A/N: Wow, the response I got for the last chapter was the best yet. I guess that is what happens when I stop torturing my characters, and give them a little bit of relief. I have to say, though, that I found this chapter really difficult to write (hence the slight dely). I guess I just find it so much easier to write the angst...which I have to wonder what that says about me as a person :)
As usual, I want to thank everyone who has been reading this story, adding it to their favs etc. But, of course, nothing tops those wonderful, incredible, fantastic people who take the time to review and let me know what they are thinking. It may seem small, but you truly are amazing. I cannot thank you enough for the support you have been giving to me.
On the note of reviews, a question was raised about whether the previous chapter was the final one. I did think when I wrote it that it had a tone of finality about it and so I want to let you all know that there is still a lot of story to tell. At this stage I have planned up to 26 chapters, and there will still be several more after that (the numbers keep changing as I keep tweaking with content- I know how this story will play out until the end- its the little things that keep getting altered). So, keep with me and I hope that you enjoy the ride.
Music: Razor- Foo Fighters, Fall For You- The Whitlams, Out and In- Kate Miller-Heidke.
"Have? Not had?" Jacob questioned and Leah gave him a short nod. "What do you want from me?"
Leah drew in a deep breath, preparing to lay it all on the table. "I want you to forgive me for running and say that you are willing to give us a chance."
Jacob stood, his dark brown eyes boring into her and Leah felt a fist of fear seize her stomach. What if she had left this too late? What if she had well and truly ruined everything between the two of them?
But then his eyes softened, and he raised his arms in an offer. With relief washing over her, Leah closed the distance between them, pressing herself into his chest and allowing herself to be enveloped by his safe and warm embrace.
She was very well aware that this may one of the craziest decisions she would ever make, but she did not care.
It was a risk they both had to take.
Leah closed her eyes as she pressed herself closer to Jacob's chest. She inhaled deeply as she felt his lips on the top of her head. "Jake," she murmured quietly.
He brushed his lips across her ear. "What?"
"I'm...I'm not going to run any more, but...I'm scared."
Jacob kissed the top of her head once more, before pulling her down to sit on the floor beside him. Wrapping an arm around her, he leaned the two of them back against the front wheel of the Rabbit. "Tell me everything. Why did you leave?"
"I just needed to figure things out. I thought it was all about me, about who I wanted to be. Somebody got me to see otherwise."
Jacob chuckled. "So the younger brother proves himself to be wiser than his older sibling."
Leah could not help but smile. "Nope. Seth had nothing to do with this."
Jacob looked down at her, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "Did Edward do the whole mind reading thing?"
"Sort of. But no, it wasn't him," Leah replied, thoroughly enjoying the look of confusion on his face.
"Then who...oh god. Please do not tell me that it was the blonde. Because then I will only see this as part of some evil plan on her behalf. What does she want? What have the two of you planned? I won't fall for it—"
"Jake!" Leah cut him off, placing her hand on his chest. "It was Bella."
Jacob stared at her blankly. "Ha ha. Very funny."
"No, I'm serious. I told her everything and she actually helped. Made me see that living for the present was a hell of a lot better than living for the what if."
Jacob's jaw had dropped slightly. "Shut the fuck up." He shifted slightly. "So what...are you two like, friends now?"
"Oh hell no," Leah laughed. "I don't think that I will ever be able to make that much progress- ever. How about we just call this an uneasy truce?"
"Oh thank god," Jacob sighed with relief. "That would have just been too much to take. Scary even...Stepford wife scary."
"Jacob."
He looked her in the eyes. "What?"
"Shut up," she murmured, fisting his t-shirt and pulling his lips down to hers. Jacob did not argue with her demand and responded eagerly, running his tongue along her bottom lip before pushing into her mouth. Leah groaned as she curled her tongue around his and shifted herself so that she could press herself closer to him. She had missed Jacob's touch, but this was different. For the first time she was truly letting herself go and opening herself up to him.
She snaked an arm around the back of his neck as the kiss grew deeper. She felt Jacob run his hands down her back, and then up underneath her top.
When air became necessary, Jacob pulled back, keeping his lips resting against hers. "Leah," he whispered, his breath tickling her.
"Hmm?"
"I think we should go inside."
Leah cocked her head. "But what about your dad?"
"He's at Charlie Swan's. There is a game on tonight. That means beer and Billy crashing on his couch."
"You mean to say that there is a completely empty house only a few feet away, Jacob Black, and you have me sitting on the filthy floor of your garage?"
He grinned, raising an eyebrow. "I like my girls dirty."
