Coming Out of the Broom Closet (Chapter Three)
I looked up from my spot on the floor. Harry, who was sitting next to me by this point, tried to calm me down. Professor McGonagall was smiling.
I knew that she knew by this point. I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. I turned on Harry. "How could you? You PROMISED not to show her. I mean… ANYONE!" I began to rock back and forth and I put my head to my knees.
"I didn't mean to!" claimed Harry. He tried to soothe me by petting my head and pushing down my massive curls the way both he and Ron always do.
"No!" I screeched at him. I scooted away. Only, I was watching Harry so much and shooting him darting glances full of contempt, I scooted right into McGonagall where she stood, holding the list proving that it was her I was madly in love with. I leaned my head all the way back and glanced up at her. Once I had bumped into her, she looked down at me.
She was still smiling. "Hermione?" she said.
I flinched, fearing what she was going to say. "Yes Professor McGonagall?"
"You're on my foot." she said.
I quickly moved. I could tell by the way she was smiling at me that she knew. She knew everything. I began rocking back and forth again. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness." I began muttering. "I want to go home." I half sobbed into my knees.
"Why?" she asked me. She smiled knowingly. She walked to her chair and sat down. Then she stared at me.
"Why?" I repeated. My jaw was wide open and I stared back at her. "Why?"
"Yes. That is what I asked you. Neither Harry nor myself understand your sudden mood change. Why is it that you want to go home?"
"Why?" I repeated again. I put my forehead on the floor. It was still winter so the castle's floors were quite cool. I tried to concentrate on the feeling of coolness radiating from the floor. I sighed. "Because, "I began as calmly as possible, "you know who I like meaning that the person I like will soon know."
Harry shook his head. "You can trust Professor McGonagall." He told me. "If that's all you're upset about, you can calm down. Your secret is totally safe." I glared at him so he stopped his speech of her qualities.
"He is absolutely right!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed. My head shot up. I had hope in my heart again. If she is vowing not to tell the person, she must not know it is her. Then, she wrecked my hope by turning her back to Harry and winking before saying "I won't tell your crush that you like him." I sank to the floor again.
Professor McGonagall rose from her chair and walked to the fireplace. She then took a handful of floo powder and threw it into the fire. The flames flashed to green as they licked the cobblestone entrance to the fireplace. "I'll just be a second. This is very important." She then proceeded to stick her head in the fire. "Xiomara! Xiomara darling!" She yelled. She then sighed when there was no response. "HOOCH!" She screeched.
There was a pause, where one would assume Madame Hooch finally answered. My head shot up as someone squealed. Seeing as Harry looked just as surprised, I concluded that it had been McGonagall. "You'll never guess! Do you recall the Hermione crush situation… You're kidding… You NEED a remembrall! … Yes, darling I will buy you one. … We are getting off track. Hermione's crush. Do you remember? … Well, we were right! …"
I shrank back to the floor. The 'important conversation' was about me. They were discussing how Hooch had known all along who I liked. How could Professor McGonagall do this to me. They were treating it like a game! I tried to get angry, to summon up every ounce of anything resembling anger or hatred… But I couldn't I just could not get angry at her.
"Okay, YOU were right. I need to go now, sweetie… Okay, I'll talk to you at dinner." She pulled her head from the fireplace and the flames returned to their normal color. She then calmly walked over to her desk and began reading something, intently.
At this point, I didn't care. I openly gaped. I mean, this was a wide-eyed, open-mouthed stare. Harry looked at me surprised and started laughing. He still didn't know who I liked, but he knew that Professor McGonagall knew. I turned and glared again. This normally makes him or Ron cower and stop whatever it is that they are dong that causes me to glare, not this time. Harry laughed harder.
"I'm sorry, Hermione, but you have to admit, if it's not you, it's really funny!" Harry laughed, "I do wish I knew who it was though!"
At that moment, McGonagall looked up again with a smile on her face. "Since we all know that I know, would you care to guess? I can give hints!" The color drained from my face.
I didn't know if she was kidding or not, but I was plenty scared. If it were a normal crush, it wouldn't have been a problem. This was different, though! I was certain that this wasn't just a puppy love thing. I knew this was real. Furthermore, it is the most amount of feelings I have ever felt for a woman, or anyone, really. Once Harry found out, it wouldn't just be like people knew who I liked. It would be far more serious. It would make it real. It wouldn't be something I was thinking about or something I had told in secret. It would be known and real. Plus, it would be like she had betrayed me. After all, I hadn't told anyone else that I was remotely interested in girls at this point.
"I would love to know!" Harry exclaimed. He got up and sat at a desk close to hers. I remained in my spot on the floor.
"Well," McGonagall began, before looking at me and seeing my horrified face, "You see this person every day. In class."
"NOOOOO!" I screeched. I finally stood up and moved between them in an effort to stop the hints and secrets. "Shut up! That's not fair! Shut UP!" I covered my ears and moved toward Harry. I was nearly halfway there before I sank to the floor again. "Shut UP! I HATE you!"
Professor McGonagall smiled, wickedly. "I don't think you do."
I turned and glared at her, making her laugh. Normally, I would be happy. I love her laugh and therefore, I love making her laugh. This time, though, I was on a short ledge, ready to jump. I didn't need her sick humor. "That is not fair. Your are HORRID! I HATE YOU! SHUT UP!"
She stood, unsmiling, and I began to feel bad about saying those awful things to her. Then she opened her mouth to talk. Before she said a word, though, she closed her mouth and smiled. I knew in an instant that an evil, torturing thought had entered her head. "Well, to make sure I know exactly who you like, let's play… Twenty Questions."
My eyes widened and I shrieked. "NOOOOOOO!"
"Is this person… Older than you?" She asked, laughing.
I got up and ran out of the room. From behind me, I heard her answer her own question. That word burned in my mind as I raced back to my dormitory, yet again, after an encounter with her.
It taunted me.
It haunted me.
She knew.
…
"YES!"
