*IMPORTANT!* There is one part in this chapter, I'm not going to tell you which one, but it is a real event and happened to someone in real life – You'll figure it out when you get to it.
I've never been the kind to let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes, tonight I wanna cry
Tonight I Wanna Cry – Keith Urban
Bella.
Vvv… Vvv… Vvvv…
Nooo… leave me alone, Aliiiice…
Only Alice would ring you at the crack of dawn – doesn't even consider whether you are awake or not.
Vvv…Vvv…Vvvv…
She is a consistent little bitch.
Ding-a-ling!
I moaned as I stretched my arm over my large belly and reached to the night stand to grab my phone. I could check her text messages; I just need to read the thing then get back to sleep – not suffer half an hour of chat. Also, if she is ringing urgently, she would probably say so in the message.
Isabella, I know you are awake. And I know you won't turn your phone off – Charlie told me his new rule for you – thank him for me ;)
Argh Dad, see you – blabbering off to Alice about your new protection. As soon as I became so far along my pregnancy, I practically became disabled; he made me sleep with my phone on and on loud. Because if I'm in danger for some reason, I won't have the time to wait for it to turn on etc. and it needs to be on loud just so that I can hear it when someone contacts me.
But not right now! And now that Alice knows about it, I don't have the excuse that I didn't have my phone turned on. And I'm such a light sleeper right now, that she knows it would wake me up.
Ding-a-ling!
Oh for sweet Jesus sakes.
You know I'm just going to keep ringing and texting if you don't answer…
Ding-a-ling!
Heheh XD I love you really, Bell. But for reals, answer yo phone, bitch! I needs to talk to you, like, yesterday!
It started to vibrate in my hands as I read the message.
Alright! Alright! I'm up!
"What?"
"Oooh!" Her peppy voice filled my ear – not the way you want to wake up. "Who's stolen your cookie?"
"Um… you. What is it that you needed to tell me?"
"Oh! Yes! I nearly forgot!"
Yeah, of course you did Al'.
"Guess what Edward is doing, right now."
"To be honest, I don't really care."
"Aw come on, Bells! You need to lighten up a bit. Soon, you'll be waking at all hours in the morning and you have to bite back that scream. So use now to practise. Anyway, Edward is sitting at his desk…"
"Oh, my God. Sitting at his desk? What a rebel."
"Shut up, Bella. He is sitting at his desk with two pieces of paper; one side says 'boys' the other says 'girls'. He's been thinking of baby names for ages! How cute is that? Yes, I admit he woke up quite late…"
"Quite late? Dude, it's barely seven in the morning."
"I've been up for nearly an hour. And that was with a lie-in!"
I wouldn't even doubt that she has.
"Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if he is over at your house before one o'clock."
I yawned and adjusted the way I lay in bed; becoming a little more awake with every second. "Well I haven't got any plans for today, so you can tell him that he can come over any time after ten."
"Okay! I've got to run – I'm going to Jaspers' at nine and I'm barely ready!"
"Oh no. Two hours? I feel your pain, love."
"Shut up, you sarcastic little shit!"
I threw my head back and laughed loudly. "I'll let you go. See you later?"
"Of course. Byee!"
Calculating the time, I turned over and went back to sleep for another hour.
xxx
Edward arrived at exactly half-past eleven. Alice is right, he looked way to chipper for a Sunday morning and way too chipper for Edward in general. He did indeed have that piece of paper with him – rolled up and placed under his arm. Because of the freezing temperatures outside, he had a dark blue beanie covering his hair, apart from a flicky fringe that stuck out the front, a black jacket zipped all the way up and a black scarf tied around his neck and tucked inside the jTeaacket.
I'm not going to lie, he looked adorable as hell.
I took the paper from him, so that he could take off his extra layers, and waddled through to put it on the kitchen table. "Would you like a hot drink?" I called through, peering around the wall to watch Edward stamp out the snow that lined his boots. He toed them off, stuck them beside my welly boots and hung his jacket and scarf on an empty peg on the coat rack.
"Some tea would be amazing, thank you."
Walking to the tea and coffee cupboard, I reached onto tip-toes and checked out my supplies. "Right… I have cranberry, raspberry and elderflower or pink grapefruit, mandarin and lime."
Edward chuckled lightly behind me. "I guess normal tea doesn't happen in this house?"
