A/N- Happy Halloween my little Ghoulies! KimberleyCullen helped me with this chapter. Big thanks to her! XD
Now you only have yourself to blame
For playing all those stupid games
You're always going to be the same
Oh no, you'll never change
Undo It – Carrie Underwood.
Bella.
There are only so many times you can read out-of-date magazines that the hospital provides before going mentally insane. I've read about the Kardashian family so much, I've practically become one. Shivers –my worst nightmare has come true. I have been here for eight hours (give or take) granted, I've slept for a large chunk of that time, and it was at least an hour or so talking to doctors about this mornings' fall, but the remainder of the time, reading about Kardashian make-ups, break-ups and nip-and-tucks – ooft, I would rather be at school. With Edward – who has failed to show. Fortunately nothing dreadful has happened. My baby's cocoon that it currently lives in prevented any bumps or bruises from occurring; I just have to be on bed rest for the remainder of the week, but I can deal with that. So it's not a major issue for Edward to be here, but it would have been nice to see that he cares… a little bit… even though he denies the fact.
Dr Cullen has informed me not to do any strenuous activities or get myself too worked up – I shall stick to his rules and forget about his bastard of a son (no offence) and get on with my life without any disturbance from him. I only pray to God that my child does not inherit his fathers' behaviour genes. Seriously, I could not handle that. Next time I see Dr Cullen and his wife, I should give them a pat on the back – raising a shit like that and no grey hair can be seen on their head. It's unbelievable.
Anyhow, the time on the clock ahead of me, said four-thirteen – a.k.a. visiting hour. Charlie had been with me for the majority of the morning, so he was back at work now. I just wonder if anyone is worried for me and want to come and see me… school has been let out for the day as well.
Five minutes later, I'm still wondering the same question.
Then, just as the time reached four-twenty-eight, someone tapped lightly on the glass panel on the door. I called them in and smiled instantly when Alice poked her little head around the wood. She asked if she could come in then skipped on her tip-toes with an ecstatic grin.
"How are you, my lovely? I've been so worried!" Alice carefully wrapped her arms around my neck before dragging a seat over to my bed and plonking her little ass on it.
"I'm fine – shaken up and a bit sensitive, but the baby is fine which is the most important thing."
She nodded her head as she took in my words. "I'm sorry it took me this long to get here; I had to find someone to give me a lift – Edward pissed off before lunch."
This shouldn't surprise me, but it did. Was I the reason he left? "Oh really. Do you know why?"
"He came to see you… but they turned him away." Alice looked genuinely upset for her brother. And I felt… I felt really bad. I had said that he didn't care, but he must care enough to come and see me. I just don't understand why they would turn him away when it was his child in jeopardy. He has every right to make sure I was okay if that is what he wanted.
"Why did they turn him away?"
"I asked my dad when I arrived; he said that you didn't want anyone coming to see you apart from your dad."
What?
"Er… I never said that. And even if I didn't want anyone to visit, I would have made an exception for Edward."
"Yeah, I thought it was weird. Especially as he told me to which room you were in."
"So… you think your dad lied and told Edward he couldn't go through even when he could?"
Alice shrugged. "Maybe, but it's not the sort of thing my dad would have done. I don't know." She shrugged again.
I couldn't seem to get the guilt and terrible feeling away from my heart. "Alice, could you tell him that I didn't say that? I don't want Edward to think that I'm butting him out, especially after making that effort."
"Yeah, of course I will."
"Thank you."
As visiting time came to an end, we said our goodbyes and Alice made a quick exit, saying something how she was going to be late for a gymnastics class.
Luckily for me, I didn't have long before Charlie came back from work and Dr Cullen announced that as long as I stuck to his rules and became the laziest person in Forks, then I could go home. I winced in pain when rising from the bed and shuffling over to the wheelchair Charlie brought through. Dr Cullen told me that after the potentially dangerous fall, I will be sore and tender for a day or two, but things will calm down and get back to normal with my week in bed.
Woo.
*Fist pump*
When I got home, I noticed that my father had been a little sweetheart. Our couch can unfold into a double bed, which Charlie had done and brought down my bed sheets etc. as well as a large supply of books that I had scattered around my room.
"I don't want you to have to deal with stairs or long walks to get anything when I'm out of the house. So I've brought your bedroom downstairs."
