A/N - IMPORTANT: Draco's storybook featured in this chapter is one that my sister used to read. I don't know whether you can get it in America, but let's just say you can, yeah? ;) Usborne Farmyard Tales 'The Naughty Sheep' is owned by Heather Amery and Stephen Cartwright, and everybody in the publication.
You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too,
There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you,
We stick together and see it through,
You've got a friend in me.
You've Got a Friend in Me – Randy Newman, 'Toy Story'
Bella.
"…Pissss… deck…"
Draco had been excitedly speaking his new vocabulary since he came home. Edward shot me that 'please don't kill me' look every time we heard them. He explained to me over and over that it had been Emmett who taught his nephew those words, and that Edward had nothing to do with it. I believed him; he's slipped out the odd curse, but every time he has, he apologises profusely and I believe him when he says that he never wants Draco to repeat them. Also, I am fully aware of Emmett's vocabulary and the constant string of inappropriate words that he can mutter on a daily basis.
"Draco…" I hold his hands to his sides (lightly, so not to hurt him) and make sure he's looking at me when I talk. "We do not say those words – they are bad words. Do you understand?" His expression told me that he didn't. So I try plan B. Next time he spoke them, I looked him in the eyes and said 'no' firmly. A tiny scowl formed on his face, he wriggled out of my grasp and screamed the word back to me.
"Nnnno!" He threw himself to the ground and slapped the linoleum flooring hard with his hands. "No, no, no!" I didn't understand why this would have caused a tantrum. I rubbed his back, but he shoved my hand away. Everything that I did or tried to do, he would scream harder – hard enough that tears formed and fell down his cheeks. Edward sat before our tearful son and crossed his legs.
"C'mon here, buddy." Sniffing loudly, Draco crawled over and curled his tiny body up onto his daddy's lap. For a few seconds, I was jealous that he would scream at me and welcomed every bit of comfort that Edward offered, but it soon disappeared – I'm sure I despised one parent but not the other at times; it's the way toddlers act. "Buddy, you're not allowed to repeat what Uncle Emmett says, okay?"
"Mmmmmett."
"Yes, Uncle Emmett. Do not say those words, do you understand? Yes or no?"
"Yes."
"Good boy," Edward ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead. "Now, can you say sorry to mummy?"
"Mummy…"
"That's right – say sorry to mummy; give her a hug."
I waited patiently for Edward to stand Draco up right and signal him to walk over to me. I opened my arms to welcome him into a hug, but instead of coming over to me, he shouted 'piss' and ran in the direction of his toys. Edward and I gave each other the same 'we'll try again later' look. "He's going to be tired after such a busy day, so I'm thinking we get him fed, bathed and into bed earlier than usual."
"Yeah, sounds a like a plan to me."
"And then we talk."
"Talk?"
"Yes Edward, we talk."
xxx
I assisted in Draco cleaning his teeth, and Edward picked out a book and got himself ready next to read it. Draco threw his toothbrush into the sink once he had finished and smiled brightly at me. "Beautiful!" I grinned, helping him down off the step-up stool and racing him into his bedroom. With cuddles and kisses out of the way, we got him snuggled up into bed and ready for his story. Edward gripped onto one side of the book, and I took the other, balancing it on Draco's tummy so that he could see the pictures easily. Each page had a little yellow duck which you needed to find. We've read this story to him a countless number of times, so I was intrigued in whether he could remember where they were.
"This is Apple Tree Farm…" Edward spoke smoothly and followed each word with a finger. "This is Mrs. Boot, the farmer. She has two children called Poppy and Sam, and a dog called Rusty." He pointed to Poppy – a little girl with a blue and white spotty dress – and then to Sam – a boy clearly younger than Poppy who wore a yellow shirt and red dungarees. We asked Draco to find the duck, "where's the duck? Can you find it?" To be honest, it took me a little while to find it myself (peeking out from behind a tree branch) so it wasn't surprised that we had to show it to him.
