I got a lot of reivews that said "Kill James!" and "Bella's an idiot!". I agree with both of these, but I'm not sure if I'm going to kill James...yet. ;) *Laughs evilly*
Here's the next chapter...
Chapter 19: I Don't Know Anymore
~A scared Bella's point of view~
The next morning, before Edward woke up, I packed my bags with all the clothes I owned. I also took a photo album of Edward and I's highschool years...before everything had gone haywire...And I left a note:
Edward,
I'm sorry...I seem to be saying that a lot lately, but I don't know what else to say. I know you probably might think of me as stupid for leaving and being so much of a tease. I'm sorry for that, too. I don't know where I'm going or how long I'll be gone. Just do me one favor. Forget about me and be happy. It's the last thing I can ask for.
~Bella
It was blurred in places with tears. I didn't have time to rewrite it. And it was short too, which was what I wanted. I folded the paper in half and set it on the coffe table. This was no way to welcome Edward back from our two week seperation, but as soon as he finds out what happened, he won't want me. I wouldn't be able to handle that rejection. This way seemed less hurtful...selfish, but less hurtful.
I picked up my suitcase and looked around the beautiful apartment. The living room was amazing. It was probably my favorite room in the apartment...apart from the bedroom. But I couldn't think about that now. I focused on memorizing every part of the apartment. The mahogany furniture, the fireplace, the window that over looked the beautiful Seattle skyline, and the couch. The red couch. It was the only piece of red in the room and I loved it. I would miss it. I'd only been living in this apartment for about three days, only one of which was with Edward, but I felt like I'd lived here for my whole life. It seemed like home.
I tried to make my way to the door, but the tears blurring my vision and streaming down my face stopped me. I tripped over the end table and sent my luggage - and me - crashing to the floor. "Fuck!" I swore loudly. My stuff was flung all across the floor and my knee was throbbing. I just curled up in a ball and cried in self pitty...I didn't care if Edward saw me like this. Maybe he'd realize that this girl he calls his fiance' isn't really worth it...
~A startled Edward's point of view~
I finally fell into a very bad sleep full of nightmares that involved Bella and me and seperation. I hated to think about that. But something deep in my gut told me the issue would arise. Why couldn't Bella just be confident and go after what she wants? I'd thought about this and maybe the reason is that she didn't want me. She'd told me this once, but then she said she lied. All these things kept running through my mind in a loop. But, I wasn't like her. I would be by her side until she ordered me away...for real. Not because she thought it would be better for me - believe me, I wouldn't be happy unless I was with her - but because she found something else she wanted.
In the morning, I would make Bella talk to me. Then maybe we could be the happily engaged couple we were before I left. I left. Ugh! That was what caused this change in her behavior. If I had been here I would know what's going on with her and I'd be able to help her.
Thunk!
A loud noise from what sounded like the living room pulled me from my thoughts. I heard someone swear loudly. I looked at the clock. It was 5:30am. What would Bella be doing up now?
I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, not bother ing to button them, and left the spare bedroom. The sight before me broke my heart... Bella was sitting on the floor, clothes strewn around her, with her knees to her chest crying.
"Bella!" I gasped. I was quickly kneeling next to her cradleing her agasint my chest. Her tears hit my bare chest. "Shh...baby, just tell me what's wrong. Shh...I'm here for you babe." I cooed to her as I rocked us back and forth.
"I...d-don't wan-t t-to talk ab-bout it." She managed to say within her hysterical sobbing.
"Shh...okay, we don't have to talk about it." I picked her up in my arms and carried her to the master bedroom. I set her down on the bed and covered her up. I sat up against the headboard beside her and held her against my chest murmuring reassurances all the while. It must've been 7am before Bella fell asleep. I kissed her forehead, lingering for a while, before getting up. I picked up her clothes and suitcase. What was she doing with this stuff anyway? Then I found the note on the coffee table...
Edward,
I'm sorry...I seem to be saying that a lot lately, but I don't know what else to say. I know you might think of me as stupif for leaving and being so much of a tease. I'm sorry for that, too. I don't know where I'll be going or how long I'll be gone. Just do me a favor. Forget about me and be happy. It's the last thing I can ask for.
~Bella
What the hell?
~Bella's point of view~
I couldn't even leave my own home without screwing it up!
Now I was lying in bed, faking sleep. Why couldn't things just go back to normal? Why couldn't I just be a normal fiance' like I was before? Why did that fuckhead James have to mess with me? Why did he let me live this misery?
Edward came crashing through the bedroom door causing me to let out a short scream. He was holding the note I wrote in his hand. "What the hell is this Bella? It sounds like a fucking suicide note!" He sat down on the bed beside me, droping the note to the floor. He grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him. There were tears in his eyes. "What is that Bella?" He nodded his head toward the note on the floor. "Is it...suicide?"
I fought with myself for a while before deciding on what I was really thinking when I wrote it. "Yes." I mumbled.
This story is getting very depressing...but I assure you, it's going to brighten up soon. Yeah, right after the shit hits the fan. ;)
Review please!!!
~Kelli(jellyjo2014)
