A/N: Ok, so I did plan to have this up a few days eariler, but real life got in the way. The usual with work etc, but I also got a little distracted by the new Regina Spektor album. It is amazing by the way, and I recommend it to you all.
So, thank you to all those who have been reading this fic and to those who continue to add this story to their favourites etc. And once again my grossly inadequete thank you to all those who took the time to review this fic. We broke 100 reviews with the last chapter, which was a real little 'Woohoo" moment for me. This achievement may seem small compared to some other fics, but I love my little base of followers. You are a small but loyal bunch, and I love every single one of you. This fic is, of course, for you. After all, who else would I be writing it for? :)
Anyway, look at this, I have managed to control myself with this note. I wonder why? I guess I am eager for you read the events of this chapter...
Let me know what you think.
Music: Lullaby- Sia, Cologne- Ben Folds, Wait- Get Set Go, [explain]-Sarah Blasko
Sue's expression had fallen slightly. "Leah, what are you saying?"
"I am saying that I need to get away from here. If I am going to get some perspective, then I need to leave." Leah paused, her eyes meeting her mother's. Sue's face looked absolutely stricken. "Mum?"
"Where...where are you going to go?" Sue asked. "And for how long? How long will it be before I get to see you again? I mean, I am not going to stop you, but this is coming as a bit of a surprise."
Leah stared at her mother, as she ran over her own words in her head. "Mum, I am not going to run away to the other side of the world. When I said leave...I meant leaving the reservation, going to stay in town for a bit."
Sue's jaw dropped slightly as she let out a relieved sigh. "Well, would you care to rephrase slightly in the future. You had me thinking of a huge prolonged absence!"
Leah could not help but let out a sheepish giggle. "Sorry mum...I guess I can't help but to cause dramas, hey?"
"That does seem to be a trait of yours," Sue replied. "So, where do you plan on staying?"
"I've spoken to Seth. I am going to stay with him for a few days."
Sue cocked her head to the side, confused. "Stay with Seth? At the Cullen's?" She reached across, placing a hand across Leah's forehead. "Ok- who are you are and what have you done with my daughter?"
Leah swatted her hand away. "Your comedy styling's have my sides splitting, mum. It's just convenient, that's all. Seth said that most of them would be out on a hunting trip anyway. It'll only be Bella, Edward and the spawn."
"Don't call Nessie that....You're really serious about this?"
Leah nodded. "It's quiet, out of the way, but still nearby if I need to get back here for any reason. I miss Seth- it'll be good to spend some time with him. And as for Bella and Edward, well they're so wrapped in the rainbows and sunshine that is their life now, that I will barely register on their radar. It's actually kind of perfect....as long as I can live with the stench."
Sue shrugged, a smile forming on her face. "Well, it sounds as if you have everything figured out. When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow morning," Leah said and then paused, chewing her bottom lip.
"Ok," Sue said, placing a hand on her hip. "I know that look. What do you want?"
"Can I borrow the car?"
XXXXX
Jacob walked along the side of the road, kicking up gravel with every step. He had woken up that morning, still feeling furious. When he couldn't find the remote to the television, he had decided to take it out on the living room wall- with his foot this time. Billy had told him to leave and return to the house only when he was ready to act like a respectful human being.
It made Jacob feel rotten to the core to see the expression on Billy's face, but for some reason that was not enough to stop him from lashing out at every tiny thing. Because the fury festering inside of him was the much better option.
Hearing voices up ahead, he raised his head. When he saw the direction his aimless meandering had taken him he had to laugh. Leah was walking down her driveway, Sue by her side. She reached the car which was parked on the side of the street and it was only then that Jacob saw the large bag in her hand.
He watched as Leah open the boot and threw the bag in. She then turned towards Sue, wrapping her mother in a tight hug.
"You take care," he heard Sue say. "You can call whenever you want- night or day. You know that, right?"
