No Bride for Booth
By LizD
Written May 2010 - July 2010
Chapter 13
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Brennan closed her laptop when she saw Elizabeth Darrow enter a small bistro in Georgetown. Brennan wasn't sure what she was about to hear, but Elizabeth had requested the meeting. She had tried to refuse but Elizabeth was extremely demanding.
"Thank you for coming, Dr. Brennan."
"What can I do for you, Ms. Darrow?"
"I am not sure how much you know, so I am going to tell you what I need you to hear - OK?" Brennan nodded for her to continue. "I love Seeley. I didn't think I would ever love another man after my husband died, but particularly in the past several weeks I have come to believe that I have fallen in love with him."
"The past several weeks?" Brennan asked. "The weeks you spent in San Diego with your dead husband's family?"
Elizabeth sat back. She had heard about Brennan's abruptness, but never expected it to be so pointed. "Yes," she answered. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," she spouted as if that were a reasonable explanation.
"That sentiment never made sense to me," Brennan commented. "However your statement implies that you didn't believe you were in love with him when you broke the engagement and left town, or for the past several months living with him here in DC, or when you came to see me in July or August or when you accepted his proposal of marriage. Do you believe that Booth was in love with you all this time?"
Elizabeth's eyes flashed with anger. "The point is, I came back to renew my engagement with Seeley." She waggled her left hand for Brennan to see the ring firmly placed on her finger. She waited for Brennan to respond, but got nothing. "It seemed that we needed some time apart with no expectations in order to reevaluate our feelings and our relationship."
"I understand that," Brennan spoke from experience.
"What I found when I came back was Seeley more lost, more confused and more alone than he had been when we were together."
"And you believe that you were the stabilizing factor in his life."
"More than that, I believe that his working in major crimes and his partnership with you is not."
"I suppose from your perspective that would be accurate."
"And you think I am wrong."
"Ms. Darrow, I have known Booth for seven years. I trust what he tells me to be true. So I believed him when he said that he was glad to be back working in major crimes. He was glad to be proactive and productive. That he was glad to be working with me again. Never did he mention that he was lost, confused or alone. " She wanted to say that he expressed a sense of relief when Elizabeth broke off the engagement and left, but felt that that might be too harsh. " In fact he seemed pretty focused. For the first time in more than a year, he seemed to be getting back to his old self, the way he was before. You may not recognize that as you have no frame of reference." That was a little harsh.
"Booth chose me!" Elizabeth stated unequivocally. Brennan showed no reaction, but her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach. Irritated by the lack of reaction, Elizabeth continued her attack. "I'm stunned as to why you still consider him your partner? Why you still refer to your partnership in the present tense? Do you care about him at all?" Brennan didn't say anything. "If you were his partner, why have you not been in his life for the past nine months? Why did you walk away during his darkest hour? Why did you leave your partner in the hands of a stranger to find his way back?"
Brennan felt the tears welling up in her eyes and forced them back. "It was at Booth's request."
"I would never leave anyone I loved."
"No, I imagine you wouldn't," she said coldly.
"What does that mean?"
"It means," Brennan paused to check her words. "It means that people make mistakes - about themselves and about the people in their lives. Sometimes for all the right reasons, a wrong decision is made. It means that people who are selflessly making choices for the other person's benefit can make the wrong choice without malice."
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, is that what you are telling me?"
"I don't appreciate metaphors or clichés. What I am saying is that all of us are doing the best we can - and I am including you. I believe that you do care about Booth and that you sincerely want the best for him."
"I do."
"But is what you want necessarily best for him?" Elizabeth was shut down.
"Are you in love with Seeley?"
"He doesn't like to be called by his given name."
"That does not answer my question," she barked.
"I am no comfortable sharing my feelings with you as you clearly have an agenda."
"Are you hoping that he will leave me for you?"
"I have no expectations as concerns Booth at all, but if you need an assurance from me that I will not interfere with your relationship with Booth, then you have it." Of course declaring her love for him, to him, directly and unequivocally could only be considered interference.
Elizabeth laughed - snorted really. "You can't possibly make that assurance, Dr. Brennan. Your very existence is an interference in my relationship with Seeley. You could be his partner or you could be a million miles away. You are smack dab between us."
"That is not my intention and clearly not something I can control. That would be something that Booth needs to address. Maybe you two should seek couples counseling."
"Counseling, right ... 'cause it worked so well for you." Elizabeth shook her head. How could Seeley care about such a cold fish? "Intention or no, Dr. Brennan - you are there. And I don't play second to anyone - for anyone." She waited for Brennan to respond, but none was forth coming. "As yourself - as he partner, as his friend: If Seeley were about to lose a chance at real happiness because of you - because of your partnership, are you worth it?" With that she got up and stormed out.
