I bit my lip in nervousness despite my apparent happiness and laughter with Parvati. I felt a wave of nausea pass over me as I realized I "had" to tell her. But, at the same time, I knew how much it would change the lightness of our conversation. And her mood.

For the worse, I feared.

"Parvati," I began, my laughter slowly dying as I realized I was really about to make the attempt.

"What?" she asked, still laughing.

Completely oblivious to what I was about to say, to how I feel about her.

My voice caught in my throat and I had to conscientiously remind myself to breathe. "Why is our friendship so weird?" I half-laughed, trying to keep the mood light.

She laughed, "We're both crazy?"

I laughed as well, knowing, though, that nervous laughter wouldn't fix the situation. "No, but… I just mean…." I took a deep breath. "Or friendship," I repeated. "It's so weird. Like, not the same as your friendships with Harry or Ron or Ginny. Why is ours? Why me?"

Her laughter stopped abruptly. "Well," she said, her anger shining through, "I don't treat everyone the same. All my friends aren't the same person, okay? I treat them the way they ask to be treated."

"So, I asked to be treated like you own me?" I asked rhetorically before I could stop myself. I saw her scowl more. Bloody hell, I thought, now she's on the defensive! "No," I began again, choosing my words carefully as I attempted to smooth things over. "I know that we're not all the same person. I just meant the way you treat me. I'm not saying I mind, I just..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Professor's McGonagall's words coursed through my mind and I found myself saying, "I deserve to know why you treat me so differently, is all."

Parvati glared., "Where do you get this psycho-babble bullshit? You sound like McGonagall. She's always saying that stuff. Did I tell you what she actually said to me before?"

I shook my head. "Hey! Don't change the subject!" I laughed.

Parvati's glare returned and she stood and walked to the bathroom.

I followed her and was surprised to find that she locked the door to enter the Gryffindor girl's lavatory. I sighed and stood outside the door and continued to speak.

"I mean, you treat me like you own me," I said, raising my voice so that it would carry through. "I'm not your possession and… And if you want me to be, we need to talk about that," I said though the door.

"Well, I continued when she didn't answer," not your possession, per se. You wouldn't own me. But I'd still be yours. In a way. I mean, you couldn't tell me who I'd be allowed to hang out with or what I'd be allowed to do, but I'd be yours in the other sense of the word."

At this point, I was rambling and I knew it. It's just that… This wasn't at all the way I had planned it! I mean, wishful thinking or not, I still had rather hoped, despite every fiber of by being knowing that it would end in a fight, that she would still tell me she loves me or something along those lines.

I had just hoped that everything would turn out okay. I mean, I had known it would end badly, but I suppose I just hoped it wouldn't. I suppose that being friends with Katie and Cho and McGonagall and Hooch has spoiled my idea of love and the fairy tale ending. It was like their friendships turned relationships has brainwashed me. I fully believed that not finding your true love in your best friend and relatively early in life was weird.

Mentally, I knew it wasn't weird, that they were just lucky and having that luck is rather rare, but I couldn't help but feel that something was wrong with me. Katie and Cho had found each other before their fourth year and I was at the close of my fifth year. I felt like I was damaged and I often found myself wondering what was so wrong with me that I hadn't found my true love.

Yet at the same time, I knew why I had resisted my feelings for Parvati: this, right here, right now.

I was leaning next to the door as I rambled on about how I wouldn't be hers because you can't own a person and whatnot when she opened the door. I stood straight up, searching her face for a signal, any sign of a reaction to what I had said.

"Oh," she said, almost surprised. "You're still talking?"

"You weren't listening?" I asked, my voice a strangle cry.

"I was going to the bathroom. I told you that. Sweet Merlin! Why don't you listen to me when I talk to you? What's wrong with you?" she shook her head and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I asked as she reached the portrait hole.

"I have things to do," she said, climbing though and slamming the portrait behind her.

I blinked away tears and went up to my bed, feeling sick.

"Why does she treat me this way?" I sobbed into my pillow. I let myself cry out all of the pain and frustration of the last few days.

It isn't fair! Coming out is difficult enough! Shouldn't finding "the one" be easier to compensate for the pain it took to get to this point?

I cried myself to sleep, knowing I had finals the next day that I hadn't studied for and not caring. I just didn't know if Parvati was angry or not and that I ared about deeply, even though I wished that I didn't.

The next morning, I went straight to McGonagall.

"Well," I began, plopping myself down opposite her, "Parvati is angry with me."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "You told her "

"Kinda. 'Member your idea to remove me from the equation? I did that, but she got really angry."

"Did you make it seem like an accusation?" she asked rationally.

I bit my lip, "No," I lied. I took a deep breath. "Maybe a little."

Professor McGonagall made a face that clearly said, "Well, that was stupid."

