Hannibal was starting to think he was better off taking his chances in the hospital. True, the bed in Jean's room beat the hell out of that backsore he was stuck in for three days, but the service was comparable to the stockades; every time he tried to get up and leave the room and do anything, all he got was a four-man escort right back into the bed.
"Now look," he told the four people hovering over him, "I'm hardly about to run out and sign up for hang gliding lessons…" He caught the smirk on Murdock's face at that suggestion, and added, "But I would like to get out of this damn bed and move around."
"Sure, we've all heard that one," Face said, "First it's just a little walk around the yard, and then the next thing we know we get a call from the ER because they found a man lying in a ditch where he crashed trying to clear a five mile run because he feels a sadistic need to always be in tiptop shape."
Hannibal grunted and remarked, "You know me too well."
"Get this straight, Hannibal," Jean stuck a finger so close to his face she about rammed it up his nose, "The doctor said you need to take it easy for two weeks, and if you don't then you're going back to the hospital."
"Oh please," he replied, "You really think I'm going to suffer a setback if I don't lay around here getting bedsores for two weeks?"
"No," she shook her head, "I'm telling you if I catch you doing anything stupid while you're still recovering, I'm going to beat the hell out of you and put you back in the hospital."
Hannibal took a minute to respond, and when he did, he said nothing to Jean, only looked over to the pilot and said, "Murdock…"
"Yeah, Colonel?"
He grinned and said humorously, "I love your wife." Then he looked back to Jean and said, "Alright, you win, Chancellor, happy?"
"I haven't been happy since the day I met you," she replied in equal humor.
"Bah," Hannibal waved her off, "Can the condemned man at least smoke in peace?"
"Not in my room," she told him, "When you get your old room back then you can stick a cigar in each ear for all I care."
"This is why so many patients die during post-op care," Hannibal said as he pulled the covers up.
"Shut up, Grandpa," she replied as one by one they left the room to let him rest.
"Well, he's going to be trouble," Face said as they headed downstairs.
"That's a given," Murdock said.
"However, I think we've got bigger problems to worry about," Face said.
"Like the fact that if Decker's looking for you guys he might come here again," Jean said, "And then what are we going to do with Hannibal then?"
"Yeah, something like that," Face replied.
"I wouldn't worry about that," she told him, "If Decker does come here again, he's going to be sorry."
"That's easy to say, Jean," Face said, "But face it, after the first couple times, you're not that scary to look at."
Jean moved to kick him in the seat but just missed him. "I'm not talking about that…Murdock and I've been working on a plan if Decker comes slumming again."
"That's right, listen to this," Murdock wheezed shallowly and then let out a cough that sounded like a lung was wrenched loose in him.
"What is that?" Face asked.
"We got the idea when we had Hannibal in the isolation ward," Jean said, "If Decker comes around here again we'll tell him that we've been quarantined, TB…" she saw Face rolling his eyes but she cut him off before he had a chance to shoot it down, "I've been thinking about this, I got some squibs from the prop department at the studio and when Murdock goes to cough, a little sleight of hand and the squibs pop and it looks like a mosquito losing its lunch all over his palms."
Face looked at her as if she'd lost her mind and he asked her, "Where do you come up with this stuff?"
She shrugged and said, "I work in Hollywood, home of the weird, there's nothing out there that they can't come up with."
"Yeah I know," he replied, and then stopped.
"Uh-oh," Murdock smirked, "Faceman's thinking."
"Lord help us all," Jean muttered.
"Oh shut up," Face told her.
"Don't talk to my wife like that," Murdock got in his face.
Jean slapped Murdock in the back of the head and told him, "Leave him alone."
Face acted on instinct and hit her back and told her, "Don't you hit him."
"Oh brother," B.A. groaned as he walked past them, shaking his head the entire time, "Crazy's found a breeding ground in this house."
"That's right, B.A.," Jean called after him, "It's a contagion and now that it's infected all of us, it's going to come for you next!"
Face put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention and he almost got an elbow in the face for it, but he told her, "You shouldn't tell him things like that, it only makes him worse."