"Real happiness?" Brennan didn't believe in that, but Booth did.
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Booth spent the next several hours processing Edwards. He had called Brennan to talk to her about the case (there were other things to talk about but that would come later), but she didn't pick up. He has scheduled dinner with Elizabeth and didn't feel it was right to cancel. He called to say he would be late, but had to leave a message.
"I hear you caught the bad guy," Sweets said.
Booth leaned back and nodded for Sweets to take his guest chair. Being in the bull pen and not an office, Booth didn't like to talk and particularly not with Sweets, regardless he needed to keep his voice down. Maybe no one would notice. "We did."
"Congratulations," he said. "How was it working with Dr. Brennan again?"
"Fine."
"Fine?" Sweets was shocked. "I saw the interrogation tapes ... it was better than Fine ... you two were amazing."
"We had the guy, dead to rights ... there was nothing AMAZING about it." Even Booth didn't believe what he was saying. They were amazing. They never should have split up. "I need to ask you something Sweets ... since clearly you are still fixated on us."
Sweets sat back fearing what was coming next.
"You trashed your book, I hear ... why?"
"It would have needed an entire re-write to account for the information you gave me and ..."
"And?"
"And as I thought about it ... it felt like an invasion of privacy."
"It didn't before?"
"As colleagues you two were a fascinating pair. You shouldn't have worked, but you did - to some pretty fantastic results and not just professionally. You both learned to trust - excluding the outside world, but it was a giant step for both of you"
"But your conclusion kind of threw that COLLEAGUE thing out the window, yes?"
"As I said it felt more like an invasion of privacy. I was witness to something very profound and I was taking advantage of it. I'm sorry."
Booth nodded. An apology was what he had wanted from Sweets for more than a year. "Let me ask you something else. When I woke up from my coma ... you warned me ... hell you gave me factual scientific medical proof that what I was feeling for Bones wasn't real. Then, seven months later you all but dared me to speak those feelings. How could you ... Why did you flip?"
"In those intervening months it was my impression that those feelings hadn't diminished and that by continuing to deny them there would be irreparable damage done to the partnership."
"Well admitting them didn't help either."
"So you took my advice and told her how you felt?" Sweets asked. He knew the answer from something else Booth has said, but they never talked about it. "You told her you were in love with her."
Booth shifted his position. "Not in so many words," he said. "But the gist was there."
"Do you regret not being more direct?"
"She wasn't in love with me," he stated but the operative word in that sentence was WASN'T as in WAS NOT, as in PAST TENSE. She loved him now. She admitted it.
"So I will assume that Dr. Brennan was still in denial? She said as much in my office but I assumed that was for my benefit, not yours. I assumed that she would respond in kind, if you spoke first."
"You know what they say about assuming, Sweets."
"I see. I see." He looked down. "Well that makes the animosity you have toward me make more sense, and the whole year away is put in a little bit more perspective. What about now? You are engaged to another woman and working with Dr. Brennan, what is that like?"
Booth shook his head. "Forget it, Sweets ... not going there again with you. OK?" Booth grabbed his files and left.
"Yeah, sure." Sweets looked miserable.
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Angela had insisted on driving Brennan to the airport. Brennan would have preferred a taxi as it would have been less talk. "So you told him?'
"Yes, Angela ... I told him."
"What did he say?"
"He had to go interrogate a suspect."
"Sweetie!"
"I didn't want to wait for a specific time. It seemed best to tell him and allow him to deal with it on his own as he saw fit."
"And?"
"And then Elizabeth called and we haven't had a chance to talk privately."
"You saw Nurse Betty again?"
"Yes, she told me they were back together. More than that, she implied that if Booth and I didn't end our partnership, she would leave him."
"So you are running away? What did I tell you about making decisions for other people?"
"I am going to Stanford to tour the facilities, to discuss the expectations and to consider their offer. That is all."
"But you haven't accepted the job yet."
"Angela," she scolded.
"Look I just got you back after a year sabbatical, I don't want to be pen pals again anytime soon."
"Angela, we will always be friends - isn't that what you said?"
"Yes." She sighed. "Just don't make any rash decisions OK? At least not until you have all the facts, until you talk to Booth - face to face."
"Don't worry."
"Did you tell Booth you were going?"
"I left him a message that said I would be back in two days to help wrap up the case."
"Did you tell him about Elizabeth?"
"I didn't see the point."
Angela pulled up to the curb and jumped out. "I love you sweetie."
"I love you too," Brennan hugged her.
