I was so worried about this fic when I posted it (obviously). So I was really happy to see that so many of you liked it and were moved by it. The detail and length of some of the reviews just blew me away! I truly thank you for taking the time to give me feedback on htis. And it was nice to know that there were quite a few who actually thought the same way I did...yup, they probably went home together, and guess what they did? Yeah, even though we know they do that, we all feel bad for Castle.

So here's the next chapter. I have to say a thanks to morethanamuse for using the word 'slimy' in her review when she described the way I'd written Josh. It's totally accurate and there is not a better descriptor. Too bad Kate didn't realize it before this.

Disclaimer: Don't own any part of any of the people or characters mentioned below.


She came awake slowly, thinking that she should be able to relish the feeling of finally being able to get more than a few hours of sleep. But she didn't feel that way. She still felt exhausted, troubled. At first, she didn't know why. But as she floated more into consciousness, she became aware of the sensations around her right breast, specifically her nipple, which she realized had a set of lips attached to it, with a tongue that was doing its best to arouse. She laid there with her eyes closed, still not quite awake, just trying to process the sensations.

She next became aware of a hand in between her legs, opening her, fingers teasing her, and every once in a while pushing inside of her intimately. But it was the voice who drew her fully into consciousness; the voice that was telling her "Baby, come on. Wake up for me, sweetheart. Come on...that's it. I need you..."

Josh.

And with that voice, the memories of the previous night crashed down on her. How she had just...submitted to him. How even now, remembering, she felt like she owed him for choosing her above his humanitarian trip. He stayed for her; she'd asked him to stay and he had! That should have made her feel wonderful, and it did...for a while. But then her mind remembered how cheap she felt when he just seemed to take what he needed from her, without even stopping to think what she needed.

But the fact remained that he stayed for her. How could she do anything except try her very hardest to make his work, in every way that she could? She told herself that there was give and take in every relationship, and this was just one part.

So she shifted a little bit, and as she did she opened her eyes and glanced toward her bedside alarm clock, looking to see what time it was because she still felt mentally and physically exhausted. How long had she been sleeping?

She was chagrined and disheartened to find that she'd only been sleeping for about forty-five minutes. Less than an hour? And he woke her up? "Josh..." she began, trying to get her question voiced as he was sucking and nibbling on her neck, "can't we get a litte more rest? We've barely been in bed for an hour."

Between kisses, he told her, "And it was a pretty enjoyable hour, if you ask me..." He ended his statement with a sexy chuckle, telling her that he was very much awake and was ready for more. As if his actions of fondling her intimately weren't enough of an indication. "Didn't you hear my phone?" he continued. "I got called in. I have to leave. But we have time for a little fun first..." He captured her lips with hers and grasped her hip, pulling her closer to him so she could feel his already-swollen erection against her other hip. He ground himself against her as he kissed her, thrusting his manhood against her just as he was thrusting his tongue into her mouth as he kissed her. He pulled away from her mouth to concentrate on her breasts again as she opened her eyes. She looked down at his his head as he was devouring her nipples, and then she closed her eyes and inwardly cringed. The exhaustion she was feeling had caught up with her. Couldn't he just let her sleep? He'd already had her once, less than an hour ago, and she didn't even really want to go through with it then. And now he wanted her again.

She sighed, and thought she'd try. "Josh." He kept sucking on her nipple, and it didn't seem to hear her at all. "Josh," she tried again. She put her hand side of his face and urged his mouth away from her breast and his eyes up to hers again. When she had his attention, she told him quietly, earnestly, "Josh. I'm tired. I just want to try to get some sleep. Please? It was...really good before," she shuddered inwardly at the lie, but she felt she had to say it, "but I'm just tired now. I need to relax and sleep." She looked at him with pleading eyes, and she then saw the change in his when he realized that she was serious, and was exhausted.

"Aw, babe," he said, stroking her cheek tenderly with his fingers. The pulsing of his hips against her had stopped. He gave her a light kiss on her lips. Finally, it seemed like she'd gotten through to him. She knew her exhaustion was making her emotional, but she almost felt like crying from happiness. It was so different from how she'd felt just a little while ago, when she'd felt like she was merely the means to an end for him. Now, it seemed as though he was looking at her needs too.

But then when he spoke again, the single, solitary sentence that he uttered made happiness fall down and get squashed into the dirt. That teriffic high that she was just on took an abrupt dive-bombing nosedive down to an extreme low as he attempted a sexy smile and said "You know, I can help you get really relaxed, and then you can just sleep it off when I go to the hospital." She closed her eyes as the meaning of his words sunk in. She was right before...he just wanted to get off, and she was the way for him to do it. She was there, she was naked, his cock was laying there throbbing against her. He'd justify it any way he could. And with that, he rolled over on her, driving her legs apart with his knees, and pushed himself down to her core. He entered her with one sure stroke, moaning and telling her, "God, you're still so wet! Oh, you are so good." He pumped his hips into her several more times. She could hear his breathing quicken and then on a ragged breath he told her "Come on, Kate, come for me..."

Her very first, unbidden thought was 'what the hell?' He'd just woken her up from a dead sleep that she'd needed because she was exhausted, he'd just joined them together without really any encouragement from her, and he already expected her to be aroused enough to climax? She thought that in her sleep-haze, she must have misunderstood. So once again, she tried to revel in the sensations of him being inside her. She told herself that she could lose herself in him and it would feel good, it would help her relax, just as he said it would.

But she felt nothing. She wanted to, but she didn't.

