A/N: Thank you for reading, reviewing, alerting and favoring this story. Here's chapter 3, hope you enjoy it. I apologize for all spelling and grammar mistakes. ENJOY!
Title: Room 920
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Drama
Chapter: 3 of 5
Pairing: Mark/Lexie
Summary: Every year on this day, Lexie finds herself at the Archfield Hotel in room 920. The room where she fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love. For the last three years she's been there by herself, but not this year she has company.(Set after episode 8x21). OOC, A/U
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy and its characters.
Lexie guttered down on her lower lip, she was sure whether to tell him the truth. Would he see her as pathetic and weak? Would he judge her?. Mark could see her internal turmoil, but he really wanted to know the truth.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want Lex, but don't you think I deserve to know the truth especially after I just got emotionally naked with you".
She decided to throw caution out the wind, Derek had encouraged her to talk to Mark and tell him how she felt. Maybe this was her opportunity and maybe her last chance to salvage any kind of relationship with him. She owed him that at least after his confession.
"I love you Mark, not just love but am in love with you. I have always been and I will always be in love with you. I tried not to be but I can't. The love I feel for you is the all consuming type of love. Am not just in love with you, I miss you Mark. Every second of every single day I miss you. I long and yearn for you that its borderline insanity.
I come here every year because, it is this room that I fell in love for the first time in my life. I gave my heart to you and I never got it back. Regardless of the pain that I have had to endure and the pain I have caused you, I feel safe and the dull arching in my chest is soothed by being here.
Three years ago today, you made love to me in this very room. That day you made me feel beautiful, I felt at peace with my life that day. I felt cared for, cherished and above all loved. You were so attentive with me, and that is the day I realized I was in irrevocably in love with you. And that scared me more than anything. I didn't understand how it was possible, I was only twenty-three and at that age you don't find your soul-mate, one's suppose to be chasing after the career dreams, experimenting and trying to find their footing in life. It scared me that at such a young age I felt that way for someone.
That is why at the first sign of trouble, I ran so fast that I didn't even hear the door close after me. I had a plan Mark, remember I had a ten-year plan that didn't include falling in love with my attending, estranged daughters, grandchildren and meddlesome gay/straight friends. It was all too much for me to take in.
Now when I reflect to that time in my life I regret leaving you. Am sorry I was too much of a coward to stick around and help you deal with the Sloane debacle as you put it. Beside me being scared, what also hurt was you making life altering decision without even talking to me. We were a team Mark, you should have come to me and told me how you felt.
Am not saying you are the only one with blame here, we both are to blame for how we handled ourselves back then. We should have talked about our fears and insecurities, instead of hopping into bed and getting into relationships with the wrong people.
And then when we got back together again, we should have talked Mark. You and I skip all the necessary stages in building a healthy and stable relationship. I have learnt that communication is one of the main keys to a successful relationship since then.
When Callie got pregnant you did it again, you made life altering decisions without considering me. What hurt the most with the Callie situation was that you thought it was your last chance at having a family. That hurt more than anything in this world, was I not your family Mark? Because you were my family. I became an after thought to you Mark.
The second time I walked out, it wasn't because I was scared. I walked out because this time I was hurt. I had accepted you the way you are Mark, flaws and all, I was willing to do anything to be with you, but you cut me out again. And it didn't seem to bother you at all. You went on with your life, like nothing had happened, that is why when Avery showed interest in me I just gave in. I became like you Mark, I put on a façade for everyone, smiled, laughter pretended to care when it was required.
But inwardly I was dying a slow and painful death. I became very good at hiding my emotions, but that day at the baseball game, the green-eyed monster reared his head and I couldn't control myself. Seeing you two kissing each other on the field broke me. It felt as though at every turn you were trying to rub your relationship with Julia in my face. For example that day in the OR with the conjoined twins, your conversation with Derek that ended up being about how everyone liked Julia. Even at Zola's party, how your best friend and her wife were gushing over her, about how good she was for you and Sophia, and how she completed your little family. At all that I died a little.
Jackson broke up with me because I think he finally saw through the façade and called me out on my bullshit. I would stand in the lobby and corridors and just stare at you longingly. I know it sounds creepy, but Mark am a fool in love.
I was there in the elevator that day you asked Derek about moving in with Julia and I was also there when you told him about Julia wanting to have a baby with you".
