Okay *yawn* here's the next chapter… I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY PLUSHIE DOLL TO COME! Lol how old am I….? I luv acting like a little kid sometimes. And it's okay if it has to do with toshiro
This chapter should be interesting… I hope… I have been planning for quite a while so… it should b good…
Momo exchanged glances between the Head Captain and her close friend, her heart pounding with worry. She had heard that Toshiro could be executed, and the very high possibility of that scared her. As she clutched her friend's hand shakily, he slowly pulled one arm behind him, pushing it into the soft bed as he sat up cautiously. He closed his eyes as he did so, but Hinamori caught the small wince of pain which momentarily tightened his eyes, but the boy covered it up quickly.
When he settled, Toshiro opened his eyes again, and he found hers instantly. The bright teal contrasted sharply to the area around him, everything having been the customary white. Still, Hinamori found his crystal-like eyes stunning. Seeing the worry in her face, his expression was soft, and his gaze comforted her.
"I would like to discuss with Hitsugaya in private."
The Head Captain's voice thundered. Worried, Momo couldn't find herself able to move a muscle, unwilling to leave her friend's side. It wasn't until Toshiro had to give her a small nod that she finally stood, releasing her clutch on his hand. Ukitake, who had been standing by the door along with Unohana, put a hand on her shoulder as they left, and she cast a final troubled glance in Toshiro's direction, before she and the others disappeared behind the closing door.
Toshiro's gaze fell to the white sheets that covered his torso. In his position, the boy felt no right to look at the Head Captain in the eyes, and as he focused on the sheets, he did all he could to block away his body's protests, and the aches and pains that barraged his mind.
Across the room, Yamamotto's heavy eyes opened slightly, examining the small boy, lingering on the great many bandages, and studying the expression of shame on the boy's face, though it was hard to detect, buried under several layers impassive features. It wasn't long ago at all the boy had entered his line of captains, and Yamamotto had viewed him carefully at the time. Hitsugaya's extensive abilities could not be seen without becoming impressed. The Head Captain had seen the boy's skills, and if anything, had enjoyed the promise and talent the boy brought, and the soul reaper had once held strong expectations for the future of him.
But now, those expectations were lost. Even if he desired to, Hitsugaya would forever be unable to carry them out. With all the blood that stained the boy's hands, all the deaths he had caused, and all the destruction wrought by his decisions, he could no longer hold a position as captain. Now, the future of the boy was left to punishment, punishment most likely being death.
"Hitsugaya, your case is by no means a normal one, and dealing with it is no easy task."
While the boy offered no response, his eyes darkened with understanding.
Yamamotto continued despite the silence, "The proper penalty for murder is execution, and you have killed a great many.
"Normally, though, if a culprit had been forced into the actions he took, forgiveness is not impossible."
Toshiro's eyes narrowed as the leader spoke, still focused on the silky white sheets.
"However," the Head Captain carried on, "With the number of Rukongai souls who have lost those they love, even if we try to express your situation to them, it is incredibly doubtful they will understand, or even care enough to listen. What they desire is to have you punished, and execution may be the only way to satisfy that. There's a strong possibility that if they learn that you went unpunished, they would revolt, and cause us even more problems."
The boy nodded slowly, already having understood everything the Head Captain just explained. His situation was not a desirable one, and Toshiro's mind fumbled around with his will to live, unsure of himself.
"The captains are nearing a decision on the matter, Hitsugaya, but I also want to know what you feel on this dilemma."
Toshiro sensed the test in the Head Captain's question immediately. The culprit's opinion in the matter was usually of no importance, but the boy knew that while there was an extremely high chance of his execution, the possibility of the Seireitei delivering a different penalty was still present, and the Head Captain was merely looking for an insight on the boy's opinion of himself, to see whether or not he could be trusted with his own life.
Nevertheless, the boy found the words on his lips being perfectly honest. He didn't stop to think about how his answer would effect his fate, mostly out of a sudden lack of caring.
"The actions I took, and the deaths I caused were not forced upon me." Toshiro began carefully, his voice taking a moment to come to its normal level out of lack of use. "I had a very clear choice: the lives of so many innocent people, or the life of the person I consider precious. The decision I made was selfish, and as such, unforgivable under any circumstances."
Toshiro studied the fabric in his fingers absent mindedly, a different kind of pain rising in his chest as the words he would not speak to anyone close to him flowed.
"As to the value of my life, it doesn't sum up to much. I…" The boy paused as the next sentence came with difficulty. "I don't wish to die… as long as I'm alive I can continue to protect the people I care for… but…"
Even as his face remained empty and struggling to be emotionless, Toshiro hated the sound of those words, he felt like he was begging for something, and his overwhelming emotions struck at his ever-present barrier, once again threatening to overtake it.
