A/N— Short chapter, I'm sorry. Also, major apologies for the delay. Hope you enjoy.
**NOTE** There is a mention towards a lesbian relationship later on in this chapter, I want to make it clear that I have no problem with any sexual orientation and believe that people should be whoever they wish to be.
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to,
You would cry too if it happened to you.
It's My Party – Lesley Gore.
Bella
YOU'RE INVITED.
Draco Cullen would like to invite, Grandma and Grandpa Cullen, to help celebrate his 2nd birthday.
Date: Sunday 4th March. Time: 2:00pm.
At: 420 Woodcroft Ave.
Forks WA.
RSVP: Bella or Edward ASAP.
Come dressed as your favourite TV/movie character!
Each invite had his hand print painted in the top left hand corner. Doing this on eight separate invites doesn't sound like a challenge, but when the two-year-old on your lap prefers to cover you in paint and refuses to have their hand pressed onto card, you have yourself a challenge. I thought over perhaps scrapping them and starting again, but we're spending so much money on his party already, I really didn't want to fork out another thirty bucks buying some expensive card. I should have realised the total price before taking it to the check out. Although my son is worth ten times the amount we're paying, next year I'm going for the cheap version. And I'm saving up for his twenty-first starting now.
With each invite ready to be delivered, I had Draco put on his outside jacket managed to get him into the car without even the slightest refusal. Well, it might have been partly due to the fact that we would be seeing Grandma and Grandpa Cullen and also Grandpa Charlie on our outing. I swear after a day at daycare he would be more excited to see them than see me. On our way we stopped off at a post box to send the invitations that were for Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, and then we were on our way to the police station. Charlie's close friend, Wayland, met us at the door.
"Good afternoon, Bella." He greeted with a smile. "And how is this little tyke doing?" He ruffled Draco's hair.
"We're doing just fine thank you. Poppet, say 'hello' to Wayland?" We watched the toddler in my arms. He didn't seem to like this stranger standing before him, so he hid his face on my shoulder. "Oh, looks like he's not willing to chat today. Is dad about?"
"Yeah, he's just in his office; go on through."
"Thanks." I smiled politely at another co-worker that walked passed, but I didn't know his name. Charlie's usual monotone response of 'come in' allowed me to enter. The second Draco saw his Grandpa at the other end of the room he wriggled out from my arms and ran over for a cuddle.
"Hey there, solider. What a nice surprise it is to see you here."
"Yeah, we have something to give to you," fishing out his invite from the pile in my hands, I passed it over before taking the seat on the opposite side of his desk. "We hope you can make it."
"Draco Cullen would like to invite Grandpa Charlie to help celebrate his 2nd birthday…" Dad read aloud, he smiled down at his grandson who seemed in awe at everything surrounding him. "Oh, you're not having it at your own house?"
"No, Carlisle mentioned that they have a… function room which is hardly ever used and really spacious, so offered to hold it there."
"Well I guess if you have the facilities at hand, why not use them? I would love to come, but do I really need to dress up?"
I rolled my eyes, "yes, you do. I've managed to talk Edward into dressing up. Come on, it'll be fun."
Charlie sighed in defeat. "Did you talk them into this, Solider?" I don't know why he's giving Draco that pet name, but I don't dislike it, so I won't be changing it any time soon.
"Daddyyyyy."
"Your daddy is making me do this?"
"Da-ddyyyyy!" Draco kicked his little feet hard against Charlie's shins; I stepped in to remove the near-screaming child from his lap.
"He hasn't seen Edward since last night, so he's getting withdrawal symptoms." I laughed silently. "We still have some rounds to make, so we'll let you get back to your work. But we'll see you next week for the party."
"Absolutely."
Our goodbyes were said and by some miracle, Draco's moaning never turned into a fully-fledged tantrum, by hearing that we were going to see Grandma Esme next, his smile returned to his face. His calling for 'daddy' picked up once we were at the Cullen house; he clearly links this to the times he would spend with Edward at this house.