Even though her face was partially obscured, Jacob could tell that Leah was rolling her eyes. "Jeez mum, why don't you just come out and ask for the half hourly updates you know you really want?"
"Ok then, cheeky. Don't forget, that's my car you're going to be driving off in."
Leah leaned up, placing a kiss on her Sue's cheek. "I love you, mum."
"I love you, too," Sue patted her softly on her arm. "You should get going."
With a nod, Leah walked around to other side of the car. As she grasped he handle on the driver's side door, she glanced up, her eyes meeting Jacob.
He just stared at her, willing her to come over. Wanting her to explain. Wanting her to tell him that she was simply taking a bag full of clothes to the dry cleaners. Wanting her to tell him that she wasn't leaving...because of him.
But she didn't. Without a smile, without a wave, she opened the door and climbed into the car. And then, with a roar of the engine and a spray of gravel and dust, she was gone.
Leah was gone. She had left, without even a word of good bye. She had well and truly let go of any possibility of the two of them. She was gone.
Jacob turned abruptly on his heel, walking back in the direction of his house. He was not yet ready to meet Billy's terms, but his father's demands had only been limited to the house. Jacob needed a place to think. One of his escapes had now been tainted by her, but there was somewhere else he could go.
It did not take Jacob long to get home, and he headed straight to his garage. It had been a long time since he had been in there, before Bella and Edward's wedding in fact. Too damn long. He walked in, inhaling the familiar scent of grease and fuel. He looked at his trust Rabbit and his hands itched. He needed to work something. He needed to fix something. He needed something to keep his occupied. Without a second thought, he grabbed his tools and lifted the bonnet. If he pulled the engine apart, going through every mechanism, he would surely find something he could fix. And if he didn't, well the project would be enough to keep him occupied for a long time to come.
Something to keep him distracted so that he would not have to think about Leah...
Exhaling loudly, Jacob slumped against the side of the car. He needed to stop this. He needed to take control...he had to start to let go.
Leah had obviously let the two of them go, and now he needed to so the same thing. She was obviously moving on and he could do the same thing, right?
He had to...after all, the decision had already been made for him, right?
XXXXX
"Here you go."
Leah took the steaming mug from Seth, as he sat next to her on the steps of the front porch. "Thanks," she took a sip, wincing as the hot liquid hit her tongue. "Ouch."
Seth chuckled. "Well, you're the one who insists on no milk."
"Wow, it is no nice to get so much sympathy from a loved one," Leah retorted, reaching out and shoving him slightly.
"Yeah, well I reckon you might get a little more if you actually spoke to your loved ones," Seth said.
"I was only asking for my poor tongue, nothing else, Seth," Leah replied, lightly as she placed the mug down on a lower step to cool down.
Seth raised an eyebrow. "Leah, you said absolutely nothing yesterday and last night. Are you really not going to tell me why you're here?"
"I told you why- I felt like a break."
"A break from what? It must be something pretty desperate for you to come back here. You hated being here last time. Will you please talk to me?"
Leah looked at him, a warm smile on her face. "Seth, I don't need to talk. I really don't. I am doing fine- and I know that you know that, because mum would have called you as soon as I left to get your side of things."
Seth's expression was a picture of innocence. "I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Oh please, Seth. The two of you gossip like old women! How oblivious do you think I am? I am very well aware that I am a favourite topic between the two of you."
Seth coughed. "We talk because we care."
Leah let out a snort of laughter. "Is that your official motto?"
"Yeah," Seth grinned. "We are in the process of getting it copyrighted and—" he cut off as the front door opened behind them. They turned to see Bella standing there.
"Uh, Seth, Nessie is asking for you," she said.
"Right," Seth jumped up immediately and Leah could not help but make whipping motions with her hand, along with some sound effects. Seth responded by laughing and flipping her the bird, before running into the house.
Leah turned back around, ready to enjoy some time alone, outside. Seth had been a little too watchful since her arrival at the house yesterday. But then, Leah realised that she had thought too soon. Bella did not return to the house as she had expected, but instead sat down on the stairs as well.