"On the farm there are seven sheep…" Edward pointed to each of the sheep and numbered them as he went along. "The sheep live in a big field with a fence around it. One sheep has a black eye. She is called Woolly." We made sure Draco knew which one was Woolly and he found the duck all by himself that time – leaning against a fence pillar. The story progresses and we follow to story of Woolly escaping and causing havoc around the farm, eating Mrs. Boot's prize winning flowers and following the family to the local Show.
"Woolly goes into the ring. She pushes past the people and into the field. She stops by a man in a white coat."
"Duck!" Draco exclaims, pointing to Woolly.
"No buddy, that is a sheep." Edward corrects him.
"Duuuuuck!"
"Sheeeeep."
"Come on, Edward, don't get him worked up." I finish off reading the story, describing how Woolly won a prize for being the loveliest sheep in the competition and that they all went home again with big smiles on their faces.
"More."
"No more, it's bed time – we can read lots of stories tomorrow."
"More!"
"It's too late now; more tomorrow."
Draco rolled into the side of his car bed, hiding his face in his hands and wriggled around whilst moaning. "Can I have more night-night kisses, buddy?" He didn't succumb to Edward's distraction, and continued to moan and wriggle.
Edward widened his eyes and stuck out his lower lip, putting on a faux sad expression. He then pretended to cry. "You've made daddy sad. Look… daddy is crying." From hearing his father's fake sobs, he seemed to get the message. Draco looked up with a fearful expression.
"Daddy…"
"Baby boy, give daddy some night-night kisses to make him feel better." I couldn't help smiling when he rose to his tiny knees and laid his hand onto his daddy's hands in a way of comfort. Edward laughed silently, carefully bringing back his hands and catching his son as he fell into his chest. They happily gave each other sweet kisses and a tight hug. Draco snuggled back under the covers, chugging down a bottle of milk and didn't even notice us leaving the room.
"Right, where's our food; I'm starving."
"You're acting more like Emmett every day. It's rather terrifying."
xxx
Together, we made a decent meal of chilli and potatoes. Apparently, Edward can happily peel some potatoes, but if you try to get him to brown some mince or do anything which involves a hob, he freaks out like a little girl. "It's not going to kill you." I mutter, which he replies with some smart-ass remark about how it can, in fact, kill him by sparking a fire of gassing us all. That being said, I make him wash up the utensils from Draco's dinner and set the table. I always find it best to have a chat with someone over a meal – you have food to distract yourself with.
"When did this start? Us not talking I mean."
Taking a sip of juice from my glass gave me a second to think of a valid answer. "We've never had the closest of relationships to begin with; it just grew on from there I think."
"Right… but we agreed to get better (many a time, we have) but it keeps falling back on us and failing."
"You must admit, we're pretty stubborn people, but, even though these words have been repeated again and again, I cannot do this anymore. You've seen Draco's tantrums – they appear more often now, and I think it's because of us. I think us shouting at each other and almost raising him single-handedly has done this."
"Then I'm going to need your help. I… I don't do relationships."
"I didn't say we were starting one."
"No, but what I mean, Bella, is that I don't know how to be open with someone about my feelings. You're going to have to help me with that."
I scooped a forkful of mashed potato, eating it slowly as I thought over what to say. How do I help someone when I have the same problem? "Um… well next time something bothers you – or me, for that matter – we should come to each other, say what's wrong, and then a weight is lifted off of our shoulders. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, that makes sense. So, what has been bothering you?"
"You mean, apart from you forgetting to collect Draco and then disappearing in the middle of the night?" I scraped together the remains of my dinner, watching Edward drop his head in guilt. I didn't mean for my words to affect him in that way. I covered his clenched fist with one hand. "Hey, you've apologised and I understand why you left, let's not think about that right now, okay?"
"Even so, I've made a huge mistake and I can only pray that you'll learn to forgive me."
Edward can guilt trip you like a pro. All it takes is a 'no-one loves me' tone of voice and sad puppy dog eyes. "I've already forgiven you for forgetting to collect him, and, if I'm being entirely honest, I should be asking for your forgiveness for accusing you the way I did. It wasn't fair to bring you down like that."