Leah slapped his chest and then made to pull away. "Fine then. Your girl is walking away then."
Jacob reached out, grabbing her hand and holding it tight. "Don't," he said, his expression and tone completely serious. "I know that you are joking, but you can't say that to me. You just can't."
The look on his face made Leah's heart skip a beat. "I won't," she said, using her free hand to caress his cheek. "I promise."
"Come on," Jacob said standing up, and pulling her with him. He did not let go of her hand until they had entered the house and made their way into his room. As he dropped her hand and turned to look at her, the air between them suddenly felt thicker.
"Uh," Jacob glanced down at himself, spotting his hands which were covered in oil and grease. After the day in the garage he also felt grimy and disgusting. "I should probably clean up. I won't be long. Make yourself comfortable."
Leah nodded mutely as he left the room. A few moments later she heard the shower running in the bathroom across the hall. She turned around slowly, on the spot, looking around Jacob's room, but not really taking his belongings in. The enormity of what she had just done was making a screaming appearance in her head. The fears that had sent her running in the first place were doing all they could to get her to listen to them, to get her to leave again.
Leah closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She was not going to do this to herself anymore. She was not going to let the negativity rule her anymore. It did not matter. All that mattered at this point in time was increasing fluttering in the pit of her stomach and the person who was only a few metres away.
In the shower...naked...
Though she had made no conscious decision, Leah began moving in the direction of the bathroom across the hall. With a slight hesitation, she pushed the door open. The steam filling the room made the air thick, and when she caught sight of the tall silhouette behind the shower glass, Leah felt her breath catch in her throat. Silently, she stripped off her clothes and then stepped towards the shower recess and slowly opened the door.
Jacob turned around, wiping water off his face. As his eyes gazed directly at her, occasionally darting down her body, Leah suddenly felt anxious. In all the times that she and Jacob had been together, she had rarely been completely naked. She had never felt quite so vulnerable.
But then, Jacob reached out, clasping her hand and pulling her close to him. Leah moved her free hand behind her to slide the door shut, before circling it around his waist. His body was slick and warm from the steaming water that was pounding both of them. As she ran a hand down his chest, she felt all the tension inside of her melt away, allowing her to focus completely on only one thing.
Jacob brought his hand up under her chin, tilting her head upwards so that he could press his lips into hers. Leah did not hesitate with her response, opening her mouth so that she could push her tongue into his. The kiss deepened to the point of almost being desperate. Leah clasped her hands around Jacob's neck, holding his lips to hers, not wanting it to stop- ever.
With a groan that originated from deep within his throat, Jacob turned them so that he could press Leah up against the wall of the shower. The chill of the tiles sent a shock down her spine, right to her core and she gasped out loud. Instinctively, she thrust her hips forward, feeling Jacob's hardness press into her stomach.
Jacob's broke away from hers as he trailed a length down her neck, and back up towards her ear. "Fuck," he whispered before gently sucking on her lobe. "You have no idea what you do to me."
With a soft laugh, Leah trailed a hand down his chest and stomach before grasping his erection. "I think I have some idea."
"And what about you?" Jacob asked, flicking a tongue in her ear. "What effect do I have on you?"
Leah pushed him back slightly, so that she could look him in the eyes. "The only effect you are having right now is me wondering why the hell you are not inside me already."
Jacob inhaled sharply, before hoisting her up by the waist. "What about now?" he asked, as he slid himself into her. Leah could only moan as she wrapped her legs around him. As he started to move, she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, allowing herself to be overcome by the sensation of him filling her.
"No," Jacob's voice broke through. "Open your eyes. Look at me."
Leah did so, tightening her grip around his neck as he began to increase his pace. The glass chamber was soon filled with their moans and sighs that punctuated each thrust. Jacob had one arm tight around Leah's waist and another palm flat on the wall, trying to keep them stable. Leah pulled her legs tighter around him, wanting them as close as possible, wanting to feel absolutely everything. His gaze had not broken from hers and Leah realised that the look in his eyes was the same as the last fateful time they had been together. That last time the look had made her stomach turn, had made her run. But now it filled her with a content happiness that only added to the physical effects of Jacob's body in hers.
"Jake..." she sighed, lowering one of her legs, causing Jacob's angle inside if her to change slightly and hit a new spot. "Fuck...yes...Jake...there...yes..."
Jacob thrust his hips hard, plunging deeper in her. He could not believe that this was happening. He had all but given up, and now Leah was here, wrapped around him, looking at him as if she wanted to be able to do this for the rest of her life.