"Oh please, what's he going to do to me?" Jean asked and pointed at her eye, "I've got one over his head for the rest of my life, he punched my lights out and knocked me clear into the next week, remember?"
As if any of them could forget that one. The A-Team did not make a habit out of going around hitting women, and especially not B.A., for many reasons but a vital one was he always hit harder than he realized and he knew it. That said, the day that it had happened, they were all amazed that he didn't kill her; though he had managed to knock her silly and it was about half an hour before she remembered where she was. The bruise that followed the blow had covered about half of her face and the truth of the matter was they didn't have any idea when it finally went away because Jean was still covering it with makeup when they left two months ago, not for her own convenience but so that B.A. could finally look at her again without feeling guilty. He'd had a perfect track record of never hitting a woman, for any reason, and even though it was an accident, because he'd been trying to hit Hannibal instead, the day it happened that record was blown to smithereens.
Face walked over to the front window and looked out and noted the lack of any sign of life on the block. No traffic, no people, nobody in or around any of the houses on the other side of the street, this place was practically a ghost town.
"What do you think the odds are Decker will come here?" he asked the others.
"I don't know," Jean said as she reached into her pocket and took out the hand grenade she hadn't had to use at the hospital, "But if he does he's going to get introduced to a little philosophy that it's a bad omen to annoy sick people, could even be fatal."
Face turned around and saw what she was holding and his eyes popped out, "Where'd you get that?"
"Out of the van, the better question is where did you get it?" she asked.
"Trade secret," Murdock answered.
Hannibal had been asleep when he heard somebody pounding on the door, he turned his head and called, "Come in!"
Jean entered the room and asked him, "Everything alright?"
"It was," he answered, "What's up?"
"Just giving you a heads up," she said, "I'm going to see about that audition and I'm going to take Murdock down with me, I think he'll get a kick out of going down to the studio."
"Well," Hannibal said with a chuckle, "I guess he'll do in a pinch if you need a partner for it."
"Anyway," she told him, "These auditions usually run a couple hours because they get about 30 people trying for the same part, so we probably won't be back until tonight, so it'll just be Face and B.A. here for the rest of the day."
"Great, now I just have to figure a way to get them out of the house and then I'm set," Hannibal said with a grin.
Jean went over to the bed and asked him, "You are going to be alright, aren't you, Hannibal?"
"Of course I will," he answered, "I haven't had Lynch and Decker on their toes for the last 10 years just to give them the satisfaction of seeing me croak now."
"Just checking," she said.
Once she was gone from the room, Hannibal waited until he heard the front door close and then he went over to the window and saw them back out of the driveway in Jean's car, before disappearing down the street. He heard somebody coming up the stairs and turned to see Face standing in the doorway and he asked, "Did they already…"
"Yeah," Hannibal answered as he moved away from the window, "So I'm guessing whatever it is you were screaming at her about earlier, will have to wait until tonight."
"I'm convinced, Hannibal," Face told him, "Murdock was never insane, but Jean is."
"Why, what's she done now?" Hannibal asked as he took a concealed cigar out of his pocket and lit it.
"The whole time we were in the hospital she had a grenade in her pocket, did you know that?" Face asked.
"Hmm," Hannibal puffed on his cigar, "Did she elaborate on what it was for?"
"One guess," Face said.
"Decker."
"Yup," Face answered as he went over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, and from there he proceeded to fill Hannibal in on what had happened while they were waiting for him to come out of surgery."
"Taking the operating room hostage at gunpoint, points for creativity," Hannibal lightly remarked, "I'll have to remember that one."
"Hannibal!" Face clearly wasn't taking it as well as the colonel was.
"What is it?"
Face didn't say anything at first, and then he said bluntly, "I think she's nuts, Hannibal."
"I thought we established that when we found out she can see Murdock's dog," he replied.
"No, Hannibal, I think she really could be psycho."
"Ah, well then let me give you some advice, lock the door when you take a shower."
"I'm serious," Face said, "I think one of these times she's going to go off the deep end and really kill somebody."
"She already has, don't you remember?" Hannibal replied.
"Exactly," Face said, "She's proven before that she has the capacity to kill."