Leah stared at her incredulously. As an unspoken agreement between the two of them, they spent as little amount of time in each other's presence. Only unavoidable group circumstances- never, never, never just the two of them.
"What are you doing?" Leah blurted out.
Bella looked over, her expression telling Leah that she was just as happy about this situation as her. "Do you want to talk?" She spoke as if someone else were forcing the words out.
Leah laughed loudly. "You want to talk to me? What sort of freaking bizarro world have I arrived in?"
"No," Bella denied vehemently. "I do not want to talk to you."
"Then what the hell are you doing out here?" Leah demanded.
Bella exhaled loudly. "Edward has been pestering me ever since you have arrived, telling me that I should talk to you."
Leah's eyes narrowed, as understanding dawned on her. She had been working hard to keep Jacob out of her mind since arriving her, but that doesn't mean that she hadn't slipped. And if Jacob had seen him any time recently. "What the fuck did he tell you?"
Bella blinked. "He hasn't told me anything. I know that he knows something about you, but he refuses to tell. But he seems to think that I might have some sort of understanding...can't think what, though," she added, under her breath.
"So he told you nothing?"
"Nope," Bella sighed, and then looked at Leah out of the corner of her eye. "But I'm assuming that it's Sam related."
"Oh really. A little bit presumptuous, don't you think?"
Bella shrugged. "Not really. It's been affecting you for so long, it would be really hard to let that go."
"So darling Eddie really told you nothing," Leah spat, knowing that Bella had been baiting her to spill her guts. But she really did not care. "He really said nothing about the fact that Jacob and I have been fucking each other since Sam and Emily's wedding?"
Bella's eyes widened considerably. "What?"
"Yup. Do you remember that day at the beach, when I went out into the water to help him, after your sunshine and roses routine? Had his cock in my hand the entire time."
Bella stared at Leah, her jaw dropped slightly. She did this for several long moments before bursting into a loud, raucous laughter. "Oh my god," she managed to gasp out.
"So glad that you find me so hilarious," Leah said dryly.
"No," Bella shook her head, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes. "I just...it's just...I really wasn't expecting to hear that when I came out here. Jeez, Leah, never knew that you were such an open person." With that, she dropped her head into her hands, breaking into another round of laughter.
Leah watched Bella's body convulsing and, thinking back to what she had said, soon found herself joining in. The laughing felt good. It had been a long time since she had felt that joyful ache in the pit of her stomach.
"So...so..." Bella let out breathlessly, slowly beginning to gain control of herself. "Is that how you broke the news to Sue?"
Leah shook her head. "Nobody knows."
"Oh..." Bella sighed, running a hand through her hair. "You and Jacob...you and Jacob," she muttered, almost to herself. "You and Jacob....Jacob and you..."
"What?" Leah was suddenly defensive. "Is it really that hard to believe?"
"Well, yeah," Bella replied and Leah let out another snort of laughter. She did have a point. "But," Bella continued, "thinking about it, the two of you are kind of perfect...in a weird—" she glanced at Leah— "freaking bizarro world kind of way."
Leah stiffened, the after effects of the laughter evaporating from her body. "Yeah, well, us being perfect is completely irrelevant."
The smile on Bella's face slowly dropped. "That's why you're here," she said, softly. "Because of Jacob?"
Leah nodded. "Bingo."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Surprisingly, Leah felt that she did. She had never been able to talk about Jacob to anybody. As much as she and Bella did not get along, she was all that was on offer at the moment, and so Leah told her everything. From Sam and Emily's wedding to Jacob opening up and her breaking everything off.
"And so, I just needed some time away from the reservation, hence, me being here."
"Hang on a second," Bella held up a hand, her expression slightly confused. "Why did you break it off- you said that there was no way it could work between the two of you. What does that even mean? If you truly believed that, you wouldn't need to be here."
"Regardless of how we feel, it never would work."
