Coming Out of the Broom Closet (Chapter Seven)
My senses slowly came back to me and my eyes flickered open. I hadn't dreamed the night before. After my nightmare several evenings before, I had started making a potion for a dreamless sleep. My mind was already at work.
People were beginning to come close to guessing my secret. "I'm done hiding any part of my personality," I told myself, "I want my friends to hear it from me. Not guess or be told by someone else."
"Best friends first," I thought. That meant Ron and then Harry and then I would continue through the list. "Wait, Ron's still mad at me." I sighed. I would have to tell him first anyway. He was my best friend, after all. Harry was a close second, of course, but I owed it to Ron. Knowledge of a secret kept that long plus the added knowledge that I hadn't told him first would cut deeply. I couldn't take telling McGonagall, though, so Ron would just have to settle with being told second.
"When to tell him?" I asked myself. "Well, I want to begin telling all of my friends this week, before I lose my nerve." An omission such as this weighed heavily and I hoped my friends wouldn't care.
I slid out of bed and hurried to the lavatories to wash up for the morning. I entered my room feeling very good about telling people. I was humming again, which was just proof.
"What are you doing?" I heard someone ask sleepily from the other side of the dorm.
"It's only five in the morning!" I heard another voice say.
"Sorry, girls. I'm just… Really happy this morning,"
"Well, be quiet about it. Some people want to sleep in on Saturdays!"
"Okay, Lavendar!" I said, cheerfully as I left the room.
I walked down to the common room to wait for the first sign of Ron.
Since it had been a full two hours before anyone else even set foot on either of the staircases, I was thankful I had thought to bring a book.
"Hermione?" I heard a sleepy voice ask, causing me to look. "You know it's only seven in the morning, right?" Harry asked me, yawning. Harry was still in his pajamas and I wondered why he had been coming to the common room.
"Don't be silly, Harry. Of course I know," I told him. I was suddenly struck with an idea. "Harry, can you get Ron down here? I have to talk to him about something important and if I ask him to come down, he'll refuse."
Harry yawned again and turned to begin ascending the stairs to retrieve Ron.
"What are you doing?" I flinched as I heard Ron yell.
It occurred to me that Harry was clearly too much asleep to be thinking as I saw him dragging Ron down the stairs by his pajama sleeves. I stood up in shock. "Here's Ron," Harry said, pushing Ron into me as nonchalantly as if he had just handed me a piece of gum.
"Thanks, Harry."
Harry nodded and then walked to the fireplace to pick up a picture album.
"Harry must have dreamed about his parents again! " I realized. He always looked at his photo album the moment he woke up when he had those dreams. That's why he was awake so early and not alert.
Ron stood next to me with his arms crossed and glared at me. "What? Make it quick."
"Right. Well, you're my best friend. So, if I'm going to tell people, I'm going to tell you first," I began.
"What?" Ron asked impatiently. I immediately began to lose my nerve.
I gulped in air. "Brace yourself, Ronald… I'm a lesbian. I know that you're not talking to me, but I knew that I had to tell you before I told anyone else."
"… So?" Ron said, uncaringly.
I stared back at him. "Do you promise not to tell anyone, at the very least?" I asked. I had hoped he would show enough emotion to prove he was still my friend, even if he was angry.
"Whatever."
"Ron? Promise me," I demanded.
"Fine. I promise. Can I go back to bed now?" Ron asked me, staring.
My eyes widened and I felt my jaw drop. I snapped my jaw close. "Yes. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."
Ron rolled his eyes and stomped back up the stairs.
I plopped back into the armchair by the fire, ready to cry. It wasn't that I had expected Ron to forgive me just because I came out, but I had wanted him to show more than his customary emotion capacity of a teaspoon.
It was another hour before I had composed myself enough to go down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
I sat down in my usual set and had several pieces of toast while trying to decide who to tell next. "I'll tell Harry," I thought.
I scanned the room to see if Harry had come down yet. Instead, I saw McGonagall exiting the Great Hall.
I got followed her out of the hall.
"Professor!" I hollered when I had exited the confines of the Great Hall. She turned around.
"Oh," she raised a hand to clutch her heart. "I thought something was wrong for a moment, you called with such urgency."
I looked down to the floor. I heard McGonagall sigh.
"Something is wrong, then?"
I nodded.
"Alright, I have time. We can talk in my office."
I followed her up the main staircase, down a corridor, and into her office.
"Sit," she prompted.
"Do you remember how Ron was angry with me, Professor?" I asked. She nodded. "Well, this morning I woke up with the resolve to tell my friends about my little 'secret' so I knew I had to tell him first since he is my best friend. So I told him. And then he walked off still angry with me. Now I'm a little conflicted as to telling anyone else."
"You told Ron while he was angry with you? Was that really wise?" McGonagall asked me, skeptically.
"Ronald's my best friend. I would trust him with my life. Even he's angry, he wouldn't ever betray me!"
"Okay, then. What's the problem?" McGonagall asked me.
"I don't know if I want to tell anyone else now. I'm nervous. Ron's reaction wasn't favorable, but he wasn't happy with me. So, I don't know if I'm just using this as an excuse.
"Hermione, I really don't know what you want me to say. I can't force you to come out if you're not ready."
I breathed in deeply and nodded. "I think I am ready."
Harry walked in.
"Harry!" McGonagall exclaimed. "What a great time for you to have entered! Hermione's just decided to tell you something, but, let's have some fun with it first. Care to keep guessing who Hermione's crush is?"
I blushed and shook my head instinctively.
Harry looked at me and shrugged. "Sure."
I shook my head. "Here's a hint. You've seen this person within the last twenty-four hours."
Harry appeared to be thinking hard, then he gasped and I thought for a second that he really knew. "Oh my! It isn't Draco, is it? Tell me it's not!"
I laughed.
"That is so far from correct!" McGonagall laughed.
"Harry, come here." I pulled Harry just outside of McGonagall's office. "The person I like… Is a girl. I'm a lesbian."
"Oh. Okay! Wait… Is it… Lavendar?" Harry guessed.
I shook my head. "It's… Professor McGonagall."
"Oh… OOOOHHH!" Harry's eyes widened and he screamed in surprise.