"Aw dad, you didn't have to."
"I would break the rules as a father if I didn't look after your every need. Just remember that for when your little one is born – you might not have to do something, but if it concerns them, then you will."
xxx
The evening wasn't that bad – Dad ordered in a pizza and he watched some crap on TV as I read a book. I could see Charlie falling asleep in his armchair – his head would fall forward then whip straight up in shock. It didn't take much to get Charlie upstairs, which left me with a night on my own. The TV didn't hold much interest, so that was quickly turned off along with all the lights apart from the side light that lit my book. I made up a mental deadline – finish to the end of chapter twenty-two then put the book down. I'll have you know I stuck to that deadline, and put the book away like a good girl.
Sitting with my favourite cushion under my right arm, I stared at the bulge underneath my Forks Spartans gym shirt. Even now, nearly seven months along the pregnancy, I still can't believe what it all means. That in just a couple of months, I will be a mother and someone's life will literally depend on me! It's weird to think that twenty leagues under the sea, or, to put it differently, below all those layers of skin and other shit, is a baby. A close-to-fully-formed baby. It can hear everything I'm saying right now, but will never have any memory of it.
What scares me is in a week or so, I could have this baby and it would have a fairly high chance of survival. The tiny skin cells seven months ago, have now formed into a living and breathing human being. Baby Swan has ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes and a nose. Two lungs, two feet, two hands and a heart. Blood is pumping around its body as I think. It has a brain which it will be using just as much as we use ours. I wonder if it writes a journal like Stewie did in Family Guy.
"Day one-seventy-one: I've sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, I'm up to eleven."
See if my child turns out like Stewie Griffin, I might just have to show him off to the world. Just as long as he doesn't wish to kill me. And if he comes out with a head the shape of an American Football, I'll blame Edward.
xxx
I don't get much sleep that evening – I'm so used to the quality of my mattress, it's nothing like what I'm sitting on now. I barely take notice of Charlie waking me up, telling me goodbye and leaving for work. I'm asleep again in a matter of seconds.
Someone chapping at my door and ringing the bell continuously brings me out of whichever dream I had been living. Lifting myself off the bed, I shuffle towards the noise. Glancing at the kitchen clock on my way past - it was nearing ten o'clock.
"Who is it?" At least then, if it isn't anyone important, I won't have to use up all my energy unlocking the door, opening it, telling them to piss off, closing the door, locking it again – call me lazy, but I'm in pain, man!
"It's me. It's… its Edward." Now this is a surprise. "I came to see how you are."
I genuinely felt bad after hearing that he got turned away from seeing me yesterday. It's sweet that he came over this morning to see me. I find my set of keys in the bowl beside the door and allow Edward inside without thinking over any positives or negatives in this situation. He takes in how tired I look the scruffy clothes I'm wearing and then the hand that is supporting my back.
"Honestly Bella, how are you feeling?" I can't remember the last time he had sounded this concerned over me. It could very well be a sign that he's changing – becoming a person with more morals set for themselves and a son their parents should be proud of - a person who is slowly becoming a father. But I don't want to get my hopes up too high; some people either don't or just cannot change.
"I'm sore and tired, but I'll be as good as new in a couple days." Edward nods slowly with a sincere look on his face. "Do you want to come and sit down?"
"Thanks that would be great." Shuffling backwards, Edward slips inside and looks around my tiny house as I shut the door. This two bedroomed house is nothing like his mansion which has a probable amount of ten bedrooms and then some.
"You've got a lovely place here," He comments, looking at a photo of me as a baby and smiling slightly. I couldn't get my head around his sudden transformation. Only a couple of days ago, he didn't want anything to do with me and certainly wouldn't come into my house and praise me for its looks.
"Thank you. I… erm… it's… er… would you like something to drink?"
Brilliant Bella – great way to change the subject. No-one has ever used that before.
"Sounds great. Why don't you sit down and I'll bring the drinks through? Would you like something?"
Yeah, seriously, someone pinch me.
This shit just doesn't make sense!
Who are you and what have you done with the egotistical, I'm-so-much-better-than-everyone-else asshole that I'm used to?