"Jake...ugh...oh...yes...fuck...Jake...Jake..." she sighed and moaned, pushing her hips out to meet his every thrust. "Yes...yes...oh..." he felt her tightening around him as she began to writhe more frantically. Seconds later she cried out, throwing her head back. "Jake..." she brought her head forward, pressing her mouth into his ear. "Don't stop...keep going..." she rotated her hips. "Your turn."
Jacob buried his head in the crook of her neck, thrusting into her as deeply as he could. It took only a few seconds for him to reach his peak. He let out a loud guttural moan just before he let himself go and then crushed his lips onto Leah's, wanting to taste her as well as feel her.
And though they were both spent, neither made an attempt to move, wanting to stay that way, connected, and savour the moment for as long as possible.
XXXXX
Leah was awake, but she did not want to open her eyes. Instead she pressed herself closer to the warm body next to hers, willing herself to go back to sleep. But, as usual, once she was awake there was no getting back to sleep.
With a sigh, she opened her eyes, and found Jacob staring down at her. "Morning," she murmured.
"Hmm..." Jacob replied. "You look like you slept well."
She nodded. "Yeah. It was kind of weird, but I totally crashed. I guess that's what happens when you are completely exhausted."
Jacob's brow furrowed. "Weird? What the fuck?"
Leah laughed, propping herself up on her elbow. "Oh come on- we have never actually slept together before," she said, poking him in the chest. "It was fucking great, but still took a little getting used to."
Jacob grinned. "Fucking great, hey?"
"Stop fishing for compliments," Leah said, before rolling back over so that she was lying on the flat of her back. She was silent for a few moments, but then turned her head towards him. "Jake."
"Yeah?"
"What happens next?"
"What do you mean?"
"With us. What do we do? Do we keep this to ourselves, or do we just start walking around the reservation holding hands?"
Jacob did not respond immediately, his expression pensive. "Umm...I'm going to give you a completely honest answer, ok?" he started and Leah nodded. "I think that for now, we should probably keep this between us. We have no idea how things are going to pan out- hell, we might only work when we are just having random fucks to help our self esteem."
Leah laughed and then let out a loud sigh of relief. "I am so on the same page. I have been the focus of the reservation grape vine for too long and I am sick of it. I want us to be able to enjoy this before we throw ourselves to the wolves."
Jacob raised his eyebrows. "Wolves? Oh come on, Leah, surely you could have come up with a better one than that."
"What?" Confusion crossed Leah's face as she ran back over what she said. When realisation hit, she reached across and shoved Jacob. "Fuck off, Black. You know what I was saying." She sat up slightly, catching sight of his alarm clock. "I should probably get going. Who knows when Billy is going to turn up."
Jacob nodded. "But, we should do something today."
Leah bit her bottom lip. "There's actually something that I need to do today. Tonight?" she asked and Jacob nodded. "The clearing? Meet me there."
Jacob leaned across, pressing his lips into hers. "I'll see you then."
XXXXX
Leah did not even have to knock on the door before it flew open, a smiling Edward on the other side. "Hey Leah."
She sighed. "Eavesdropping again, Cullen?"
He nodded, a grin on his face. "You are normally a lot better at keeping things under wraps. I guess happiness is a little bit harder to contain, hey?"
"How the fuck anybody lives with you without killing you is beyond me," Leah said, though not nastily. "Look, I want to make this quick- where is she?"
"She is just talking to Seth. She knows you're here- give her a few minutes?"
Leah nodded. "Ok, I'll just wait out here and—"
"Agghhh!!!!" a high pitched scream cut her off, and Leah peered curiously into the house.
"What's up with the midget?" Leah asked Edward.
Alice heard her and rolled her eyes. "Good to see you again, White Fang."
Edward was staring intently at Alice, obviously taking in whatever she was thinking. "Alice, I think that you are worrying about nothing- you still see their complete path."
Alice was shaking her head fervently. "I know that, but something is not right and I can't figure it out and it is driving me insane!"
"Can I ask what is going on?" Leah interjected. "Or is this secret leech business?"
"You already know," Edward replied. "I'm assuming Jacob passed on the news about the visiting coven?"
"Yeah- but I thought there was nothing to worry about," Leah replied.
"There isn't," Edward said, "but Alice has convinced herself that there is."
"I have not convinced myself!" Alice denied vehemently. "I just feel that something is not right. I don't think that we should sit here complacent until they make their appearance. Something is going to change- I can feel it." She turned to Leah. "Can you let the pack know that I am not feeling 100% certain about this? I can still see the clear path from where they are to our place, but..." she trailed off, her expression obviously troubled.