I relayed the events of the day before, skipping the part where I cried myself to sleep and the part where she, Hooch, Katie, and Cho had spoiled my idea of romance.

"She just left?" McGonagall repeated.

I nodded. "She just left. She is so angry! I don't know how long it will take for her to forgive me!"

"She likes you, though," McGonagall told me.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Well, she makes a face," she said as though that clearly answered everything.

"A face?"

She nodded. "I probably shouldn't have told you that, though."

Why? I shook my head, knowing I would get no better explanation, but desperately wanting one.

No. Want is not the right word. I desperately needed a better explanation.

I stood and waved goodbye, having to study for finals since I had neglected to do so the night before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As my friends and I finished taking the Transfiguration final, we gathered in a circle and began talking amongst ourselves. I suppose it's in our nature as fifteen year olds.

"Susan, it's not that I don't want to tell you," I whispered, trying to be discreet. "I really can't! It's, like, a physical impossibility!"

"Who?" she asked again.

"Who what?" Hannah asked, joining our conversation.

McGonagall glared in our direction as we continued our conversation and our expansion of our group. Her look clearly said, "Shut up." We ducked our heads closer together.

"Hermione won't tell me who she likes," Susan complained to Hannah, "but she told McGonagall."

Harry sat down on my other side. "So you do like someone? I thought you said you didn't!"

"Tell us!" Hannah hissed.

McGonagall smiled as snippets of our conversation floated to her and she began catching on as to what our little pow-wow concerned.

Susan stood and walked up to McGonagall's deck closely followed by Hannah, Harry, and Lisa Turpin.

"Who does Hermione like?" Susan asked, clearly tired of games.

McGonagall looked at me smiling evilly but kept her silence. "I'm not supposed to say."

"Come on!" Hannah said.

"It's Parvati," Lisa guessed assertively.

McGonagall's expression changed only momentarily, but they each caught the change.

"It is!" Lisa said, turning to me.

McGonagall didn't quite manage to suppress her laughter at this little game.

My eyes grew wide as I fully realized that my secret was out. I turned and ran from the room and to the nearest lavatory.

I could hear footsteps following me but I ignored them as I locked myself in the room, using my body as a barricade.

"Hermione!" Susan said, reaching the bathroom only seconds after I had locked the door. She knocked on the door of my stall. "Hermione!"

"Hermione do you want to talk? I think we should talk about this," Harry said, logically.

"No!" I said, my voice a strangled cry. "I don't want to talk to any of you or anyone else!"

"Oh my God!" I heard Hannah exclaim, still clearly reeling from the shock.

Please, make it stop, I prayed. This can't be happening!

"Hermione, is it Parvati?" Susan asked.

"Of course it is. She ran out of the room. That's a pretty big tell," Lisa said.

Bloody hell! What have I done? This is such a bloody train wreck! Bugger!

"Shush, Lisa!" Harry said. "Not now!"

I checked my watch, knowing the time for my next final was approaching.

One minute.

I sighed to myself, attempting to pull myself together.

Come on, Granger. You're stronger than this! You've got to be! You're going to walk out of this stall, head held high, and go directly to your Ancient Runes final exam.

I stood up and opened the door and left the bathroom in almost a dead run so that I could escape without being noticed or stopped. I ignored their calls and shouts for me to come back and I chose, instead, the quiet of the back hallways and, finally, the Runes classroom.

I could barely focus on the test. My mind kept replaying the events that had just occurred. The horrible humiliation I had inflicted upon myself by running out in a moment of weakness.

When I had finished my test, I went directly to McGonagall's office, planning to yell at her and blame her.

However, b the time I had arrived outside of her office, my anger had disappated.

"she's no angry," McGonagall said, walking up to me.

"What?" I looked up. If she was talking about Parvati, then she had talked to her!

"Parvati."

I groaned, "What? You said you wouldn't!" I buried my face in my hands. "This can't be happening!"

"She's not mad. She was going to talk to me about it, but she had another final to take, then she has to pack. But she's not mad," she told me. "I really think she likes you. She's just as scared as you are."

Tomorrow. I will tell her tomorrow, I told myself. I sighed, realizing that it really was the end of the school year. I won't have the luxury of asking McGonagall for help with this whole situation! I realized.

"It'll work out," Professor McGonagall told me, as if she had read my mind. "It will."

How does she know? How can she be so certain?

Sometimes I wish I had seen the bloody basilisk head on instead of through the mirror. Things would be so much easier! I wouldn't have to cope with any of this! As a ghost, or just dead, how much do you really have to cope with?

I swear, McGonagall must be my guardian angel. I can't even imagine going through any of this or coping with any of this without her help.

I sighed and stood, knowing I had to pack.

And mentally prepare myself for the following day.