Esme kissed our cheeks sweetly. "Funny you should come over, because I was about to do the exact same thing." She led us into the living room and scooped up a pile of DVDs that were lying on a side table. "I found these on an old computer file and I knew you had to see them. The resemblance blew me away!" With some persuasion, Esme had us taking a seat in front of the shockingly large TV, ready and waiting to see what she had to show us. I knew from the date 06/20/1992 on the bottom of the screen that we were watching a home video, it started with a much younger Emmett standing with his back to a door and grinning widely. Baby Alice was asleep in a pushchair next to him.
"What are we here to do, Emmett?" Carlisle's voice broke the silence that had taken over.
Emmett took a quick lick of the red sucker in his hand. "Um, to see my baby bwovva?" I'm guessing here, but if my calculations are correct, then Emmett is about four, and Alice is a little over a year old. Carlisle continues to make sure Emmett is quiet and well behaved before they enter the hospital building. The video skips to Esme in the hospital bed, exhausted looking with red cheeks, but the largest smile plastered on her face. She's holding a tiny bundle in her arms. Emmett is lifted onto the bed and he peers down at a new born, baby Edward.
"He's so tiny…" Emmett prods Edward's face a little too hard, you hear Carlisle warning him to be careful. "Wake up bwovva."
"Ssh, Emmett, you don't want to wake him." Says Esme.
"He's boring." I had to laugh at Emmett's clear disapproval. Esme explains to him that Edward isn't boring, he's just having a little nap. "Why's he sleeping?"
"Because babies get very tired."
"Why's he very tired?"
Carlisle cuts in to help his son understand the life of a baby. "He doesn't have as much energy as you do. So when he gets older, he won't sleep as much."
"But Mary a baby 'nd she no sleep all the time."
"That's because Mary is older than Edward, and she can stay awake longer than he can."
It was weird to hear Alice being referred to as 'Mary'. I ask Esme when that changed, and she said Alice was determined to have everyone calling her by her middle name by age five. The video ends on Emmett understanding that his brother won't be asleep all the time and that soon he'll be able to have fun with him. I understood why I was shown these; even though all newborns look the same, you could see the clear resemblance between Edward and Draco, and I couldn't help but smile throughout the whole thing.
Esme swapped over the DVDs, skipped a few chapters and laughed as she sat back in her seat. "This is my favourite one." She informed me.
"Welcome to the Emmett and Edward shoooooow!" Emmett flung his arms out in a theatrical way. The date on the bottom of the screen was 04/28/95 which made Edward three and Emmett seven. Draco giggled loudly, pointed to the screen and said 'Drah-co!' That just shows how alike they are at this age. Does that mean Draco will have unruly copper hair when he's older?
Back to the home movie, Emmett was doing a grand job introducing the show. "Today on the Emmett and Edward show, we're going to be doctors, just like our dad. Edward, what have you done to your arm?" Edward was too busy smiling and waving at whoever was filming to take part in the 'show'. "EDWARD!" Emmett slapped his brother's head, said brother shot him a deathly look. A look I have seen far too often on his son.
"Mooooooooommy!" Edward cried, clutching his forehead. "Emmett hit me! Like… dis!" He acted out Emmett's recent 'attack' and then realised he had hurt himself again. "Owww! I no like this game no more, momma."
I turned to look at Esme, who was laughing quietly into her hand. "That, is why I am fine with just having little Draco; a sibling argument is not my cup of tea."
"I think my boys were just unusually boisterous and you know what they say: like father like son."
Dear Bella's uterus.
I would like to make it known to you now that another child is not on Bella's Bucket List, and therefore, you are, as of this moment, considered unemployed.
Many thanks for everything you did with Draco.
Lots of love,
Bella's Brain.
There, that should do the trick.
xxx
"So, what you're saying Bell, is that we need to dress up as a character from TV..."
Nothing gets past Emmett.
"Yes, but it has to be suitable for Draco's viewing."
"Shit."
I rolled my eyes. "What did you have planned?"