I turned my head around to smirk at him, "normal tea? Who does that shit? And this stuff is imported from the UK, so you should be happy that I'm allowing you to have some."
You cannot beat a good cup of Twinings tea.
"In that case, I'll have a cup of the grapefruit one."
"Pink grapefruit, mandarin and lime? Got it." I flicked the kettle on, and we both stood in silence, listening to the water slowly boil away. To busy myself, I grabbed two mugs and two teabag packets. Tearing the paper of the packet, I dangled the teabag by the string and dropped one into each mug. I had that familiar sensation filling my stomach, so with that, I went to the cupboard to my right and went on a hunt for some chocolate or something sweet.
"Care for a Kit Kat?"
"Ooh, please!" You could just tell that Edward's eyes lit up when the Kit Kats were mentioned. I passed him over two packets and said that he could go and sit in the living room and that I would be through in a second. He took his rolled up paper as he left.
The kettle clicked off shortly after I took a spoon from the drawer and had it sitting between the mugs. When I went back through to join Edward, I noticed something missing from the chair I usually sat in. "Aw bollocks, I left my pillow upstairs." Sitting the mugs on two separate coasters, I mentioned that I would be two minutes and went to go upstairs.
"I can get if for you if you want? Saves you trekking up those stairs."
"Would you mind?" It's not that I didn't want to be an inconvenience, but more that after bending becoming a trouble I haven't really kept my room as tidy as it should be – it's quite embarrassing to be honest.
"No, of course not. What does it look like?"
"It is cream coloured and an odd 'U' shape; it's a pregnancy pillow to give me comfort when sitting up and sleeping etc."
"Right, be right back."
"Thank you!" I called as he half walked, half ran up the stairs. "It should be just on my bed and my room is first door on the left!"
If there is a God up there, please, don't let there be any dirty underwear lying about…
I have mentioned this before, but I'm going to say it again: I really love this kind of Edward. It's weird to think that the same person who, today, has been nothing but gracious and polite, had been a complete ass yesterday and for a few weeks prior. I just hope he stays this way once the baby is born.
Edward returned ten times quicker than I would have done – I would have still been walking up there. He passed it over and even offered to help me adjust it. My God, I'm seriously confused with this new Edward that has arrived. After some twists and sitting-ups, I had it nestled around me, just to offer my back some support when I sat down.
Right, time to get down to business.
"I've had an idea…" Edward begun, slowly unrolling the paper that had been squashed between his knees. "I found out only a few short weeks back, that I was meant to have another brother, older than Emmett, but unfortunately he never made it to this world—
Oh, my goodness. That is so sad! I can't even begin to think what Esme and Carlisle must have gone through. Well, I kind of have a small understanding because I'm a mother (to be) myself, but it will have been worse than anyone could describe. Why is the world such a cruel place sometimes?
"—and I heard that his name was going to be Dale, so I was wondering whether it would be okay to make that the middle name if the baby is a boy?"
Aw, that is so cute. What a lovely thing to do in memory of his brother.
"Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry. Absolutely – I have no objections whatsoever."
"Emmett's middle name is Dale, but I think it would fit nicely – their first son… my first son…"
Aaaaw! I actually think I am about to cry.
Wait, no, not think. I have definite tears in my eyes right now.
Hearing Edward say 'my first son' and the first time I've properly heard him mark the baby as his is so heart-warming. I have never felt so happy hearing somebody say three simple words.
"That is a lovely name – I hadn't even thought of middle names, so at least we only need to think of one for a girl now."
xxx
I can now see why people opt for the baby name books – this is hard! It's been an hour since we started saying the first name that popped into our heads, but still nothing has stuck. I've even gone through a list of celebrity names because I've run out of anything else.
"Katy? Spelt either 'ty' or 'tie'?" Edward looked around the room slowly and chewed on one of his nails in thought.
"Yeah… I like that one."
I sighed loudly and ran my hand through my long hair. "That has been the answer for all of them."
"Hey! I didn't say I liked 'Beyonce' or 'Madonna'."
"But would we have seriously called our daughter one of those names? No, I don't think so."
"What about…" Edward stared down at his lap, and then looked up to meet my gaze, "Indie?"
"Mmm, I don't know – it doesn't seem to click."
We were like this for another twenty or so minutes, munching our way through another two Kit Kats each and another cup of tea. Why is naming a baby so hard?
"Right, I have a plan." Edward suddenly announced. "Why don't you think of a book or a series of books and go through the characters from them?"