"Just… just water would be fine." Edward asks if I need any help getting back to my couch, after I tell him I'll be fine, he offers me another smile and heads to the kitchen. I listen in amusement to various cupboards being opened, drawers opening and closing and then the tap being pushed backwards instead of pulled forward and a ferocious amount of water hitting the sink and probably drenching Edward.
I'm spot on; I see that the front of his shirt is soaking wet when he passes me the mug of water.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't find any glasses." He admits sheepishly, finding a seat to sit on.
"A mug is just as good."
We take awkward sips from our mugs.
"Okay, tell me, why are you acting so differently all of a sudden?"
Leaning forward in the chair, Edward messed up his hair with his hands, took a deep breath then sat up straight again. I could tell he was anxious to speak, but after a short while, he found the strength to talk.
"I was speaking to Esme yesterday, and it made me realise how… valuable life can be… and…" Edward began to stutter and it became obvious that he was struggling to complete his sentence.
"Can I… can I quickly say something?"
"Sure, you'll probably do a better job than me."
"I wanted to ask, honestly, how did you feel when you found out I was in the hospital?"
"I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat anything. When Alice told me, I wasn't really affected…" I should be offended by that, but something made him change, so I can't put his first instincts against him. "…I didn't see why I had to go anywhere, but during the day, I couldn't help but think over the possibilities of what could happen. It scared me… I was suddenly saddened by the fact that there was a chance that I wouldn't have someone calling me daddy, and I wouldn't see their first steps, and so on and so on…"
I brushed back the tears dripping down my cheeks. Edward didn't see how his words had affected me, because he had been looking at his shoes since he first muttered a word.
"So… you realised that you do care for this baby?"
"I guess so… after talking with Esme and all the feelings that I felt yesterday, it's made sense to me. So I want to apologise Bella, for acting like an ass and for saying the things that I said. I fully understand why you didn't want me at the hospital yesterday, and I'm very grateful that you allowed me to talk to you today."
"The truth is, I never said that you couldn't go and see me yesterday, someone else said that behind my back."
"What? I bet it was that fucking fat Pat at reception. I knew she hated me."
"Edward, we don't know who it was. But it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you've realised that you do care for our baby and that is a huge step to take."
"I just hope you can accept my apology and that you'll allow me to see him or her when they're born…?"
Aw! He looks so cute; you just want to give him a cuddle.
"I could never keep you away from your child, even if we fought like cat and dog, if you wanted a day together, I wouldn't stop that."
Edward smiled sincerely. "Thank you," he whispered.
"But we have to sick by some rules."
He looked a little scared now. "…Okay…"
"Rule number one: smoking. I'm not asking for you to quit altogether. But I don't want you to smoke around me before the birth and never around the baby when it's born. Is that okay?"
"Yeah absolutely, I wouldn't have done that anyway."
"Rule number two: language. You have quite a colourful language which they could pick up. I really wouldn't appreciate being called a dickhead by my toddler."
"Ah, really? Come on, we can be cool parents." I couldn't help by smile at his joke. "In that case," he began, "I have a rule for you."
"Okay."
"I'm going to mess up at some point – we all will – so I don't want you to shout your head off at me or make a threat to turn my balls into a pair of earrings."
"Deal. So now that we have – ow!"
Edward sat quickly forward in his seat. "Are you okay?"
Bringing up the front of my shirt, I poked my belly button "Wanna calm down in there? Mummy isn't a football."
"Is it kicking?"
"Yeah… oh… he doesn't want to stop." I looked up at Edward; his eyes were full of amazement as he stared at my belly. "Do you want to feel it?"
"Er… can I?"
"Of course! Come, sit here." I patted the space next to me and waited for Edward to move over. When he had, I grabbed his left hand and placed it just under my belly. His eyes grew wide and so did the smile on his face. We sat here, with our hands together, feeling the feet of our baby pounding against me.
A/N – Aw, how cute. But will Edward stay this way? We'll just have to see. I'm thinking of having another 2 chapters being pregnant, and then the fun and games can begin.
Do you know what I'm doing tonight? Going to Katy Perry's CALIFORNIA DREAMS TOUR! Aaah! Glasgow will be wild, tonight! If you follow me on Twitter, you can see the pictures that I'll upload :D
Hope you liked the chapter, leave your love!
RosieRathbone x