"But if I were to be executed out of the justice of the Soul Society, I don't think I could complain. If my death would become the only atonement for what I've done, I don't think I could resist. If that's what it takes to put the minds of the people who've lost loved ones at ease, I can't help but accept it."
As the boy finished, the Head Captain studied the words that came forth.
Does he really think of himself as selfish? Does he realize that he's saying he wants to be executed?
Yes.. He does. Yamamotto decided. The boy fully knew of what his words meant, and, if anything, didn't put nearly as much emphasis on his desire to be executed as he held within himself.
"Very well then, Hitsugaya." The Head Captain said, without anything else to add to the discussion. "I will consider what you have said."
Toshiro was utterly silent as he still averted his eyes from the leader, now glaring into the bare white cloth below him. Emotion buzzed in his chest so violently the boy felt like he was getting sick, and his head ran with nausea as Yamamotto left the room.
Refusing to let himself pass out again, he clutched the sheet tightly and steadied himself. As he lost track of time, he felt another hand gingerly touch his, and he glanced over to see Momo, still as worried about him as ever.
The boy calmed down, and looked past the girl's shoulder to the others who had entered the room.
"Oi, Toshiro, how're you doing?" Ichigo waved from the across the area, and Renji stepped in beside him.
Toshiro turned his gaze from them just in time to see two huge valleys heading towards his face.
"YOU'RE FINALLY AWAAAAKE!"
Even though he was exhausted, Toshiro's eyes went wide, and he immediately leaned away, having much practice in this situation. Rangiku, falling forward as she missed the small body she had intended to wrap her arms around, flailed her arms, looking for some support.
The hand found Toshiro's shoulder, and instinctively planted itself there as the rest of her body fell to the weight of her breasts, landing face first into the white sheets on the other side of the boy.
The unexpected weight caught Toshiro off guard, and pain shot from the point where Rangiku pressured. The boy's eyes tightened together in pain, and the boy gasped for breath unsteadily.
"Ran-Rangiku!" Momo yelled, immediately noticing the pain in Toshiro's expression. "Rangiku, get off of him!"
Ichigo and Renji both gave start, and the redhead ran forward and pulled the flustered woman to her feet by the back of her robe.
"What? What did I-" Rangiku stopped as she caught sight of Toshiro, who was clutching his shoulder as he struggled to contain himself.
"Capt- Captain… I'm so sorry…" Her expression turned into that of utter shame. "I didn't…"
Toshiro breathed heavily, taking in large amounts of air to calm himself down, the pain still erupting in his shoulder.
"It's okay…" He spoke softly, his breath slowing back to a normal pace.
Momo had leaned forward and was now halfway on the boy's bed, staring at him worriedly. "You should lay down, Lil' Shiro, you don't look very good…"
Toshiro didn't object as he usually would've, and only leaned back as his friend suggested, letting the softness of the pillows rest his head from it's pounding in pain.
"So, Toshiro," Ichigo stepped forward, trying to start pleasant conversation, hoping to distract Rangiku from she had done. "What did the Head Captain want to know?"
At the question they held in their hearts having been spoken, everyone in the room turned their heads to the small boy, who looked slightly apprehensive at the sudden question.
"He… uhh…" Toshiro stumbled over the words, looking more and more apprehensive.
"It's… it's nothing…" The boy said with an awkward finality. He wasn't going to tell them what he had told the Head Captain, they would probably yell at him for hours, and it would most likely break Momo's heart.
Across the room, it was obvious that nobody bought the boy's explanation, but they chose to drop the subject. Nobody wanted to push the boy further into misery.
A few minutes later, Ichigo and Renji had gotten into some kind of heated argument, and eventually Rangiku joined them. Toshiro didn't have the energy to care. He stared aimlessly at the wall beside his bed, wishing for a bigger window.
As Toshiro gazed at the empty wall, Momo had once more taken hold of his hand, and she held it tightly, staring at his bandaged body with a rueful expression.
The boy caught the look of sorrow in her eyes, and squeezed her hand reassuringly. He hated to see her worry.
BLEHHHH it's sounding too hitsuhina I HATE IT! It's not okay! NEVERRRR!
Fear not, I never forgot Gin for one second, and he will show up next chapter..
I have to finish this story by July 15th and I WILL! And then there should be about a month or so in between the end and the sequel. The timing works out perfectly cuz on July 15th I'll be going to California until August 12th, so that'll have to be your waiting period… oh well.
I must take my dogs for a walk now, so plz review me! Make my day WONDERFUL!