Leah nodded. "I can do that," she said, catching sight of Edward's expression, which clearly read 'overreaction'. However, before he could add another two cents, Bella walked in.
"Leah. Hey." Her tone was uncertain.
Leah was feeling equally uncomfortable. "Hey...um, can we talk?"
Bella nodded, and then stepped out the front door, leading the two of them away from the others. "What is wrong?"
Leah drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "Ok, I just want to get this over and done with. Thank you."
Bella blinked. "Thank you?"
"Yes. Thank you for helping me pull my head out of my arse."
Realisation dawned on Bella's face. "Jacob?"
Leah nodded. "Yeah...and about that- could you and Edward keep quiet? We're not going public just yet...not even our families know," she added pointedly.
"Of course," Bella nodded. "No one will know until you or Jacob tell them." She paused. "But speaking of Seth, he could probably use a visit from his sister right now."
"What's wrong? What's happened?"
"He's having a bad day..." Bella faltered slightly. "We all get them...Nessie...she is still ageing so fast and none of our leads have panned out. We have no idea what is going to happen...if...if we can't stop it. He tries so hard to keep a completely happy front, but every now and then it just gets a little too much."
"Where is he?" Bella motioned towards the backyard, and Leah made her way around the house immediately. She saw Seth sitting on rock, which for some reason looked as if someone had taken to it with a sledgehammer. As she got closer, Leah blinked. Were those finger marks gouged into the stone?
"Leah?" Seth sounded shocked.
"Hey little bro." She paused, taking in the utter desperation written on his face and she did the only she could think of. She sat down next to him, and opened her arms wide. "Come here."
XXXXX
Jacob's heart jumped as he entered the clearing later that evening. Leah was sitting there, by the water. He would have never admitted it, but there was a tiny part of him that feared her running again.
He was all ready to sweep her up in his arms, when he noticed the dark expression on her face. So instead, he sat down beside. "What is going on?"
She ran a hand through her hair. "Just some fucking fucked up shit," she muttered, and he had to fight the urge to laugh at her choice of vocabulary.
"And what sort of fucking shit are we talking about now?" he asked.
Leah glanced up at him, uncertainly and then turned away again. "Imprinting," she sighed and Jacob felt his heart sink. She was going to run again.
"Leah, look I don't know how many times—"
"Whoa." Leah held up her hands, suddenly realising the effect that word would have on him. "Believe me when I say that this has nothing to do with us. I am not having a freak out...well, not the kind of freak out that you are thinking of."
"Then what?"
"I saw Seth today and he is not the same little brother anymore. He was always the happy and optimistic one and now he is being slowly destroyed," she explained. "This whole imprinting thing is made out to be so beautiful and wonderful. Love at first sight, soul mates for life and all that crap. Well, what happens if that soul mate is not around for life? What happens to their imprint then? How are they supposed to continue when the supposed only person on Earth for them is gone?"
Jacob reached out, clasping one of her hands. "I don't know," he replied honestly.
"The way that the demon spawn is ageing, she may not even be alive in a few years time. Seth shouldn't have to go through that- and he wouldn't have to if fucking imprinting didn't exist. Of all people in this world, he is one who truly deserves happiness, and what does he get? Heart ache and a kick in the gut."
"The situation with Nessie night work itself out. We don't know."
"But that's not all. The whole thing is just wrong. That one of the biggest decisions you will ever make- who you are going to spend the rest of your life with- is taken completely out of your hands. You have no say. You have no choice."
"True," Jacob agreed. "But then, in life you can't help who you fall in love with."
"Imprinting isn't love," Leah said. "It's mind control. It is not romantic, it is not beautiful. I couldn't live with it...the rest of them are too blissed out to realise how sick it really is. I could not live everyday looking at somebody who I didn't choose..." she trailed. "Not that I have to worry about it anyway. I just needed to vent for my brother."
"What do you mean you don't have to worry about it?" Jacob asked.
Leah looked up at him. "Oh come on, we've had this conversation. If I was going to imprint, I would have. With one of the guys on the rez, carry on the line, that sort of thing. I guess I should count myself lucky." She exhaled, blowing a strand of hair away from her face. "I have completely put a dampener on this evening, haven't I?"
Jacob grinned. "Not really. You getting on your high horse is very entertaining. I'm enjoying myself."
"Fuck you," she laughed, elbowing him. "For that, it's your turn to entertain me."
Jacob gave her blank look. "And just how am I going to do that?"
In what felt like a blink of a eye, Leah had straddled his lap and had the collar of his shirt fisted in her hands. "Let me show you," she murmured, bringing his lips to hers.