"That might work…" I mused, "why don't you say a book you've read and the chances are that I've read them too, at least then we're in the same boat."
"Um…" Edward played with his hands awkwardly. "I've only read one series…"
Seriously? But, reading is the best thing ever invented! To each their own I guess.
"And which serious had that been?"
"Harry Potter…" He sounded so embarrassed when he spoke.
"Hey! Harry Potter is the reason some people started reading. It is a fantastic series and you should feel proud that you experienced the fantastic writing Rowling introduced to us."
"But could you pick a name from the characters in that?"
Probably not… but it's worth a try. "Well, we have Harry, Ron, Hermione, Lily, James…"
"Tom. So, we're practically naming our son Voldemort, but no-one else needs to know that."
"Exactly! Er… Fred or George!"
Edward laughed quietly. "I can't believe we're genuinely considering Harry Potter names. Hell, we should just add Dumbledore to the list of options."
"Or Bellatrix."
"At least she would be named after her mother."
I shot Edward a faux evil smile. "Why thank you."
"It's alright. What about… Luna."
"Or Ginny," I don't know whether we were taking this seriously anymore, or just saying the first Harry Potter name that we came too.
"Cedric. Actually, he died, so it could be a cursed name." I think Edward is taking it seriously…
"Oh, my God, we should name our son Hagrid!"
"Bella, come on, take this seriously."
"I am!" Edward gave me a knowing look. "Alright fine, maybe I wasn't then. Fine… how about… Draco."
"Bella…"
"No genuinely. Think about it… Draco Dale Cullen…" We both thought for a minute then smiled at each other. "It's quite good, eh?"
"It certainly works well with Dale, and it does have a ring to it funnily enough. I bet you won't find many boys with that name either, so it will be unique in its own special way."
I couldn't keep the smiles off my face and my feet kept bouncing. "Have we decided then? If it's a boy we are to name him Draco Dale?"
Edward thought long and hard, he continuously ran his hands over his head and rubbing his neck. "I don't want to regret the name we choose, but I don't think we would. I truly believe that Draco is a name that we should call our son."
And again with the sweet words and tears…
"And if it is a girl? I really like the name Lily."
"Hmm… what is your middle name?"
"Marie."
"Little Lily Marie Cullen…"
I covered my face with my hands, smiling wildly, but no-one could see. My grandmother had been called Marie, and if my daughter takes that name too, Marie will have been brought through generations and generations.
"Draco Dale and Lily Marie. Have we made our decision?"
"I think we have."
2 weeks later.
Edward.
"Gavilaaa!" Emmett cried as I entered the house.
"Smithstaaa!" I replied. We met each other by the front door and began doing a few robot moves to finish off our introduction.
"Oh dear God, you two have watched far too much 'Gavin and Stacey' recently, it's not even a joke anymore."
"You regret showing it to us now, don't you Alice?"
"Yup."
A few days ago, Alice made us sit down and watch a British TV show she had been watching online. At first, we didn't see the attraction, but now, we can't seem to get enough of it. We even went onto Amazon and ordered the DVD's. That is how obsessed we have become recently. Emmett has even attempted the Welsh accent, but it sounded like a mix between Indian and American.
"I have the new Call of Duty game, fancy a go or two?" Emmett thumbed towards the games room.
"I need to take a shit, but I will join you when the tanks are clear."
"Eew! Why are guys so disgusting?" Alice walked back through from the kitchen with some toast in her hand. She grimaced down at her snack. "Thanks Edward, you've really put me off my toast now."
Emmett's eyes widened at the sign of free food. "Well if you're not going to have it…" He tried to leap forward and swipe it from her hand but Alice moved away just in time.
"Ooh no. If you want something to eat go and make it yourself, you lazy ass."
Emmett sulked off to the games room. "No-one cares about me!" He pretended to sob and cry as he walked.
I love it when he's home; the pranks we pull on Alice are legendary. It has been the same since we were little, and I doubt it will end any time soon.
The phone started to ring as I made my way to the bathroom, I heard Alice shout that she will get it. It must have been, like, ten seconds into her phone call when Alice shrieked and screamed my name. "Edward! You need to get to the hospital, now! Bella's waters have broken!"
"What? It's not due for another four days!"
"Who cares? The baby is coming now! Go!"