"Yes," Hannibal said, not sounding convinced, "And she's proven that she still has the desire to kill on occasions, but you can note that so far she hasn't been successful in carrying them out. In fact you might recall that the last time we were here, she about got herself killed by saving the very man that she previously tried to assassinate, I think that says something."
"Except now she's not planning to shoot Decker," Face reminded him, "Now she's plotting to blow him up."
"Well," Hannibal gave a little smile as he said, "At least she's showing some improvement."
"So much for that part," Jean said as Murdock drove them back from the studio that afternoon.
"It's just a minor technicality," Murdock told her, "Don't burn your bridges yet."
"Murdock, 50 guys show up in military uniforms because now the word going around is this patient was experimented on in the army, that's not a minor technicality."
"Well I still think you could get it," Murdock said, "You've got something they don't."
"What's that?" she asked.
"You're a woman," he explained, "All those people back there assumed that this role is a man because it sounds the most logical. You're the only one that got the idea that it could be a woman."
"How does that do me any favors?" she asked.
"Well you said this is supposed to be a comedy," he said, "And sure it's funny to watch a man running around grabbing people, but a woman grabbing other women and chasing them all over, nobody's going to expect that, so that's added comic value. It could be that after all the experiments the army performed on her, she thinks she's a man."
"And then it becomes a whole other kind of comedy," Jean said, "But I still need a uniform."
Murdock jerked the wheel all the way to the left and the car did a wide U turn and pulled up to the curb on the other side of the street.
"What is it?" Jean asked.
Murdock pointed and she saw what he was looking at, he had pulled the car up in front of a Hollywood costume shop.
"Let's see if they've got anything you can use," he told her.
Jean shrugged and followed him in. Halloween was coming up soon and the store was crowded with people sorting through everything on the racks. It took them half an hour to find the military variety of costumes, and from there it was a matter of sorting through formal uniforms, combat uniforms, and run-of-the-mill camouflage fatigues. Jean found an olive drab uniform in her size and found a dressing room to try it on, she came out and stood before a full length mirror and Murdock stood beside her, also looking at how it fit. Jean put on the hat that came with the uniform and made a face and told Murdock, "I look like Decker."
"Now there's a nightmarish concept," Murdock agreed.
"Might come in handy though," she said, "I'll get it, but I need something else for the audition, and I've got an idea."
Rifling through the other outfits on the rack she found a green Air Force outfit that was a size too large for her and a pair of boots to go with it. On the way out she explained, "If this guy's been locked away in the booby hatch for testing, then by the time he gets out into civilization again he's probably going to have a hard time finding something that fits him right away."
"That's a good idea," Murdock agreed, "Especially if he's escaped, which it's probably a safe bet he did."
Jean laughed and said, "We ought to see about getting you in as a new writer, you could come up with this stuff better than they could because you've already been in the loony bin."
She turned to look at him and it was obvious from the look on Murdock's face that he liked that idea.
Hannibal and Face had been passing the time playing poker while they waited for Murdock and Jean to get back, when they heard Jean's car pull up down below, Hannibal called the game short and decided to find out how the audition went. They were both surprised when the pair came up and Jean walked into the room looking like she had just escaped from Saigon.
"What happened to you?" Face asked.
"I'm not sure but I think I got the part," she said as she scratched through her hair. "They said they'd be calling in a few days, which of course could mean anytime between this Friday and Thanksgiving, and that's assuming I even get it."
"Have fun, Murdock?" Face asked.
"Oh yeah, it was great," he said as he sat on the foot of the bed, "But you know it's strange, I tried talking with some of the other people that came to audition and in the middle of the conversation they suddenly turned around and left the studio, I wonder why?"
Face turned to Jean and asked, "He start on about the Golf ball Liberation Front again?"
"No," she shook her head, "Space gerbils."
"Ah."
"Very effective," she noted, "Cut the competition down to about 12 other guys."
"How've you been, Hannibal?" Murdock asked.
"I'm going out of my mind with boredom but I'm alright," he answered.
"Good," Jean replied, "Any trouble while we were gone?"
"Nope," Face answered, "It's been a perfectly boring afternoon, appropriately enough it was nice and quiet while you were gone."
"Yeah well we're back now," Jean told him.
