Here's the next chapter, enjoy. :D By the way, we were trying to make fun of yaoi here. Sorta kinda worked... :3
Suddenly, the music stopped, and the lights went out. It was pitch black. "Oh no!" exclaimed Riza. "What happened?" There was no response. "Roy…? Bradley...? Envy…? ...Arnold Schwarzenegger?" Still no response.
The lights flickered, and Riza caught a terrifying glimpse of what was going on. There, in the corner of the room, were Envy and Bradley, silently making out. Roy stood close by, impatiently waiting his turn. "NOO!" Riza screamed. "MUST YAOI INVADE EVERY OTHER FANFICTION!" She shrieked a terrifying, bloodcurdling scream before running out of the room, leaving behind a Riza-shaped hole in the wall.
The two writers of this fanfiction gasped at the atrocity of what their characters were doing. The Salty-Wet Author grabbed her laptop and madly typed something while the Sculpted-Abs Author nodded approvingly. Envy and Bradley were immediately stuck into little cells and shoved against the wall. Roy was strapped to the time-out chair.
Kain popped his head through the Kain-shape hole in the wall. "PICKLED BLUEBERRIES!" he exclaimed, before leaving.
No one noticed poor unnoticed Kain. No one ever noticed Kain. Poor Kain. Poor, poor Kain.
"NOOO!" Roy shouted. "The yaoi! The yaoi! I must have it!" Roy struggled with his bindings. It was at that moment that Sculpted-Abs Author looked at Salty-Wet Author with a horrified look on her face. It wasn't the character's fault! They had all been brainwashed by fangirls!
Poor Roy. Poor Envy. Poor King Bradley. Legions of fluffy fangirls wearing frilly pink miniskirts and brandishing pom-poms had infected their brains with unnecessary ideas. It was quite a sad thing. The Salty-Wet Author shook her head morosely. Reaching for Salty-Wet's laptop, Sculpted-Abs typed something. Salty-Wet looked at it. It read, "The three unfortunate fangirl-infected people were un-brainwashed, and became happy once more." She gave Sculpted-Abs a thumbs up.
The three newly un-brainwashed men sat in their relative chairs and cages. Suddenly, Envy shape shifted into Gluttony, ate his cage, and left through the Riza-shaped hole in the wall. Roy snapped his fingers, and the chair and ropes burned into ashes. He walked out through the Alphonse-shaped hole. He would have walked though the Kain-shaped hole, had he noticed it, but no one ever notices Kain. Bradley sat in his cage, wondering how to get out.
Meanwhile...
In a courtyard in Central, Riza was hitting herself in the head on a tree, muttering, "Yaoi... ug... No! Grr... yaoi... nyaagh!" Roy emerged into the courtyard, wearing a large, fluffy purple wig and singing a ballad.
Roy stopped singing as he caught sight of Riza. He stared at her. His wig turned orange, then back to purple, without him noticing. "The oogles?" he asked. "Yes." she replied, then continued banging her head on the tree. "Stupid... rawr... yaoi... gar!"
A faint wailing was heard from inside the building. It grew louder. Roy looked around for the source. Armstrong ran into the courtyard with his face in his hands, bawling. "They... They took my LOLLIPOP! WAHHHHAHAHAHAH!" He fell to the ground and started spasmodically twitching. Roy shook his head sadly. Riza left her head-hitting to come and pat Armstrong on the back.
Roy began singing his ballad again. As Riza and Armstrong watched, something floated out of the top of his head. It was a foggy, reddish haze, that slowly formed itself into an R. "No! The R from my name!" shouted Oy. Armstrong burst into tears again. "Come back here!" Oy yelled. Riza stared for a moment, then started laughing. She pulled out a plush platypus from her uniform and began pinching its head, giggling evilly. Armstrong gasped as a pinkish, sparkly fog flew out of the top of his head and became an R, then doubled itself. "No!" shouted Amstong. Riza looked on, cackling. Then an R came out of her head. "Ack!" shrieked Iza.
Into the courtyard ran Edwad and Alphonse Elic. Edwad was chasing two golden R's, while Alphonse ran after a gray one. Kain Fuey dashed in, following a brown R. He caught up with it, snatched it out of the air, stuffed it into his head, and became Kain Fuery again. Maia Oss chased two black R's around while Beda attacked his yellow one, and then Falman came in to watch everyone chase their R's. Beda and Oss succeeded, and quickly left with Fuery as Breda and Maria Ross, while Edwad caught one of his and became Edwad Elric. Iza, Oy, and Amstong were now all after their R's.
Wath entered one end of the courtyard, sprinted across it after a purple R, and ran out the other end. Pide/Badley and Geed went wailing after him, chasing more R's. Iza caught her R, and became Riza. Winy ran around, batting at an R with her famous wrench. Alphonse snatched his, only for life to remember that to Japanese people, R's and L's are pretty much the same. Poor Aphonse Eric kept running, this time after his L's, and Faman began a chase of his own. Edwad Eic caught his L. Pide/Badley became Pide/Badey. Aex Ouis Amstong caught one of his R's, and became Aex Ouis Armstong. Sounds of triumph came from the building as Wath and Pide/Badey caught their letters, while Geed had not.
After a few minutes, everyone had caught their stray letters except for Edwad chasing his R, and Aex Louis Armstrong, still after an L. All the other victims of the R and L escape were sitting on beach towels in a half circle, watching the two people and eating popcorn. Aex grabbed his out of the air, but it turned into a wild black-haired teenager with sagging pants, a slouch, and black eye shadow. Armstrong screamed and dropped him. He turned back into an L. Armstrong growled and chased it again.
Aex eventually caught his L and became Alex Louis Armstrong. He joined the rest of the people watching Edwad. Little Edwad was far too short to catch his R easily. "Hey, need some help, bean?" Roy shouted. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE LOOKS LIKE AN ALMOND!" Roy snickered. Infuriated, Edwad caught his R immediately and threw it at Roy, who tried to dodge it but failed horribly, and became Rory. Rory yelled indignantly while Edwad cackled.
Rory stood up and started pulling at his head, tearing out chunks of hair. At this point Edwad was rolling on the ground laughing, pointing at Rory and giggling hysterically. "Aha!" Rory cried, and extracted the golden R from his head. "Come and get it!" he called. Edwad stopped laughing. Roy pulled back his arm, as if to throw the R. "NO!" screeched Edwad, who got up and ran to Roy, but too late. Roy tossed the R, and it flew over the top of Central. "Nooo!" Edwad ran after it. Roy grinned and rubbed his hands together. He entered the semicircle of watchers and intently watched. What he was watching, he had no idea. They all continued watching whatever it was they were watching.
But Roy soon found out what they were watching. In the middle of the half-circle, a large and extremely sparkly "T" began to appear, floating in midair. The sparkly-ness reminded them of that one scene in New Moon where Edward Cullen takes off his shirt. They all began to gag at the repulsive thought. Anyway. An "H" began to appear, and after that, an "E". As a space began to appear, Roy became horrified as he realized what was being spelled out. What would happen to him after the fanfiction ended? Would he be reincarnated into another crackfic? E. What if the crackfic he was reincarnated into was discontinued? Would he be frozen in time forever? N. Or what if he would simply blink out of existence? Roy's deep thoughts were interrupted when suddenly- D.
Hope you liked it. :3