He stuck his hand out for me to shake. "Truce?"
"Truce." I replied with a smile.
Our talk went on remarkably well. We discussed the days in which Draco is at home instead of at daycare and whether Edward could arrange with his boss to have those days off to allow us to spend much more time together as a family of three, and not a family of two – he mentioned his talk with Mrs. Newton and how she had named me a 'single mother' – his expression and the names he called her made me laugh. We continued to talk as we cleared the table and cleaned up – I washed, Edward dried.
"Bella… I was thinking that maybe… if we didn't have to worry about Draco's every movement, and had more time to ourselves… we might manage to communicate easier."
"My, my, my, Edward Cullen, are you asking me out on a date?"
"I know you dream for the day that that happens, but I'm sorry to say I was not implying that we went on a date, just that we spent more time together. Say… watching a movie once Draco's asleep… or… well, of course we don't have to do anything – it was just an idea. I don't want you to feel as if you have to go along with my ideas and… and… and of course you can decide what we… or you… or… what we do… and…"
Aww, the poor thing was rambling. "We could watch a movie after this if you want?"
Edward sighed a sigh of relief. "Thanks for helping me out there. I could check on Draco and you could pick out the movie? But, if you do choose the film, it can't be something you would watch with Alice on a Friday night with a pot of Ben and Jerry's."
"A chick-flick, you mean?"
Edward waved his hand, "whatever the bloody things are called."
I knew exactly which one to choose – I was having withdrawal sometimes from the characters. I slipped the disk into the machine and put the case back where it had come from so Edward couldn't figure out what I had chosen. As soon as the first advert began to play, I pressed pause and waited for Edward's return. He had Draco's empty milk bottle in his hand – which he threw into the sink – and reported on how our boy was sleeping.
"What are we watching then?"
"Let's see if you can guess…" I quickly ran through the theme tune in my head. "Dum dum, de-de dum dum, de-de dum dum, de-de de-dum. Dum dum, de-de dum dum, de-de dum dum, de-de-dum."
"Pirates of the Caribbean?"
"Yes indeed. The first, because that one is bad ass."
All my clean thoughts went out the window the second Johnny Depp came on screen. Oooh, I would do bad things to that man.
"There is something very sexy about Mr. Sparrow." I muttered, more to myself than anything.
"So… if I had long dreadlocks, some strange plaited beard thing, and walked like I had something up my ass, you would say I was sexy?"
Ha! Fat chance.
"If you looked like Johnny Depp, then yeah, but because it's you, then you would just look like a freak."
Edward clutched at his chest. "Oh, Bella, your words wound me so…"
"Hush up, this is my favourite part."
After saving Elizabeth from drowning and almost getting shot by the Commodore and his guards, Jack performs one of my favourite scenes. "Sticks and stones, love. I save your life, you save mine – we're square. Gentlemen… m'lady… You will always remember this as the day you almost caught… Captain Jack Sparrow…" He pushed Elizabeth into the crowd of guards, grabbed onto some loose rope and flies into the air. Swinging around with gunshots pulsing past, he landed neatly on a wooden beam and slides down to land – can this man get any better?
"Oh, my God, their swords clash in time to the music…" I made no reply; Edward's comments alone amused me. "That poor donkey…" and "Seriously, that has got to be one large stick up Commodore-What's-His-Name's ass; dude acts like a complete pussy."
"Norrington."
"Come again?"
"His name is Commodore Norrington. James Norrington."
"My apologies Miss Swan. Ha, get it? Miss Swann… Miss Swan… you have the same name."
"Edward, I shall never understand why you haven't become a comedian – you sure can make people laugh." I deadpanned.
"You'll regret saying that when I become famous."
"Sure I will."
"'Ello poppet'" Pintel peers through the crack of the cupboard doors.
"Hey!" Edward exclaimed. "You say that!"
"I say what?" I asked, looking at him confusingly.
