A/N: Sorry for the delay. Things have been a bit hectic. And it's only going to get worse. Ugh, I'm not looking forward to the next few days.

I based Sirius' mood swings on mood swings I have witnessed (and may or may not have had) while someone (or myself) had imbibed a bit too much to forget something that happened that day. I don't advocate drinking to forget or run from your problems, but that doesn't mean I haven't done it before. Don't you love writing based on real life experiences?


"Hermione?" Ginny's voice sounded from the doors. "Hermione!" There was the sound of running footsteps and a moment later the redhead's hand was on her shoulder.

"Hey," she managed, tears still streaming down her face.

Ginny didn't say anything at first. She wrapped her arms around Hermione and held her as she finally let out the sobs she had been holding back since seeing the look on Sirius' face as he was looking at his former home.

"It was awful, Ginny. The worst place I have ever seen," she sobbed.

"That's kind of the point," Ginny muttered. "If it was like going to a nice hotel people wouldn't mind going there."

"He didn't deserve it. He was innocent, and he was in that place for twelve years!"

"He didn't fight it."

"I don't know why he didn't. No innocent person deserves to be in that place for twelve minutes, let alone twelve years."

"I know, I know. Where is Sirius?"

She pulled away and wiped her tears on her sleeve. "He left. Said he couldn't stay today."

"Oh, 'Mione," Ginny groaned. "Neither of you should be alone tonight."

"But he wants to be. I don't want to go against his wishes."

"He probably wants to drown his sorrows without you there to nag him."

"He told me he wasn't going to drink anymore," Hermione whispered, but sensing that her friend was completely right.

"He just got a reminder of a third of his life he didn't want reminding of. Hell, more than a third, seeing as he had to spend those years on the run, and he's still treated like a horrible criminal."

"I... I don't know what to do," she stammered. Ginny looked a little shocked, it wasn't something she heard come from Hermione's mouth often.

"You should go see him. Make sure he's okay. Get a Sobering Solution into him if he needs it. And stay with him. He needs someone right now, even if he's not willing to admit it."

"But curfew..."

"Hermione," she groaned. "What's more important? Getting a detention for being out of bed after hours or making sure Sirius doesn't drink himself to death tonight. Besides, I honestly think McGonagall didn't expect you back tonight. She was telling Flitwick he's going to have to wait until Monday to talk to you."

Hermione nodded, gave her friend a quick hug, then pulled her cloak around her and rushed towards the gates.


"Another, Rosmerta!" Sirius called, waving his empty glass at the pretty barkeep.

"Sirius Black, I've known you to put them away before, but this is your fifth in ten minutes. Don't you think you should slow it down?"

"My dear, if you had spent your day at Azkaban you'd be drinking like a Grindylow, too."

"Azkaban!" she asked in shock. "What in the world were you thinking, going back to that place?"

"My dear lady love wanted to experience it firsthand," he smiled as she poured him another.

"And you took her? Sirius, dear, you should know better than taking a pretty young thing like that to a place like Azkaban!"

"Lighten up, Rosie. She wanted to go," he chuckled, downing half his drink.

"You should have known better," she said sternly, pouring a round for a foursome that had just arrived.

"I'd do anything for that girl, my dear. If she wanted to go live at the bloody place I'd do it. I love her like I never thought I'd love a witch."

"Then why are you here and not with her?" she said, planting her hands on the bar and giving him a reprimanding look.

"Needed a pick-me-up after that little sightseeing tour," he drained the last of his drink and motioned for another.

"No," she said firmly. "You need to take it easy. You're not a young man anymore. And you don't have anyone to make sure you're alright."

"I know I'm old. Hell, had James lived I bet he and Lily would have given the Weasleys a run for their money as to who produced the most children by now. Why didn't I do something like that while I had the chance?"

"Because I said no, dear," she smirked, pulling his glass from him. "Why don't you go home to your girl, get pampered."

"She sees me like this, and I'm in the doghouse, so to speak. Might as well enjoy my free night."

"Or, you could go to her. I'm sure she'll understand."

"You must be cutting me off. It's not like you to deny a paying customer a drink."

"I think you've had more than enough for tonight. If you won't go let your girl take care of you, I'll have to be the one who makes sure you arrive safely. And since I can't walk you home, I'm going to cut you off while you still have the ability to do it yourself."

"You're too good to me, love."

"Take care of yourself. I'm going to Floo that assistant of yours in fifteen minutes. Make sure you get home okay."

He chuckled as he slid off the seat, throwing his cloak around himself and wobbling towards the door. "You lost your chance, love!" he called back at her. "I'm going to marry that witch, by this time next year, I promise! You'll be seeing little Blacks before you know it!"

She chuckled and shook her head as he stumbled into the street. He looked both ways for a moment, then remembered which way the shop was and started walking that way. He stayed close to the buildings, weaving slightly. The street was deserted except for a pretty witch jogging in his direction.

"Sirius!" the witch called, and it took him a moment to realize that it was Hermione rushing to his side.

"What are you doing away from the castle, love?"

"McGonagall didn't expect me back, and I decided not to disappoint," she told him, face falling as she saw him wobbling on his feet. "How many have you had?"