"Unfortunately," he commented.
Through the corner of his eye, Face saw Murdock stuffing something down in his jacket, he turned and caught a glimpse of something red and asked the pilot, "Murdock, what're you doing?"
Hannibal reached out and tugged on the red sparkle fabric that was now sticking out of the bottom of his jacket, "Murdock, what is that?"
Murdock turned and saw that his cover was blown, so he yanked the thing out of his jacket and held it up, showing it was the remains of a red glitter dress.
"What're you doing with that?" Face asked.
"Uh, well…" Murdock tried to figure out how to explain it, "See I figured that the Saint could use a stand-in for her audition, so they could see how it would look with her chasing after women instead of a guy…and…so…"
"You were the woman?" Face asked, his eyes wide with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.
"A very ugly one at that," Jean noted.
"Well," Murdock grumbled, "It would've looked better if I could've gotten a different dress."
Face turned around and clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Hannibal took the tattered dress and saw that it was a sleeveless gown with a short, tight fitted skirt, or rather it was before it was torn to shreds. "Yeah I can see how that wouldn't have been one of your finer appearances," he said, maintaining a straight face.
"As it turns out, from the bottom half he looked alright in it," Jean said, "It was only when it got up here," she grabbed him by his upper arm, "That it started to be a problem. But he did his part well and I think we got the point across."
"Yeah," Murdock replied as he went back over to the bed, "If you want a mentally unbalanced sex fiend, she's your man for the job."
Face knew there was a joke in there, but he slowly turned his head and looked at Hannibal and said, "I'm not even going to bother with that one."
It was after midnight, Face had crept out of his room and down the stairs with a Beretta in his hand, quietly slipping down the steps, holding his breath the entire way down. His bare feet made a slight sound as they touched down on the linoleum tile on the front hall floor; he pressed himself against the wall and listened. All was quiet for the moment. He inched over to the front door and pulled the curtain back slightly to look out into the night. Everything was dark except for a part of the street illuminated by the corner street lamp. All the houses were dark, and he couldn't see anybody out there, everything looked status quo from here.
Then he heard it, a floorboard creaking from somewhere towards the back of the house. Holding his breath again, Face tiptoed across the floor through the dining room and into the kitchen, and he was suddenly blinded by a light that came on. Opening his eyes immediately he was able to see amidst a bunch of green and purples spots, Jean and Murdock standing in the middle of the kitchen, also with guns drawn and aimed at him.
Face rubbed his eyes and once the spots started to pass he told them, "I thought somebody had broken in."
"Face," Jean said as she pocketed her gun, "Do you really think if Decker came here he's be tiptoeing through the tulips or do you think he'd blow down the door?"
"Well," he pointed to her gun, "What about you?"
"I live here," she told him, "That entitles me to also consider the possibility of common burglars."
Face was able to see clearer now, and he saw that Jean still had on the Air Force outfit she'd worn to the audition that day, and he asked her, "What are you doing in that?"
"Giving it authenticity," she answered, "If I do make the cut, I want to be able to present the illusion that this thing's actually been worn."
A thought occurred to Face and he asked them, "What're you doing up?"
"Same as you," Murdock said, "Making sure nobody sneaks up on us in the night."
"So…" Face looked up at the ceiling, then back at them and asked, "Realistically, how long do you think we can keep Hannibal in recovery before he tries to bounce back?"
"Idealistically it would be good if we could keep him off the front line until another mission comes up, however long that is," Jean said, "But I think we're going to have to settle for another week before he declares himself well enough to do what the hell ever he wants. We're just going to have to try it for as long as we can."
"And of course," Murdock added, "If the Colonel wants to argue the point, he can discuss it with B.A., that ought to settle the matter really quick."
Jean was up before five o' clock. She let Murdock sleep and she went to the window and watched the outside start to lighten up. The sun wouldn't be up for a while but in the meantime she was able to make out the street and the houses and the yard, and saw how normal everything looked. They'd all had the same thought, until Hannibal was at the top of his game again they didn't believe in taking any chances where Decker was concerned. She wouldn't talk to the others about it but if he did come to her house again, it would be the last thing he ever did.
