A/N: This chapter contains one of my favorite ever quotes from House, broken into two (one person gets the majority, but it wouldn't make sense if they said the whole thing).
Hermione decided that dinner would help everyone talk about what they were up to, and she wandered down alone to the kitchen to get started, leaving Sirius, Ron, and Harry talking about something that involved Harry miming cupping two large melons on his chest and Sirius and Ron bent over laughing.
She was busy working on a stew when she heard someone shuffle in behind her.
"Need any help?" came Ron's voice.
"I think I'm okay," she replied, setting a couple knives slicing through some fresh vegetables. She was happy that Kreacher and Sirius had given each other a wide berth, and that the house elf's feelings for Harry still led him to keeping the kitchen properly stocked.
She expected, maybe hoped, Ron would just grab a few butterbeers and return to Sirius and Harry, but he remained rooted to the spot. "Can I talk to you?" she asked.
She sighed, but kept it quiet enough that he didn't hear. Slowly she sat at the table, staring at the scarred wood rather than her friend. "What's up?" she muttered.
He sat across from her, and she felt him studying her face. She looked into his eyes defiantly, bracing herself for the confrontation. "I don't like this," Ron muttered.
"Duly noted. You can go now." She wasn't keen on hearing reasons, and knew that much more conversation would probably lead to a fight.
"Please hear me out, 'Mione," he said softly.
This time she didn't hide her sigh. She crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly.
"You need to be very careful about this, 'Mione. You know I have your best interests at heart, right?"
She nodded slowly.
"I love Sirius, like an uncle or something, but that doesn't mean I think you're right for each other. He's older..."
"You don't think I noticed that?" she sighed.
"I know you know," he said shortly, before taking a deep breath and continuing. "I'm just worried about you getting hurt, 'Mione. Sirius, he seems to get bored easily. And he gets antsy when he gets bored. He does reckless things. He pushes the boundaries. And I'm just worried that one day he'll get bored with you."
"Then I'll have to do my best to keep him interested, won't I?" she shot back.
He winced. "And I know you. You don't give things that you want up easily. There's a huge potential for your heart to be broken, and I don't want to see that. I don't want to sit here knowing that I have these concerns and not voicing them, because I really don't want to think 'I told you so' if you ever need me to comfort you."
"I've thought this through, Ronald. I'm sure about this. I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't sure about it."
"I just wanted to give you my concerns. I think this is one of those things best left where it is before it gets too complicated."
"I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."
"I'm not saying you can't!" he sounded angry. "I'm just saying you shouldn't be doing this. He is going to hurt you."
"Do you really have that little faith in me and in Sirius that you don't think we can enter into a relationship without dooming it to failure from the start? Or is there something else you're skirting around?"
He turned red. "You're already sleeping together," he muttered.
"Yeah. I was there. I kind of knew that."
"You seem to have rushed into this awfully quickly."
"Is that it?" she snapped. "You and I admit to each other that a relationship wouldn't work, and a month later I return with a boyfriend in tow. But somewhere in the back of your mind that one kiss at Hogwarts makes me your property and thus completely unable to have another boyfriend?"
"Sirius seems to be a little more than a boyfriend," he hissed.
"So what's it to you?" she shouted back. "We're not together! You don't have some sort of claim on me just because we kissed once. And if I remember the same conversation, you've asked out a Muggle girl yourself. Are you starting to show your hypocrisy again?"
He turned a deeper shade of red. "Just because I said I didn't want to see you that doesn't mean I want you going off to shag someone else so soon afterwards."
"Luckily for me you don't have a say in the matter. Whom I shag and when I shag them is only my business," she hissed dangerously.
"Fine. Set yourself up to be hurt. And don't come crying to me when you find some other girl on her back underneath him," he stood up, slammed his chair against the table, and she heard him stomping up the stairs towards the front door, then the door slam moments later. It was a miracle Mrs. Black didn't wake up and start screaming.
She growled in frustration, then went about mincing an onion much finer than necessary. He's such a git, she repeated in her head with every slice of the knife. The only one I'm better off without is him. Sirius isn't going to hurt me.
Is he?
"So, how did she manage to drive you nuts?" Harry smiled at his Godfather and took another sip of firewhiskey. "Assuming you have to be somewhere in the realm of crazy to ask out someone half your age and miles out of your league."
Sirius chuckled. "From what I hear I should be asking you how she managed to drive you so crazy."
Harry blushed. "She told you about that, huh?"
"She may have mentioned it."
Harry looked into his glass and smiled as he remembered that night. "It was bumbling, first time for both of us sex."
"Horrible first time or wonderful?"
"This is Hermione, mate."
He let out a noncommittal grunt.
"Threatened, old man?" Harry smirked.
"From my experience when two people have sex, unless it sucks, if they can do it again, they're going to do it again. And that's when things get complicated."
"And it didn't suck," he reached out in a salute to Hermione with a quick eye to make sure she didn't enter the room.
"Hear, hear," Sirius toasted. "So, need I be threatened, little boy?"
"Not in the slightest," Harry shook his head forcefully. "I have a girl I'm crazy over. Part of the reason I returned back from the sun and sand early."
"Needed a little something yourself?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Don't tell Ron, but yeah, a lot of something."
"His baby sister?" Sirius chuckled.
"His completely pure baby sister, at least in his mind," Harry said in a low voice.
Sirius' laugh boomed through the room.
"Hermione, she's a fiery one, Sirius. You got to be very careful with her. You can ask Ron about the incident with the canaries." He mimicked batting things away from his head.
"I'm not sure I want to know," he chuckled.
"And she is my best mate, the one I trust more than anything. I'm not going to drop her if there's some sort of falling out between you two."
"I wouldn't expect you to."
From somewhere below them they heard the front door slam.
"That would be Ron," Harry muttered.
Sirius was already on his feet, striding towards the door, but as he opened it he didn't hear what he was expecting.
"It seems like my dear mum is holding her tongue. They must have fought."
"What makes you say that?" Harry asked in awe of Sirius' reasoning.
"She gets no greater delight in seeing Mudbloods and Blood Traitors angry, even more so if they're angry at each other. She thinks it's some kind of spectator sport." He stayed by the door, listening to see if he could hear Hermione.
"Maybe she's dead or something. Can portraits die?"
"I'm not that lucky," he growled, and decided that he would go downstairs to see what was going on. If there was a fight he wanted to make sure everything was okay with her. Harry could wait.