"Just thought it could have been the perfect opportunity to see Rose in some sexy number. Y'know the type I mean; stockings, stilettoes, corsets…tits that just… burst from the clutches of said corset…"
I put a stop to Emmett's fantasy fairly quickly. He didn't seem to understand the reason why I wouldn't want my 2 year old son becoming a witness to such slutty clothing. He's gonna want to see a chick in it someday… had been his only reason why Rosalie should wear such a ridiculous outfit.
"So I could come as Leonardo from 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'? Or, oh, oh, oh… the red Power Ranger." He gasped. "Oh, ma jizz" – did he really just say that? – "the number of times I fought Edward over being him… and now I actually will be! Right, I have to go and get my outfit! Oh, and Bella?"
"Yeah?"
"'Let the power protect you'"
"Um… thank you?"
"Not a problem. Bye!"
I barely had time to put the phone down before my attention was caught again. This time, by a little boy who had a very mischievous grin on his face – I didn't like the look of this. He ran up to me and jumped on the spot as if to say: "hold me, woman!" So I did.
"Maaaammaa." He squashed my cheeks together in the palm of his hands. Repeating 'mama' over and over in a sing-song fashion; swaying his head from side to side. He had been in Edward's care whilst I was on the phone to Emmett, so I wondered whether they were playing 'Hide and Seek' and coming to me had been his amazing hiding place.
"Where's daddy?"
Draco flattened his index finger against his lips. "Sssss, seeping."
"He's asleep?"
"Yea."
I leave him for five minutes…
"Come on then, munchkin. I think it's time he wakes up, don't you?"
"Yea."
"Yeah, me too."
xxx
"Are you mentally insane?" Edward gripped the costume I had picked for him tight in both hands. It's safe to say he wasn't best pleased with my choice. "Why couldn't I have been the one to decide who we go as?"
"I don't know… but not to worry, it's just for a couple of hours." Draco scurried around my legs like an excited puppy. He loved his costume, but you could have probably dressed the kid up as dog shit and he would have been just as overwhelmed with the whole thing. He prodded the plastic stickers on his left sleeve that were meant to act as buttons. "See, Draco likes it."
"That's because he's two!" Edward exclaimed. "Every little boy wants to dress up as Buzz Lightyear, but I don't know any fucking nineteen year old who dresses up as Woody the fucking Cowboy for fun!"
Now, there was no need for that language. "Hey, calm your temper. It's for a couple of hours, with your family who will all come dressed as a humiliating children's character. Don't forget that I'm dressing up as Jessie the Cowgirl, so we're both in the same boat. Now, go get dressed; we've got to get going soon." Edward mumbled something that sounded a lot like a curse word as he stood from his seat, shooting me deathly glares and continued to mumble, this time saying "sleep with one eye open, Bella."
xxx
It really made me happy to see that everyone followed the invitation rules and came dressed up as something. Esme and Carlisle were Papa Smurf and Smurfette – originally they had painted their faces blue, but it scared my little Space Ranger, so they washed it off. Alice and Jasper came as Betty and Barney Rubble – Alice had a skimpy blue dress on, but wore it with thick white tights, so she wasn't showing off her ass to the world. I was most surprised to see that Charlie had put the effort in too, coming along as Indiana Jones – with the whip and everything. Edward, begrudgingly, put on his party face and kept up his pretence, even though he had called his outfit 'something Jasper would wear if he were gay'. Yeah, I don't understand either.
A car pulled up to the front drive, which meant our final guests had arrived. Rosalie looked about as happy as Edward… but I guessed it wasn't because of her outfit. She came as Cinderella (maid version) with her hair pulled back with a white scarf and wore a very boring, brown tunic with a white apron tied around the middle. I ask the simple question of: 'where's Emmett?' and her face tenses with anger.
"I'm telling you, Bell. I am…this close to… gah, I don't even know a suitable punishment. I told him Prince Charming! Prince. Freaking. Charming. How hard is that?"
"I'm guessing he didn't come as Prince Charming…"
"No, he came as –"
A loud clatter and bang silenced us all (except Draco, who murmured in fight) which turned our attention to the front door.
"I'M CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!"
