horses they had seen and especially about that chestnut gelding they had chosen for Adam - both of them with sparkling eyes.
September 3, 1853
I was a bit nervous when I rode to the Sullivans' to invite Annie to our party. I haven't been there since Adam's arrival. Annie was sure happy to see me and even her parents seemed glad.
I told them about our party and that I would be delighted if Annie could be my guest. Annie looked happy but when I said more about the party and that we will be having real music her face grew longer and longer. I didn´t understand. Then she turned saying she wouldn't come. I was startled and told her that the whole party would be dull for me without her. Suddenly she got up from the table and almost knocked down her chair as she ran to the door, crying that she didn't have a dress for such a fancy party.
"Wait, Annie," her mother called. "I won't have my daughter not go to her first dance because she hasn't got a pretty dress! You know we have one." Annie turned slowly and looked at her mother, surprised "But, mother, it's …it's your dress made by your own mother." "Yes, and I would like to give it to my daughter now," her mother smiled. "I just saw some nice ribbons in the store that would match perfectly. With a few changes and those ribbons you will have a dress that everyone else will envy you," she said. "I think we can afford to buy Annie some ribbons?" She looked questioningly at her husband who shrugged and then nodded. A happy smile spread across Annie's face as she thanked her parents. Her mother made a gesture in my direction and Annie, with laughing eyes, came over to me. "Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Cartwright, I accept it with great joy." And then she gave me a quick hug.
September 9, 1853
Now I'm seventeen, I couldn't write yesterday, it was too late. I never had such a good day ever. Hop Sing had two cousins helping him with the food, even the hands in the bunkhouse got their share of it all. Besides Annie I invited Charlie—at first he wanted to refuse but I insisted—Mike and Jake and John. Pa had invited all the families we are friendly with and Roy Coffee and Doc Martin, but the doctor couldn't come. Joe was happy, too, because the Devlins were invited.
At late afternoon I drove to the Sullivan's place to collect Annie. I had gasped when I first saw her in that dress: she looked so elegant and grown up! When I helped her into the carriage Mr. Sullivan held my arm and said, "I trust you with my st…daughter, lad, bring her healthy and unscratched back or else …" Her mother smiled at her and said, "Have a good time!" Both parents waved when we left the yard.
The party itself was great. Pa delivered a speech. Annie and I danced a lot together. The food was delicious and except for one trip to the punchbowl Joe and Mitch behaved. Adam danced with a lot of girls, even two times with Annie but I didn't like it very much.
At midnight the party ended and I drove Annie back. I brought her back healthy and unscratched if you don't count a kiss or two. Yes, it was the best day ever!
September 16, 1853 (aged 17)
Yesterday morning Adam brought a parcel downstairs with him. It was a belated present for Joe's eleventh birthday, he said. In it were small leather chaps. Joe was exited but Pa was angry.
After Joe left for school the storm broke loose. "Why should Joe need chaps?" Pa asked in an ominous tone of voice. "Because he will help to break Cochise, the pinto," Adam said without a flinch.
And then they argued. Loudly. I would never dare to speak that way to Pa. Adam told Pa that Joe was a natural with horses. And Pa asked how Adam could possibly know that. Adam answered because he could ride Sport – Adam's new horse- without a saddle. Pa got furious and demanded why Adam had allowed Joe to ride as spirited a horse as Sport. Adam said, because his brother has inherited his horse sense from Marie. "And her reckless way of riding," Pa said in a lower voice. "Maybe. But you can't keep a whale in a goldfish bowl, Pa. Once he gets free he would be real reckless looking for the ocean. Let him learn while we can supervise him. If he puts himself in danger I will handle that myself but he has to learn now," Adam answered. Pa sighed and said, "Maybe you are right, son, I can't hold him back from his nature. But I fear for him." "I know", Adam said. "I do too!"
After that Adam told Pa he would like to take me with him to the saloon next Saturday evening. Pa was about to refuse, saying I was only 17. When Adam took a big breath Pa threw up his arms and said,"All right, Adam, all right, but don't overdo it, sons. I expect you both home in a suitable condition for church on Sunday." Pa glared from one of us to the other. "Yes, Sir!" we answered in unison and looked at each other the way brothers do when they get permission for something they weren't sure they would.
Now I'm dressed and looking forward to another real great evening!
Being a big brother is fine but having one is better!
The End