"You are always leaving," she said.
"And I always come back."
"So far."
"I will this time too."
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Brennan's plane was delayed. She sat in the bar trying to distract herself with what to do next with her characters but nothing was coming. Her phone rang, it was Booth.
"Stanford?" he barked into the phone when she picked up. "Right now? You are going to Stanford right now?"
"Well, I will spend the night in Los Angeles and head up to Stanford in the morning."
"You know that is not what I am asking."
"Yes I am leaving now - well the plane has been delayed, but I expect they will call us in twenty minutes."
"Bones!"
"I am only going to speak with them; I have not made a decision."
"We have a lot of paperwork to do to wrap this case, ya know."
"I will send you my report when I get there, I can write it up from the plane."
"Why are you really going?"
"It seemed prudent."
"Prudent? What is going on Bones?"
"Elizabeth suggested that -."
"Elizabeth? You talked to her? When?"
"This afternoon. She contacted me and -"
"I thought I asked you to refer her to me if she was to contact you again."
"Which is essentially what I said."
"But now you are getting on a plane," he protested. "What happened?"
Brennan briefly considered keeping the confidence before she spoke. "She told me that she was in love with you. That she came back to renew the engagement, that major crimes and our partnership were not good for you - I assumed she meant your mental health. She suggested that I was causing a rift in your relationship - again I assumed she meant our partnership, not me per se though she seemed to have been confused on that point. Women often are. They confuse the other person for -."
"Bones," he stopped her from going off on a tangent.
"And she challenged me for leaving you when you were injured and questioned my value in your life."
Booth was blown away. He never would have suspected that Elizabeth would be so harsh. She never had been with him, but he knew Brennan didn't lie or exaggerate. In fact she was probably saying less than really happened. "That doesn't make sense," he said. "We broke up this morning, before I saw you, she was packing to leave. There was no confusion for either of us. In fact we agreed and it was all very amicable."
Brennan was a little confused. She had originally assumed that the interview with Elizabeth was due to her declaration to Booth, but of course it couldn't have been. He didn't have a chance to tell Elizabeth before she called. In light of the conversation with Elizabeth, Brennan felt that her assertion was too little, too late. She would not force Booth to respond or in any way acknowledge her sentiments or compromise his relationship with Elizabeth. After Elizabeth stormed out, Brennan had written to Stanford to accept the invitation to visit.
"It doesn't make sense that she would confront you like that."
"Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe she needed someone to blame," Brennan offered. "Psychology is your area, not mine. But she seemed to be pretty adamant that you two were engaged and that my continued presence would jeopardize the relationship."
"Did you believe her?" he asked.
"I had no reason to believe she was lying."
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Question the value you bring to my life?"
Brennan didn't know how to answer that. "They are calling our flight, I need to go."
"Bones ... wait ... You'll be back in a couple of days?"
"Yes ... you will have my report as soon as we land."
"Don't accept their offer," he protested. "Not yet ... not until we can talk, OK?"
She snapped the phone shut before responding, saying good-bye or hearing anything else he had to say. In her head she heard Angela's warning about making decisions for other people.
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Booth knocked on the apartment door. He had told her he would give her all the time and space she needed to get her stuff together for the move back to San Diego; he would find other accommodations. He didn't want there to be any confusion that the relationship was over (i.e. no more sex). It really shouldn't have taken that long, she never actually moved in. They were living with his stuff (the bare necessities) that they pulled out of storage. As far as he could tell she had never moved anything personal other than her clothes into the apartment and at that they were only summer clothes. They hadn't made one joint purchase together other than food and one trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond for linens. On his way over that night he was feeling guilty. He had used her. It wasn't his intention, but he had - or he felt that way. But he was coming to realize that she had never fully committed either. She clearly didn't trust him - of course he was not entirely trustworthy. He would have married her. He would have stayed with her. He would have moved to San Diego and been a shadow of his former self. It would have been a mistake, but he would have done it. That morning when they talked they agreed it was a mistake. So why would she confront Brennan?
"Seeley," she said stepping back allowing him to enter. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."
"Really?" He looked down at her hand and noticed the ring still on her finger. "I was under the impression you thought we were still together."
She lifted her hand and pulled it off handing it back to him. "No."
"Really?" He stuffed the ring in his pocket. He didn't want the ring, there was nothing he was going to do with it. But he certainly wasn't going to let her have it if she were could to misrepresent them. "I had heard that you stated - in so many words - that we were. I was just here to ask about that." He was controlling his anger. He never thought he would be angry with Elizabeth, but he didn't like women who played games particularly not with him.
"So she called you," Elizabeth walked away. "I knew she would."
