**-- First off, to an anonymus reviewer by the name of mimi.x asked a question. She asked what cc and cs are. I honestly don't understand what you mean. Sorry. Maybe you could tell me what chapter and where then I can answer your question.
THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!! 3 :D
Wow, so apparently the only thing I have to do to get reviews is threaten a permanent break-up. :) *grins evily*
I have a very good idea where I want this story to go. You'll just have to wait and see!
Now, on with the insanity...
Chapter 13: The Past
~A month later. Bella's point of view~
Edward and I had been in college for a little over a month now. I hadn't talked to him since my birthday. I couldn't avoid seeing him because we have our general education classes together. During those times, I would avoid all contact with him. When he would answer a question aloud to the class my heart would ache at the sound of his voice. Even though I had rid myself of all contact with him, he was still trying to contact me. He would text and call my cell phone. Charlie, Renee', Alice, and everyone else would tell me that he called them in an effort to get a hold of me. I wouldn't even respond. I was determined to make him forget about me.
So, today was like no other day. I woke up, gathered my English book and papers and proceeded to the big building. I walked slowly because I knew Edward would be there before me, as always. And, just like I expected, he was. He was sitting close to the back corner. I knew he was trying to make eye contact with me but I couldn't look at him. I was enough of a mess as it was! I had lost at least fifteen pounds and hadn't slept at all. I looked sort of like a danerously thin drug dealer. I had no idea why Edward had this big of an effect on me.
Class went by normally, and so did the rest of them. I wsa glad I was done with school for the week. I planned on going home for a wekk to visit Charlie. I hadn't been home since my birthday and it felt like years rather than a month.
"Bellsie!" Tanya exclaimed, using a nickname I completely detested, when I walked into our dorm room. She was sitting on her bed and there were two guys with her, one I recognized as James, a guy she was always with but wasn't dating.
"I'm just picking up some stuff, then I'm headed home." I said. I went to my bed and pulled out my duffelbag from underneath it. As I filled it with a week's worth of clothes from my closet and dresser, James came up behind me and put his hands on my hips.
"Why don't you just stay here with me, puddin'?" He said in a seductive tone.
I turned around and pushed him off me. "No thanks." I picked up my duffelbag, waved good bye to Tanya, and proceeded to my well used Pontiac (I had needed a better car than my truck when I moved to college).
I drove the seventy-five miles it took to get to Forks. When I finally arrived at Charlie's it was five-thirty at night. And when I saw whose silver Volvo was sitting in front of my father's house, I cursed under my breath.
~A little bit pissed off, Edward's point of view~
I was sitting with Charlie in his living room watching baseball and discussing college when I heard Bella pull up outside. I had to talk to her. It had been a whole month and she hadn't even glanced at me. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I could tell she wasn't getting enough sleep and she looked smaller, more fragile than she used to.
Bella's last words to me were engraved in my memory forever. I don't want you.
Well, regardless if she wanted me or not, she was going to talk to me.
"Bella's home." Charlie said excitedly as he got up to open the door. I stood up,too. But, before Charlie could even get to the door, it flew open and Bella practically ran up the stairs and closed herself in her old bedroom. Charlie looked baffaled, but I wasn't surprised. I knew Bella didn't want to talk to me. She'd been avoiding me for a month and I just happen to show up at her house the day she comes home.
Truth be told, I just wanted to make sure she was happy and healthy. And I knew she wasn't healthy. I had no clue if she had met another guy and was happy with him. Hopefully she was happy. That's all I wanted.
"I'll deal with this, Charlie." I said to him. He nodded and went back to his football. I ran up the stairs two at a time. It seemed that I couldn't get to her fast enough. I pounded my fist on her door. I was a little annoyed with her. Why couldn't she just talk to me? "Bella, I am going to talk to you. It's your choice to let Charlie hear or not!" I shouted through the door. I could hear her crying inside. The sound of her sobs broke me. "Bella, love? Please let me in." I was on the verge of tears myself. I missed her so much that it was a struggle just to get up. I sometimes would just go off by myself so my friends wouldn't see me cry. I mean, have you ever seen two college guys cry about their feeling to each other? We're to macho for that.
