AN: OK I am SOoooOOooooOO sorry its taken so long to update this. This chapter is *strongly* influenced by the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch and is basically my OTP song for Ian/Emily. But yeah, not sure how long this will be but it will be very dramatic I promise. Oh btw KaitlinRoxUrSox wrote an epic one-shot for this song as well, so good read that too!

"I only did what I thought was truly right. It's a long and lonely road… When you know you walk alone."

Emily wiped the back of her hand across her face. Her mascara was smeared; her eyes were red and puffy. The gun in her hand was shaking. She took a deep breath as she heard the lock click and watched the doorknob as it turned.

"Emily, I'm—"

"Where is he, Ian?" She said with a steady voice, even though she was shaky as a leaf. She raised the gun in front of her. Flashes of memory kept flashing like strobe lights, blinding her judgment, even her vision.

Ian froze. He calmly shut the door behind him, and raised his hands in a surrendering gesture.

"Emily, what's wr—"

"WHERE IS MY SON?" She screamed, inching forward, gun still aimed right between his eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut as the flashes grew brighter, louder, in her head.

"He's gone, Love." Ian said, voice cracking almost undetectably.

"H-how could—H-how. COULD. YOU. You fucking bastard." She said looking at him through bloodshot eyes.

"I had no choi—" bam! His face turned as the cold metal of her SIG Sauer collided with his cheek. He took a calming breath. He did not react. She was so unstable she might just kill him. He needed to find a way to get the gun away from her without hurting her. Her injuries had just healed enough for her to hobble around the house.

"You fucking piece of shit, you KILLED MY SON! YOU MURDERED HIM!" She screamed. "HE'S GONE AND HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" She screeched, tears flowing.

"WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE, EH? I had to do everything ALONE. You weren't here!" Ian screamed back at her.

Caught off-guard she stumbled back a little, but kept the gun aimed at him.

"You selfish-bitch!" He yelled. "You don't know how it felt! YOU don't have to remember! Don't even try to judge me, you! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IVE BEEN THROUGH!" He screamed pointing at himself. She lowered the gun just a smidge as she hyperventilated.

"You think its hard for you, now? Now that you remember? I NEVER got the chance to forget! I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!" He screamed, his own tears starting to fall. "I had to go down this road alone!"

"I-I—" she started to whisper… she stumbled backwards on to the stairs as he advanced on her.

"You—You can't even imagine what it was like." He growled at her, tears of rage welling up in his eyes.

"Asgghhh" She cried clutching her head, the memories were loud, screaming blurs in front of her eyes. She could feel the gun pressed against her head, she kept yelling in pain, confusion, agony…guilt.

"Emily, listen to me." He said reaching out for her, "Emily…"

At his touch she shrieked, stumbling back up a couple stairs, wincing in pain. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" She screamed.

"Shhh… Emily, Emily… Love, I'm not gonna hurt you. I want to help you. I—you… you gotta understand, I—I only did what I thought was right. He was dying, Love. He—he was suffering. I wanted to wait…" He stopped, his voice breaking as he covered his eyes. "I wanted to wait until you—until you were here. With me," he said. "But, Love, I didn't know if you were comin' back this time." He said breaking down completely, resting a hand on her knee.

Emily, shaking, sobbing, looked at him. She could see the pain in his eyes, in his face. His body was wracked with guilt. She kept her hands still planted firmly by her head, gun still in hand. She shook her head.

"No. No…no. no… no" She moaned.

"Love, give me the gun." He said quietly, reaching out.

"NO! You—you don't understand! I—I didn't get to say… goodbye." She sobbed.

"Love, its alright, it wasn't your faul—"

"IAN! I YELLED AT HIM!" She screamed, now pointing the gun at her own head. "The—the last thing he heard from me, was-was how mad I was at him." She whispered, gun pressed against her temple. "I didn't get to say 'I loved him,'" she sobbed.

Sighing, Ian reached out for the gun, one more time. This time she shakily, let the gun fall into his hand, he popped the magazine out and threw the gun down the stairs; pulling her into his arms, as she finally fell apart. Sobbing, she let the memories come out, she remembered the meeting in DC. She remembered the warehouse, the airstrip in Maryland, Dubai, the babies.

"Love, shhh…. Calm down, be calm, it's okay. Everything's gonna be alright now..." He murmured, stroking her raven hair, holding her shaking, bruised body on the stairs.

They sat like that for hours, sobbing, holding each other. Despite the despair hanging in the stairway, it felt nice to feel her in his arms once again. While she cried herself to sleep, clutching him tightly, he let a few tears slide down his cheeks, dropping down onto her silky hair…

He could never tell her how truly sorry he was. He wondered if she would truly ever forgive him...

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? 'Cause I remember… everything. If I could help you forget, would you take my regret? 'Cause I remember…everything."