She left the bedroom and went down the hall to the storage room, the only room on the second floor with an outside stairway leading down to the ground. It was already warm and the day was just going to get hotter, still it felt nicer outside than in the house right now. She started to unbutton her jacket when she heard a car coming down the road and she turned her attention to the street out front.
The noise of the engine was low, indicating that it was still several blocks away and not traveling particularly fast; but there weren't any other noises this early in the morning and so the sound not only carried a long way, but also seemed to echo. Jean was partially hidden behind the large trunk of a tree so she wouldn't have been easy to spot from the street, and she watched as the car came into view, and she felt her heart climb into her throat, it was a brown sedan with lights on top and the words MILITARY POLICE up by the windshield. She was stunned to see it pass without any indication that the occupants of the car were looking at or for anything here. The lights weren't flashing on the top and it continued down the street at the residential speed limit. Sure it could have been a coincidence, but there was something about it that didn't sit right with Jean. She decided to follow the car and see where it went, and see if she could find out who was in it. After all, if it was Decker, he already knew her and there wasn't much he could do with her, especially since she lived on this block. And if it wasn't Decker, then they wouldn't know her, and she could just say she was passing by on her way to work.
Jean kept her car three blocks behind the sedan and followed it through a more active part of the city where there were about 20 other cars at any one time alongside and in between the two of them. After following the sedan for a couple of miles, Jean turned off on a side road where she'd still be able to keep an eye on the other car, but without its occupants noticing her, at least she hoped they didn't. She was able to glance over to the other road and saw the sedan start to speed up after a few blocks, she turned to get back on the road with it but hit the brakes when she saw another vehicle coming right at her. The Firebird slammed to a halt and Jean was knocked forward and hit her head against the steering wheel, and pulled it up in time to see three large army trucks barreling down the road. There had to be a connection, but Jean didn't know what it was, though she was determined to find out. She got onto the main road and followed a distance behind the trucks through twists and turns and up hills and down crooked paths and into a place that looked completely out of civilization, and when she saw the brake lights on the back of the trucks, she parked her car behind a row of trees and made the rest of her journey on foot.
She looked down to make sure she didn't snap any twigs or step on anything else to draw attention to her presence, but she also kept her eyes on the area ahead of her to make sure nobody saw she was coming. Up ahead the three trucks had parked alongside each other and beyond that Jean was able to make out a house that looked like a cross between a shack and a cabin, it didn't look like anybody had been living out there but there seemed to be a hell of a lot of company at it now. She saw men getting out of the trucks and going around to the backs, but before she could see what was in them, she felt a pair of hands on her neck and she was jerked around and saw a man in uniform staring down at her as he squeezed the life out of her.
"It doesn't make sense that she would take off without telling anybody," Murdock told Face as they zoomed along in his 'Vette, heading down to the studio because it was the first place they could think to look for Jean.
They'd gotten up before seven and after everybody got around they realized that Jean wasn't anywhere in the house. They checked the yard and also the whole block since they knew they didn't have to worry about anybody reporting them for trespassing. After that they noticed that her car was gone and tried to figure out where she might go without leaving word to anybody. The only idea any of them could come up with was that she might've had an early audition, and Face and Murdock decided to take the corvette down and check, Hannibal and B.A. would stay at the house and keep an eye on things incase she came back, and then get word to them on the radio in the car.
"Really, Murdock, you think this is the weirdest thing she's done yet?" Face asked in disbelief.
"Well anyway, it's not like her," he said.
Face was about to reply with a question of how Murdock could know that when he hadn't seen her for two months when he saw a pair of red and blue lights spinning and heading their way. "Uh-oh, looks like Decker again, hold on."
He swerved the 'Vette all the way around and doubled back the way they'd come. Murdock chanced to glance back at the car following them and immediately regretting looking back when somebody in the other car started shooting at them.
"Why does this always happen when we take my car?" Face asked as he swerved again to get them out of the immediate line of fire.
Murdock pulled a gun out of his jacket and returned a few shots, but noted, "Can't make out who's driving but it don't look like Decker."
"Oh great, they're multiplying," Face groaned as he stepped on the accelerator to get them out of there.