That small click of the door opening pulled be from my thoughts. Bella's head peeked around the corner. She was looking at the floor and I could still hear her sniffling. It took all my strength not to pull her into my arms. This whole situation was making our lives miserable.
She finally looked up at me. A lump formed in my throat. She looked terrible. She was thin and pale. Her eyes weren't the sparks of life the were before. My restraint broke. I stepped forward in an attempt to hug her. She put her hands on my chest keeping me at bay. I stepped back remebering her last words to me. "I'm sorry, Bella." I whispered. She turned around and went back into her room. I followed her. She sat on her bed and I sat in the rocking chair in the corner.
"Bells, we have to talk about this." I said.
Then I heard her voice. "I know." But this wasn't the same voice. This voice was a dead monotone. The only emotions in it were pain and sadness.
I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. "I have a few questions for you and I want you to answer honestly, alright?" Bella nodded.
~Bella's point of view~
Why can't he just forget me and move on? It's what's best for him. I kept telling myself mentally. I was prepared for Edward's questions and would answer them honestly. That would just get him out of here faster and back with his life.
Here came the first question. "Why did you say no?"
That one hurt. "I said no because if I married you, you would be making a mistake."
I watched as he thought about my answer. "Okay, next one: Why did you say you didn't want me?"
I picked up the pillow on the bed and hugged it to my body. "I said that because I was trying to get you to leave me and not want to come back." I buried my face in the pillow.
He opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it. "Alright...last one: How do you see yourself?"
This one surprised me. Why would he want to know that? "Huh?"
"How do you see yourself?" He repeated. "Just answer honestly. You said you would."
I nodded. He was right. I vowed to answer honestly. I took a deep breath. "I see myself as inadequate. I'm a scrawny girl with annoying brown hair and boring brown eyes." I paused because the tears were threatening to escape. Once I thought I had it under control, I continued. "I'm pretty intelegant and am quite sensiable...according to me." A few tears escaped. I wiped them on the sleeve of my shirt.
"That's where you're wrong." Edward retorted. He suddenly stood up and began pacing the room. He looked irritated.
"What's the matter?" I asked following him with my eyes as he walked back and forth.
"Why do you see yourself that way? Don't you realize that you're beautiful? Don't you think that there are millions of men who would be more than willing to have you? Don't you realize that I get jealous everytime I see you with another guy no matter who it is?" He shot off the questions before I could answer them.
I didn't say anything. I just watched him. He stopped pacing and pinched the bridge of his nose. We were both silent.
"Edward...I don't know how to see myself that way. I'm an average person. I'm too ordinary. I've been telling myself that you and me were just a phase and that you'd get over it...even if I didn't." I hid my face in the pillow again.
I felt Edward sit down on my bed but I didn't look up. It wasn't until he put his arm around my shoulders that I finally looked at him. His lips were only inches from mine. And those beautiful green eyes bore into mine.
"Bella, love," Edward said. "I don't know how to make you see that you're amazing. I need you to tell me what I can do." He kissed my forehead. "Please."
~Edward's point of view~
Bella turned her head and pressed her lips to my jaw. "Just promise me that if you ever grow bored with me, you will leave. You won't worry about what makes me happy. Please?"
I cupped her face with my hands. "Bella, I will never leave you and there's no way I can grow bored with you. You're perfect."
She blushed. "And stop complimenting me."
I chuckled. "Well you'll just have to get used to the compliments, love." I kissed her lightly on the lips.
We spent a while just sitting on her bed not saying a word. Eventually Charlie came up and knocked on the door. He said that he pizza he ordered was here and that we should come down and eat before it got cold.
As I walked downstairs with Bella's hand in mine, I couldn't help but smile. I was a relieved to know that she was mine again. But I was also scared about how our relationship would be from now on. We still had a lot of talking and explaining to do.
This chapter ROYALLY SUCKED!!!!!
Leave a reivew please!!
~Kelli(jellyjo2014)