"But how can you say that without giving it a go?"
Leah sighed. "Imprinting."
Understanding dawned on Bella's face. "You don't want it to end up like it did with Sam," she said.
Leah nodded. "The possibility of being hurt- it was too much of a risk."
Bella was silent as she contemplated her thoughts. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead."
"Do you regret the time you spent with Sam?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know that you got burned at the end, but do you regret everything that happened before that? If you could go back, would you change your path with Sam entirely?"
Leah tucked her knees up under her chin. "I've never thought about it like that. To me, the end defined everything. That is kind of what I have been focusing on."
"The reason I ask is...well, I am not claiming to have a complete understanding of what you have been through, but I did feel it somewhat when Edward left."
Leah raised her eyebrows in surprise, but did not say anything. She had completely forgotten about that. Her mind flashed to the images that Sam had shared with them, one of Bella curled up on the forest floor.
"Now, when that happened I completely lost it," Bella was saying. "It was ridiculous what I did to myself...but after some time I got to a point where, even though I had allowed myself to hurt so much, I could appreciate the time that we had had together. To me, it was better to have had and lost, than to never have had it to begin with."
"But you got him in the end, Bella. Imprinting means that I lose him forever. No chance whatsoever."
"I understand that. But at that point, I truly believed that I had lost Edward too and even though I was hurting, I would not have given up our time together for anything. The simple fact is, life means risks, Leah. You can take measures to protect yourself from everything, but in the long run, that is not a life that anybody should live. If you don't take risks, then all you will be doing is looking back on regrets. You need to take this risk or you will lose him from your life entirely."
Leah looked across at her. "Why are you doing this for me? Why do you even care?"
A sad smile crossed Bella's face. "Jacob's my friend. I may not be a part of his life at the moment, but I will always want to see him happy. And I think you can do that."
"And what about me? What about my happiness?" Leah asked.
Bella shrugged. "You'll never know unless you make that leap."
XXXXX
"Fuck!" Jacob let out as the wrench slipped, causing him jerk forward, cutting his thumb on an engine part. He ripped his hand out, shoving his thumb in his mouth and sucking. It was the third time he had done that, today alone and he was more than ready for a snap. "Fucking fucker fuck!" he yelled, kicking out at the tyre.
"Jacob."
He whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice, convinced that he had progressed to hallucinations. But no, Leah really was standing in the entry to the garage.
"I thought you left," he said, his tone blank.
"I just went to stay with Seth for a few days," she replied, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.
"Oh."
She cleared her throat. "Can we talk?"
Jacob snorted. "Look Leah, you have done enough talking for the both of us lately. I really don't want to hear what you have to say anymore. Just go away." He turned back to the engine of the Rabbit.
"I was wrong."
He glanced over his shoulder. "What?"
Leah took a hesitant step forward. "I was wrong. It was a mistake to walk away."
"Leah," Jacob closed his eyes. "I can't play your games anymore."
"I am not playing. My reasoning was that I didn't want to get hurt...well, I'm hurting now so there goes my fucking logic."
Jacob turned slowly, trying to process her words. "Leah, what the fuck are you saying?"
She took another step forward. "I am saying that I don't want to look back and have regrets. I want to look back and remember whatever we might have."
"Have? Not had?" Jacob questioned and Leah gave him a short nod. "What do you want from me?"
Leah drew in a deep breath, preparing to lay it all on the table. "I want you to forgive me for running and say that you are willing to give us a chance."
Jacob stood, his dark brown eyes boring into her and Leah felt a fist of fear seize her stomach. What if she had left this too late? What if she had well and truly ruined everything between the two of them?
But then his eyes softened, and he raised his arms in an offer. With relief washing over her, Leah closed the distance between them, pressing herself into his chest and allowing herself to be enveloped by his safe and warm embrace.
She was very well aware that this may one of the craziest decisions she would ever make, but she did not care.
It was a risk they both had to take.