Mark looked at her with a shocked expression, he was shocked that she had heard him. The tears that were flowing freely on her face tugged his heart something fierce. He could see the pain in her eyes and he hated himself for being the one that put it there.
Although he knew that they both had messed up, Mark could now see things from Lexie's perspective. In some way he had allowed himself to see Lexie as the one who wasn't willing to compromise, but thinking about it now, what had he compromised on his part for their relationship. She was in pain and now he knew she had been for a very long time. As he seemingly moved on with his life, she was stuck in the same place because of the love she had for him.
"Am sorry Lexie" he said pulling her on to his lap. Lexie didn't protested, she had longed for this for a the longest time and if he wanted to hold her, she would let him. Even if it was only for a while.
"Am sorry too, Mark" she sniffled as she cuddled further into his arms.
"Aren't we quite the pair?" he teased tying to lighten up the mood. While he stroked her hair the way she liked it when she was hurt.
The last few hours had been emotionally draining and exhausting for both, so they just sat there on the couch holding each other like their were each others life line. Each lost in their own thoughts. Lexie stopped crying, but Mark didn't stop stroking her hair. It felt like old times for both, after a long day at work they would just come back to Mark's hotel room and cuddle.
"I want us to try Lexie" Mark said, once again breaking the long spell of silence that had once again settled in the room.
Lexie raised her head from the nook of his shoulder and looked at him with confusion written all over her face.
"What do you mean you 'want us to try'?"
"I know I have made a mess of things but I want to try fix them. I want us to try fix us, so that we could be together again Lex. I know it's a lot to ask especially after what we been through, but please give us one more chance. You and I being here today is not by coincidence, it has to be fate. You mentioned something about soul mates earlier, do you really believe that we are each others soul mate?".
Lexie looked at Mark as if he had grown a third eye on his forehead. She couldn't believe that he was really asking her for another chance. That he wanted to try again after everything that they have been through.
"Do really mean that Mark? That you want us to try. You can not just say that to me and then take it back later when we leave this room.
I would love nothing more than for us to try, but Mark it must be for the right reasons. Not because you want to an excuse to not be with Julia. You have to want to try because you love me and want to be with me, regardless of what the outside world thinks about our relationship. You also have to think about Sophia in all this, you have to consider what's good for the two of you. Your friends are another issue you have to deal with. I don't think Derek will have a problem with us being together again, but it's Callie and Arizona that I worry about. They are not particularly fond of me, especially Callie.
If we are going to do this Mark, you have must be absolutely sure that this is what you want. I am going to put myself out there for you and us, knowing full well that there's the risk of us failing. But that's a risk am willing to take.
So when you say you want us to try, I need to know that you are a hundred percent sure".
Lexie knew that it wasn't going to be an easy road, but she was willing to try. She didn't want to have the 'what ifs', 'could have been' ,'would've been' 'should have been' hanging over her head for the rest of her life.
"I understand your need for assurance, and to answer your question I really meant it Lexie when I say I want us to try be a couple again. I know that I have a lot going on in my life right now, especially with the Julia thing, but am going to fix that. And for the record I just don't want to be with you because I running away from Julia, I want to be with you because I do love you Lexie and I have for a very long time. I was just too scared to fight for you.
Like I said before that I love my daughter and I would never do anything to hurt her in any way, shape or form. Therefore I will always do what best for both of us, and being with you Lex is what I know is best. I could be with Julia and be miserable, eventually my misery will start to affect my relationship with Sophia.
As for my friends Lex, I have to stop living my life for them. I have to start living for me, for us and for Sophia. I know have to fix my relationship with Callie and Arizona, and when I say 'fix' I mean I need to establish some boundaries with them especially with Callie. They are a part of my life because of Sophia and they will always be, but I can't let my relationships with them continue the way they have been. They can not pick and choose who I should love and be with. I know that they are not very fond of you, but that is something that they have to deal with. They will have to accept that you are with me and that means by extension you are also in Sophie's life.
I know you are not ready for children Lex and am willing to wait until you are. Even if you never get to that stage, I think I'll be content with just having Sophia. Am not going to push you like I have done in the past, and am not just going to expect you to be Sophias' mother. She already has two of those and I think that 's already one too many mothers if you ask me. You can be in her life or she in yours in whichever capacity you want.