My mind seemed to go into over-drive. I ran down the stairs, missing a stair as I leaped down them, grabbed my jacket and keys from where I had dumped them and flew out the house. I unlocked my car as I ran across the gravel and waited until I started to drive till I strapped in. The only thing on my mind right now is Bella and our baby and that I had to get there as soon as possible. We probably have hours before the delivery process properly starts, but I didn't want to waste a second.
I knew dad was at work at the moment, so he must have rung when Bella arrived at the hospital. I felt a little annoyed that she didn't inform me before she went there, but I'm starting to realise that she would have been as stressed as I am now – if not even more – so I'll let her off.
Unfortunately, it was that terrible time of day when everyone is trying to head home from work and so the traffic leading back into Forks and en route to the hospital was ridiculous. I wish I had some sort of siren so I could blare it and inform all of those around me that I was in a rush. But I knew that wouldn't and couldn't happen, so I just had to sit tightly and wait my turn…
xxx
"Bella? Are you okay?" She is lying on her side and cradling her arms around her stomach.
She shook her head slightly and winced, her toes tensed at the pain. "No. It hurts… Edward, I can't do this."
I pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and placed a gentle hand on her forehead. "Yes, yes you can Bella. Just think, soon all of this will be over with and you'll have a tiny baby in your arms…"
I had hoped that my words would calm her, but it seemed as though she didn't even take them in. "Your hands are really cold… it's nice." With that being said, I pressed my palm over her cheek and forehead in turn, doing my best to soothe her.
As the contractions grew closer and closer, and more unbearable, I would swap sides and rub her back whilst whispering comforting words.
With time, family and friends came to see how we were getting on and brought us some drinks to keep us hydrated and to top up our energy levels.
Surprisingly enough, Bella kept us laughing - saying that she was worried to go to the toilet in case she gave birth whilst doing a pee.
"That would be one large shit…" Emmett muttered, but we all heard him.
It was closing in on eleven at night. We had made everyone else go home and get some sleep and we promised to ring the second the baby was born. I don't think most of them wanted to be witnessing the birth anyway. I heard it's not the prettiest of things to watch.
It wasn't long after one in the morning when nurses announced that Bella should start to push. She squeezed my hand tight with excitement and also with fear of what she was about to do. But we still had smiles on our faces.
"Okay Bella… when your next contraction hits…" Before I knew it, Bella's face scrunched up and turned beat red as she pushed as hard as she could.
"That's it, you can do it," the words left me without even thinking through them first. "I'm here, Bella. You're doing so well."
The nurses allowed her to rest for a quick second to regain some energy and have a breather. Bella closed her eyes and breathed deeply in and out. Her hair is all sweaty and clinging together on the top of her head, but it didn't stop me from rubbing my hand down it.
"Okay, are you ready to try again?"
"Hang on… one second." After some more deep breaths, Bella announced that she was ready to push again and we all went back to our positions.
"One… two… three and four…" I listened to the nurses counting her push and watched Bella lie back as far as she could.
And then, all of a sudden, her tensed face relaxed in a split second.
I thought she had done it and the room would have been filled with a high-pitched cry.
But I was wrong.
The only thing filling the room was the concerned voices of the nurses.
"Bella…?"
What the fuck is going on?
"BP is dropping…"
What the hell does that mean?
Somebody tell me!
"Bella… come on, stop playing around!" I didn't realised I had screamed that before a nurse touched my shoulders and asked me to stand out of the way. "No! What's happening? What is going on?"
"Please, you need to stand back so the doctor can get through."
"Doctor? What… what's happening? Tell me!"
"Her blood pressure is dropping rapidly, but that is no reason to get upset."
"How can you say that? How can you say that?" I rubbed my hands roughly down my face and stared in shock as I felt that my eyes were damp. I was crying. For the first time in fucking months, I'm crying.
"And… and what about the baby?"
"Unfortunately, if the mother's blood pressure is at risk, the baby's is also."
No…
Please, this can't be happening to me.
Somebody has to do something!
The nurse that took me away from Bella had sat me down on a seat. I couldn't do anything but stare as they rushed around, speaking medical speak, they all sounded as worried as each other.
You can't do this to me, Bella. You just can't!
What if Draco or Lily survives and you don't?
How am I going to cope?
You can't leave me!
Please…
I can't do this without you.
As I sobbed into my hands, I heard words that chilled my blood.
"Crashing…"
I knew as soon as that word had been spoken, that my life had ended.
My little family has gone…
