Watching The Blind Side. It's a great movie! Anywho...nothing else to put here.
See y'all at the bottom!
Chapter 20: Ready
Edward came crashing through the door causing me to let out a short scream. He was holding the note I wrote in his hand. "What the hell is this, Bella? It sounds like a fucking suicide note!" He sat down on the bed beside me ,dropping the note to the floor. He grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him. There were tears in his eyes. "What is that, Bella?" He nodded his head toward the note on the foor. "Is it...suicide?"
I fought with myself for a while before deciding on what I was really thinking when I wrote it. "Yes." I mumbled.
Edward broke down. He pulled me to his chest and cried...we both did. "Bella..." He sighed, holding me at arms length. "What's wrong? What happened that was so bad it made you want to k-...leave me?"
I sighed...this was it. I couldn't see Edward in so much pain. I'd tell him what James did, he'd realize that I was condemed, he'd leave me. I took a deep breath. "I was..." Edward was patient with me. He rubbed my arm and told me it was going to be okay. "I...was raped." I turned my head and pulled away from him so we weren't touching in anyway.
He didn't move at all.
~A more than furious Edward's point of view~
"I...was raped." Bella whispered. She pulled away from me completely.
I was furious. Who in their right mind would think that they would - let alone could - have a chance in hell at touching my Bella? I felt my pulse speed up. This explained so much. The thought of how much I didn't want this to be the reason for Bella's behavior made my head pound. Images of random men thouching my Bella flashed through my head. My fists clenched and I felt myself beginning to shake with anger. I jumped up from the bed and started pacing the room. "Who is this fucker?" I almost shouted. I was ready to beat the living piss out of him.
When she didn't answer. I looked to her and she was staring at me, tears staining her face, and her mouth slightly ajar. "What's the matter, Bella?" I snapped, though I didn't mean to.
"E-Edward. Please, just...calm down." She looked away from me again.
I immedeatly felt like an ass. What if she was hurt...like physically? I didn't even stop to think about this. Mostly because I was afraid of the answer. What if this prick had done serious damage? I hadn't even asked her... God Cullen! You're such an idiot!
I slowly sat down on the bed beside her. I took her hand in mine. "Bella...did...did he hurt you? Have you gone to see a doctor?" I found myself tearing up again. I really didn't want to know this answer...but at the same time I really did want to know. It was confusing.
I watched as Bella shook her head. "Is that, no he didn't hurt you or no you didn't see a doctor?" I didn't notice that I was scooting closer to her eager for answers until she put her hand on my chest and pushed me back a little.
"No to both." she mumbled in barely a whisper. My heart ached. My Bella, my angel, was in this situation. Why hadn't she talked to anyone? Why hadn't she gone to a doctor? There were so many questions and I wasn't sure if she was wanting to answer them right now.
She must've read my thoughts. "Edward. If you're willing, I will tell you everything." She still looked at her hands.
~A nervous and surprisingly couragous Bella's point of view~
I don't know where the courage to tell Edward, let alone anyone, about what James did to me came from. I just knew that I was ready. When Edward didn't freak out...well, not too bad...and leave me, I thought it might be best to tell him everything. I just couldn't look at him yet. I was still waiting for that moment when Edward realized I wasn't acceptable anymore. I was waiting for him to stand up and say "Bella, you're not right anymore. You're repulsive and disgusting. I don't care whose fault it was. I can't be with you anymore knowing that another man has touched you." And that's when he walks out, leaving me behind.
So, I decided to tell him. I still looked at my hands though. "Edward. If you're willing, I will tell you everything."
Edward looked at me for a few seconds, jaw set, eyes red. He sat straight up and said, "Just tell me everything, Bella. I promise I won't judge you."
I took a deep breath to steady myself...psh! Like that's gonna happen!... And I began. "After I dropped you off at the airport..." Edward let me talk uninterupted. Whenever I would get to a difficult part he wouldn't touch me, but he would tell me to take my time and assure me that he was listening. When I got to the part about James coming into the room, Edward closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing and his fists were clenched. Why did he act like that? "...and that's how we got here." I let out a long breath.
Edward sat there staring intently at a spot on the wall. I could see his temper rising.
"Edward, say something...please?" I begged softly.
Before I got my sentece out completely, Edward jumped up and kicked the closet door so hard his foot went completely through it. It would'n've surprised me and caused me to yelp...had to door not been made of solid oak. He raised a hole through the wall but I jumped up and put my hand on his shoulder. He immediatly stopped, his arm slowly coming down. "Edward, breaking the apartment isn't going to fix anything."
He turned around to face me. I saw that he was crying. "Bella...if I was here, if I hadn't gone to New York, that...lowlife, would'n've gotten near you." He slowly put his hands around my waist. This time I didn't flinch. It was Edward's embrace. It wasn't foreign at all. It was what I had missed. But...had he missed it? Was he only hugging me out of pity?
But no matter what. He would not play the blame game. "There was nothing you could do about it. I should've been more careful. I should've taken someone with me." I found my voice beginning to fail so I stopped talking. Edward tried to protest but I covered his mouth with my hand. "If you're just going to tell me that it's not my fault and that it's yours, then I don't want to hear it. I just want to hear your thoughts on what you want to do. Where do you want to go from here?"
I stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed...waiting.
I've realized that I can't write a chapter a little bit at a time. I sort of got stuck with this one. Bella's couragousness keeps changing faster than a hiccup. If y'all want me to rewrite this chapter, I will. Just say the word.
Please review!!
~Kelli(jellyjo2014)