Murdock managed to hit the windshield and the army sedan swerved to the side and hit a fire hydrant and came to an immediate and unexpected stop. Murdock howled with laughter as they got away and he turned back around in his seat. Face turned off onto a side road and they continued down that way to stay out of sight.
"Recognize anybody we know?" he asked Murdock.
The pilot shook his head and said, "I doubt they'll be stopping by the house."
"All the same," Face told him, "It wouldn't hurt to get on the radio to Hannibal and B.A. and let them know what's going on."
"Yeah," Murdock grabbed the radio but dropped it when he spotted something ahead, "Face, look at that!"
He looked, and saw one very familiar blue car parked up ahead.
"That's Jean's car, she's around here somewhere," Murdock said.
"Go figure," Face replied as he pulled up beside the Firebird and parked it, "You think she also ran into the joy boys back there?"
"I hope not," Murdock said as they went over to Jean's car and inspected it for bullet holes or blood stains in the upholstery, they came up empty.
"Well she's got to be around here somewhere," Face said, "Let's take a look around."
"Well, she isn't back there the way we came," Murdock noted, "So she must've gone on ahead."
"Brilliant deduction, Murdock," Face told him as they started forward.
Murdock looked down at the ground and pointed out, "Somebody's been here, look at the footprints."
"They look like army boots," Face realized.
"No," Murdock shook his head, "Air Force regulation boots, or rather a cheap facsimile thereof, preferably from a Hollywood costume shop."
"Eh?" Face turned to him.
"Jean must've worn her new outfit when she left the house," Murdock said, "And look up there…somebody has to have been through here, look at all the tire tracks."
Face followed the trail of the marks in the dirt and he looked up ahead and saw a rundown looking cabin up ahead.
"Think anybody's home?" Face asked.
Murdock pulled the gun out of his pocket and said, "One way to find out."
Face nodded hesitantly and pulled his gun out too. "Let's go."
They made their way up to the cabin and were almost to the front door when they heard gunshots and they dropped down. Somebody had opened fire from a window towards the back of the cabin, they stayed close to the ground and returned fire. The fact that there wasn't a heavy barrage of enemy fire told them that there was most likely only one person inside, and not heavily armed. Murdock ran on ahead and kicked in the door, screaming warnings to drop everything and for whoever was in the cabin to come out with their hands up; Face brought up the rear and looked in every direction, but they didn't see anybody. Keeping their guards up, they searched every room and didn't find a trace of anybody.
"Either we're both losing our minds or the invisible man's got an army now," Face muttered to himself as he kicked the refrigerator in the kitchen.
From another room he heard Murdock yelling for him and he ran in to see what was the matter, he froze in the doorway when he saw Jean. She lay on the bed unresponsive, her clothes were torn, blood streaked over one of her eyes, and her wrists were tied with rope, each separately and then together, and the rope was tied around a chain that was suspended from a bolt in the ceiling. Murdock lowered his gun but didn't drop it, and he ran over to the bed and felt Jean's neck for a pulse. Finding one he let out one sigh of relief but he still couldn't find any coherent words for her current situation. He grabbed the ropes that bound her wrists and looked at how elaborately they had been tied up and looked back down at her and talked to her, trying to get a response out of her.
Face stepped into the room, trying to find out how he could help. The air in the room was smothering to him, the windows were all shut and the cabin was hot as hell, especially in this room it seemed. Jean's skin was caked in perspiration and she looked like she'd been left lying there for quite some time. Finally she opened her eyes and looked up at the two men and tried to pull herself up, managing only to get her head a couple inches off the bed. She swallowed a lump in her throat, and when she spoke it was obvious that her tongue was thick and dry, not having had anything to drink for several hours. She licked her split lips and said, "Don't tell Hannibal…he doesn't need to know." And then her eyes rolled back, her head fell back and she was unconscious again.
"Jean! Jean!" Murdock's hands reached into the remains of her shirt and felt her heart to make sure it was still beating, and he about collapsed when he could feel it was.
Face took a knife out of his pocket and started cutting at the ropes holding her wrists up and repeated, "Don't tell Hannibal? Don't tell Hannibal what?"