"She didn't call me. In fact she left town."
Elizabeth didn't turn around but she smiled to herself. "Well that sounds typical. She is good at leaving and letting other people clean up the mess."
Booth followed her into the living room. "I don't know what you think you know about Brennan - but whatever you are thinking is wrong."
Elizabeth turned toward him. "She doesn't love you. She can't give you what you want."
"I can say the same about you, Elizabeth." Booth couldn't believe he just said that. "I'm sorry ... but you have to know that is true."
"I just can't believe that you left me for -."
"Hey ... stop ... stop right there, Elizabeth. This is not a choice between you and Brennan. We talked this morning. We talked about us and what our expectations were. You don't love me."
"I could."
"Yeah, maybe ... in another lifetime. We had some fun and I will be forever in your debt for helping me. I think I helped you too. But it is not enough to build a marriage."
"You didn't always think so."
"No, no I didn't - and I was wrong. I had no right to ask you. It was unfair and I am sorry. You at least had the courage to stop it before it went too far and ultimately call it quits."
"Yeah. Yeah it was a good run. We did have some fun. And you did show me one thing about myself that I would never have discovered otherwise. I want love in my life. I will never forget William, but I want to love and be loved. I can have it and I deserve it."
"Yes you do."
She smiled. "I won't apologize about Dr. Brennan. I still think she holds way to big a place in your life - she doesn't deserve you, Seeley."
He smiled. "I need to tell you one thing - I mean I should have said something a while ago, but I was ... how should I say this? ... I was going for a different outcome." She waited. "I really hate it when people call me Seeley."
She nodded and smiled. Point Brennan. "Ok, Ok ... I hear you."
"Good," he reached out to take her hand. "You need anything, you call, OK?"
"Ok," she pressed his hand back.
He pulled her into a friendly embrace. "Find some happiness," he whispered in her ear.
She turned her face into his neck and nuzzled it. "One more for the road, soldier?" she asked playfully.
He stepped back and looked at her. It was gone. The need to do what he needed to do to make her happy was gone. He was his own man again, and he didn't want to be with her. "No, no thanks."
"Where are you staying?" she asked worried that he was running off to Brennan's.
"Charlie has a couch ... take your time." He turned and left without looking back. It was very liberating.
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Brennan sat in her hotel room by LAX. The noise from the planes taking off and landing was going to keep her awake all night. She should have rented a car and driven the 6 hours to Stanford rather than wait for morning to catch a flight to San Jose. She thought about calling Booth several times. He had said he had broken up with Elizabeth. He asked her directly not to make a decision about Stanford. He clearly wanted to respond to her declaration. Leaving town was probably the chickens way out, but it meant that he would be allowed to make a decision without pressure. It felt wrong though. It felt like she was playing a game.
She opened her email and wrote:
Booth -
You probably won't read this one either if I actually hit send. I told you today that I loved you. I don't regret anything about that that other than my timing. I should have told you years ago. The thing is I don't think it means that our partnership, our friendship, our relationship needs to be pushed into a different direction. I can love you - I have loved you - these past ten months and you have barely been in my life. I have loved you the four years before that but never felt the need to push for a different outcome - in fact I did everything I possibly could to not try for a different outcome. I trust you as I never have anyone including myself. I know you trust me. That has so much more value than anything that can be gleaned from a more romantic relationship. Somehow I know you appreciate that as much as I do. Elizabeth challenged my value in your life. Only you can determine that, but your value in mine is priceless. So know this, I will never break your trust or do anything to have your trust in me shaken. You would probably say - as I would say to you - that that is not a promise I can make, but we would both be wrong. I have nothing to gain and everything to lose. I expected to be alone, but if I can keep your trust, I will never be alone.
Yours, Temperance
She considered for a moment and hit send. She didn't notice that it was the wrong email address.
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The clock was ticking down to two minutes. Lister struggled against their restraints. "I think I have it," Lister grunted as he pulled his hand free. "There, I got it." He reached over to undo his other arm. "Hang on, I am going to get us out of here." Reichs had stopped struggling. Her IV has been dislodged and she was losing consciousness. "Kathy! Kathy! Don't you die on me, girl." He untied his feet and fell off the gurney. He ran to the bomb, but it was completely sealed. There was no getting in without tools. He rushed back over Kathy. She was unconscious. He thought about untying her but there wasn't time. With great effort he pushed the gurney to the door. It was locked. The clock read 45 seconds. There was a door on the other side of the room, probably a closet. At least they might be shielded from the blast. He rolled the gurney across the room and into the closet. He pulled the door closed behind them just as the clock ticked down to zero.
