Thank you to everybody who reviewed. Your support is makes me so eager to update :)
Leah's mind was working furiously, as the realisation of what had just occurred washed over her. Jacob and her...what on Earth had she been thinking?
'That there is your problem,' she told herself. 'You weren't thinking.' She groaned inwardly, wanting desperately to get up and run away. But that would mean having to collect the trail of clothes that she had left behind. The thought of that was humiliating. She wanted to be gone as fast as possible, to avoid all eye contact and conversation. And because of that, she really only had one option.
Jacob didn't even have a chance to speak as Leah jumped up and sprinted away. Before she had even reached the tree line, he felt that familiar pulse through the air and watched as she phased mid-step. He understood why she had done it, and to be completely honest, he was thankful. What the hell were they supposed to say to each other after that? The kiss was one thing, but...he had never felt so confused in his life. Leah was a member of the pack- he was his Alpha. What would be the repercussions of this? He had nothing to go by. There were no other female wolves on record and so neither would stories of two wolves together. Well, unless there was some lost Brokeback history...
Jacob brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes. He and Leah had well and truly gotten themselves into one hell of a mess and the next time they saw each other...
Catching sight of his dress pants, Jacob groaned. The wedding. He would have to get back. Standing up, he noticed the torn remnants of his shirt. A stop home was going to be needed. he contemplated collecting Leah's things, but thought better of it. 'Leave it all behind,' he thought to himself. It would be easier that way.
XXXXX
The reception was in full swing when Jacob finally got back. Sam spotted him from across the way, and approached him immediately.
"What happened? Where is she?" Sam asked.
"She phased," Jacob replied truthfully. "I was going to follow, but figured she wanted to be alone."
"Damn her," Sam muttered.
Jacob's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Leah storming out like that. This was mine and Em's day and she had to make it about her. I get that I hurt her, but causing a scene during my wedding was way out of line."
Jacob felt an unexpected surge of protection for Leah. "I hardly think that it was a premeditated action, Sam."
Sam shrugged. "Maybe."
"Well, maybe you and Emily should have thought twice about asking her to be in the wedding party," Jacob snapped. "Did it ever occur to you how hard it would be for her? What were you two thinking?"
"She didn't have to say yes, Jake," Sam replied through gritted teeth. "That was her choice."
"She couldn't have said no, Sam. You know that more than anybody. Saying no, in her eyes, would have made her look weak."
Sam stared at him for several seconds. "Jake."
"Yeah?"
"Why are we arguing about this?"
Jacob paused. "I have no idea." And that that the truth. He truly had no idea why.
XXXXX
Leah walked into her bedroom, pulling the fluffy towel tight around her body. She did not know how long she had been running through the forest. All she knew was that she had not been able to run fast enough to leave everything behind. She was just grateful that Jacob had not phased after her. She couldn't stomach the idea of them sharing thoughts after...
After throwing on her worn, comfortable pyjamas, Leah climbed into bed. The sun was only just setting, but she was more than ready to have this day over. However, as she curled up into the foetal position, sleep did not come. Only tears. Furiously, Leah rubbed her eyes. She hated feeling like this. She hated that allowed herself to feel this way.
A loud bang, caused by her bedroom door flying open, made her jolt. "Leah Juliet Clearwater," her mother said, her tone clipped and stern. "What on Earth were you thinking today?"
Leah rolled over, meeting her mother's eyes. At the sight of her daughter's tear stained face, Sue's stance softened and she was by her side in a second. Having her mother cuddle her like a child only made Leah cry even harder. "I thought that I was strong enough, mum. I really thought that I could do it, but it was too much," she choked out.
"Shush," Sue soothed her, running her hand over Leah's still damp hair. "You are one of the strongest people I know. I don't want to hear you saying anything else."
"I'm not. It's all just a facade," Leah murmured, as her eyes fell on the photograph she kept framed on her bedside table. The last photo that had ever been taken of her and her father. "I'm not like you...or Dad."
Sue sighed. "You are more like your father than you'll ever know. He was the same- always second guessing himself."
"Yes, but Dad was never an emotionally out of control aggressive bitch."
"Well," Sue paused. "True, I wouldn't go that far. But he could be a moody one when he wanted to. And was lucky that he was never pushed to the point of, hmm," she cleared her throat, "an aggressive bitch, as you so delicately put it."
Leah allowed herself a small laugh. "I miss him so much, mum. It still hurts."
"I know sweetie," Sue pressed her lips on top of Leah's head. "I know."
XXXXX
The waves looked furious as they crashed wildly, foaming up the shoreline. Jacob stood, curling his toes in the sand as he stared at the black waves. His stomach was churning in a manner not unlike them. The message from Leah had been brief, asking him to meet her at the beach. He was relieved it was here. The beach was slightly more open than the clearing. The chances of a...relapse were slim.
"Jacob."
He turned to see Leah standing only a few feet behind him. "Hey."
"So," she took a few steps forward. "You got my message."
"I'm here, aren't I?" he replied, shrugging.
Leah was silent for a few moments before she suddenly kicked at the sand. "Fuck."
Jacob blinked. "What?"
"I said fuck...as in 'Fuck, I knew this was going to happen'," she blew a strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Knew what would happen?" Jacob asked, trying to hide a smile at her very Leah-like outburst.
"This...awkwardness," she said, throwing up her hands. "We are so screwed. Can you even imagine what it is going to be like next time we phase? Oh god...when Seth phases?"
Jacob shifted his feet, relieved that Leah was on the same page as he. "So, what are we going to do?"
Leah looked up into his eyes. "I think the only thing we can do is forget it ever happened," she said. "And I think we need to stay away from that clearing because...because..."
"Because what?" Jacob prompted.
"Because as much as I hate to admit it, you kind of keep me sane. The idea that somebody else is as fucked up as me—"
"Whoa," Jacob put a hand up. "How about we stop this conversation now. I suggest we keep conversations away from topics which lead to emotional outbursts, if we are going to forget and move on," he added, with a grin.
Leah laughed. "Good idea..." she trailed off, as her smile faded. "Things are still going to be really weird, aren't they? We can say that we want to forget, but easier said than done, hey?"
Jacob nodded. "But it's not going to happen again...other things will eventually fill our minds."
Leah's stomach clenched. He was right. It would fade and then once again she would be consumed completely with what had led her to that moment of desperation in the first place. What happened with Jacob was an ideal distraction at the moment and part of her was clutching frantically to that.
The idea of being overcome by that void once more scared her to death and she would do anything to ensure that she wouldn't.