Emmett stood proudly to attention, in tight blue jeans, a matching jean, button-up vest and what looked like army boots. He'd bought one of those fake beards (which would have made him look more like Santa had it been grey) and a black cowboy hat.
"What has Chuck Norris got to do with children's characters?" I asked, and then noticed my mistake. "If you're going to say some quirky line about how he invented TV by blinking or something, then don't bother answering."
Emmett looked at me as if to say 'the Hell have you been smoking?' "Why would I say that? That's bullshit. But I might not ever get the chance to be him again, so I took the chance by the balls."
Phew.
"But you know what does happen when he blinks?"
I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. "Um, his eyelids close for the fraction of a second?"
"No, Microsoft Windows crashes."
Which nimrod came up with these? You must have some interesting life if that is what you spend your time doing. "That doesn't even make any sense."
"I know…but if Chuck Norris doesn't know it, it isn't worth knowing."
Edward came striding into the hallway. "Hey, Emmett, I like my women like I like my turtles; helpless when they're on their back." Not this again. Recently, they started this one-liner competition and whoever comes up with the best, wins.
Emmett took no time in responding. "I like my women like I like sentences; without periods."
"I like my coffee like I like my women; straight and black."
Emmett had an evil glint in his eye when he spoke. "I like my women Iike I like my wine; twelve years old and locked up in my basement. BAM! Emmett wins. Suck it."
It's going to be a lo-ong day.
xxx
"Bella, do you know what I've been thinking?" Alice ambushed me as I was walking out of the bathroom. Having a quiet minute to yourself and then finding Betty Rubble staring up at you when you exit almost makes you head back into the restroom 'cause you, well… shit yourself.
"Do I want to know what you've been thinking, Betty?"
Alice gave off that look which said 'har-har, you're so funny' and pouted evilly. "Shut up, whore. I just think we should take our relationship to the next level."
"Oh… um… I'm very grateful and… honoured? But I don't exactly swing that way… and I thought everything was fine with Jasper?"
Awkward… awkward…
What are you meant to say when your best friend asks that sort of thing?
"EWW! NO!" - Eww? Excuse me, but are you saying I'm 'eww'? – "Jesus Bella, I wasn't saying I wanted us to become two little lesbians. Ew! Really? Ew! No. I meant you should become my sister."
Oooh. Okay, that makes so much more sense. "You'd have to ask Charlie (seeing as I am the only family he's got), but he likes you, he might let your parents adopt me. Oh, but then Edward would be Draco's dad/uncle and it'll all be too confusing…"
"Oh, my Prada handbag, are you serious? I mean (again) that you should marry my brother and then we'll be sisters!"
Ahh… that does make a bit more sense. But again, we have a problem. "I don't think Rosalie would be too pleased if I stole Emmett from her… and to be quiet honest, she could quite easily kill me with one punch. So, thanks, but no thanks."
"Or you just marry Edward."
Betty Rubble say what? "Edward?"
"Yes. Y'know, the giant cowboy in the other room who's flying his son around like Buzz Lightyear and… oh, my God, that's so cute." Alice and I both looked over to see Edward swoop Draco down towards the ground whilst quoting the famous line "That's not flying, that's falling with style."
"But why would I want to marry him? – apart from the obvious 'becoming your sister', of course."
"Because you have so much in common!"
"The only thing we have in common is two years old and currently dressed up in a space suit. You wouldn't exactly call it a match made in heaven. Anyway, it's been lovely talking to you, dear one." I can ace an English accent…
As I walked back to the party, Alice shouted: "YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT! IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER!" Sadly, Alice isn't often wrong…
xxx
The party, which was meant to finish between four and five, was still going strong by seven. I decided to call it a day. Esme wrapped up the tiny remainder of Draco's birthday cake and the men helped load my truck with all his various presents. Edward came up to us before we left. "I'm going to stay and have a couple beers with Emmett and Jasper. That alright, or do you want me to help with him?"
"Oh, no you're alright thanks. I just have to give him and bath and get him to bed – you can see his eyes closing already." Draco was cuddled up into my side, his cheek resting on my shoulder and his hand clutched a lock of my hair that had slipped from my ponytail.