"Don't worry about it, love, it's none of your concern."

"It's plenty my concern if you're falling over just trying to stand," she sighed, throwing one of his arms around her shoulders and started to lead him down the street.

"I'm not that bad, love," he laughed as he pulled her a couple feet out of line with a drunken stumble.

"Sure you're not," she rolled her eyes as she pulled him across the street towards the shop. They entered, and Chrissy looked up.

"Mr. Black?" she asked as he accidentally knocked over a rack of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Sorry," he muttered with a wide grin. Hermione pulled her wand and the boxes jumped back into place. "Rosmerta will be Flooing soon. Tell her I made it, then close up and go home to you wizard. It's a slow night, and doesn't look like it's going to pick up at all. You should enjoy yourself."

"Thank you," she smiled, looking at Hermione, who shrugged at her as if to say 'just go with it'.

It took some time to get Sirius up the stairs, but Hermione managed it without too much of a fuss. She got him into his flat, closed and locked the door, and deposited him on the couch with the intentions of going in search of a Sobering Solution. But he grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap.

"Sirius," she muttered, trying to pull away as he started kissing her neck. "Now isn't really the time..."

"If there's anything I learned from going back to that place is that now might be all I've got. Any moment not spent with you is a damn waste. Let's get married, right now, love."

"You're drunk. You don't know what..." she tried to stand.

"What I'm talking about?" he said, tightening his grip so she couldn't climb off his lap. "I think you'll find just the opposite. I've wasted enough of my life."

"But I haven't wasted enough of mine to be getting married in the middle of the night," she rolled her eyes. "If you really want to marry me, you'll have to do it properly. Ring, white dress, inviting family and friends, the whole nine yards."

He gave her a pout. "That would be really difficult to put together in the next hour or two, wouldn't it?"

"Partially the point. There's plenty of people who have regretted things they've done drunk at midnight, and a good portion of those have stumbled down the aisle and regret it the next day. I don't think you're in any state to be making a big life decision."

"Are you saying that you'd marry me if I was sober?" he looked eagerly.

"I'm saying I'd be much more willing to talk about it. But right now the subject is closed. No more talking of lifelong commitments tonight."

"So talking about kids is out of the question, too?" he beamed.

"Kids!" she gasped, looking shocked. "Sirius, I'm not old enough to be thinking about having kids!"

"But I am, love. And I want little Blacks."

"What did I tell you? No talking about lifelong commitments with liquor in your system," she said, with a tone of finality.

There was a minute or two of silence where he just held her, but stared forward at a spot on the carpet. "Did you see everything you needed to see today?" he whispered painfully.

"Yes," she replied without elaboration, not wanting to make him relive any part of the day. She nuzzled his neck and wrapped her arms around him, just wanting to hold him and to be held by him.

"Why did you come here?" he asked.

"Because I wanted to," she replied, slightly confused.

"I told you I wanted to be left alone."

"I thought you shouldn't be alone tonight."

"You didn't trust me to not drink myself to death, didn't you?"

"No," she defended. "Ginny said that you and I both went through a lot today, and that neither of us should have to deal with all that by ourselves."

"You could have stayed with her, had a shoulder to cry on. I told you not to come."

"Do you want me to leave?" she whispered with a sinking feeling.

He looked up into her eyes, looking conflicted. Her heart plummeted more and more with each moment he didn't answer. She was almost ready to leave, his mood swings were tiring her, but just as she moved to get up his arms tightened around her waist to prevent her from moving.

"Stay," he muttered into her hair. "I just want to hold you tonight."

"You want me to put you to bed?" she chuckled in relief.

"Do I get a bedtime story?" he smirked.

"If you're a good boy and brush your teeth," she rolled her eyes. She tried to get up again, but felt his hand guiding her head to his. His lips crashed into hers in a bruising kiss.

"I love you," he murmured against her lips. "I just hate that damn place."

"It is certainly not my favorite, either," she assented.

"Please, don't make me ever go back there."

"Never," she shook her head.

"And please stay away. I told you it was no place for a girl like you."

"There's not a bloody chance in hell I'm stepping foot in that place again," she grumbled.

He kissed her again, and she could feel his body relaxing as his mouth worked against hers.

"Bed?" she asked.

He nodded. She stood and helped him into the bedroom. She managed to get him changed into his nightclothes. While he was in the bathroom she slipped into one of his t-shirts and laid next to him. He pulled her close to him, and was asleep quickly. She laid in the darkness, visions of Azkaban replaying in her head. She had to get up to light a lamp to keep her thoughts in the room, but in the end sleep did not come. When she made it to the bathroom she saw a small phial with a few drops of dark potion in the bottom. She sniffed it and immediately realized it was dreamless sleep. Sirius had obviously taken the potion to make it through the night. Sighing, she opened up his medicine cabinet, and saw another couple phials with more Dreamless Sleep. She grabbed one, knowing there was no way she would get sleep without it. After what she had seen it might take more than one phial, and her last thought before drifting off was how many times Sirius had taken the potion to keep the nightmares of his past at bay.