She went on autopilot. And she was surprised that somewhere in that moment of sleep-deprived exhaustion was a moment of utter clarity. Since she and her body just seemed to be a means to an end for him, he was going to be a means to an end for her. The quicker she could get this over with, the better for her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and dug her heels into his ass as he pounded into her. Normally just the position alone would arouse her more, but not now. When he felt her legs go around him, he breathed "Ohhhh, yeah, that's it, hold me tighter..." Then he grabbed the back of her thighs and pulled on them, so her legs were wider apart for him, though it was in direct contrast to what he'd just said about her being wrapped tightly around him.

She didn't usually have this much time to analyze him and his actions, but now that her mind was somehow detached from her body, she could see that he was just so thoroughly concerned with obtaining his release from her body that he didn't know what he was saying or if it made sense. And she knew from the past that he liked to talk, liked the commentary, so to speak. He always wanted her to talk, and talk dirty, to tell him how good it was. It helped him achieve his satisfaction faster; it aroused him. Most of the time, she was so into the passion that she couldn't formulate words, or she didn't want to so the passion could be prolongued for them, so she wasn't a big talker.

But not now.

But as he kept pumping into her her, harder and harder, his breathing grew more labored as he told her, "Come on babe, I can't hold out much longer. You have to come. I want to feel you come around me."

So...means to an end. She ran her hands over his back and down to his ass, where she dug her fingers into the flesh as he pumped himself in and out of her.

And she began to fake it.

She closed her eyes and reached her head sideways on the pillow as if she was in ecstacy. "Oh, Josh," she moaned, "Yes, that's it...deeper. God, you're so long. I just want you so deep in me." Though she didn't say very many words, the effect on him was immediate because it was a rarity that he heard her utter much at all during the act. And she knew that describing his manhood would definitley work on him. He moaned as he drove more forcefully into her.

"Come, baby..." he pleaded.

Then she let out a breathy moan of "Oh, God..." as she began to intentionally contract her internal muscles around him a few times. "Ohhhhh...yes...yes..." she trailed off.

Her first few words and her response were all that he needed, and she could feel him drive violently into her a few more times as his cock exploded in her again while his body jerked with his release. "Oh, fuck, yeah...yeah...ohhhh," he murmured as his hips finished pumping into her.

He collapsed on top of her for a solid few minutes, breathing heavily. When he rose again, he rolled off of her and said offhandedly, almost in a cocky tone, "See, babe, I just knew I could relax you. That was really hot." And he raised himself out of her bed to go to the bathroom to wash himself off.

If she wasn't so tired, she might have rolled her eyes at how utterly clueless he was. God, she'd just faked it and he hadn't even noticed! When he was out of the room, she rolled over to the other side of the bed, where it wasn't wet from two bouts of sex that she'd never really wanted in the first place. She rolled over on her stomach and pulled the blankets over her, snuggling into them as she closed her eyes. She laid perfectly still-which wasn't too much of a stretch because of her level of physical exhaustion-and tried to feign sleep for when Josh came back out of the bathroom. The thought kept swirling through her mind that first, she was so glad that he was back, and now, she couldn't wait for him to leave her alone.

He did come back out after a few minutes and she could hear him getting dressed. She tried to keep her breathing even. She felt the bed give under his weight as he sat down to put on his boots and then the other. Then she could hear his footsteps walk over by her. She felt his gaze on her and she fought to still keep her breathing even and not move. She heard him chuckle lightly. And then he said, more to himself in a congratulatory sort of way, "Yeah, I relaxed you all right."

He turned and left her room then, and seconds later she heard the door to her apartment close. She rolled back over onto her back and felt immediate relief envelope her, followed by a sense of loneliness. Tears formed in her eyes. God, she'd never had to fake passion, fake an orgasm before. She remembered that old movie where Meg Ryan proved to Billy Crystal that women fake it, and she demonstrated it in the middle of the restaurant. It was funny at the time. Hilarious. But now, she just felt loss. Loss of companionship. Loss that the one person she was counting on to build something with couldn't even seem to see past his own needs to see that she was hurting, to see what she needed. Loss that she'd just been-totally and without a doubt-used. And all along over the last few hours, she'd been telling herself that it was okay because after all, he'd stayed for her. He'd given up the humanitarian trip for her. But now, she wondered...besides her female body parts, which he obviously appreciated, what part of the 'for her' argument was present in the last two hours? It was all about him, about him screwing her, about him getting off. Wow...that mental clarity thing was something. Talk about an epiphany.

And she realized that she hadn't just been faking it just now, but she'd probably been faking it for a lot longer. Real-with Josh-wasn't in the cards. Fake and superficial had worked well up until now. But now, faking it just wasn't going to cut it for her anymore.

Not anymore. And not ever again.


On a side note, I've been to the deli where they filmed that scene in 'When Harry Met Sally'. They even have a sign up that points to the very table (place) where it was filmed.

I was dating a guy once, and I had one of those epiphanies where all of a sudden, you just see things in complete clarity. It just hit me that it wasn't going to work out. And it seemed so...obvious, all of a sudden. I'd been denying it and trying to justify things for too long, and then it just hit me.

And to those who thought that Kate wouldn't necessarily submit to being treated like that...I don't necessarily think so either. But with the stress of the situation that she'd just come out of, and her expectations about her relationship with Josh, and the fact that he made such a grand gesture (or so it seemed to her initially), I thought she'd probably behave differently than normal. She was in her home, with the guy that she was in a relationship with, so she wasn't super, kick-butt cop anymore. She was just a woman in need of some comfort, and she wasn't getting it. And then she was second-guessing herself...

I never intended to go past two chapters, but I'll leave this as incomplete for now in case I ever decide to come back to it if inspiration strikes.

Well...thoughts? I hope you enjoyed the ending; I thought it was a little more hopeful than last time.