"As long as you are sure. But if things change, just gimme a text, yeah?"
"Absolutely."
Edward took his sleepy son from my arms and kissed him loudly on the forehead. "Happy birthday, buddy. I'll see you in the morning, 'kay? Love you. Gimme kisses?" –aah, I loved it when they did that – "Atta, boy! Say 'bye-bye dad'?"
"Bye-bye… dad."
Draco fell asleep during the drive home, so I didn't want to awaken him for a bath (he could have one in the morning) so by eight-thirty, he was tucked up in bed, sleeping peacefully and I could get a bit of the housework completed. I found sleep a short hour later, and, let me tell you, after spending the day dressed as a cowgirl and trying to keep a birthday party up and running, the soft sheets and bouncy mattress feel better than…water in a desert.
xxx
*Slam* "shit… fuck…" *smash* "ass-face-dick!" From the second Edward slammed the front door and stumbled into one of the rooms downstairs, I've been wide awake and on high alert. The time was shortly after three in the morning, and by the sounds of things, he had had a bit more than a few beers.
*Stomp* *stomp* *stomp* "aah, I really need a piss…" *stomp* *stomp* *stomp* "There are too many stairs… fuck 'em." *stomp* *stomp* *stomp*.
I listened intently to Edward's interesting trip to the bathroom and how he surprisingly managed to flush the toilet and wash his hands after. His stomping returned, but it sounded like it was getting closer and closer…
*knock knock* "Beeeell-aaa…" *knock knock… knock…knock*
I wanted to act asleep and maybe he would get the hint, but Edward's knocking was very persistent.
"What is it, Edward?"
My door swung open, revealing the hallway light I had kept on. Edward stumbled into the room, singing my name and swearing for no apparent reason. Instead of walking in a straight line, he made a more diagonal approach, falling into the wall a couple times.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he climbed onto my bed and crawled over the cover towards me. I was just a little nervous.
"Guess what, Bell-aaaaa." His breath stank highly of strong spirits and beer. "I'm just a little bit drunk…"
"I have noticed that. Now, it would be best if you went to your own bed and slept off the intoxication."
Edward drew an invisible line across my face with his finger. "You going to join… me?"
"No, because that is your bed, and this is my bed." Why did I tell him I was awake? Why?
"Y'know what I was thinkin'." He didn't give me the time to reply. "I was thinkin' about the last time I was drunk…drink-drunk…drunk… and so were you. You remember that, Bella? Remember the last time we… did it like they do it on the Discovery Channel?"
Last time? I do recall it was the only time.
I had to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. "You need to go to bed, Edward. You don't know what you're saying."
"Yyyyyyy-ess I do." His hand snaked up the top of my arm. "We should have another baby. And I won't be an ass this time… and then another baby… and another… and own a farm… and a spider. Incy wincy spider, climbed the spater wout." I removed his hand that had no reached the base of my neck. He didn't like that. "Nooo… come on, I know you want to play."
"No I don't. Please, get off me. You're scaring me."
He lifted his heavy body up and straddled me. "I don't want to scare you, muffin."
"But you are, please get off me. I don't care if you're drunk. If you don't get off me now, I will ring Charlie and let him deal with you."
I don't care if that sounds too harsh and over the top; this is one thing I fear.
"Alright… fine… I'll leave you to be a prude." If this is what he's going to be like every time he has a night of drinking, I'm locking my bedroom door. "But you'll come running to me for my dick in no time."
Edward slammed my door with his exit. Draco's cry lightly echoes from his room. Needing the comfort, I collect him from his bed and take him back to my own, soothing his tears, as mine slip down my cheeks.
A drunken mind speaks sober thoughts.
How I wish that line was false.
xxx
A/N—I already apologised for the delay, and because of my hectic life right now, it might be another wee delay till the next posting. But, trust me, things will get nice and flirty soon ;) I'm away to England in a few hours, and so I will be without the internet for a week, but I might try and get some writing done in the 6 hours that I'll be in the car.
Thoughts? Favourite character costume?
RosieRathbone xx