All am asking for is a chance Lex".
Lexie looked into his eyes searching for any signs of doubt or hesitation, but there was nothing but love and sincerity. She got a glimpse of the man she fell in love with a few years ago. And knew without a doubt that she also wanted to give them a chance.
"Okay" she said casually placing her head back in to nook of his shoulder.
"Okay?" he questioned surprised, he didn't think she would easily agree with him.
"Yes, we can try. But Mark there have to be rules". She stated.
"Rules huh? I think I can do that" Mark chuckled lightly. He had never been one to follow rules, but for Lexie he would do anything. It would be a long road to recovery but if they both tried, their very best, they could be a better couple than they were before.
"Yes Mark and am serious" Lexie replied in a stern voice. "The most important rule is that we have to communicate. We should talk about the things in our lives regardless of how petty they might be, because the small things also matter. No assuming or making decisions over each other.
Also if you and I are a couple, I want us to start on a clean and honest slate. Meaning you have to get you house in order, do what you have to do I'll be here waiting for you. No sneaking around".
Mark let her words sink, this was very important for both of them and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize his chance. He knew she was right about them talking things out. That had been their biggest problem before.
"I agree with you and I promise to be better. I'll talk to you more and include in my life from here on. I also don't want to sneak around, so I'll get my issue sorted out" he reassured her.
They sat there for while before Lexie started to yawn. Mark looked at his watch and realized it was almost dawn "Its late and you must be tired" he mentioned lightly caressing her arms.
"Am not really tired, what time is it anyway?" Lexie replied, she was tired, but also scared that Mark would leave and she didn't want their time together to end.
"Its 4am, I didn't realize that it was this late. I'll just leave and let you sleep" he really didn't want to leave but he also didn't to impose on her.
When he said leave, Lexie's body visibly tense and Mark noticed. "Hey I can stay if you want me too".
"Would you please?, I know I said no sneaking around and us starting on a clean and honest slate, but I just want you to hold me. If you are not going to work, maybe we can spend the day here and just talk. I miss you Mark" she said with a hopeful voice.
"I miss you too, Lex and I would love to stay and just be with you. I don't have to go to work, before I left the hospital I asked Hunt for a couple of days off work".
"Okay then, why don't we go to bed , we can talk some more when we get up. Cause honestly I am tired and the crying didn't help any" Lexie said as she getting off Marks lap and pulled him towards the bed.
When Lexie mentioned her crying, a wave guilt hit Mark and Lexie noticed "Hey don't do that, we're going to be fine. No more apologies and stop feeling guilty" she said trying to ease Mark's feelings.
When they reached the bed Lexie jumped in and made herself comfortable, she couldn't help stare at Mark as he undressed himself. Shamelessly she licked her lips and her eyes hooded with lust at the sight of Mark's well-defined chest. She could feel her stomach starting to knot in anticipation, but she knew nothing was going to happen. As if Mark knew she was staring he flexed his muscles a bit and Lexie shamelessly moaned out loudly.
"Hmm...you like that don't you Lex" Mark said in a low and husky voice. The sound of her moaning sent a shiver down his spine straight to his cock.
"You know I do Mark, am a woman with needs, but as much as I want you now we can't. So please don't tempt me because I won't be held accountable for my actions if you continue to do that thing with your muscles" she licked her lips, staring at him with lust filled eyes.
Mark smirked at her, enjoying the idea that he still had it in him to drive her crazy and make her lose all her inhibitions. He lowered himself to the bed and hovered over her, Mark could hear her breathing hike. He ran his hand over the length of her torso relishing the feel of her exposed skin to his touch. And she felt like she did three years ago, soft and sooth to the touch. He knew he was playing with fire but he just could help himself. Being so close to her drove him wild with desire.
"I know that we can't do anything, but baby I just want to hold you and feel you. I have missed this" he said placing open mouth kisses on her jaw line up to her earlobe. He sucked her earlobe and then began to lightly nibble on it. While his mouth was busy working on her ear, one of his hand was kneading her thighs.
"Marrkk...mm-mm" Lexie moaned "That feels so good...please Mark"
"Please what baby?" as he continued his ministrations.
A/N: Thank you for reading. Please Review!