"Poppet. You call Draco 'poppet' all the time. You must have got it off 'Pete The Perverted Pirate' there."
"Okay Edward… you keep thinking that."
All was quiet for the good part of five minutes, but then… "I used to know someone that looked like Barbossa… but it was a woman."
"That's really interesting."
Can I watch my movie, or…?
Apparently not.
"Bella?"
"Yes, Edward?"
"I like that monkey. Get me that monkey?"
"I've already given you a son. Don't push your luck."
xxx
"…Bootstraps' bootstraps."
"Edward?"
"Mmm…?"
"Shut up."
"What's the magic word?"
"Please shut up?"
"Okay."
Thank God for that, then.
"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!"
xxx
The next morning, I was walking down the stairs with a selection of Draco's clothes hanging over one arm. He had been persistent to stay with daddy in his used diaper, than come up and get changed with me. So I brought his changing station, to him.
"Aaaaaah." The strange squealing sound arose from the living room. I hurried in, just in time to see Edward running towards a footstool he had placed at one end of the room. He leaped over it skilfully and turned to smile excitedly at his son. "Aaaaaah." Draco cried again, running towards the stool, belly flopping onto it and using his little feet to push his body around one-hundred-and-eighty degrees. I didn't want to be the killjoy who ruined all the fun, so watched them repeat their obstacle course several more times.
Draco soon got tired and found rearranging the couch cushions really interesting. 'Cause, you know, toddlers have the attention span of a pea.
"Baby boy it's time to get changed now." I laid out his changing mat and hoped he would come over to me. But he didn't. After much more resisting and refusing to listen to a word Edward and I said, I went for Plan B and literally picked him up and laid him down. It's clear to say he was not a fan. Draco repeatedly screamed and thrashed about – kicking me in the face quite a few times. I took a hold of his feet so he couldn't kick me anymore.
"Draco, we do not kick people." He didn't like that either. But after ten struggling minutes, we had the fresh diaper on as well as one sock – it looked to be as far as we were going to get for now.
To distract him, Edward leant forward and asked Draco some questions.
"Where is your tummy?"
Draco prodded his stomach with the tip of a finger.
"Good boy! Who is this?" He pointed to me.
"Muuuummy…."
"Well done! Er… What is your name?"
"Drah-co…"
"What a clever boy. Who am I?"
"Daddyyyyy!"
"And, can you say 'hi dad'?"
"Hi… Dad…"
"That's a new I taught him." Edward smiled proudly.
Draco ended up with two socks on and a pair of beige shorts.
I call it a win on my behalf.
xxx
"How about we invite some of Draco's little friends over from daycare?"
We were sitting on the couch, relaxing after getting the little one down for a nap and discussing ideas for his second birthday party. "Edward, have you gone completely insane? One child is quite enough, let alone seven or eight. I think a nice tea party with the family, maybe with some games and party bags to end it with."
"I like that, but please don't mention anything to Alice; you know what she's like when it comes to parties."
I didn't like the idea of keeping anything from Alice. "But she's my best friend and Draco's aunt."
"He is our son – we get to plan the party however we want it."
"Okay, so are we going to have a theme? Maybe a teddy bears tea party?"
Edward gave me an incredulous look. "The fuck? He's not a girl. Who does he like? Character wise, I mean."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Dora the Explorer."
"Oh, Christ, it's not getting much better. There is no way in hell we are having it Dora themed."
"I guess it doesn't have to be one theme." Edward didn't seem to understand what I meant. "I mean, we could all be different characters."
"Please don't say you want me to dress up…"
An evil smirk crossed my face. "Edward, I want you to dress up and help me make this an enjoyable birthday for him. Please? Can you do that for me?"
"Alright, fine! But I'm not going to go as some fucking hot dog or Alice in fucking Wonderland."
"Aw, damn! I just ordered your dress."
"Shut up, Bella."
xxx
AN—I will have a new story up sometime in the next week – Southernward, Horseward, Whatever-the-hell-you-want-ward :-P
Favourite moment or line? Review!
RosieRathbone xx
